“No.” I slipped into bed beside him. “We care for each other, we enjoy each other’s company. I’m content. Are you?”
“Yes,” he said, looking up at the ceiling and blinking rapidly. “Yes, I am. Don’t ever leave me, Starr. I need you.”
“Colin, don’t distress yourself.” I touched his cheek. “I’ve said I’m content, and I meant it.”
“But I’ve seen the way men look at you,” he said. “And I ache in my heart to please you as…Barret could…as Jared pleases Caroline.”
“You know about Captain Fletcher and Caroline?”
“Of course. We’re a troubled family, my beautiful wife. Do you often wish yourself free of us?”
“No, I love you as the brother I’ve never had. You’ve given me caring and tenderness beyond any obligation.”
”Thank God for you, my lovely Starr,” he breathed, and drew my fingers to his lips. Then he broke down, coughing. I held him and soothed him and, shortly, he drifted off to sleep.
****
“You and Colin will leave on Friday next, aboard the Linnet,” Abraham informed me when he summoned me to his office in mid-May.
I stifled an audible sigh of relief. I had feared being shipped off aboard the Maris Stella with Barret Madison.
I was packing that evening when I heard someone at the piano in the drawing room. My heart caught and stumbled over the staggering notes. I knew who was making that valiant effort. As I started downstairs, I wondered how to proceed. He would need comforting after his garbled recital, and I must somehow find the words to provide it.
I paused in the drawing room doorway. A low fire on the hearth struggled to dispel the spring chill and encroaching gloom. In the bleak May twilight my husband sat alone at the piano. He wore a white linen shirt and black trousers. A blanket was draped about his shoulders in defense against the cold to which he’d become acutely sensitive since we’d been returned to Peacock House.
He started a new composition, a beautiful nocturne, but completed only a few bars before his fingers tripped and fell over the melody. Frustrated, he raised his hands and crashed them down upon the keys.
“Colin, no!” I rushed forward and caught his wrists as he was about to once again smash his fingers into the ivory.
“I can’t play, Starr,” he yelled. “I may as well be dead. Darcy is dead, I’m back in this house, and I can’t play!”
“No.” I shook him, trying to bring him out of his temper. “You’ll play again. You’re still recovering from a brutal illness. Wait until you’re well. And we are escaping from this house.” I lowered my voice. “Once we’re on that Caribbean island, we can book passage to Vienna. Your father will be too far away to stop us this time.”
“Do you think we could?” He looked up at me, his expression one of naïve, childlike expectation. “If only I could believe…”
“Believe,” I said with a confidence I was far from feeling. “This time we will be free.”
He drew me down onto his lap and into his arms to hold me in a trembling embrace.
“I will believe,” he breathed. “I must. Otherwise, I will die.”
“Now, play.” I kissed his cheek and extricated myself from his embrace. “I know you can.”
“Yes.” He flexed his fingers, grimaced, and replaced them on the keys. “Yes, I can.”
The music was slow, faltering at first, but it was a start. I folded my hands and smiled. Yes, Colin would play again.
Then a slight sound from the doorway made me turn. Captain Madison stood on the threshold watching us. Our eyes met for a moment, and he winked and nodded approvingly before moving away unnoticed by my husband, who was already engrossed in his music.
I left Colin absorbed in his practicing a half hour later and returned to our bedroom to finish packing. Rose had gone, leaving my cases neatly in order. With a sigh, I sank down in a chair to rest. It was then I heard voices in the office below. Reverend Prescott, Abraham, and, surprisingly, Mary Constable were having a discussion.
“I do not want to marry Captain Fletcher,” Mary pleaded, her voice trembling. “Please, Mr. Douglas, sir, don’t insist!”
“Think about it, my girl.” My father-in-law’s tone was authoritative. “He’s well-to-do and a handsome beggar, to boot. You could do much worse.”
“Abraham, please listen to the child,” Reverend Prescott was imploring. “I’m sure Captain Fletcher will have no part of an arranged marriage, either.”
“I caught him fondling my daughter-in-law!” Abraham shocked me by booming. “He’ll do exactly as I say or lose not only his present command but his master’s ticket as well. I will not have him drawing Randall’s wife into adultery to satisfy his physical needs.”
