‘Mike’s really stressed,’ Layla continued. ‘Which was why he was so keen to talk, I think. There’s so much riding on this.’
Alex could feel an unpleasant kind of pressure himself. Of course there was a lot riding on this. A little boy’s life.
‘He wants to ask Gina to marry him,’ Layla said quietly into the silence. ‘But it’s not the right time. If things go well, then he can see it being part of the celebration later. A new future for Tommy. A new family. It’s lovely, isn’t it? That Mike and Gina found each other in the midst of all that worry and that they both love Tommy so much?’
Still Alex couldn’t say anything. He didn’t need to be hearing this. Didn’t want the feeling of emotional blackmail that could colour the huge decision he had to make on Monday about whether or not to go ahead with the complicated surgery.
‘It’s just as well they have each other.’ Layla sounded as if she was talking to herself as the soft words continued to spill out. ‘How awful would it be when you have to pin the hopes for your future on a decision that would mean your baby had to undergo such a risky operation?’
And then, as though the implications of her words were only now sinking in, Layla ducked her head and bit her lip.
‘Sorry …’ she muttered. ‘I … get a bit carried away, don’t I?’
‘No kidding.’ Alex spoke more sharply than he’d intended. ‘Surely you’re experienced enough by now to know how unwise it is to get too emotionally involved in a case?’
‘It’s never unwise to care,’ Layla retorted.
A bubble of something hot and nasty was expanding in his gut. Anger that was encased in a skin of confusion.
He didn’t get it.
Layla had always become too emotionally involved. He’d seen that when they’d first met over Jamie Kirkpatrick’s case—the little boy whose condition was eerily similar to Tommy’s. She was so passionate about her job. Cared so intensely about her patients and their families.
And yet she could dump someone she was in a relationship with without so much as a second thought. Without even looking back to see what kind of damage she’d done.
Without caring.
‘I’ll make my decisions based on my professional expertise,’ Alex said coldly. ‘I’ll look at the results of the MRI on Monday and judge whether the chemo has made enough of a difference to improve the odds of attempting a surgery that has the very real risk of ending Tommy’s life immediately.’
The bubble was getting bigger. It wouldn’t take much to burst it.
‘I do not need anybody telling me just how much the future happiness of his father depends on the outcome,’ he continued. ‘I will make a rational, professional choice about the actions I take.’
‘Oh …?’ Layla’s hands were curled into fists and her voice was laced with derision. ‘Like you did last night, do you mean?’
OK, that did it. This might not be the way into that conversation that he’d anticipated but he wasn’t about to hold back now. Except that Layla got in another barb first.
‘Do you make a habit of having unprotected sex?’
‘No.’ Alex spoke through gritted teeth. ‘Do you?’
Layla gave an incredulous huff. ‘The last person I had sex with, other than my husband,’ she hissed, ‘was you.’
Alex had only just started to form a coherent train of thought through the mist of red-hot anger. Now he was stunned into silence again. How long had Layla been divorced? There hadn’t been anyone since?
Why not?
‘So you don’t need to worry that you’ve caught anything unpleasant,’ Layla went on scathingly. ‘And I’m not pregnant. If I hadn’t been right at the end of my cycle I would have taken a morning-after pill today.’
The clinical delivery of the information was chillingly impersonal. Alex couldn’t meet the glare he knew was coming in his direction. He stared straight ahead. The ducks, realising that any prospect of food was gone, were filing back into the lake. In search of a more congenial atmosphere?
‘You don’t need to worry either,’ he told Layla stiffly. ‘The only relationship I’ve had in the last five years was way back when I first arrived in Brisbane. I’ve been tested and cleared of any transmittable diseases since then, thanks to having to work as a surgeon.’
He could actually feel Layla digesting that startling piece of information.
There was a long, long silence. He could feel her curiosity building. He might be wondering himself why Layla was still single but he wouldn’t ask her straight out. Layla wouldn’t shy away from something like that, though. She just wouldn’t be able to help herself.
Sure enough, she asked, albeit a tad hesitantly.
‘Why not?’
Alex shrugged. ‘Too busy,’ he said, with an attempt at lightness. ‘You know how it is.’
‘Yeah …’ The agreement encompassed something a lot bigger than a busy career. She knew.
Alex shot her a glance. ‘And maybe I’m too well aware of the damage that emotional involvement causes. Professional and personal.’
Another silence. And then Layla sighed and the sound was like an admission of defeat.
‘I’m sorry,’ she said quietly.
‘What for?’
‘The … way things ended. That whole mess. I didn’t think for a moment that anything would go wrong with Jamie’s operation and that made it all so much worse.’
‘Not for you.’ Alex didn’t care what the bitter words might reveal. ‘You just walked away without a backward glance. I was the one who got slapped with a malpractice suit. I was the one left wondering if my unprofessional involvement with a colleague had somehow undermined my ability to do my job well enough.’
‘You think I didn’t feel guilty?’ Layla whispered. Her voice rose. ‘I was married, for God’s sake, Alex. My life was falling apart.’
