by J
“Who’s saying that?” asked Lola, straining to see where the sound was coming from.
“I know that voice,” said Max. “He’s a TV announcer. We must be going out live.”
A stagehand tapped Max on the shoulder and pointed to a monitor showing the TV audience’s view of the stage.
“We don’t know exactly what Great Sun has planned for us tonight,” continued the announcer, “but we’ve been promised a spectacular show. Social media is buzzing about nothing less than the return of the Birdman himself. That’s right, folks, tonight we are hoping to see the world’s first televised UFO landing!”
Great Sun and Lady Koo exchanged baffled glances.
There was a burst of music, the twirling dancers invaded the stage, and the altar bearing the Jaguar Stones began to rise.
The announcer dropped his voice to a loud whisper: “And it begins, as always, with the lighting of the Jaguar Stones. These legendary stones are the landing lights that will guide the Birdman home to Cahokia.”
When the altar was in position, Great Sun made some bogus magician-type moves, somebody somewhere flicked a switch, and the Jaguar Stones glowed into life. Now five dancers came forward, hoods pulled up so that, from the side, they looked like monks. To a sound track of monastic chanting, and with great solemnity, they processed forward with the stones, placing them at even intervals along the edge of the stage.
After some banter with a female colleague about the value of the stones and the designer of Lady Koo’s dress, the TV announcer leapt into the fray again: “So what surprise does Great Sun have planned for us tonight? Will the children of the stars be returning to their celestial home? Join us, after these messages, as we watch the skies in southern Illinois and wait for the messenger of destiny to arrive.”
“This is all so stupid,” said Lola. “I can’t believe anyone would watch this trash.”
“I bet Raul’s watching it,” said Max. “And Hermanjilio and Lucky and Lady Coco.”
He wished he was safely curled up on a sofa with them at the Villa Isabella. (Assuming, of course, that new sofas had been delivered by now.)
“Okay, so remember to smile into the cameras, Hoop. Let them know that we’re okay.”
Max imagined their friends at the villa clapping and cheering when he and Lola walked onstage. It made him feel a lot braver. “What about Lord 6-Dog?” he asked her. “Do you think we should warn him about Lady Koo’s plans for a roller skate solo?”
Lola shook her head. “She has zero chance of making him do it. Let him sleep. Whatever they shot him with was strong stuff.”
“Silence in the wings!” snapped a stagehand. “You’re on in Five … Four …”
“As our ancestors believed that blood kept the wheels of the universe turning,” Lady Koo was saying, “so tonight we will reenact the ancient ritual of sending our blood to the stars. And here to help us—for one night only!—are two very special guests from the world of ancient myth, the Hero Twins!”
“… Three …”
“What did she just say about blood?” asked Max, suddenly remembering some dicey experiences on other pyramids when villains had tried to sacrifice him.
“… Two …”
Lola read his mind. “Relax! This time it’s all fake blood, remember? They have gallons of it backstage.”
“… One!”
The stagehand gave them the thumbs-up.
“Okay, Hoop, this is it! Hold on to your niblets! We’re on!”
The conch shells and wooden trumpets went crazy and, over the noise, Lady Koo could be heard assuring the crowd that it was not too late to make donations.
As Max and Lola walked onstage, Lady Koo opened her arms in welcome. “Hail to the heroes of the Maya creation story,” she yelled over the mic. “Welcome Xbalanque and Hunahpu, the Hero Twins.”
She thrust her mic under Max’s nose. “Thank you for having us,” he said politely.
Lady Koo rolled her eyes and gave the mic to Lola. “Act!” she whispered.
Lola thought for a moment, then said with authority: “The Hero Twins salute Great Sun and praise his solar greatness.” She passed the mic back to Max and he repeated her words.
Lady Koo nodded approvingly, but Max knew that if there were any critics in the audience, his performance would score worse reviews than his grade-school interpretation of the corncob.
On the other side of the stage, Great Sun bowed to them.
Max and Lola bowed back.
“Go to him!” whispered Lady Koo. “There’s an X on the stage where you stand.”
