Elisabeth looked at Aaron and shrugged. “I don’t know what’s going on.”
“Geh and talk to her,” he said.
As she walked into Aaron’s living room, she saw Deborah in front of the big picture window, looking outside.
“Deborah?”
When her friend turned around, the first thing Elisabeth noticed were her red-rimmed eyes. Alarmed, she asked, “What’s wrong?”
“Oh, Elisabeth.” Deborah went to her and grabbed her hands. “I’m in trouble. Big trouble.” Tears pooled in her eyes. “I think I’m pregnant.”
Chapter 12
Aaron, will you get me the cocoa powder from that cabinet?”
Aaron followed his mother’s instructions and handed her the cocoa as she stirred milk in a pot over the stove. He moved to sit at the kitchen table, wondering what Deborah was doing here. She’d probably stopped by Elisabeth’s house and found out she was here. But what could be so important that she couldn’t wait to talk to Elisabeth later?
“Do you know Deborah?”
He looked at his mother, who was adding cocoa to the milk. “Nee. We only met once.” He doubted Deborah remembered that encounter.
Sarah adjusted the gas flame underneath the pot. “I hope that poor maedel will be all right. She was distraught when she got here.”
Aaron tapped his fingers against the table, wondering the same thing. He also thought back to his conversation with Elisabeth at the pond. He’d been surprised to learn that she felt she was mixed up too. He would have never guessed that about her. Yes, she could be impulsive and at times forgetful, and her inclination for poking her nose where it didn’t belong could be annoying. But there were so many other things about her he found fascinating. Her optimism. Her sheer joy for life. Her ability to laugh off her failings and press on no matter what. Those were qualities he wished he possessed, qualities he found extremely appealing. It didn’t hurt that her terrific personality was wrapped up in a pretty package either.
He stilled his hand, realizing that wasn’t the first time he’d been thinking about how attractive he thought she was. He’d been thinking about that a lot, since Christmas when she’d given him the scarf. A month later and he was still touched by her thoughtfulness. He’d wracked his brain trying to think of something suitable to get her in return, but he didn’t think she’d want a pair of horseshoes or a handmade sconce. It just drove the point home that he had little to offer her.
“The cocoa’s almost done.” His mother glanced at him over her shoulder. “I wonder if I should take some to them or let them speak privately?”
“I’ll take it.” Aaron took two of the mugs his mother had filled and left the kitchen, heading down the hallway. As he neared the living room, he could hear them talking, but he couldn’t make out who was speaking or even exactly what they were saying, their voices were so low. A few words jumped out at him. Trouble. Parents. Help.
He practically stomped into the room, warning them of his arrival. “Anyone thirsty?”
Both girls looked at him, and he could see why his mother had been concerned. Tears streaked down Deborah’s face, and Elisabeth looked like she wanted to throw up.
Elisabeth went to him. “Nee, Aaron. Tell your mami danki, but Deborah and I have to geh.”
“All right, let me get my coat and I’ll drive you home.”
“Deborah brought her buggy. I’ll go with her.” She motioned for her friend to follow her. “I’ll see you at work tomorrow.” They rushed out of the front door.
Through the window, Aaron watched them leave in the buggy, the horse trotting at a swift pace. He frowned, genuinely worried now, and headed back to the kitchen. He set the mugs of cocoa on the table.
His mother looked at the still-full mugs. “They didn’t want any hot chocolate?”
“They left.”
“Already?”
He nodded.
“That’s strange, isn’t it?”
“Ya,” he said, glancing at his mother. “Very strange.” So strange, he didn’t know what to think.
“I can’t be pregnant, Elisabeth. I just can’t be.”
Elisabeth gripped the reins of Deborah’s horse with one hand and reached out for her friend’s hand. “Maybe you’re not.”
“But I checked the date on my calendar this morning. I’ve never been late.”
