Jayden's eyebrows lifted. “You know that by heart?”
Angie nodded. “Yep. Sunday School classes.”
As Jayden continued staring at the night sky, questions triggered by the earlier conversation floated through his mind. Eventually he turned and looked at Angie. “Can I ask you a question?”
Angie turned her head. “Sure.”
“Who made God?”
Angie’s brows furrowed and then she chuckled. “No one, silly. He’s always been. He’s God.” The look on her face made him laugh. Her faith was so simple.
“Mmm… that’s what I was starting to think.”
“You can have a chat with Dad or Pastor Graham if you want. They know more than me.”
Jayden shrugged. “Maybe later.”
“Okay.” She settled back in his arms before sitting with a start. “Jayden, you do know God loves you, don’t you? He’s not just up there, He can be in here, too.” She placed her hand on her chest, her brows wrinkling as she held his gaze.
Here goes…he drew in a breath. She was going to pressure him. “I’m not sure how all that works, Ange.”
“Do you want to know?” She angled her head.
Jayden shrugged again. He kind of did, but he wasn’t ready. “I guess so. But not now.”
“Okay.” She smiled at him and then rested her head back against his chest.
Jayden looked back at the sky. The stars appeared brighter, as if they were shining down on him. His heart quickened. Maybe it’s God sending a message.
After everyone left, Jayden and Angie helped her parents clean up, and once the kitchen was tidy again, they sat around the kitchen table with mugs of hot chocolate. Jessica had gone to bed, but Simon was still up.
“Did you have a good day, Jayden?” Mrs. Morgan pulled out a chair and joined them.
“Yes, I did. Thank you.” He gave her a warm smile. She really was the best mom anyone could have.
“Our pleasure, Jayden. We thought you might like having some young folk around for your birthday.” Mrs. Morgan’s face grew serious. “You must be missing your friends and family back home.”
Jayden let out a sigh. The only real friend he had back home was Neil, but they’d lost touch of late. Neil had taken up with another group at school, and besides, they had nothing in common anymore. Neil was still a school kid, and had no idea about working to support himself. But Dad and Tessa? Yes, if he were honest, he was missing them more as each day passed, and he still got a lump in his throat whenever he thought about how he’d treated them.
He stared at the froth sitting on top of his hot chocolate and toyed with his mug before looking up and meeting Mrs. Morgan’s soft eyes. “Yeah, a bit.” His voice choked. Maybe it was the whole emotional bit with Mom, and then the horse ride, and then telling Angie he loved her, followed by the discussion about God, but whatever it was, all of a sudden Jayden’s cheeks grew warm. A lump formed in his throat as burning pain clutched his heart. Within moments, tears stung his eyes and then rolled down his cheeks.
Angie leaned closer and squeezed his hand. Mrs. Morgan jumped up and wrapped her arms around him.
“It’s okay, son. It’s perfectly understandable.” Mr. Morgan slid a box of tissues across the table.
Jayden sniffed and tried to stop his tears. His chest heaved as he sucked in some quick breaths.
Simon stared at him across the table, his eyes wide, as if he didn’t believe that a seventeen-year-old boy would let himself cry in front of his girlfriend’s parents.
“I’m sorry…” Jayden sniffed again and swallowed hard, “it just all got to me.” He squeezed his eyes tight and tried desperately to control himself. How could this have happened? And in front of Simon, of all people.
Mrs. Morgan gave him another squeeze. “You can talk about it if you want, Jayden, but it’s okay if you don’t.”
Jayden nodded. “Thanks.” His voice was croaky and broken. “Give me a minute.”
“No problem, there’s no hurry.” Mrs. Morgan smiled at him and then took her seat again.
“Thank you.” He gave her the best smile he could manage.
The tick from the clock on the far wall seemed louder all of a sudden. Ten o’clock. It’d be Sunday afternoon back home. Jayden’s pulse quickened. Maybe I should call Dad? It’d been almost a year since he’d left, and he hadn’t spoken to Dad or Tessa in all that time. His stomach tightened. Could he do it? He let out a slow sigh, his shoulders sagging. No…
“Would you like us to pray for you, son?” Mr. Morgan leaned forward, his folded arms resting on the table. His eyes were warm, just like Angie’s.