As they walked across the stage, Max decided to go further off script with a cheery wave to the camera for the guys at the villa. He could feel death rays from Lady Koo’s eyes piercing his back.
Great Sun was waiting for them in between a wood-burning brazier and a small table. The table had been neatly laid with two footed bowls containing strips of bark paper, sachets of fake blood, and, next to them, a small dagger. His lips were mouthing Great Sun gobbledygook at them, but Lady Koo provided the translation.
“Advance, Hero Twins,” she said, “and give your blood for the universe.”
Great Sun picked up the dagger. Its steel blade glinted in the light of the flames from the brazier.
“I should speak to Fay about the props,” muttered Lola. “The Maya had flint and obsidian knives, and Native Americans had wood and stone tomahawks. Either way, these guys could try to be authentic. Children are watching.”
“How about a rubber knife?” said Max. He eyed Great Sun’s dagger. “Something that doesn’t look very sharp and extremely lethal.”
As the dancers twirled in reverence, a strangled howl from behind the altar followed by a yelp of pain made Max and Lola turn. In the shadows, Max could see a scuffle involving a leg in blue striped pajamas, a hairy foot, and an empty roller skate.
“I think he bit the guy who’s trying to put skates on him,” whispered Lola, trying to keep up her stage smile. “Should I go and help him?”
“He can defend himself,” Max whispered back, secretly looking forward to seeing a monkey on roller skates. “You don’t want to make Lady Koo even angrier.”
“I guess.” Lola was so intent on watching what was going on behind her that Great Sun had to cough to get her attention. His arm was shaking from holding up the dagger. They could see the sachets of fake blood hidden in his hand.
“Now Great Sun will nick the earlobes of the Hero Twins and let their blood drip onto paper strips. We will then burn the paper and send their blood to the heavens,” announced Lady Koo.
The dancers knelt in reverence.
Lola nudged Max to show him that Lord 6-Dog had escaped the stagehand and was now snuggled up to his blanket and attempting to sleep on the altar. “Looks like he won the fight,” she whispered, turning back to the ceremony. Max didn’t mention that he could see the stagehand gathering rope, presumably to tie the monkey down and attach skates to his sleeping feet. He guessed that Lady Koo’s commands were not easily disobeyed.
“The excitement builds,” enthused the TV announcer.
As Max and Lola held up their bowls to catch the fake blood, Max whispered: “What excitement? It’s not exactly the Super Bowl, is it?”
The next moment, his bowl was knocked out of his hand.
“If you want entertainment,” said Lady Koo, “I’ll give you entertainment!”
She grabbed the dagger out of her husband’s hand and headed for the altar. By the time Max and Lola had registered the fact that she’d kicked off her high heels and was limping severely, one leg dragging behind her, she was holding the dagger over Lord 6-Dog’s chest.
“Tzelek! She’s Tzelek!” yelled Lola.
“Prepare to die, brother!” shouted Lady Koo, in Tzelek’s devilish voice.
“Quick!” Lola yelled to Max. “We have to save Lord 6-Dog!”
Max met Lady Koo’s eyes and Tzelek’s red orbs glared back at him. “You’re next, boy,” he said.
Max heard himself scream.
Then an even louder noise than his screams filled the air.
The stage was bathed in a ghostly blue-green light.
Tzelek stared up fearfully through Lady Koo’s eyes at the massive spaceship that was descending from the sky.
Max thought he might save Tzelek the trouble, and just die of terror.
“He’s here! He’s here!” the TV announcer was shouting. “The Birdman of Cahokia has returned!” The muffled thud and radio silence that followed his words suggested he’d fainted.
The dancers and extras scattered. The cameramen and the stagehands cowered in the wings. Great Sun looked from his wife to the spaceship and back again, before tearing off his headdress and running offstage in the direction of the escalators.
Only Max, Lola, and Tzelek stood rooted to the spot.
“What’s happening?” whispered Max. “Is this another special effect?”
“I hope so,” said Lola. “I really, really hope so.”