“Are you sure you haven’t made a mistake?” She tried to wrap her head around what Deborah was saying. Her friend was pregnant and unmarried. She had never personally known anyone who had gotten pregnant outside of wedlock.
Her stomach rolled. How could Deborah have done this? How could she have given herself to anyone but her husband?
Taking a deep breath, she forced herself to stay calm. Deborah was already a wreck; she didn’t need to make her friend feel worse.
“What am I going to do?”
Elisabeth squeezed Deborah’s hand, then let it go. “First thing is to find out for sure. Have you taken a pregnancy test?”
“Nee.”
“Then we need to get one.” She had gone to the pharmacy with Moriah when her sister had been pregnant with Ester, so she knew exactly where to find them.
Twenty minutes later, they pulled into the pharmacy parking lot. The snow plows had cleared the lot, heaping high piles of dirty snow on the perimeter. Elisabeth steered the horse to the hitching post, then started to climb out of the buggy.
“I don’t know about this, Elisabeth. ” Deborah sniffed, wiping her nose on a damp handkerchief.
“About what?”
“What if someone from church sees me? You know how people talk.”
You should have thought of that before. “I’ll geh in there with you.”
“Then they might think you’re pregnant too.”
“I don’t care what they think, Deborah. Right now I’m worried about you.”
Deborah looked at her, tears dangling on her lashes. “You’re such a gut friend, Elisabeth. I was awful to you the night of that party. I’m sorry.”
“It’s all right. Let’s get this over with.”
They got out of the buggy and Elisabeth tied the horse to the hitching post. They hurried inside and went straight to the aisle where the pregnancy tests were.
“Which one should I get?” Deborah scanned the shelves.
“This one,” Elisabeth said, grabbing the one she remembered Moriah using. She thrust it at Deborah. “Now, let’s go check out.”
On the way to the check-out counter, Elisabeth grabbed a couple of candy bars.
“What are those for?” Deborah asked.
“You can’t just buy a pregnancy test by itself.”
“Oh.” Deborah took the candy bars and put them on the counter along with the test. The cashier came over and checked them out.
“You want these in the bag?” The cashier drawled, holding up the candy.
Deborah’s head bobbed up and down.
After the cashier put the merchandise in the bag, Deborah took it and immediately walked to the front door. Elisabeth started to follow.
“You want your receipt?” the cashier asked, holding a piece of paper.
Elisabeth snatched the receipt out of her hand and went back to the buggy. She climbed in beside her friend and shoved the receipt into her bag before starting out for Deborah’s house.
Half an hour later, Elisabeth paced the length of Deborah’s bedroom. Her friend was in the downstairs bathroom, taking the test. Please Lord, let it be negative.
She turned at the sound of Deborah entering the room, her face ashen. Elisabeth’s stomach lurched. She knew without asking what the result was.
Instead of panicking as she had before, Deborah sat down on the bed, a faraway look on her face. “What am I going to do?”
“You have to tell the father.”
Deborah looked up at Elisabeth. “I can’t tell Chase about the boppli.”
Elisabeth’s eyes widened. “Chase?”
“Ya. Chase is the father.”
“Stephen, help me load these up in the buggy,” Lukas said, pointing to three small child-sized hickory chairs and a box of other wooden toys lying next to it. “I told Anna I’d have these at the store for her today.”
Stephen slapped his palms together to get rid of the sawdust that had accumulated on them, then grabbed two of the chairs without saying anything. The whir of a hydraulic wood saw followed them out the door as they headed for Lukas’ buggy. His horse stretched back his ears as the men approached. When they finished loading up, Lukas said, “You want to come out to the store with me?”
“Nee. I’ve got plenty of stuff here to do.”
Lukas pushed his hat back on his head. “Not so much that you can’t take a little time off to come with me. I know Anna would like to see you.”
“Maybe another time.”
“All right.” Lukas looked at him. At sixteen, Stephen was three years younger than Lukas, but had already passed him in height. He wouldn’t be surprised if he grew right past Tobias, who was five feet ten inches tall. Lukas was two inches shorter.
