Layla would want children.
The conviction came from nowhere and it felt curiously … disturbing. She may not have wanted to settle down and produce grandbabies for the mayor of Swallow Creek to show off but … hell … she loved kids. Given the way she got so involved with her small patients, Alex could imagine how fiercely she would love her own children. And she’d be an amazing mother.
Why was the thought so disturbing?
Because it would have to be another man who would be the father of those children?
He should be fine with that. This new … fling with Layla was not going to be permanent. They were just burning off a lingering physical attraction and he had absolutely no desire for it to become anything more than that.
It couldn’t because that would mean trusting Layla to the same extent he had mistakenly trusted her the first time round. And she’d betrayed that trust and left him to fall into such a dark place that he was determined he would never go anywhere near there again.
What the hell had he been thinking, playing with fire like this again?
Totally unintended factors were sneaking into the equation. Like the need to be with Layla as often as possible.
Like a flash of downright envy for the man who would be the father of her children.
Alex tuned back into the conversation between in time to hear Tyler excusing himself. Jack made an apologetic face as the big Texan doctor walked off with a wave.
‘Sorry about that. Kids aren’t really your thing, are they, Alex?’
Alex snorted, ignoring the odd glance that came his way from Layla. ‘No. That’s why I became a paediatric neurosurgeon. Speaking of which, I’m due at a ward round upstairs right about now. Maybe we can grab a beer at O’Malley’s later?’
‘Sounds good. But you don’t get rid of me that easily. I’m heading upstairs myself.’
‘Me too.’ Layla stayed with them. ‘How’s it going at the centre, Jack?’
‘It’s great. I feel like I’m making a real difference.’
‘I wouldn’t mind getting involved myself. Would you have any use for a doctor who can speak Spanish?’
‘Are you kidding? We’d snap up any free time you had.’ Jack shot Alex a sideways glance. ‘From what I hear, though, free time might be a bit thin on the ground.’
The reference to time prompted Layla to check her watch. ‘Oh, help … I’m going to be late for that meeting.’ She waved and someone moved to stop the elevator doors closing.
The elevator looked pretty full. ‘I’m going to take the stairs,’ Alex said. ‘I’ll catch you both later.’
‘I’ll join you.’ Jack hung back as Layla raced off. ‘I could do with the exercise.’
‘You here on a consult?’ Alex asked as they entered the stairwell.
‘Not exactly. Nina’s hoping to get a bit of free time so we can go visiting. She tells me that Tommy Jenner is on the ward.’
‘Yep.’ Alex didn’t slow his stride as they climbed the first flights of stairs.
‘And you’re going ahead with the surgery?’
‘Yep. Scheduled for Friday. We had to put it off because he picked up a bit of a bug last week.’
‘I hope it goes well,’ Jack said quietly. ‘Nina’s going to be holding her breath.’
‘I might be, too.’ Alex could feel his breathing now after three flights of stairs. He paused to take a quick glance through the window. You could see the end of the ambulance bay from here. And the line of rubbish skips. The basketball court was deserted. Maybe he could find Cade later and he could get a workout in. And maybe that would dispel this odd edginess that was building in the wake of those disturbing thoughts he’d just had about Layla’s future family. No. Now that he thought about it, that edginess had had been building ever since that night with Layla.
That first night with Layla. They’d clocked up a few more since then.
And whatever it was between them didn’t seem to be burning itself out. If anything, those flames were burning higher. Brighter. He’d issued the warning himself, hadn’t he? If you played with fire, things could get out of hand. Somebody could get badly hurt.
Had he been so confident of his ability to stay detached that he’d assumed the person who got hurt wouldn’t be him?
‘It was your first day at Angel’s, wasn’t it?’ Jack was looking out the window beside him. ‘When you got caught up in Tommy’s case?’
‘Yeah … It was a memorable elevator ride with Nina in there, trying to calm Mike down when he was furious with people trying to take Tommy away for treatment.’
