by Nicola Haken
“I just want to be what you deserve.”
And right now, I’m not.
“You already are.”
I didn’t reply because I couldn’t agree with him. Instead, I leaned my head against the cool glass window of the car and stared out of the window, absorbing the beautiful Australian scenery with my eyes. When we reached the hotel I shrugged on my jacket, despite already sweating from the heat. The leather would hide any tattoos that might make me recognisable. Slipping my sunglasses on, I kept my head down as we walked into the hotel. Jake dealt with check-in and then we made our way up to our room alone, with no one giving us a second glance.
There were champagne and strawberries waiting for us in the room, sitting proudly in a silver ice bucket on the walnut table next to the king sized bed.
“Did you arrange these?” I asked, swirling my finger around the rim of one of the champagne flutes.
“Yes,” he confirmed. Closing the space between us, he wrapped his arms around my waist, resting his forehead against mine. “I’ve missed you. You’ve been by my side for days but you couldn’t have been further away. I need you, Sawyer. I need to hold you, feel you, love you.”
“God, I’ve missed you too,” I moaned into his mouth. I teased his lips with my tongue, our chins grazing each other’s as I angled my head to the side. “So fucking much.”
As my dick started to swell all traces of tenderness disappeared, replaced by some kind of pure animalistic urge. I didn’t want savouring or teasing. I wanted fucking. Hard. Now. Popping open the buttons down Jake’s crisp white shirt, I pushed him back until he fell onto the mattress. He smiled up at me with pure hunger in his eyes and I bit my lip, working his zipper. Jake arched his ass off the bed while I tugged his pants down and the second his hard cock sprung free I leaned down to kiss the swollen head.
“Oh fuck, Sawyer,” he groaned, fisting the sheets. I drew him into my mouth, moving my lips up and down along his shaft and tracing his thick veins with my tongue. I released him just long enough to pull my t-shirt over my head, then I sucked him again while I shuffled out of my jeans, throwing them to the floor. “Climb on top of me, baby,” Jake said. “And turn around.”
I did as he asked, straddling his glorious body, my greedy mouth hovering just above his dick and my ass right up in his face. Propping myself up on one arm, I moistened my lips and went back for more, massaging his balls with my free hand. Jake grabbed at my ass cheeks, separating them and exposing my hole.
“You have the most perfect arse.” Jake slapped my ass cheeks, causing a throaty groan to leave my mouth, vibrating against his dick. Then he ran his lips over the tender flesh, making his way between my cheeks and rimming me to the point I wanted to scream. “Tastes good too.”
He dipped his tongue in and out a couple of times before replacing it with two fingers. His cock never left my mouth as he pushed inside, my hips bucking to meet his gentle thrusts.
“Holy shit, Jake.” I freed my mouth of his hard dick so I could take a deep breath. His fingers started to pump in and out of me deeper and faster and I met his rhythm with my hand around his thick cock. “Oh, yeah…yeah…fuck.”
“Sit on me, Sawyer. Lower yourself down onto my dick.”
Feeling slightly apprehensive about trying a new position, unsure if I’d be able to do it ‘right’, I gave the tip of his cock one last kiss before turning around to face him. I noticed a bottle of lube and a condom ready and waiting in his hand and I couldn’t help grin at the devilish wink he gave me. He went to open the packet but I ticked my finger from side to side.
“Let me do it.” I was straddling him, staring into his eyes – the eyes that took me away from everything, made me think of nothing but him. Pinching the tip of the condom, I rolled it over his throbbing erection. Holding onto my thighs, he tipped his head back, moaning into the air. Next I took the lube, squeezing a generous amount into my palm before massaging it over his dick. I used my fingers to wipe the excess over my ass hole and then I leaned forward, chest to chest, and kissed along his neck.
“I need you so badly right now,” I murmured into his ear before gently nipping his lobe with my teeth.
“Then take me.”