CHAPTER NINETEEN
ALIEN INVASION
Picked out in a beam of light from the spaceship, Tzelek was transfixed. The sequins on his dress shimmered and sparkled. He held the dagger above his head, as motionless as a statue. From the stream of curses flowing from his lips, Max and Lola, who were the only ones close enough to hear, understood that his immobility was involuntary. Also caught in the alien’s headlamps, Lord 6-Dog lay flat on his back on the altar. Max noted that the stagehand had been successful in strapping the skates to his feet.
Down below in the plaza, the audience had completely lost track of the plot, but, assuming that the woman in the green dress was striking a dramatic pose, they applauded enthusiastically.
“Look at the altar,” Max whispered to Lola. “It really is the one from Spain. You can see the scorch marks from the fire at Landa’s palace.”
“Yes,” replied Lola sarcastically. “And if you look even more carefully, you can see that Tzelek is trying to kill Lord 6-Dog on it. We need to help him!” She strained to move but got nowhere. “I’m stuck! What’s going on? It’s like my feet are glued to the floorboards.”
Max found that he couldn’t move either. Only his mouth.
“I think it’s the spaceship,” he said.
As they looked angrily around, they saw that anyone who hadn’t fled the stage was immobilized. Below them, the audience was going wild. It must have looked amazing from down there, Max thought. A human tableau frozen in the beam of an alien spaceship.
He narrowed his eyes and tried to look up. “Cigar-shaped,” he observed. “That’s a classic UFO description.”
“It’s not a cigar. It’s a canoe,” said Lola.
“A canoe?”
“Look at it. The ancient Maya had huge, oceangoing canoes with roofs. That’s exactly what it looks like.”
“A space canoe?”
“Why not? Modern space rockets look like jets, so why wouldn’t an ancient Maya spaceship look like a canoe?”
“Okay. But why would a Maya spaceship land at Cahokia?”
“It’s not real, Hoop! It’s another trick!”
“I’m not so sure about that, Monkey Girl. They’re letting down a ramp.”
“You’ll see. It will be another pathetic attempt to sell merchandise.”
When the ramp was in place, the lights dimmed and the door of the ship slid open. A figure stood in the doorway, backlit from the cabin, and visible only in silhouette.
Twenty thousand people gasped at once.
“It’s him!” yelled Max. “It’s the Birdman!”
“No way!” said Lola scornfully. “It’s just some guy in a costume.”
The audience fell silent—the entire watching world fell silent—as the Birdman figure walked down the ramp. When he reached center stage, he spread his huge feathered wings. The moonlight danced on their silvery plumage, making them glitter and sparkle.
A distorted voice boomed out from the spaceship: “HAIL TO YOU, CHILDREN OF THE STARS.”
Constellations of camera flashes lit up the night.
The voice continued:
“YOUR PLEAS HAVE BEEN HEARD. THE BIRDMAN HAS RETURNED.”
“Hey you there, Birdman!” called Tzelek. “Would you mind turning off the spotlight? You’re blinding me and I’m in the middle of a very important sacrifice here!”
The Birdman turned to see who had spoken.
He pointed a wing at Tzelek and extended a claw. A ray of red light, like a laser beam, shot out and exploded the dagger into pieces.
“Okay,” said Lola. “this is looking real.”
“Birdman, I beg of thee!” gasped Lord 6-Dog. “Use thy magic light to cut these ropes.”
“I’ll cut them,” said Tzelek, “and use them to strange you.”
The Birdman extended a claw and pointed it at Tzelek.
“No!” screamed the evil priest. “No!”
Another beam of red light shot out and Tzelek-in-Lady-Koo’s-body slumped to the ground, holding his/her head.
The Birdman’s shoulders shook as if he was laughing.
“Looks like Tzelek’s been sent back to Xibalba,” whispered Max. “Maybe this Birdman is on our side.”
“Maybe,” agreed Lola. “But I don’t like the way he’s looking at our Jaguar Stones.”
“THE BIRDMAN BRINGS GREETINGS FROM YOUR NEW MASTERS,” announced the voice from the spaceship. “OUT WITH THE OLD AND IN WITH THE NEW.”
He pointed a claw at each Jaguar Stone in turn, and, one by one, they exploded in a fizzing tangle of wires and batteries.