‘Hardly surprising when you look back on it all. There he was, struggling to be a single dad to a kid who’d been so traumatised by being left in a house with his dead mother for days and everybody assumed he was abusing Tommy. It’s no wonder he went off the edge but it did make it harder to see what was really going on.’
‘Not for Nina.’
‘No … But she’s a woman in her own class of amazing.’ Jack’s smile held a tenderness that made Alex feel left out again. ‘She loves Tommy to bits. She’s taught me a thing or two about taking notice of more than the clinical picture we get from patients.’
‘Hmm.’ Alex watched an ambulance turning into the bay. Layla did that. Was it a female thing?
Or maybe Layla was in her own class of amazing, too.
‘She’s really excited about the prospect of him getting a new mother soon. Is it true that Mike got involved with one of the oncology nurses?’
‘Yeah … Gina. She’s lovely. He’s planning to propose if the surgery goes well.’
Jack sucked in a breath. ‘No pressure, then …?’
Alex grunted and turned away from the window. He was more than ready to tackle a few more flights of stairs. Jack was half a step behind him.
‘So … how’s it working out?’
‘With Tommy? We’ll have to wait and see.’
‘No … I meant at Angel’s. That first day was a while back now and I haven’t been around for months. You happy here?’
‘Yep.’ Until Layla had arrived anyway. And now that they’d found a way to deal with the tension, Alex had to admit he was feeling happier than he had in a long time.
Years. More than five years, to be exact.
They climbed the rest of the way in silence but paused again after Alex had pushed open the fire-stop doors on the eighth floor.
‘I heard about the Kirkpatrick case hitting the grapevine,’ Jack said. ‘How on earth did that happen? I was quite confident that it was going to be buried.’
‘Cade didn’t realise it was being kept quiet.’
‘Oh …’ Jack’s glance conveyed his understanding of the turbulent relationship the brothers had had. ‘Problem?’
‘Could have been,’ Alex admitted. ‘In the end it turned out to be a good thing. Gave us the chance to resolve a few issues that needed airing. Our relationship is better than it’s ever been now.’
Jack’s nod was pleased. ‘That’s great.’
‘Yes and no.’
‘Why no?’
‘He’s planning to take off. Follow my footsteps and go for a new job in Australia. In my old hospital, no less.’ Alex rubbed his forehead. ‘I’ve only got myself to blame. I told him that an old friend there was on the hunt for a prenatal surgeon.’
They could have left the conversation there and gone their separate ways. Jack was here to visit Tommy and Alex was going to be late to start his ward round but that edginess was suddenly boiling to the surface. Alex stayed where he was, with the safety of the wall right behind him.
‘Do you ever get the feeling that life goes in circles, Jack?’
If Jack was disconcerted by the subtext, he didn’t show it. Like the good friend he was, he simply moved a bit closer, giving the impression that he had all the time in the world to talk. Two men having a bit of a yarn. Or two doctors having a quiet word about a patient.
‘Circles?’ he prompted gently.
‘
Yeah. I had Cade in my life and then out of it for too many years. Back in it again when he saw the publicity about the Kirkpatrick case and then out of it when I took off to Australia. Now he’s back but he’s planning to take off himself.’
‘You won’t lose touch. Email’s great. Phone calls by computer even better. There’s nothing to stop you taking a holiday either. I’ll bet you miss all the sun and those fabulous beaches.’
But Alex wasn’t finished. ‘It’s the same with my job. Has it occurred to you that Tommy’s case is horribly similar to Jamie Kirkpatrick’s? That I’m back where I was all those years ago, about to tackle a surgery that could go belly up and wreck more than one life?’
‘It’s a tough call.’ Jack’s face was creased with sympathy. ‘But you can’t think about it like that. Be proud that you are one of the few people that can offer any hope at all in a case like this. Mike’s not going to sue you if it doesn’t go well. From what Nina’s told me, he’s well aware of the risks. He’s incredibly grateful that you’re even prepared to try.’
Alex shook his head. ‘I’m not sure I should be. I’m not sure I could live with myself if it doesn’t go well.’
