by Amy Vansant
Sebastian swirled his index finger like a speeding clock dial in front of Greta’s face.
“All right. Turn around. Eyes front. Safety hazard.”
Greta shifted her neck to the side like a cagey snake and continued addressing Emily. “I sleep in the nude. It was a tight fit.”
Emily saw Sebastian’s jaw clench. “No one cares, Greta. Cut it out.”
Greta smirked and turned away.
Emily’s jaw fell a notch.
Wow.
She looked at Sebastian and whispered. “What did you do to that girl? You’ve driven her crazy.”
He shook his head. “She was like that before me, believe me.”
It felt liberating when Emily first left the bus. From the side of the road, the contestants and Minefield staff walked into the woods that flanked the dirt path. They trudged to a clearing where several odd four-wheeled vehicles with flat-bed backs awaited. The staff sat the contestants on the vehicles and blindfolded them. Before long, the vehicles began to move, and Emily could hear the sound of sticks breaking beneath the tires.
One hand gripping the vehicle and the other wrapped around Sebastian’s arm, Emily bounced for ten minutes before she heard chatter between the staff that the vehicles couldn’t venture further. They’d walk the rest of the way. Still blindfolded, the staffers marched them to their destination, catching them when they stumbled and pushing them on their way when someone complained. They had to have walked for forty minutes before Emily heard what sounded like a helicopter overhead.
They stopped. Emily felt someone fumbling with her blindfold and it slipped away. She blinked, allowing her vision to adjust.
Small, portable spotlights were pointed at Nicole, who stood in the center of a small clearing. Standing with her arms in the air, she looked like a ringmaster about to announce the trapeze artists.
Emily turned to her right to find Sebastian by her side.
“I think Nicole likes being the host a leeetle too much,” he said, snickering.
More camera operators than had been on the bus now circled the clearing, each armed with smaller units than they’d used at the hotel. There was one camera for each couple, plus a few spares. Emily scanned the trees, guessing there were cameras hidden along whatever path they’d be pushed toward. A helicopter roared above them, its downdraft fluttering their clothing.
That’s when Emily noticed Nicole wore a harness. Thin black wires led from her back to the helicopter.
Emily elbowed Sebastian. “She’s tied to the helicopter.”
Sebastian shielded his eyes from the wind. “Is she crazy?”
Someone ran a bullhorn to Nicole and she held it to her lips. “You are deep in the middle of the Maryland forest. Your mission is to escape without triggering any mines. If you trigger one, you’ll be penalized.”
She paused for dramatic effect as explosions boomed and the couples glanced at each other, wondering what triggering a mine really meant.
Sensing everyone was appropriately panicked, Nicole continued. “At your feet you’ll find a bag of supplies. This is all you have to sustain you until you escape. Good luck!”
Nicole flourished as she screamed her farewell wishes. Her feet rose from the ground and she let out a panicked “Whoop!” before dropping the bullhorn and clamoring to grab the wires lifting her into the air. She’d reached about fifteen feet before she remembered to stop thrashing and attempted to pose, a smile frozen to her lips.
Sebastian shook his head. “She might have wanted to give that a test run.”
Emily couldn’t stop laughing at the panicked honk Nicole made during liftoff. “They can’t be paying her enough for this. Why a helicopter? I guess if she drove off we would all just follow her out of the forest?”
Sebastian sucked his teeth with his tongue and nodded. “That’s a good point.”
The contestants stood still, looking at each other and the camera operators, each searching for some sort of guidance. Emily recovered the pack at their feet. It was a nylon bag about a foot high and eight inches wide. She felt a jumble of items inside.
“What’s in there?” asked Sebastian.
Emily pulled out the items. “Water bottles, a little first aid kit, toilet paper—”
Sebastian’s voice raised an octave. “Toilet paper? That means we have to—wait, is it double-ply?”
She shook her head. “Single.”
“Brand?”
“Generic.”
His eyes grew wide. “Do they think we’re animals?”
