by Simone Elise
“I’m a builder,” Tim answered my question.
“Oh.” I looked at Reaper. “You extending the clubhouse or something?” It was club land. I guess it made sense to extend the clubhouse. I’m sure Dad had had plans for this land back in the day. But he just let the trees have it after he built the clubhouse and garage.
Reaper pulled on my hand and walked me to a table. There were plans laid out on it. I could see that from here. I wasn’t that stupid; I knew what a plan looked like from afar.
He stopped me at the table and went to stand behind me while I ran my eyes over the plans. I frowned. This didn’t look like a clubhouse. It didn’t have enough rooms, bedrooms or living rooms. There was no bar.
“OK, Kade, I’m confused.”
He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me back to his chest. “What do you see?”
“Plans. But they look like…” There weren’t enough rooms for it be a clubhouse but there were enough rooms to make it one fucking large house. It was a two-story by the plans.
“It looks like what, Abby?” I could hear the smile in his voice.
“A house?”
He mouth went to my ear. “Your house.”
I turned the side of my face to look at him, seeing the smirk on his face. “Wait a sec. Are you saying...?” No, he had to be joking with me. He wasn’t seriously building me... a house… was he?
He kissed the side of my head. “I told you I wasn’t letting you leave the club.”
“So you’re building me a house?” I looked at the plans and then spun around to look at him. “Here?”
He nodded his head. “I’ll be living here because I’m needed and I don’t want my family living in a clubhouse. And I’m too selfish not to have you and Tyson here.”
“So you’re building us a house!” I threw my arms around his neck, grinning. And I wasn’t forcing the grin. I was seriously happy. “You know I would have settled for living at the clubhouse.”
“You’ve lived in a clubhouse all your life. I want you to have a house, one that everyone knows to stay the fuck away from. And I want Tyson to have a somewhat normal life.”
“You’re amazing, you know that, Kade?” I went to kiss his lips but he spun me around.
“Now, is there anything you want to change?” He redirected my attention to the plans.
“Nope, it’s amazing.”
“Abby, at least look.”
“OK, fine. But I’m not changing anything. Who designed it anyway?”
“I did.”
I looked over my shoulder and up at him. “And you expect me to change things?”
“Yes. Start looking.”
I rolled my eyes and looked back at the plans. “How many kids are you expecting to have?” I had counted five bedrooms now.
“As many as I can get.”
I scoffed. “And what if I said Tyson was going to be an only child?” I kept looking over the plans.
“I’m pretty sure I could knock you up if I wanted to.”
I laughed. He was right. Even though I was pregnant right now, I didn’t let that ruin the gift Kade was giving me. I was dealing with that on Thursday. Till then, I was just going to pretend like it wasn’t happening. My eyes froze on the word ‘studio.’ It was right next to the study.
“Is that a studio as in art studio?” I asked, looking closer, my fingers running over the plans.
He nodded his head. “It will have a plumbed-in sink right here.” He pointed. And sure enough, it was on the plan.
“You’ve thought of everything,” I muttered and looked at the master room. I smiled. “I see we have two wardrobes.”
“His and hers. Because you own more fucking clothes than anything else.”
“So I can take over yours then?” I smirked and snuck a glance over my shoulder, seeing him roll his eyes.
“Whatever you want, babe.” He kissed my shoulder. “Now, anything you want to change?”
“Isn’t that a bit late? Aren’t they about to pour the slab?” I snuck a glance around Kade. Sure enough, men were waiting. But they hadn’t started.
“Nothing starts till you approve it.”
I twisted in his arms, looking up at him. “How do you always think of everything?”
“So you like it?”
“I love it and I love that Tyson and I’ll never be far from you. But…”
“But?” he prompted me to keep going.
“But with all these kids you plan on having, you haven’t left a room for Kim,” I smirked.
He rolled his eyes. “Here I thought it was something serious.”
“It is. You and she have gotten close. I swear, she only annoys people she loves. And she loves to annoy you.”
“She just kept me sane while you were gone.” Reaper shrugged it off, like their friendship wasn’t a big deal. “Apart from the no room for Kim, you happy?”
“Very.”
“So I can give the go ahead for the slab?”
“Yes!” My eyes lit up and I grinned. “How long till I can move in?”
“It won’t be finished for months.”
“Did you ever think, just once, maybe you didn’t want me living right here? Because normally a guy goes to the club to get away from his family.” I knew that’s why Dad lived here when I was little.
“Babe, I never want to be away from you ever again. I know being mother charter president means I’ll be busy, but when I’m not, I’ll be right here for you. Plus having a permanent president old lady on club land means the girls will stay in line.”
“So you did it just to keep the girls in line, huh?” I was only joking. “Well, I’ve always thought of this place as home.”
Chapter 27
Abby
Thursday was hands down one of the worst day of my life. But I got through it, thanks to Kim. I got through it. Reaper didn’t even pick up on the fact that something had been wrong. I hid it that well.
The days passed with ease after it. I was sore, but fine and no longer pregnant.
Thank Christ for that.