Stephen gave him a nod, then turned around and went back inside.
Lukas shoved his hat lower on his head and climbed into the buggy. The January air was crisp, but the sun shone at full strength.
A short time later, Lukas pulled into the parking lot of Esh’s Amish Goods. He tied his horse to the hitching post, then walked to the back of the wagon and pulled out two of the three rocking chairs. He’d come back for the box in a bit. When he entered, he saw Anna behind the counter. “Hello.”
She looked surprised to see him. “What are you doing here?”
His smile faded. “The rockers? I said I’d bring them, remember?”
“Oh, ya. That’s right.” The confused look on her face disappeared. “I can’t believe I forgot about that.”
“Snow, sleet, rain, not even heavy traffic on 87 will keep your delivery mann from his mission.”
She laughed. “You’re more than a delivery mann, Lukas.”
“Flattery will get you everywhere.” Grinning, he held up the rocking chairs. “Where do you want these?”
“Just put them in the back.”
He did as she asked, then returned to the front. “Be right back.”
After he’d unloaded all the rockers, he went to Anna. “I wish I could stay longer, but I need to get back.”
“That’s all right. I’m really busy this morning.” She glanced away.
There weren’t any customers in the store, but maybe she meant she was busy with paperwork. Looking to see if anyone was around, he leaned over and kissed her cheek. “See you later.”
“Bye.” Her cheeks rosy, she waved as he walked out the door.
Anna watched Lukas as he left. She had forgotten he’d mentioned he was delivering the rockers today. Where was her mind this morning? But she knew the answer to that. She’d been on edge since she’d gotten up.
“Anna?” Her mother emerged from the back room. Today was Thursday, or as her mami teasingly called it, her “Zeb-free” day. Each Thursday she helped Anna in the store from open to close while Zeb spent Thursdays with his Yankee friend Charlie, who took him to the flea market in Bloomfield. It was the one day of the week they didn’t have to worry about Zeb getting into trouble.
“What do you need, Mami?”
“What is this about?”
She looked at her mother, surprised at the tightness in her voice. Then she saw the pink paper in her hand, torn from a message pad, with her doctor’s appointment and the word surgery written on it. Anna thought she had put the paper inside her purse, but she must have neglected to do it.
“Who’s having surgery?”
Anna’s first reaction was to lie. She hadn’t wanted anyone to know about the surgery. But she couldn’t do that, not to her mother’s face. If only she had paid more attention. But she’d been so distracted this week.
She sighed. “I am.”
“What?” Edna went to her. “Why? When?” She gripped Anna’s arm, forcing her to face her. “What’s going on?”
“I was going to tell you tonight.”
“When’s the surgery?”
“Today.”
“And you weren’t going to tell me until tonight?” She let go of Anna’s arm and tossed the paper on the counter, hurt and dismay evident in her features. “How could you keep this from me?”
“It’s an outpatient procedure, and I’ll be home by the afternoon. I’ll be fine by tomorrow.”
“And what exactly are you having done?”
“A laparoscopy.” She explained to her mother about her visit to Dr. Caxson. “So you see, there’s nothing to worry about.”
Edna leaned against the counter, distress contorting her features. “I wish you would have told me. I could have helped.”
“There’s nothing you can do, Mami.”
Edna didn’t look convinced. “At least I can go with you. We’ll close the shop for the day.”
“I won’t do that. Thursday is one of our busiest days of the week. Besides, Ruth is coming in to help out today after school.”
“Then call the doctor and reschedule the appointment for when I can be there with you.”
“I can’t.”
“Can’t . . . or won’t?”
Anna didn’t respond. Her mother wouldn’t understand. She hadn’t come to this decision lightly.
“Anna? Are you listening to me?”
Clearing her thoughts and focusing back on her mother, she said, “Ya. And I told you I can’t cancel. Susan’s coming to pick me up in a few minutes.”