‘If you don’t try, he’ll die,’ Jack said bluntly. ‘Could you live with that?’
Alex sighed. He started to rub his forehead again but, instead, ran stiff fingers through his hair. ‘It’s not just those circles,’ he admitted quietly. ‘There’s also …’
No. He couldn’t say her name. Talking about it might mean he’d hear something he really didn’t want to hear. He might have to admit what was really going on deep in his own heart.
He didn’t have to say her name. Jack’s gaze held a sympathetic understanding.
‘Layla?’
That heat at the sound of her name was anger. Something very private was being exposed. Something Alex had been avoiding looking at too closely himself until this morning. ‘How the hell did you find out about that?’
Jack’s smile was conciliatory. ‘You forget that I’m still involved with Angel’s. That Nina still works here. We … ah … hear things.’
‘Like what?’ Oh, God … had the grapevine somehow got information about what had happened in the decontamination shower that night?
‘Just that there’s a certain vibe whenever you two are in the same room. A rumour that someone saw a stolen kiss somewhere. I wasn’t sure I believed it until I saw you two together this morning. You may as well have a neon sign above your heads.’
‘Oh …’ Alex couldn’t deny that vibe. It felt like the very air came alive with sparks whenever he was within sight of Layla. Hardly surprising that other people could feel the heat. Had he really been bothered a few weeks back that Layla was stalking him and that their paths seem to cross far too often? It couldn’t be often enough now. He really was in trouble here, wasn’t he?
‘There you are …’ The voice came from the nearby elevator as the doors slid open. ‘I’ve been looking for you, Jack.’ Nina came towards them, smiling.
Alex found himself staring at the elevator as the doors slid shut again. Stupid to be disappointed that Layla wasn’t amongst the people left. Her elevator would have delivered her to the top floor long ago. About when he’d been staring out the window, thinking about shooting hoops.
‘Hi, babe.’ If Jack had looked happy discussing his impending fatherhood, it was nothing compared to the joy on his face now. ‘How’s it going?’
‘Wonderful. I’ve got our tickets for the Halloween ball.’ Nina laughed. ‘The suggestion was made that I could go as a pumpkin and all I would need is an orange dress.’ She patted her belly. ‘What do you think, Alex?’
‘I think you could go as something far more glamorous than a pumpkin.’
Nina was still grinning. ‘A witch, maybe?’ She pointed at Jack. ‘Don’t you dare say a word.’
Jack managed to look totally innocent and highly amused at the same time. He cleared his throat. ‘You going to the ball, Alex?’
‘Nah … though it looks like it’s going to be Cade’s farewell and he’s got some idea of us going in matching costumes.’
‘The Brothers Grimm?’ Nina had clearly caught the excitement that seemed to be taking over Angel’s. ‘Tweedledee and Tweedledum?’
Jack shook his head. ‘Come on. Time to take you away. Let’s go and see if Tommy’s up for a visit.’
‘I’ll catch you later.’ Alex could see Ryan O’Doherty coming through the ward doors. Looking for his senior colleague, no doubt, in order to get the ward round under way.
‘We’ll grab that beer.’ Jack raised an eyebrow and his smile was encouraging. ‘And you know what?’
‘What?’
‘Circles can be good. Sometimes they can take you back to a place you didn’t know you wanted to be.’
Tommy Jenner was getting a lot of visitors today.
Mike was there, of course. He had taken time off work to be with his son for the duration of this hospital admission. Gina was rostered on as Tommy’s nurse whenever she was on shift in the ward but she had other patients to attend to as well. Jack and Nina had been in this morning and Tommy’s surgeons, Alex and Ryan, were checking up on their young patient at frequent intervals. As chief paediatrician, it was only to be expected that Layla was taking a special interest in this case as well.
The irony that the medical problem Tommy was facing was so similar to the one Jamie Kirkpatrick had faced and that this surgery was happening when she and Alex were in the fragile new stages of another relationship was lying more heavily in the back of Layla’s mind every day, but it still seemed like a bonus to find Alex in Tommy’s room when she made her own visit in the afternoon.