Tyson was having a checkup today, which was the only reason Reaper was letting me leave. I assumed I was going by myself till he appeared, taking Tyson from me and putting him in the car seat.
“Um, what you doing?” I asked.
“Coming with you.” Reaper closed the door. “I told you, you aren’t leaving here without me.”
“But you’re busy.”
“Club comes second. Now get in the car, Abby.”
I walked around the car and got in.
“Do you have a cigarette? I’m out,” Reaper said, patting himself down.
“Yep.” I handed him my handbag.
I was putting my chapstick on when I noticed Reaper frowning. I looked at him. And then my stomach dropped, twisted and then turned so sharply it made me feel physically sick.
“What’s this?” Reaper was holding my hospital tag from Thursday. I had forgotten I put that in there. “It’s a hospital tag, but you weren’t in the hospital this week, were you?”
Oh god, this couldn’t be happening. I had avoided it and avoided it. And now I was being forced to see it, to see the look on his face when he heard the truth.
“I was,” I staggered out.
He looked at the date, frowning. “What? Last Thursday?”
I nodded my head, waiting for the look he was going to give me. Could I tell him the truth?
“Why?” He looked at me.
I clenched my eyes shut. I hadn’t cried yet. But this, admitting to Reaper that Jake had raped me, well, that had me nearly crying. I just wanted to run and my hand went to the door handle. He knew what I was going to do because he quickly locked the doors.
Fuck.
“Abby, why were you in the hospital?”
“Because I was…” I couldn’t say it. I literally could not form the words. My body was shutting down. I did not want to have this
conversation with him.
“Abby, tell me what’s going on. Now.”
I looked back at him. I was half-prepared for his reaction.
“I was pregnant,” I stuttered the words out.
He frowned. “But we haven’t had sex.”
God, he was going to make me say it. “It wasn’t yours.”
The realization slowly appeared on his face. The shock. He was putting it together. I watched his face as he clicked the pieces together. “You had sex with Jake?”
“He raped me. But yes.” There, I had said it out loud. The anger that was on his face scared me. He twisted, looking at me.
“How many times?”
“Does it matter?”
“HOW MANY TIMES?”
I cringed. He wanted details. Fine. “All the time, once he decided he wanted to have a family with me. That’s why we were heading overseas. He wanted me to have his children. He was planning on us starting a family.”
He was clenching the steering wheel and then he let go of it like it had burned him. I saw the disgust on his face. And it hit me hard right in the chest, right in the heart. That’s what that look on his face did to me. It made my heart ache. Because it was exactly what I had been afraid of.
He got out of the car and slammed the door, storming off.
And that was the reaction I had been expecting, the disgust on his face. Yeah, I was expecting that. I got out of the car, walked around it and got in the driver’s seat. He could be as disgusted as he wanted. I couldn’t turn back time and change what had happened.
I hadn’t cried through this whole experience.
Not once had I cried. Not once when Jake raped me. Not once when he had beaten me. Not once when I got back home. Not even when I saw Tyson for the first time.
But as I pulled out of the lot, I was crying. Because I had just lost him. Whether he realized it or not, I had lost him. I saw the disgust on his face. There was no way that those eyes would look at me with love again.
It just wasn’t possible.
Chapter 28
Reaper
I picked a fight at a bar, took out three men and it still didn’t take the edge off my rage. I had sped to get back to the clubhouse. And now I was here. I needed to see her. My reaction hadn’t been the best. But if I had stayed a second longer, she would have seen another side to me.
“Where’s Abby?” I demanded of Kim, who was at the bar with Trigger.
Abby and Tyson weren’t in our room. I didn’t know where she was. But I knew I had to talk to her. I had known she was keeping something from me. Now I knew what it was. I knew what she had been keeping from me. I understood why she didn’t tell me. But if she had told me before I killed him, I could have made him suffer more.
“I thought she was with you? Didn’t Tyson have his checkup?” Kim frowned.
“So she hasn’t been here all day?” Surely she hadn’t done what I was thinking she had done, had she?
“No. I haven’t seen her since this morning. Which is odd because it’s after nine and Tyson should be in bed.” Kim looked at me harder. “What did you do?”
“Nothing.”
“Don’t give me that shit.” She looked at my bloody knuckles and sighed. “She told you.”
“YOU KNEW!”
“Yes! God, who do you think organized the abortion? You didn’t react like I think you did, did you?”
“How was I meant to react?” Wanting to kill everyone that was within arm’s reach? Was that an acceptable reaction? Because that’s how I reacted!
“She ran,” Kim said, shaking her head at me. “You are a real dickhead, Reaper! Look at what you’ve done! You’ve made her run!”
Run? She wouldn’t seriously run from me, would she? It dawned on me. She might think I didn’t want her anymore. “Where would she go?” I asked Kim, suddenly feeling panic. “Where would she go if she wanted to run?”
“Anywhere away from you!” Kim pushed me hard on the shoulder and walked over to Brad. “Brad, track Abby’s phone. If it is dead, then she has run.”
Brad pulled up his phone.
“She wouldn’t run,” I said. But when things got hard, she did tend to run. I was always stopping her. If she thought I didn’t want her anymore, she would run. My eyes widened. God, I was such an idiot.