“Which way should we start?” asked one of the chefs.
Marc pulled Emily and Sebastian away from the others. Kady followed.
Marc leaned into their little group and raised his voice to be heard over the blades. “Stick with me. I’ve seen all the jungle movies.”
Overhead, men were struggling to pull Nicole inside the helicopter, her legs kicking wildly. Emily, Kady and Sebastian couldn’t tear their eyes from the drama unfolding above them. With a final squawk, Nicole disappeared inside the helicopter and it sped off.
“Whew,” said Emily.
Marc stomped his foot. “Did you hear me? I know how to get through jungle traps.”
Kady snorted. “Hey Tarzan, this isn’t a jungle.”
Forest, jungle, same thing.”
Uh oh. Emily closed her eyes. “Now I have the uncontrollable urge to look up the difference between a forest and a jungle and they took our phones. Dammit.”
Marc hushed her. “Sshh, listen. We have to keep an eye out for tripwires. You know there’s got to be tripwires.”
Sebastian nodded. “Sure. There are always tripwires. Where aren’t there tripwires, really?”
Marc clapped him on the back. “Exactly.”
Kady crossed her arms against her chest. “So, Predator, which direction looks less trip-wirey than the others?”
“Chicks. Am I right?” said Marc, elbowing Sebastian.
“Not often, I imagine,” muttered Sebastian.
A few of the other couples had already wandered off. Emily scowled. “Hey—did anyone notice we don’t have a tent or anything? How long is this supposed to take?”
When no one answered, she turned to the cameraman whose attention seemed riveted on them. “How long is this supposed to take?”
He shrugged. “Don’t look at the camera.”
“Do you have a tent? They’re not asking you to sleep in the woods without a tent, are they?”
“Don’t look at the camera,” he repeated.
Emily sighed.
Marc looked into the sky, shielding his eyes and pointing toward the sun. “So that’s east—”
“Up is not east,” said Kady.
“East is toward the sun.”
“The rising sun, and it’s almost three.”
Marc’s jaw clenched as he pointed at the sun. “It is rising, it’s up there.”
Sebastian scratched his arm. “Why would it matter, anyway?”
Marc lowered his gaze. “Huh?”
“What does it matter which direction is which? It’s not like roads or camps or whatever we’re supposed to find are always east or something.”
“It’s just good to know.”
Sebastian slapped his left arm. “Is there bug spray in our pack?”
Emily rifled through it. “No.”
“Great. They probably think being eaten alive by mosquitos makes for good television.”
Emily smirked. “Maybe you can catch up to Greta and crawl into her sleeping bag for protection.”
He squinted at her with amused perturbance. “Don’t you start.”
The last of the other couples wandered away, leaving the four of them the only people who hadn’t chosen a direction.
Emily put her hands on her hips. “I think we’re officially losing.”
“I’m going to fan out. I’ll get a quick lay of the land and report back.” Marc clapped his hands together and jogged off.
“I’ll come with y
ou,” said Kady.
Marc made a vague military-type hand gesture and ran into the woods with Kady on his heels.
Sebastian wrapped his hand behind him to scratch his back. “Did he just say he was going to fan out by himself?”
Emily nodded. “He did. I believe he can do it, too.”
“How did you guys end up friends again?”
“I made his dad’s website.”
“But you dated?”
“No. The thought may have crossed our minds for a second, but we were better at being friends. Anyway, I had a crush on you, remember?”
“Well, now that I’ve met my competition, I have to say I’m not as impressed with myself for winning you over.” He wandered to the left and peered into the trees. “I think I see a trail.”
“Should we wait for them?”
“Let’s check it out and then come right back.”
With nothing else to do, they agreed to explore. They’d walked the overgrown trail for less than a minute when Sebastian grabbed Emily’s arm. “Wait.”
“What?”
“Did you see that?”
“What?”
“It’s like a moose or something.”
Emily laughed. “A moose? There are no moose in Maryland.”