Alex had to get to his feet. How dared she suggest that that black time had been just as bad for her as it had been for him? He jammed his hands in his pockets and took a few jerky steps towards the lake. Then he whirled back to face Layla.
‘So why the hell did you get tangled up with me in the first place, then?’
She looked … anguished. Her voice came out sounding as though she might start crying.
Layla Woods crying? Unthinkable.
‘Probably for the same reason that last night happened,’ she said, jerking her head sideways as she stopped speaking, as though it was taking an enormous physical effort to break the eye contact with him.
So she hadn’t wanted it to happen? Simply hadn’t been able to resist, despite knowing that it was, somehow, so wrong? There was a world of unspoken pain hidden beneath those quiet words.
Alex had to exert the same kind of physical effort he’d seen Layla display. To stop himself moving forward. Reaching for Layla’s hands to pull her to her feet. So that he could wrap his arms around her.
And hold her.
The silence around them was broken by the far-away sound of children laughing and the much closer sound of a rowboat near the shore of the lake, the oars dipping and splashing. The sound make Alex think of more than water.
Of wet skin.
The slide of bodies that couldn’t get close enough fast enough.
Layla was getting to her feet but she didn’t come any closer. She just stared at Alex.
‘It happened,’ she said steadily. ‘The point is, what are we going to do about it?’
He swore softly, under his breath. She was right. There was a physical attraction between them that was irresistible.
So powerful it had the potential to destroy them both.
‘I don’t know,’ he said, his voice catching. ‘I really don’t know.’
Layla held his gaze. ‘Neither do I.’
This was a standoff of a very different kind from the one Layla had been aware of when she’d stepped out of the elevator on the eighth floor of Angel’s a couple of hours ago.
This one wasn’t funny at all.
‘Do we just walk away?’ Alex suggested. ‘Pretend it never happened?’
He still hadn’t broken that intense gaze that was locked with her own. No. They both knew that wasn’t going to happen.
‘There’s another way we could deal with it,’ Layla heard herself saying cautiously.
A tiny flash of interest—hope, maybe—brightened the dark gaze in front of her. ‘Which is?’
‘Um … There’s some kind of a spark between us, isn’t there?’
A huff of breath from Alex. Something halfway between a snort of laughter and a groan.
‘And being around each other is kind of like having a pile of fuel available.’
Alex was silent but he was listening. Carefully.
‘Sometimes …’ Layla swallowed hard ‘… if you throw the fuel onto the spark and make a fire, the fuel runs out and the fire just … goes out by itself.’
She could see Alex processing the idea. His face went very still.
What was he thinking? Did he feel the shower of sparks Layla could feel dancing in the air between them? And the certain knowledge that the tiniest bit of fuel, in the form of a kiss maybe, would ignite those sparks into the hottest flames imaginable. And that those flames could be healing. They could burn away the resentment and mistrust that lay between them after the way they’d parted five years ago.
‘Is that what you want to do?’ His voice was the rawest sound Layla had ever heard.
She couldn’t say a word.
All she could do was hold his gaze, knowing that he would see her answer in her face.
She saw his chest expand as he sucked in a huge breath. Saw the way he dampened his bottom lip with his tongue and the sparks got so bright her vision blurred.
‘It could work,’ he added, as they both began moving, the spell that had held them so still now broken. ‘But fire’s a dangerous thing to play around with. There’s a risk that someone could get badly burned.’
Layla nodded, far more slowly this time. It would probably be her, she thought.
Did she really want to put herself in such a vulnerable position?
Yes …
The tiny voice was remarkably decisive.
Because there was just a chance, wasn’t there?
A chance that the fuel wouldn’t run out completely.
That the huge flames would burn with a blinding brightness but then settle and leave a glow that might … just might … be enough.
And if she didn’t take that chance, she might regret it for the rest of her life.
CHAPTER SIX
LAYLA ARRIVED AT work on Monday morning as nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.
Yesterday had to have been the longest day in her life.
The longest night, anyway.
What had she expected? That Alex would give it some thought, decide that it was a good idea to see if they could deal with their lingering attraction by indulging it and then be unable to wait another night until they could put the plan into action?
Yeah … maybe she had and that was why she’d been waiting for her phone to ring or, at least for a text message signal to sound.
Why her heart had leapt into her throat when her ringtone broke the increasingly tense silence of her Sunday evening.
Talking to her mother was the same as always. Gully-washing October rain had set in. Her father was planning to run for yet another term as mayor. Her ex-husband, Luke, was going to be a father again and there was even a whisper about town that it might be twins this time. Fortunately, the topic of conversation Celia Woods was most concerned about was how she was going to provide the best treats in town for the children who would come knocking on Halloween.
‘I don’t know, Momma.’ If she was honest, Layla didn’t actually care. Halloween traditions were the last thing on her mind right now but this was preferable to being reminded of the life she could have had if she’d stayed with Luke. ‘Why don’t you do some of those meringue ghosts or the cat-shaped cookies you did one year? They look pretty special when you wrap them up in Cellophane and ribbons. Can’t you get food dye that makes things black now?’
‘I do believe you can. That’s a real good idea, honey. I’m gonna go and fix my shopping list right now.’