“Abraham, please!” Reverend Prescott implored. “There’s a young woman present. We must speak accordingly.”
“Don’t worry about me, Reverend.” Mary spoke up, her voice hard with anger. "I was aboard the Maris Stella when Starr Reynolds seduced Captain Madison and convinced him to allow her to share his cabin for a fortnight. Captain Madison is a good, kind person, but he is a man, and that creature knows all the tricks. If you force me to marry that…that womanizing Captain Fletcher, I shall tell Mr. Colin the truth about his bride.”
“Why, you despicable bit of baggage!” Abraham raged. “How dare you threaten me! Get her out of here, Adam, before I forget myself and strike a woman. Captain Fletcher is too good for such a lying bitch. Rose!” he roared out into the hallway. “Fetch Captain Madison. Immediately!”
As I listened to Mary and the minister leave and heard Abraham bellow for Captain Madison, I was ill with fear. By the time Barret had joined my father-in-law, the older man seemed to have regained his self-control and could speak civilly once more.
“Barret, a disturbing accusation has been laid against you,” he said. “Mary Constable has told me you took Starr as your mistress for the crossing from England. Did you?”
“No.” The reply was crisp. “I thought about it. I even gave her my cabin for a couple of weeks and fondled her a few times. But she rejected my advances. And I wasn’t about to take her by force. I like my ladies ready and willing.”
“I thought as much.” Abraham chuckled. “I believe you. No matter what your other vices, you’re no liar. Now tell me, when you fondled her, did you find her to be a virgin?”
“Sweet Jesus, Abe! I said fondled, not examined. I never got so far.”
“Good. Very good. Did she seem attracted to you, did she try to seduce you, anything to indicate she was loose or had a yen for you?”
“She shoved me away. Take that as your answer.”
****
I couldn’t sleep. Many things were troubling me. Aside from Mary Constable’s accusation, I’d made a wild promise to Colin in an effort to raise his spirits. Now I lay uncomfortable and disconcerted in our bed while he slumbered by my side, no doubt with visions of Vienna dancing through his head.
He stirred and muttered in his sleep, “Cold.”
“I’ll get another quilt,” I murmured, and arose.
When I’d spread it over him and he’d settled with a contented sigh, I stood a moment looking down at him, then went to gaze out the window at the huge moon rising over the river.
How could I manage the escape to Vienna I’d promised him? Maybe Barret could be persuaded to help. No, I couldn’t ask that of him. Abraham would ruin him if he dared to take his son away again. I had to find some other way.
****
A raw April wind was sweeping over the docks, as we waited for our trunks to be stowed away aboard the Linnet, when Barret Madison galloped Lucifer onto the pier. Randall, mounted on Bach, rode close behind him.
They had come to bid us farewell, I thought, as I stood between Colin and his father, my fur-lined cloak keeping the cold at bay, my leather boots protecting my feet from patches of lingering snow and icy puddles. In three weeks Colin and I would be on a Caribbean island, living in Abe’s cottage, under order
s to bring about a pregnancy. I looked up at Barret Madison and my heart skipped a beat. How could I become pregnant from another man when I was in love with him?
“I thought you were going to miss your ship.” Abraham addressed the captain. Startled, I glanced up at my father-in-law.
“Never fear.” Barret swung to the ground and handed Lucifer’s reins to Randall. “My sea chest was aboard at dawn.”
“Barret is accompanying you,” Abraham explained. “Last week Andrew MacDonald saw fit to steal the London Lass from her anchorage in this very river. He claimed he’d purchased most of her shares before he left my employ and that she was rightfully his. I disagree, and since I still hold her ownership papers, I have the law on my side. Barret, with the help of Jared’s crew, is to seize the London Lass where I’ve been told she lies at anchor in the Caribbean and bring her back to me, loaded with guano. I’ll not be defied, nor denied what is rightfully mine, you see, my dear.” He looked meaningfully at me.
“Barret.” He turned to the captain. “Pack the Lass’s holds well with those bird droppings. Supervise her loading personally and, as you do, keep in mind that holds are meant for cargo and not as hiding places for your employer’s errant son.”