“I’m pretty sure that’s meeses.”
Emily opened her mouth to correct Sebastian and then stopped. He was doing it on purpose. She wasn’t falling for his bait anymore. She cleared her throat.
“Right.”
Sebastian stepped to the left and pointed through the trees as if he’d just spotted Godzilla.
Emily peered down the trail, which she’d already decided was less of a trail and more of a space between trees.
A deer stood in the distance, staring at her, motionless as a statue.
“That’s a deer,” she said.
“Are you sure? It’s huge.”
“I suppose it could be a ninja stealth moose, disguised as a deer.”
“Hm. Maybe. I know it looks like a deer, but I’m telling you, this one isn’t right.”
She scratched her arm where something had bitten her. “You know, I thought I was terrible in the woods, but you take it to a whole new level. If you were in Rambo the movie would be five minutes long.”
“True. For many different reasons. For one, I couldn’t pull off the headband.”
Emily took a step toward the deer expecting it to run. Instead, it took a step toward her.
“Uh oh. That wasn’t right.” She stepped back beside Sebastian.
“See? I told you. Something is wrong with that thing,” he whispered.
“It does seem to have a lot of attitude for a deer.”
“Maybe a hunter killed his mom, like Bambi. We might be the first to die in Bambi: The Revenge.” Sebastian looked back at the cameraman. “Do you know if they’re actually shooting a horror movie?”
“Don’t look at the camera.”
“Right.”
Emily tapped his arm. “Do you think it’s part of the competition?”
He hooked his mouth to the side. “The deer? Like we have to wrestle a deer to win? I can’t do that. He’s all in my head now. I don’t know what he’s up to.”
“He’s just staring at us.”
“I know.” Sebastian peered into the trees around them. “I hope his buddies aren’t surrounding us as we speak.”
“Keep your eyes forward. Don’t look away or that cloven-hoofed killing machine will get the drop on us.”
Sebastian took a deep breath, raised himself to his full height and snapped out his long arms as if they were a sheet fresh out of the dryer.
“Shoo...”
The deer cocked his head and Sebastian grimaced.
“So that didn’t work.”
Emily shook her head. “Do deer tilt their heads like that? Or was that his deer disguise shifting?”
“I told you he’s really a moose. Problem is, if we see his real identity he’ll have to kill us.”
“Do it again.”
Sebastian took a step forward and waved his hands in the air. “Shoo.”
The deer turned, flashing them his fluffy white butt, and glanced over his shoulder as if to say, Yeah, I have some place to be anyway. You’re lucky. This time. It was a lot for a tail to say, but somehow it managed.
The deer leaped away. As he did, two females appeared from nowhere, bolting after him.
Startled to see the does appear, Emily gasped. “I didn’t even see those two.”
“They were surrounding us. Remember that for next time.”
“I guess he was protecting the does. That’s why he didn’t run.”
“I guess.”
Marc appeared, bounding around the corner as if he were a deer. “Hey, there you are. What are you doing out here?”
“We were looking for a path and there was a moose disguised as a deer. Long story. Did you find something?” asked Emily.
“Not anything that looked like a path,” said Kady, arriving with their cameraman shadowing. She was sweaty, her curly hair growing increasingly frizzy as the day wore on.
“We found a sign saying we were headed the wrong way, so they must be trying to lead us all in the same direction.”
“What sort of sign? Like an angry totem pole or like a cairn?” asked Emily.
Mark scowled. “What’s a cairn?”
“An artful pile of rocks that means something.”
“Oh. No. We found an actual sign. With lettering that said, Wrong Way.”
Emily frowned. “Oh. That’s not terribly subtle. They didn’t put much effort into that.”
Sebastian patted her on the shoulder. “I’m pretty sure they put all their resources into the helicopter.”
Marc pointed in the direction the deer had run. “This looks like a trail. An old one. It’d probably be a good idea to try it.”
Emily shrugged. “As good a direction as any. Everyone else must be back at the hotel having a pina colada by now.”