I reached behind myself, taking hold of his thick cock and guiding it into my ass. A hiss of pleasure burst from my throat as I lowered myself down, closing my eyes as I adjusted to the fullness. The mixture of pleasure and pain when he entered me was intoxicating and I opened my eyes, locking them onto his.
“Take your time, baby. Nice and slow.” Gripping Jake’s shoulders for support, I moved myself up and down slowly, enjoying the feel of him stretching me. His hands reached forwards, smoothing over my abs and he sighed in appreciation. “You’re so beautiful, Sawyer.”
A light mist of sweat coated his firm chest as his breath began to come in short, fast pants. I leaned down, licking the contours of his muscles and smattering kisses along his damp chest. My ass started to ache, pulsate around him, silently begging me to take him deeper. So I did. I tucked one hand behind his neck and started moving faster, higher and lower.
“Oh fuck, yes,” he ground out through gritted teeth. He took the hand that was pressing onto my chest and moved it towards my cock. It was wet, glistening, and he started pumping it up and down, making me writhe. “Jesus, baby…”
“Holy…fuck,” I hissed as he worked his hand on my cock in time with the rhythm I was riding him. “You feel so good in my ass, Jake. So. Fucking. Good.”
The air was filled with breathy pants and moans. Fuck this was a good position to be in. I could take him as hard and deep as I wanted, and man did I make the most of it. I slammed down on him hard, my ass cheeks hitting his thighs. His fingers tightened their grip around my cock and he bucked his hips, thrusting himself deeper into me.
“I’m almost there, baby,” he whimpered. “Don’t fucking stop.”
“I’m right behind you,” I said breathlessly, feeling my balls tighten. “You’re fucking amazing.”
My orgasm was building quickly and my legs stated to tremble. Sensing my release, Jake took over, thrusting into my ass from beneath me. I held tightly onto his neck, bringing him up to me while he jacked me off with his hand. My dick pulsated against his fingers and I cried out his name as he pounded me harder.
“Oh, FUCK, Jake!” Powerful spurts of cum came shooting from my cock, hitting the base of his throat. It seemed to tip him over the edge, and he juddered below me, before milking himself completely with three more smooth, deep thrusts.
I collapsed onto his chest, his dick still inside me, and he tenderly stroked up and down my back with his fingers.
“You’re getting good at taking it,” he complemented with a wicked smile.
“Maybe because you’re so good at giving it.”
“Let’s get cleaned up and drink this champagne before it gets warm,” he suggested, sweeping my rogue fringe from my eyes.
“Sounds like a plan,” I agreed, gripping the base of his cock while I pulled myself off him, rolling onto my side. “And then, it’s my turn to fuck you.”
“Deal.”
Chapter Sixteen
Neil and I had gathered the guys in Darren’s hotel room. Claire arrived late last night, complete with a plan I wasn’t at all happy with. Laurelin was apparently following on her own and was due here this morning.
“Okay, guys, we have a gig tonight.” And there it was. What a stupid and irresponsible idea given what was going on right now. I sighed and crossed my arms.
“Thought they were cancelled,” Gavin said.
“We’ve reinstated tonight’s show at the ANZ Stadium. We’ve heard nothing back from whoever was sending the threats, the police have come up with nothing and we have no reason to believe they would be out here in Australia. I think they’ve finally got bored and moved on.”
“Arsonists aren’t the type to get bored, Claire,” I repeated for what must’ve been the thousandth time.
“Well we can’t c
ancel again. Have you any idea how much effort it took, how many strings I had to pull to get this all back in place? Not to mention how pissed the fans would be if we cancelled again. It’s happening. Rehearsals and sound check start in two hours.”
“I want it noting that I am not happy about this.”
“Yes, I think we’ve established that, Jake,” Claire muttered acerbically. “But you don’t need to be happy, you just need to do your job and keep the guys safe. We’ve managed to vet three of the new additions to your team. They flew in with me last night. You’ll be meeting them after breakfast. That should give you enough time to get a plan together.” I was seething, the blood simmering so hot in my veins my neck began to burn. “Right, guys, if you don’t have any questions I’m going to pick Laurelin up from the airport.”