“Father, that’s not fair,” Colin protested. “I forced Barret to take me with him to Vienna the spring Mother died, and to Halifax at Christmas.”
“And just how did you force him, my lad? Did you torture him with your guitar? Or jam his fingers in your piano?”
“I’ll bring the guano.” Barret ended the argument. “Now let’s get on board.”
****
We had been at sea almost three weeks and were entering warmer climates off the Florida coast when the drama that was to entirely alter the course of my life began.
A sailor had brought a tray of wine and cheese to our cabin shortly after I retired there following dinner. I recalled having told Colin such fare must be reserved for special occasions and wondered why he had requested the treats on this particular night.
I had just finished bathing when Colin joined me. He had a glass of brandy with Barret and Jared each evening after our meal, to give me the privacy of our room for my toilet. On this particular night, he returned slightly inebriated and began to undress.
It was the first time I had seen him intoxicated since our wedding night, and I was nonplused as he stripped off his jacket, vest, and shirt without reaching for a dressing robe as he normally did.
“Starr, I know my father has threatened you with banishment if you…if we don’t have a child,” he said. “I can’t risk that happening.” He tugged at his belt and staggered close to the built-in bed where I sat curled up in a rose-colored silk wrapper. “Tonight I will be your husband,” he slurred, towering over me. “Tonight I will give you my baby.”
“Colin…”
“Damn it, Starr! It’s our only chance.” His eyes reflected his desperation. “I can’t fight my father. And God knows we’ll never succeed in eluding him.” His voice softened to near pleading as he knelt beside my bed. “Please help me! Please help us stay together. I’ll be gentle. And when the baby comes, I’ll stay with you through your labor. Starr, I’m begging you. Don’t refuse me!”
“Colin, you don’t have to do this,” I said, reaching out to stroke his tense cheek. “I’m not afraid of your father. All I care about is your happiness.”
“I know that, Starr,” he said. “But I also know what you’ve already suffered, how cruel and comfortless your life was—Darcy told me much more vividly than you did—and now I want you to have all the luxuries you deserve. I want you with me forever. And if our having a baby together will accomplish that, then we’ll do it.” He released his belt and dropped his trousers. “I love you, Starr,” he said, his voice full of emotion. “Believe me, I do.”
He moved to a chair, pulled off boots and socks, then came to join me on the bed, clad only in his skintight undertrousers. With trembling fingers, he undid the sash of my wrap and slowly, looking nervously into my eyes for approval, opened it.
“You’re very lovely,” he murmured, lowering his gaze when I made no move to stop him.
“I love you, Colin,” I whispered, my heart pounding so loudly I could barely hear myself speak. “If you think fathering a child will keep us as you wish…” I put my arms about his neck. Slowly and gently he pushed me back to lie on the bed beneath him.
“Starr, oh, God, Starr,” he moaned, and he was trembling. He drew himself over me, his body tense and shuddering.
He fumbled with the fastening of his drawers. In an effort to encourage him, I kissed his sweat-damp forehead. I could feel no fear of this awkward boy who was my husband, only pity at his desperate attempt to make love to me.
“Help me, Starr,” he begged. “Help me. I can’t…”
He moved over me frantically, his efforts breaking out sweat over his chest. He slid himself between my legs and thrust against me.
“Colin, sweetheart, we’ve got all night,” I soothed, feeling his anxiety. “Let’s just lie quietly together, and after a time you’ll be able to.”
“No, no, I have to…now…now,” he choked, increasing his efforts. “Now…”
A burst of cannon fire stopped his torrent of impassioned words. The Linnet shuddered beneath us. From the decks above came the sudden sound of running feet, accompanied by an angry cacophony of sailors’ voices.
“What was that?” Colin turned in my arms as, startled, I pulled my robe around both of us. A moment later Barret Madison burst in upon us.
“Pirates!” he yelled. “Stay below and keep quiet! With luck, we’ll be able to fight them off.”
“I’ll come with you.” Colin was scrambling from the bed, closing his undertrousers.