It was always a bonus when their paths crossed during working hours these days. Layla could see him in the room before she tapped lightly on the door and pushed it open so she hesitated for a heartbeat, just to enjoy the moment.
It was kind of like when you were a kid and you’d been given the most amazing Christmas or birthday gift, she decided. It wasn’t that you necessarily wanted to play with it all the time but it was very important to keep it somewhere where you could see it as often as possible.
So you knew it was real.
The reality of this new connection with Alex could be found in the most fleeting glance or the hint of a smile. During a professional conversation that had a subtext only the two of them were aware of. It was delicious.
Addictive.
So much so that Layla knew the instant it changed and that happened the second she walked into Tommy’s room. Alex raised his gaze from the notes he was reading to nod and smile an acknowledgment of her presence and the smile was the same as always, but Layla still knew.
It was the abrupt way the eye contact had ended. A split second in time, maybe, but it was enough to let Layla know it was happening again.
Alex was pulling away.
‘Hey, Tommy.’ Layla smiled at both Tommy and his dad. ‘How’re y’all doing?’
‘Me an’ Dad are having haircuts tomorrow. We’re getting it all shaved off.’
‘Wow.’ Layla hitched a hip on the end of the bed. Close to where Alex was standing, flipping pages on the chart, but he didn’t look up. Was it her imagination or did he shift just a little further away? ‘Both of you, huh?’
‘Yeah …’ Mike ran a hand through his own hair and then ruffled his son’s. ‘We’re going to have a race to see who can grow hair the fastest after Tommy has his operation.’
Layla was quite confident she was the only person here who was aware of the tension emanating from Alex. Or that it had just increased a notch. Tommy would have to survive his surgery if his hair was going to grow back.
‘I asked Gina if she wanted to shave her hair off too,’ Tommy told her. ‘But she said she didn’t really want to.’
Layla laughed. ‘I’m not surprised. It’s a bit different for girls.’
‘Why?’
‘I guess we’re not as brave as boys. And we like our
hair too much.’
‘Dad said he likes Gina’s hair just the way it is. She’s got pretty hair, so I guess it’s OK if she doesn’t do the race.’
Alex was scribbling something onto the chart and even his writing sounded tense. Layla could hear the scratching and tapping against the clipboard holding the papers. She wished she’d never told Alex about Mike’s plan to ask Gina to marry him if the surgery went well.
Of course he was pulling away. The pressure was building and he needed to focus. It wouldn’t be like the last time this had happened because this time she understood. She could give him space if that’s what he needed. She was older and wiser now and she wasn’t going to have a hissy fit because she felt she wasn’t getting enough attention.
She was starting to feel a bit tense about it all herself, in fact. It was kind of unfair that life was throwing a testing time like this at them so fast. They needed more time to build trust. They were making a fresh start and it had a promise that was precious.
She had way too much to lose if things went wrong.
Could Alex feel the reassurance she was trying to project? If he did, he didn’t acknowledge it. When he finally looked up from the chart, he looked straight at Tommy.
‘There’s another doctor who’s going to come and visit you tomorrow, buddy. Dr Jill. She’s an anaesthetist. Do you know what that is?’
‘No. What?’
‘She’s the one who’s in charge of helping you go to sleep so you can have your operation. It’s called having an anaesthetic.’
Tommy’s bottom lip wobbled. ‘But I’ll wake up again, won’t I?’
‘You won’t even know you’ve been asleep,’ Alex promised. ‘You’ll close your eyes and then it’ll feel like you just open them again straight away but it’ll all be over.’
‘Will my head hurt?’
‘We’ll give you medicine to stop it hurting.’
‘Will I have a big bandage?’
‘You sure will. And you’ll be in a special place called Intensive Care for a few days.’
Layla could see the way Mike’s throat moved as he swallowed hard.
‘I’ll be there, too,’ he told Tommy, leaning down to give him a kiss. ‘I’ll be right beside you when you wake up.’
NYC Angels: An Explosive Reunion Page 12