Sawyer dismissed her with his hand, seeming as flabbergasted with the idea as I was. Although, he seemed to accept it better than me. I planned to go and see my parents today, seeing as I didn’t know how long we’d be here and wanted to make the most of being close to them. Guess I would have to rearrange now.
“Hey, Daz, you okay?” Sawyer asking, turning to Darren who had been slumped backwards in the leather recliner with his hand over his face since we got here. “You’ve been lookin’ kinda green this morning, dude.”
“Dana’s pregnant,” he revealed, his voice literally shaking.
“Holy fuck, man. What the hell are you gonna do?” Matt asked.
“She wants to keep it. But seriously, guys, how the fuck am I gonna raise a baby on the road all the damn time? The whole thing is a fucking mess.”
“See, Saw,” Matt began, cutting himself off by laughing. “Ha! See what I did there? See, Saw – seesaw. Fuck I’m funny.”
“Christ,” Sawyer mumbled under his breath, clearly as un-amused as the rest of us.
“Anyway, this is why you and I got the right idea. Never get tied down. There are too many different flavours of pussy to stick to just one. Right, Saw?”
“Be serious, Matt. The guy’s fucking struggling.”
“I was being serious,” Matt muttered to himself, shrugging.
“It’ll be okay, man. You’re not the first rocker to have a baby. There’s always a way around stuff. We’re here for you, dude. Does Claire know?”
“Oh fuck,” Darren groaned. “Haven’t even thought about what she’s gonna make of this. Not to mention Phil.”
“You’re allowed a personal life, dude. They can’t have a problem with it.”
I gave Sawyer a sideways glance when no one was looking, wishing he could take his own advice as easily.
“Sawyer’s right,” I said. “You’re entitled a life outside this band. They’ll just have to work around you.”
“Thanks, guys. It’s just a shock, I guess.”
“Right, it seems I’ve got plans to put in place so I’ll be off,” I announced. “I’ll probably head on straight to the stadium after meeting the new recruits. I’ll send Neil and Pete to fetch you later.”
“Sure, mate,” Isaac said first. The other’s nodded and offered a series of ‘see ya’s’ and ‘byes’.
The new members of my team seemed like decent enough men. They were experienced, professional and took orders well. But they didn’t know the guys or how we worked things and that didn’t sit well with me. Having no other choice however, I sucked it up, issuing them with a floor plan for the stadium marked with their positions for the night. I placed myself backstage, guarding the back exits. I couldn’t risk the stage being in view, Sawyer would inevitably distract me.
My new team and I carried out my usual pre-show procedures, scouring the perimeter and inside of the buildings housing the conference and event rooms, and going through the schedule with the staff. The fact this was an outdoor venue made the whole idea even worse. I had less control in an environment such as this one than I would have in an enclosed building, and even then it was relatively limited. I called my parents, not mentioning that I originally planned to visit today. My mum would only be disappointed or concerned about the reason for the sudden change in plans.
The heat was intense today, so I removed my black tie and unpopped the two top buttons on my shirt on the way to meet the guy’s stylists. They were the usual team we used when in Sydney apparently, but of course I hadn’t met them yet and I needed to know everyone who would have access to the band tonight.
Mal, one of the new security members, met me outside when the guys were on their way. To my surprise, Laurelin arrived first, carrying a pizza.
“Sawyer asked me to meet him here with lunch,” she explained, strolling past me and into the building behind us. See? Glorified servant.
The guys arrived seconds later, accompanied by Neil and Claire. Claire’s arms were weighed down with various files and folders. I didn’t know what they were, and the gentlemanly thing would’ve been to relieve her of some of the weight, but I was too pissed off with her so I let her struggle.
“Hey, Jake,” Sawyer called, letting the other guys head on inside in front of us. I stopped in my tracks, turning to look at him. “You’re positioned by the stage tonight right?”
“No. I’ll be guarding the exits.”
“I need you out front.”