Kady flopped against a tree. “Ohmygod that sounds so good.”
“Okay, let’s go. I’ll lead the way.” Marc strode past them, heading in the direction they’d seen the deer escape.
“Should we warn him about the ninja stealth moose?” Sebastian whispered to Emily as they fell into pace behind Marc.
She shook her head. “Nah. He’ll need to learn on his own.”
Chapter Eleven
The six of them—two couples and two cameramen—made their way down the deer trail until Marc stopped and held up a fist, his elbow bent so his hand hit eye level. Emily recognized the gesture from the terrible war movies she’d watched with Marc during their friends-without-benefits period. The gesture meant stop. She considered the possibility that those unbearable movies had finally come in handy.
The others stopped, except for Kady, who’d been watching a squirrel. She smacked into the back of Marc and he stumbled, fighting to keep them both upright.
Steadied, Kady flashed a sheepish smile and attempted to pull her hair into a ponytail for the fiftieth time. No matter what she tried, unruly, kinky strands sprang from her elastic trap.
“Sorry. Why’d you stop?” she asked.
Marc pointed to the ground several feet in front of him. “Tripwire. Be careful.”
Sebastian studied at the string stretched across their path. “Hm. There really are tripwires.”
Emily traced the string’s path to a tree. Beside the tree sat an unusual square structure, as if someone had constructed a blind with sticks and leaves.
Sebastian joined her to examine a contraption hidden behind the blind.
“Kind of looks like a gun turret,” said Emily.
Sebastian nodded. “Definitely. Looks like it shoots something at us. Like paint balls maybe.”
Kady clapped Marc on the shoulder. “Nice job, scout.”
He shrugged, clearly pleased with himself. “It’s what I do.”
Emily arched an eyebrow. “I thought yo
u stocked car parts.”
“That doesn’t mean I don’t have forest skills.”
They walked for another hour, pushing aside branches as the path became less and less defined. Emily realized deer spent most of their day completely lost. No wonder the deer they’d spotted seemed so cranky.
“What’s that?” asked Kady, pointing through the trees ahead of them.
Emily prayed she’d spotted the finish line. Any charm the woods held when they began had long since dissipated. She felt as if her skin had been replaced by a mesh of dirt and pine needles. She had to force herself not to itch. Camping had never been her thing, and after this adventure, she felt confident it never would be.
Following Kady’s gesture, she spotted a bright red lump on the ground. It didn’t look like a finish line. “It kind of looks like—”
“A tent. It looks like a tent,” yelped Kady, breaking into a trot.
“Wait,” called Marc.
It was too late. Kady’s foot hit a tripwire and the trees on either side of her exploded with activity. Blue objects pelted her from both sides. The rest of them threw up their hands and jerked back to protect themselves.
When the barrage ended, Kady looked as if she’d broken out in Smurf-blue hives. A sign on a string dropped from one of the trees.
“Are you okay?” asked Emily, hoping Kady wouldn’t notice she’d kept her distance during the worst of the attack.
Kady turned her body in Emily’s direction. “Ow.”
Sebastian grabbed and read the swinging sign. “You and your team has incurred a penalty. This penalty will be assessed at the end of the game.”
“I told you to stay behind me,” said Marc, raising his arms only to let them slap loudly to his sides.
Kady squinted. “I’m sorry, I just got so excited when I saw the tent.”
“It was a trap.”
“Yeah, I get that now.”
They double-checked for more tripwires before picking their way to the red popup tent. Another sign awaited them there.
“What’s that one say?” asked Emily as Sebastian approached the sign.
“You want me to read this one, too?” He motioned to the cameras. “I don’t want to look like a showoff with all these reading skills.”
“No, it’s okay. Go for it.”
He cleared his throat. “The finish line is ten miles away. Camp here. If you choose to use the tent, and your flag is stolen by another team, you will incur a penalty. You must leave the flag on the tent all night.”