Max and Lola looked at each other in despair. Despite the fact that a spaceship was hovering over their heads and something had gone very wrong with Lady Koo’s show, they’d still hoped to grab the stones and head back to San Xavier. But now their plan was hopeless.
“We’re doomed,” whispered Max.
“Don’t say that.”
The spotlight moved to shine on them.
“Uh-oh,” said Max. “What’s this?”
“THE NEW AGE HAS BEGUN,” the voice was saying. “STAY TUNED FOR DETAILS OF THE OPENING CEREMONY. AND TO SYMBOLIZE THE JOINING OF OUR WORLDS, THE HERO TWINS ARE NOW INVITED TO BOARD THE SPACE CANOE.”
The Birdman gestured toward the ramp.
“Excuse me?” Lola called to him. “You know we’re not the actual Hero Twins, right?”
“Take me! Take me!” volunteered voices in the audience.
“At least we can move again,” said Lola, running over to the altar. Carefully, she picked up a piece of the dagger’s shattered blade and began to saw at the ropes.
“HERO TWINS FOR IMMEDIATE BOARDING!” commanded the voice.
“We’re not coming with you!” Lola shouted at the Birdman.
Lord 6-Dog had worked himself free of the rest of the ropes and was climbing down. “Who dares to—?” he began, and immediately lost his balance on his roller skates. Before he could pull himself up again, a red light focused on his heart.
The Birdman looked questioningly at Lola.
“Hoop?” she said in a little voice. “I think we have to go with them.”
The Birdman nodded in agreement.
“What, and live on another planet for the rest of our lives? Are you crazy?”
The red light on Lord 6-Dog’s heart grew brighter, and he clutched at his chest in pain. “As long as we’re alive, we can escape,” said Lola. “I’m sure we’ll be back. They said something about opening ceremonies.”
“No.” Max was adamant. “It’s too dangerous.”
The red light flashed. There was a smell of singed monkey fur.
“Stop!” Lola shouted at the Birdman. “We get the message.” She crouched down to Lord 6-Dog. “Are you okay?”
He nodded weakly.
Lola looked at Max. “With or without you, I’m getting on this spaceship. Lord 6-Dog can’t take any more.” She helped the howler to his feet. “Well, this is exciting,” she said, trying to s
ound brave. “You’re going to be the first Maya king in space.”
“I care not for flying,” grumbled Lord 6-Dog
“Where’s your sense of adventure?” asked Lola, pulling him on his skates toward the ramp.
Max watched them go.
Fay pushed her way through the petrified stagehands. “Here,” she said, putting something into Max’s hands. It was a Dawg Doll in striped pajamas. “Lola wanted it.”
Max looked at the little toy monkey. It had an almost mystical expression on its face. And whether it spoke to him or whether he listened to his heart, he suddenly knew what he had to do.
“Wait for me,” he called. “I’m coming with you.”
To Blue, somewhere in the audience, it was the most remarkable thing he’d ever seen.
A howler monkey wearing blue-striped pajamas and roller skates, his red blanket flying out behind him, was being towed by a jaguar-painted girl with a beard and a red-haired boy dressed in camouflage as they followed the mythical Birdman of Cahokia up the ramp of a shimmering space canoe.
“I have to find Wi-Fi,” he said to Rainbow. “My Facebook friends will never believe this.”
CHAPTER TWENTY
BLASTOFF!
The door of the spaceship shut behind them and the Birdman took his seat at the controls. “Seat belts should be securely fastened,” commanded the recorded voice. “Tray tables stowed in the upright position. A crew member will not be pointing out emergency exits, as there aren’t any. Prepare for takeoff.”
Lola and Max looked at each other.
They had no words.
They’d set out to rescue their parents and now they were leaving planet Earth on a spaceship, and they didn’t know if they’d ever be back.
There was nothing to say anymore.
In any case, words would have been lost in the screaming of the engines as the ship blasted off through the night sky.
Eventually, the ship seemed to steady itself and the noise was reduced to a hum.
Max gathered his thoughts. “Right up until the last minute,” he said, “I was hoping it was another little trick of Lady Koo’s, a special effect. But I guess we really are in space.”