“No!” Barret’s single word was an undeniable command. “You aren’t yet strong enough to make yourself anything more than a liability. Stay here and be a comfort to your wife. She’s as white as a ghost. And for God’s sake, put some clothes on. If we’re overcome, you’ll both be raped.”
He left as abruptly as he’d entered.
“Miserable cur!” Colin spat, reaching for his clothes. “Belittling bastard!”
“Colin, pirates do rape women prisoners, don’t they?” I asked. Captain Madison’s words had flashed a terrible memory across my brain. “Please don’t let them rape me, Colin! I couldn’t bear it.”
“Oh, my poor angel!” he breathed, forgetting his annoyance in concern for me as he took me into his arms.
He drew his long legs, knees bent, onto the bed, and I huddled between them, my head against his bare chest. He stroked my hair and murmured, “Hush, hush,” as the sounds of the brutal fight erupted above us.
Then we heard them breaking open cabin doors as the marauders made their way down the passageway to our cabin. Savage shouts and scuffles over the division of the spoils in each room marked their progress. Finally they were outside our very door.
“Colin, please, please don’t let them rape me!” I clung to him, mesmerized with terror. “Swear before God you’ll kill me yourself before…”
Before I could finish my sentence, the door burst open. I huddled against my husband’s chest as the marauders, their features hidden behind black hoods, surged into the cabin.
“Well, well, what have we here?” one of them laughed. “A pair of young’uns matin’? Come, lad, let us see your bitch.”
“I’ve money,” Colin replied with astonishing control, but beneath my ear his heart was thundering. “Take it and go. Leave my wife alone. She’s…with child.”
“Laid her good, did you, boy?” the burly leader spoke again, a vicious chuckle in his throat. “Well, I’d like to look at this pregnant wench of yours. Perhaps she’s not yet too ungainly to give us sport. Give her here, lad.”
“God damn you!” Colin leaped to his feet. He swung at the black hood who’d made the suggestion, but a second pirate came at him from the side. Before Colin’s blow could touch the leader, the second
man’s fist had sunk deep into my husband’s belly. Colin roared in pain and sank to his knees, clutching himself.
I remembered the knife Colin had brought to the cabin with our lunch. Lying between the wine and cheese, it winked at me in the lantern light. As the pirate leader came toward me, my fingers inched slowly toward it.
“Why, she’s a right comely little wench,” he leered. “And her belly isn’t swelled a bit. Either the lad is lying or she’s not far gone. She’ll make sport, and that’s all we care about, right, lads?”
The others roared their approval, but as the towering hulk reached for me with huge, hairy hands, my fingers closed over the knife. Like an enraged feline, I lunged at him, screaming and lashing out with the weapon. Taken by surprise, he stumbled backward and all but fell.
My first stab found its mark deep in the flesh of his left thigh. He yelled in pain, then brought up his hand to slap me across the face. The blow sent me reeling back against a wall beam with a nauseating flash of blinding pain. Dazed but still conscious, I crumpled to the cabin floor.
“Vicious little whore!” I heard him rasp. “Take her to the deck, lads. We’ll teach her manners!”
I was thrown over a hard, broad shoulder and carried from the cabin.
On deck, the pirate dropped me to the planks. As the fresh salt air revived me, I became aware of Colin, his hands shackled behind him, kneeling beside me. His face was a ghastly shade of gray, but he was crouching over me, his concern concentrated on me.
“Starr, sweetheart!” he choked. “Are you all right?”
“God damn your miserable souls to Hell!” I recognized Barret Madison’s voice as my throbbing head cleared. “They’re only children! Leave them alone!”
“Now, Mr. Madison, would you go denyin’ us what gossip in Pine says you’ve already had the pleasure of?” Groggily I rolled my head to see a huge, familiar form towering over Colin and me, legs planted wide apart, arms akimbo, blood dripping from the wound I had inflicted in his forearm.
Beyond him, I saw Barret and Jared Fletcher tied, backs to the mainmast. Barret’s face in the light of swaying lanterns was a monument to outrage. Jared’s subdued crew, with many injured among their number, had been herded against the bulwarks aft, guarded at musket point by black-hooded pirates.
Shadows of Love Page 22