“Phone’s dead,” Brad said, confirming what Kim thought.
She turned to look at me with such anger. “She knew you were going to react like this. She knew you would push her away. And what do you do? YOU DID IT!”
“I wasn’t thinking!” God, the rage I felt. It just happened! “I just needed time.” I ran a hand through my hair. “I didn’t want her to run.”
“Well, she has.” Kim crossed her arms. “And she isn’t going to call me. And I can’t call her because she has gone off the grid.”
“Track Tyson’s stroller,” I said to Brad. “And my credit cards. Check them.” If she was running, she would need money.
I was thankful Brad had put trackers on everything possible when it came to Tyson and Abby.
Brad frowned. “Tyson’s signal is dead. I’m guessing she found it. And there’s no activity on your cards or your bank account. She hasn’t touched any of your money.”
“FUCK!” Now what was I supposed to do? I couldn’t track her down.
“I’m guessing she is in another state by now.” Kim whacked me hard on the shoulder. “I’ve lost her again. Thanks to you. Again!”
Roach got up to leave. “Where are you going?” I said. If he knew where she was, he’d better fucking tell me.
Roach looked at me hard. “Your mess, your problem. Abby was always more than capable of looking after herself. When she was by herself, that is.”
“You’re lying to me.”
“Maybe. Maybe not.”
“You are lying, Dad. Just tell Reaper the truth,” Kim snapped. “Has she reached out to you?”
Roach looked from me to Kim and then sighed. “Only one place she would go if she really thought about running. Before she had decided where to go, I would know where she’d be.”
“That being?” I asked him, feeling impatience.
“Home.”
“What, here? She isn’t here. I’ve looked!”
“No.” Roach rolled his eyes. “To her mom. She would go home to her mom.”
Kim’s eyes widened in understanding. “Makes sense she would go there.”
“To the graveyard? How does that make sense? It’s after nine at night and Tyson should be in bed!
Kim turned to me with a grim smile on her face. “She’s not in a graveyard. She’s at our home in Spencer Street. Dad never sold it cause she’s buried there.”
“Abby never told me that.” Not once had she told me where her mother was. I just assumed she was in a graveyard.
“Abby doesn’t like to talk about it. She used to live there when she was younger. Then she met you and stopped going.” Kim crossed her arms and looked at Roach. “Well, which one of us is going to speak to her before she runs?” Her eyes glanced at me. “She won’t want to see you.”
“I’ll see her,” Roach said.
“No. I did the damage. I’ll fix it.” I pulled out my bike keys. “She is running from me to begin with.”
I shouldn’t have reacted like I did. It was my fault that she wanted nothing to do with me. Hell, I knew how her brain worked. She would be thinking I didn’t want her.
But what had my heart beating that bit faster with panic was this: what if she decided she didn’t want me after seeing my reaction?
Chapter 29
Abby
Tyson was in my arms and we were sitting out back with Mom. I told her everything, every little detail. I told her. For once, I had someone to share my experience with. I wasn’t just saying I was fine. I wasn’t just shrugging it off. I was speaking the truth.
Tyson and I were on a blanket. He should have been asleep, but h
e wouldn’t sleep in the crib I had put together. It was funny being back here. Everything was exactly the same. Dad had kept the place clean. I assumed there was a cleaner who came and wiped the dust away, keeping the house frozen in time.
I looked at Mom’s headstone. “OK, Mom. Now you know. What do I do next?”
“Forgive him.”
I turned, looking over my shoulder. My eyes widened. How the hell did he know to come here? I had picked here because he wouldn’t know about it.
“How the hell did you find me?” The anger I felt about him being here crept into my voice. I had never once told him where Mom was. Never once had I ever mentioned my home to him.
I could see the guilt creep across his face as he stood under the porch light.
“Your dad might have given me a tip-off.”
Curse Dad for knowing me too well. I turned back to the headstone. He could fuck off, as far as I was concerned. I was asking Mom what to do. I wasn’t asking him.
“I’m sorry, Abby.”
I ignored him. I was raped. Me. I had to deal with that every day. I had to deal with the pregnancy. And when I told him, he was mad at me? Yeah, he really had a right to be pissed off. I realized all this as soon as I got here.
Reaper reacted the only way he knew how, with anger. And he wanted me to just take it, to accept it. Fuck him.
“Abby, I’m really sorry.”
He was getting closer, his shadow covering me. It didn’t matter anymore. He reacted like I had expected him to react.
And now. Now I had to move on. I had to put Jake behind me and everything that happened. I had to move on. And one day, when someone asks if I’m OK, I might be able to say I really am fine.
I got up, holding Tyson, turning to face him and then walked past him.
I was done.
But just because I was done didn’t mean he was. I was surprised when he followed me inside.
“You should go, Reaper. Tyson is fine.” I walked through the living room and paused in the hallway. I turned to look at him. “Go. I’m done.”
I didn’t have any more to give. I couldn’t live with him, knowing how disgusted he was. Who knew the one to destroy us would be Jake? I had been sure we would make it.