“That’s not a good idea, Sawyer. I can’t do my job effectively if I can’t stop staring at you.”
“Please,” he said, his caramel eyes smouldering and making it increasingly difficult for me to resist.
“Why?”
“Just… be there. At the end of the show at least.”
“I’ll see what I can do,” I agreed reluctantly, unable to refuse him. Damn those eyes of his.
I stayed out of sight and earshot while the guys rehearsed. I needed to keep myself in check and that was impossible with Sawyer around. I fixed it with Mal that we would swap positions for the last half an hour of the show. I didn’t give him a reason because I didn’t technically have one. One of the perks of being in charge however, is that they do whatever I say, no questions.
Neil and I, supplemented with additional stadium security controlled the crowd as they made their way through the gates and to their seats. I’d made a conscious effort to stay out of Sawyer’s way, but still my mind kept wandering to what he might be wearing. I imagined, as usual when he’s on stage, he’d be donning ripped jeans and a tight-fitting t-shirt that clung to his tattooed biceps. The thought alone was sending my body haywire and it only confirmed the fact I was better off keeping to the back of the stage. It was going to be hard enough being able to hear that delicious and compelling voice of his through the speakers.
The show appeared to be going by without a hitch, but I wouldn’t relax until all five guys were back at the hotel. As rearranged, Mal and I swapped positions for the last three songs of the set. I stood in front of the stage, just off to the left in front of the barriers. The Australian heat mixed with the floodlights coming from above made me uncomfortable and I mopped my brow with a tissue from my suit pocket, looking forward to getting in the car and being able to shrug out of my jacket.
The set came to a close, and when the encore did too I started to wonder why Sawyer wanted me to stand here. Until he spoke…
“Okay, guys,” he called to the crowd. “I have something new I want to play for you all. I only wrote it last week so you guys are the first to hear it.” The crowd went crazy – screaming, cheering and stamping their feet. “Hope you enjoy it.”
The rest of the guys, apart from Isaac, looked at each other with a confused look on their faces. Then Sawyer nodded in Isaac’s direction and when he hovered his fingers over the keyboard, ready to play, I knew he was a part of whatever was about to happen. Closing his eyes, Sawyer started strumming his long fingers against the strings of his guitar. The intro was slow, seductive almost, and then came the most precious sound in the world.
He started singing.
I pushed you aside so I could live my life,
But without you isn’t living
, I have been so blind
I’m trying to find the words I know you want to hear,
But the truth is, I’m still drowning in a giant pool of fear
It’s taken so long and I’m still not strong,
I can’t tell you how I feel, so I put it in a song,
You saved me, you loved me, showed me who I am,
So forever if you’ll let me, I will be your man
You are everything I wanted but I couldn’t admit,
You brought me back to life with just one kiss,
I wish I’d known it sooner, hadn’t been so weak,
But know I’ve always loved you,
You make me complete
I remember the feel of your body against mine,
But I pushed you away, refused to give it time
I was young, I was scared, didn’t know who I was,
I should’ve looked for answers but instead, I gave up
You are everything I wanted but I couldn’t admit,
You brought me back to life with just one kiss,
I wish I’d known it sooner, hadn’t been so weak,
But know I’ve always loved you,
You make me complete
My heart felt swollen and I pressed a hand to my chest, trying to alleviate the sudden ache. He’d never been able to truly express how he felt, not in words, but this song… this song he’d written just for me, told me everything I needed so desperately to know. The guys disbanded from the stage and I had to pull myself together as I jogged around the back to meet them.
When I got there, the scene unfolding instantaneously put me on high alert.
“What the hell is going on?” I barked at Claire, watching in utter disbelief as Laurelin was handcuffed and escorted to a police car by two uniformed officers.
“I don’t have time to explain. We need to get the guys out of here. Now.”
“What the fuck?” I grumbled to myself, rushing to the back of the stage where the guys were making their way down the steel steps. Within seconds the area surrounding us was flooded with police cars. “Guys hurry the fuck up. We have to leave.”