Jayden took a deep breath but his heart beat faster. Somehow he would like Mr. Morgan to pray for him. Nodding, he pushed back a fresh round of tears.
Mr. and Mrs. Morgan both stood and walked around the table, placing their hands lightly on his shoulders. Angie reached for his hand and turned to face him. Simon remained seated, shifting uneasily in his chair.
Something unfamiliar fluttered inside Jayden’s heart.
“Let’s pray.” Mr. Morgan’s voice was warm and reassuring. “Lord God, we bring Jayden to You tonight. Such a special young man who’s been through so much. He’s hurting, Lord, but we know You can give him new life and new hope, and that You can heal all the hurts and disappointments in his life. Lord, we pray he’ll open his heart to You, and welcome You in. Reveal Yourself to him, dear Lord, that he might see You and know that You’re not only real, but that You love him more than anything.”
Mrs. Morgan took over. “And we also pray, dear Lord, for reconciliation between Jayden and his family, especially with his dad and step-mom. I can’t even imagine how they must be feeling, so I pray You’ll comfort them and give them hope that one day soon they’ll be reunited.” Her voice choked, and she paused for a moment. She swallowed hard. The only sound, apart from Jayden’s beating heart, was the ticking of the clock. “And dear Lord, we also pray for Jayden’s mother. Lord, no-one’s beyond your help, so we pray for her, that she might start looking beyond herself and reach out to You, and that one day she might also come to know You as her Personal Lord and Savior. Knock on the door of her heart, Lord, just as You’ve been knocking on Jayden’s. Thank You dear Lord, in Jesus’ precious name, Amen.”
Jayden tried to control his emotions. His heart felt constricted, as if something had clutched it and weighed it down. He could barely breathe. Angie squeezed his hand again. Mr. and Mrs. Morgan stood behind him with their hands still on his shoulders. He thought he’d feel better after being prayed for, but he felt worse, as if something inside him was fighting.
“Are you okay, Jayden?” Angie leaned closer, her head touching his.
Jayden lifted his head slowly and turned his face. “I…I think so. I just need to go to bed.”
“Good idea, son.” Mr. Morgan patted Jayden's back gently.
Jayden forced a smile and nodded as he stood slowly.
“Sleep well, Jayden.” Mrs. Morgan wrapped her arms around him again, pulling him tight.
All Jayden could manage was a small smile. He just wanted to bury his head in his pillow and cry.
Angie walked with him to his room. When they reached the door, she looked up and gazed into his eyes. “Jayden, remember that God’s not just up there,” she raised her eyes to the ceiling, “but He can be in here, too.” She placed her hand on her chest. “He loves you, Jayden.”
Jayden nodded slowly. For a long moment he held her gaze. He didn’t trust himself to speak. He just needed to be on his own.
Angie stretched up and placed a kiss on his cheek, and for once, he was happy with that. “Good night, Jayden. See you in the morning.”
He pulled her close, holding her tight for a short moment before releasing her. He gulped and cleared his throat. “Thanks, Angie.” His voice croaked. “It’s been a great day.” He squeezed back fresh tears as she smiled at him and turned to walk away.
Jayden entered his room and closed the door. S
itting on his bed, he held his head in his hands. If only the noise would stop. His chest heaved. He had to know if what Angie had said was true. Could God really live in his heart?
He gulped and tried to settle his thoughts. All along he’d determined not to get caught up with emotion, and it annoyed him that he’d let his guard down. Right now his heart felt raw, vulnerable. How could he know for sure if it was just emotion he was feeling, or if God really was trying to get through to him?
After several more moments, Jayden raised his head and inhaled slowly. Sitting on the shelf beside his bed, an old, well-used Bible caught his attention. He reached for it and flipped it open. So many pages; so many words. He needed more than the verses he’d been reading about God. He needed to discover how to know God.
A few scrap pieces of paper, like bookmarks, poked out of the Bible. Jayden flicked to the first one and read the verse in Isaiah Chapter 55 that someone had highlighted. 'Seek the Lord while He may be found; call on Him while he is near.'