The silence seemed even heavier after that phone call.
Nothing changed in Swallow Creek and suddenly that was making Layla feel even more on edge about what was happening in her life. The new life she had come here to start. One that had been so full of promise.
One that she had just lobbed a grenade into and now she was waiting to see if Alex was going to pull the pin.
Maybe it would be better if he didn’t.
And how long was she going to have to wait to find out? Mondays were always hectic. Surgery lists would be jam-packed and weekends had the habit of accumulating issues that could wait until somebody senior enough was available to make decisions.
Layla was caught up in meetings, one of which was with the committee dedicated to raising the funds for a new MRI machine. The meeting had barely started, however, before she received an urgent summons to the emergency department.
And that was when her day started to go downhill.
Not that she realised it at the time, but it took another dive when she sent someone to page Alex with an even more urgent summons than the one she’d received.
It should have been Ryan O’Doherty that Layla had summoned because the deputy head of the neurology department was on call for emergency cases today. Alex had arrived with the intention of telling Layla that but one look at the determined set of her mouth and he knew he wasn’t going to be permitted to delegate.
‘I need the very best surgeon we’ve got,’ she said.
Was this some kind of play to weld something personal into the professional? Had Layla done her own thinking and second-guessed the decision Alex had come to last night? Was this was a clever counter-offensive to make him change his mind? Now certainly wasn’t the time to set her straight but he couldn’t leave it much longer.
Taking a closer look, Alex could see that the fierce passion making those blue eyes glow so brightly was purely professional. Layla had no head room for any kind of personal agenda right now. This was all about a six-year-old boy called Matthew.
Alex had perched one hip on the edge of the desk in the office Layla had commandeered in the ER. ‘Fill me in.’
‘I met Matthew four months ago. It was my first outpatient clinic day during my orientation week. He was in the waiting room with his mother, Dayna. She’s a single mum. Matthew’s father was killed in an industrial accident before she even knew she was pregnant.’
Alex was tempted to tell Layla to cut to the chase. The medical details. But the words were spilling out with wobbly edges and she was using her hands a lot while she talked. This was pure Layla. The story of any patient had to include a picture of the whole person. He needed to be patient and simply listen for a minute because she was going to tell him the story whether he liked it or not.
‘He’d found a toy aeroplane in the basket. One of those double-winged ones, you know? Like Snoopy uses when he’s being the Red Baron?’
Alex felt one side of his mouth curl upwards and his impatience faded as he listened to the lilt in Layla’s voice that always got stronger when she was passionate about something. He watched the emotions that flitted across her face and was reminded of what an extraordinary woman she was. Unique. If he could somehow distance himself enough to become merely a good friend, her company would be a joy.
‘There was a battle going on. The Red Baron was gaining height, ready to dive-bomb something. Possibly his mother’s foot because she was busy reading a magazine and wasn’t paying enough attention to the battle. Anyway … I came round the corner and there was a … a mid-air incident and the Red Baron crashed into my leg.’
Alex’s lips twitched. He could imagine the scene.
‘Fortunately there were no major injuries but
poor Dayna was mortified when she found me sitting in with the consultant when she came in with Matthew for his appointment. I told her it was a real joy to see one of our cardiology patients looking so healthy. Matthew was in for a five-year check because he’d been a patient at Angel’s when he was a baby to have a major vascular anomaly corrected.’
Alex finally frowned. ‘This is a cardiology case? Why the hell have you called me down here? I’m in the middle of—’
Layla held up her hand, cutting him off.
‘Dayna asked for me when she brought Matthew into Emergency this morning, maybe because she remembered the way we’d met. She’d found Mattie banging his head on the floor of the bathroom ‘because it hurt so much’. He vomited twice and was found to have neck stiffness and photophobia on arrival.’
Alex’s frown deepened. ‘Sounds like meningitis.’
‘Spinal tap was negative. We wondered about a head trauma after that so we got a CT scan done.’
‘And?’ Alex had closed his eyes for a moment. He did not need another case like Tommy Jenner. A brain lesion in a small child that Layla cared about a little too much. Then his eyes snapped open. This was worse, wasn’t it?
‘A major cardiac vascular anomaly as a baby? He’s got a cerebral aneurysm, hasn’t he?’
Layla nodded, her face now a picture of misery. ‘Dayna’s beside herself. She thought they’d got through the worst that life had to throw at both her and Mattie. He’s started school now and he’s such a happy kid. He … he told me he’s going to be a fighter pilot when he grows up.’
Oh … hell …
‘You’d better show me the CT.’ Alex knew he sounded cool and distant but he’d been sucked in, hadn’t he? Lulled by watching and listening to Layla and now he had more involvement on an emotional level than he was comfortable with before he’d even met the patient.
And there would be no luxury of time to consider a decision here, like he’d had with Tommy. The CT results were crystal clear. The damaged vessel in Matthew’s brain was at risk of bursting at any moment and the results would be catastrophic. Severe brain injury. Or death. The surgery could be equally catastrophic but it was his only chance.
NYC Angels: An Explosive Reunion Page 7