“Anna, I don’t understand why you want to go through this by yourself. Does Lukas know?”
“Nee, and I don’t plan on telling him.” They’d only been courting for a couple of weeks, and even though they had been friends much longer, she couldn’t imagine talking to him about something as personal as this.
“But what if the surgery doesn’t work?”
“It will.” She heard a honk from the parking lot and grabbed her purse off the desk.
“Anna, wait.”
“I can’t, Mami. Susan’s here.” She headed for the door, glancing over her shoulder before opening it.
Edna stood behind the counter, her head bent slightly. She could hear her mother whispering, no doubt saying a prayer on her behalf. Despite their argument, she was grateful to be blessed with a praying mother.
She stepped outside the store, a cold blast of air hitting her full force, despite most of her face being obscured by her bonnet. A few flakes of snow had started to fall, and a sharp wind swirled around the hem of her sage green dress. Her black knee socks did little to keep her legs warm.
Susan waved from the driver’s side of her Buick sedan. Anna waved back and opened the door, climbing quickly inside, thankful for the warmth of the car’s heater. Although Susan knew about the doctor’s appointment, she didn’t know the specifics.
“Ready to go?” Susan said, pulling the gearshift down.
“Ya.” Anna looked out of the passenger window, a fresh wave of nerves assaulting her. A shiver passed through her body, one unrelated to the wintery cold. “God willing, I’m ready.”
Later that morning, Anna moved to sit up from the examination table, still groggy from the anesthetic the doctor had given her an hour or so ago. A sharp, burning pain stabbed her below her belly button. She winced. Both Dr. Caxson and his nurse assisted her to a sitting position, then he wheeled his stool to the table and sat down in front of her. “How are you feeling?”
“All right. Was the surgery a success?”
Compassion entered his eyes. “The endometriosis was more extensive than we thought. I ablated as much of the implanted tissue as I could.”
She struggled to comprehend his words. The medical jargon was unfamiliar to her. “That’s good, isn’t it?”
“It is. You should be experiencing less pain now with your next cycle. But I have to be honest with you—there’s
still a possibility you won’t be able to conceive.”
Without thinking, Anna’s hand went directly to her abdomen. It was sore from the laparoscopy, but she barely felt any pain. Numbness flowed over her until she sensed almost nothing. “Why?”
“In my experience, patients who had similar problems with endometriosis had a low chance of getting pregnant—about twenty percent.”
His answer gave her hope. “But there’s still a chance.”
“A small one. There’s a greater chance of the endometriosis recurring, which would require more surgery.” He rose from his seat. “I wish I had better news, Ms. Esh. If you start experiencing pain again, come see me right away. Don’t ignore it or think it’s going to get better. Make an appointment immediately.”
Once the doctor left, Anna sat, motionless. Any grogginess she’d felt from the anesthesia had disappeared. She saw everything with painful clarity.
She might not ever be able to have children.
“You okay, sweetie?” The nurse came over and put her arm around Anna’s shoulder.
Anna looked at her, fighting her despair. “Do you have children?”
The nurse nodded slowly. “Three.”
“Then you are very blessed.”
She gave Anna a small smile that was meant to be encouraging, but had the opposite effect. “I am indeed.” She squeezed Anna’s shoulder. “You should have a couple of refills of that pain medication Dr. Caxson gave you on your last visit. Take two of them when you go home, and sleep for the rest of the night. No heavy lifting for the next few days, okay?”
Anna dipped her chin in a half nod. When the nurse left, and she began to dress, Anna realized what she had to do. She couldn’t accept the doctor’s diagnosis, not yet. Not until she had spent a long time on her knees in prayer. Miracles happened all the time, she truly believed that. Story after story from the Bible filtered through her mind. Displays of God’s divine power. And before she would let Dr. Caxson cut her again, she would seek the Lord first, and ask him for healing.
The Hearts of Middlefield Collection Page 39