Jayden’s heart quickened. But how do you find Him? He flicked to the next bookmarked page and found another verse highlighted; Jeremiah chapter 29, verses 11 to 14: '“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity.”'
The answer was clear. He had to seek God with all his heart. He closed the Bible and knelt beside his bed, something he hadn’t done for many years. He drew a long, slow breath and closed his eyes. A longing deep within him welled up and spilled out in the form of tears. He really didn’t need to say anything, but eventually he managed a few words. His voice was little more than a whisper. “God, please show me how I can know You. Please show me the way.”
Chapter 10
With so much on his mind and his heart, Jayden hadn’t expected to sleep the night of his birthday, so when the first rays of sunlight stole through the window the following morning, he blinked. Sunday morning, and he didn’t need to go to work. And he was at Angie’s place. Even better. But then the events of the night before flashed through his mind. Had he really broken down in front of Angie’s entire family? A heaviness grew in his chest. How could he face them this morning? Especially Simon. He needed to see Angie.
Although tempted to stay in bed and hide, Jayden eventually climbed out and dressed in jeans and a T-shirt. He walked quietly towards the kitchen, his shoulders falling as he peeked in. Mrs. Morgan and Jessica were seated at the table, their heads close together, talking quietly.
He backed up slowly. Maybe they hadn’t seen him. He turned and inched along the hallway to a side door, which he opened very quietly, and snuck outside. He shivered as the door clicked behind him. The sun hadn’t yet warmed the air, but its rays, filtering through the trees in the distance, promised another lovely day ahead. Maybe a walk would do him good. Get his mind sorted. But as he stood, drawing in the crisp country air, the sound of cows mooing reached his ears from the barn to the left of the ranch.
Jayden wandered over to the barn and peeked in. Mr. Morgan was perched on a stool, milking one of the three cows by hand.
Jayden ducked, but Mr. Morgan had glanced up and had seen him. Jayden gritted his teeth.
Mr. Morgan waved to him. “Come in, son. Come and see how it’s done.”
Jayden sighed. He had no choice. Wrinkling his nose at the smell of fresh cow dung, he carefully made his way to the stall where Mr. Morgan sat. Apart from the three cows, a large mother pig with numerous piglets also resided in the barn. He gagged at the stench. He should have given the barn a wide berth.
“Ever milked a cow?” Mr. Morgan looked up but continued squirting milk from the cow’s teats into the metal bucket without missing a beat.
Jayden shook his head.
“It’s not as hard as it looks. Would you like to try?”
Jayden crossed his arms, and angling his head, studied Mr. Morgan’s action. It didn’t look that hard. He shrugged. “Okay.”
“Pull up a stool and I’ll get you started.”
Jayden grabbed a stool from the side and sat beside Mr. Morgan. The cow seemed so much bigger now he was perched beside her. She turned her head as if she was checking him out.
“Her name’s Betsy.” Mr. Morgan gave her side a gentle rub.
Betsy turned her head back to the feed trough and resumed eating.
“It’s not hard, you just need to get a rhythm going. Put your hand around the teat like this.” Mr. Morgan squeezed the tips of his thumb and forefinger together, making a circle, before slipping his hand around one of Betsy’s teats.
Jayden copied him, but just in the air.
“Then squeeze gently on the teat, pulling down at the same time. Like this.”
Jayden leaned forward and watched intently. It looked easy.
“Okay, your turn.” Mr. Morgan grinned at Jayden as he shifted to the side and motioned for Jayden to take his place.
Jayden hooked his feet around the legs of the stool, took a deep breath, and placed his hand around one of Betsy’s teats like he’d been shown. He wasn’t expecting it to be so warm and firm. He glanced at Mr. Morgan and pulled a face. “It feels strange.”
“I guess it does.” Mr. Morgan laughed. “Okay, now squeeze gently and pull down.”
Jayden did what he was told, but nothing came out. He tried again. Still nothing. “What am I doing wrong?” He glanced at Mr. Morgan.
“Nothing. Just get a rolling action going. Nice and steady. You’ll get a feel for it.”
Jayden drew another breath and started again. He could do this. How hard could it be? This time a squirt came out and he laughed.
“That’s it, you’ve got it.” Mr. Morgan patted him on the back. “You’re a natural, Jayden.”
A proud grin grew on Jayden’s face as the bucket began to fill.
“Now try both hands.”
“Okay.” Jayden shifted on the stool to get a better position, and then placed his right hand on one teat, getting that going before starting with his left hand. Mr. Morgan was right—it didn’t take long to get a rhythm going.
“You’re doing great.”
Jayden’s mouth curved into a smile, but when a flash of red hair caught his eye, he stiffened. Angie was watching him, but he didn’t stop. He took some quick breaths and then focused on Betsy, but he couldn’t help the occasional glance at Angie.
She stepped closer and crossed her arms as she leaned on a railing, an amused grin growing on her face. “Anyone would think you’ve done this before!”
“He’s doing well, isn’t he?” Mr. Morgan stood and leaned on the rail beside her.
“Yes, he is. A natural.”
Jayden’s heart swelled. Maybe he should go back to school and work towards becoming a vet sooner rather than later. But as an image of Tessa flashed through his mind, he lost his rhythm and the milk stopped flowing. He let out a heavy sigh and hung his head.
Mr. Morgan placed his hand on Jayden’s shoulder. “It’s okay, son. You did well. I can finish her off.”
Jayden stood and moved aside, allowing Mr. Morgan to take over.
Angie held out her hand. Her face had grown serious. “Come for a walk?”
Jayden nodded and took her hand. Stepping out of the barn, he sucked in the fresh air and tried to steady his thoughts.
“What’s up, Jayden?” Angie angled her head towards him.
He shrugged. “Just a lot going on in my head, that’s all.”
“Want to talk about it?”
“Maybe.” He should tell Angie what he’d prayed last night. She’d understand. In fact, she’d be happy he was seeking God. But he wasn’t quite ready.
They walked in silence for a good ten minutes. Jayden didn’t even know where they were heading, he just walked without taking notice o
f his surroundings, lost in thought. Inside him, everything was a jumble and his head felt like it was about to explode.
When they reached the edge of a small stream, Angie suggested they sit on a log.
Jayden stared at the crystal clear water flowing slowly downstream. In this lovely, peaceful place, he should have been relaxed and happy, but both his heart and mind were heavy. If only he could run away with Angie and hide from the world.
“Would it help to talk now?”
Jayden lifted his head and met Angie’s gaze. Her eyes were soft and caring, just like her voice. He drew in a breath. Yes, it was time—he needed to talk. He nodded.
“God’s working on you, Jayden, I can sense it.”
Jayden’s heart pounded. “I…I told God last night I want to know Him, but I feel so mixed up.”
A huge smile grew on Angie’s face. “Jayden, that’s wonderful. That’s what’s happening to you. God’s working on you, but there’s a battle going on inside you. Satan doesn’t want to let God have you.”
Jayden’s brows puckered. “Is Satan real?”
Angie nodded, her expression growing serious. “You bet. There’s a spiritual battle going on inside you right now. That’s what it feels like, isn’t it? A battleground?”
Jayden nodded. That’s exactly what it was like.
“If you ask Jesus into your life, you’ll have God on your side, and he’ll have won the battle.” Angie paused, her gaze steady. “Would you like to do that?”
No, he wasn’t ready. He still didn’t know what it all meant. “I need to know more, Angie.”
“That’s okay, but don’t put it off too long, Jayden. You’ll never know everything this side of heaven—at some stage you just have to ask God into your heart.”
He tried to smile. “I won’t, Angie. I promise.”
Later that morning, sitting in church beside Angie and her family, Jayden listened to the message with an open heart and allowed the words of the worship songs to minister to him. When Pastor Graham offered an altar call at the end of the service, his heart quickened. This was it. Like Angie said, he’d never know everything, but he knew enough. He knew in his heart that God was real, and that God loved him enough to send His only Son to die for him so that he could have new life. That’s all he needed to know.
Triumphant Love: A Christian Romance (The True Love Series Book 4) Page 7
