On the far wall was an alcove, a withered-looking heart the size of her torso beating in time with the noise, thud-thud, thud, thud, with sallow purple and blue veins disappearing into the rock around it.
That was its heart.
That’s what it was protecting.
Stop the heart, stop the creature. This was how Alyx would kill it. She had to stop the heart before the creature killed Israel.
She ran to the heart, its beats so loud that it reverberated throughout her body. She drew back an arm and punched her fist at it as hard as she could. She smacked into something solid, jarring her arm, and her knuckles exploded into pain. She stumbled back clutching her hand, biting her lip to stop herself from screaming out and giving her position away.
The heart must be enclosed in some kind of thick glass. How the hell was she going to get through it?
She heard Israel’s screams from somewhere near the front of the cave breaking through the muffle. Her heart lurched in her chest. Israel. Oh God. She wanted to run towards him, but she couldn’t. She wouldn’t get to him in time. She needed to destroy this heart, right now.
But how? How would she break through this shield?
She didn’t even have a sword. No weapons. Nothing. Just this stupid Alchemist magic that turned out to be totally useless.
Alchemist magic.
Of course. This magic would allow her to change the elements into other elements. She could turn this unbreakable shield into something else.
She placed her hand on the cool surface and tugged at the magic in her bloodink tattoo. Her veins filled with a rush of molten fire and she tasted the tang of metal in her mouth. She felt the shield and knew at once it was made of a single sheet of diamond, the hardest element in all the world. What should she turn it into?
Her mind flickered over the chair leg she had turned to gold. Gold was a soft metal but not soft enough to cut through without a weapon. She thought of the protractor she had turned to glass.
Glass. Of course.
She pushed it all out through her hand, ordering the molecules of this diamond to turn to a delicate and brittle glass. She felt the shield crackling underneath her hand as it changed, groaning at the offense of being forced to rearrange itself.
She heard the creature roar and the flapping of wings coming closer. She didn’t need to turn her head to know that the beast was bulleting straight for her.
The last of the Alchemist magic drained from her fingers. The change was done.
She didn’t waste another second. She elbowed the glass and it shattered. The creature let out another roar of anger. She grabbed a large pointed shard, ignoring the edges that cut into her palms, and thrust it into the center of the blue heart with both hands.
The creature collided with her, crushing her against the rocky cave wall. All the air was knocked out of her and her world went totally dark.
Chapter Nineteen
Israel.
That’s all Alyx could think as she struggled to push herself out from this suffocating darkness. The creature’s limbs were heavy, a dead weight, as she struggled to shove them off her. Mercifully, it shifted and rolled away. She inhaled sharply as she lay there. Now she could breathe.
The creature’s eyes were dull and open like two eight balls, its mouth open in a final scream. The thudding heart had fallen silent. The alcove where it had rested had dissolved into a doorway, a pale white light shining from inside. She knew that this was what she had to walk through to get back to the other side. She couldn’t even think of doing that yet. The creature was dead. But did she kill it in time?
“Israel,” she called out.
The cave was silent. She couldn’t hear him moving or breathing. Her heart clenched with a throb of pain. Dear God. Please let him be okay. She was already running as soon as her feet touched the ground.
She spotted his body, lying prone in a pool of blood near the cave entrance. Outside the snow had all but melted away and it seemed to be growing lighter. There wasn’t much time left. Winter was almost over.
Right now she didn’t care about that.
She fell to her knees at his side. His body was shredded almost into ribbons, his beautiful golden body raked with raw open gashes. He couldn’t have survived this attack, could he? “Israel? Oh God, why did you have to do that? We could have found another way.”
She brushed his face with her hands, blood smearing on her fingers. He moaned and his eyelashes flickered.
He was still alive.
“Israel, can you hear me? You’ll be fine.”
He laughed once and it turned into a groan. “You’re such a bad liar.”
Her eyes filled up with tears again. “I can’t watch you die. I can’t. Not again.”
“It’ll be okay.”
“No, it won’t.”
“All that will happen is that I’ll wake up in my real body.”
“What if the Elder’s wrong?”
“We just have to have faith. Did you find the exit?”
She nodded.
“Then walk through it.”
“Once I wake up, I’ll be all alone again.”
He grasped at her hand and slipped his fingers through hers, his movements stiff and slow. “No, you won’t be.” The soft touch sent ripples through her body. “I’ll see you soon, okay?”
“Promise?”
“I promise.”
She leaned down and placed her mouth on his and kissed the last breath from him. Again. I’ll wait for you.
When she pulled away, his eyes were closed and his chest had stopped moving. She gulped down a sob and tried to coat herself from these sharp, tumbling feelings. The feelings of loss over his past death echoed through her, ripping her heart into pieces all over again.
The greater the love, the greater the loss.
One day she would have to do this for real. Again.
A ripping feeling went through her. She couldn’t. She couldn’t do it, she couldn’t.
“Hello, Alyx,” a soft female voice called from behind her.
She leaped to her feet and spun. Her breath caught in her throat when she saw the two familiar figures standing there. His soft smile and dark intelligent eyes. Her warm smile and open arms. Just as she remembered them the last time she saw them when she was fourteen.
“Maninka? Táta?”
“It’s us, cherub,” her father said, using his nickname for her.
She ran into their arms and a comforting warmth rushed in to fill the cracks of her heart. For a few moments she basked in the completeness she felt in their arms. Something she hadn’t felt in a long time…until Israel.
At the thought of Israel and the real world, she pulled back and looked her parents over. They looked real. They felt real. “Why can I see you?”
“Because you’re close to death. Look,” her mother said pointing behind her. “Winter is almost over.”
She turned. Just outside the door the melted snow left evaporating puddles across the damp rock.
“Go,” her father said, indicating the gleaming door behind them. “If you stay here you’ll die.”
“We just wanted to see you again,” her mother said, “to tell you we love you. And we’re proud of you.”
She stared at the white door at the far side of the tunnel. If she walked through…who knew what life had in store for her. Would she even get to remember Israel? Would she even get him? She would have to say goodbye to her parents again. She’d have to lose them again. “But if I stay here then I’ll get to be with you both again, right?”
“It’s not your time,” her father said. “You have so much left to do, darling.”
“And Israel,” her mother said with a knowing smile, “he seems…perfect for you.”
Israel. She had to go back so she could see Israel again.
But what about when she lost him? That was the brutality of life. It ended. It always ended. And nobody could say when. Death was only a blink away from taking everyone you loved aw
ay from you. Love, no matter how strong, couldn’t tether them to the Earth. She knew this deep in the marrow of her soul. She’d already experienced it once.
If she stayed here, if she didn’t wake up, she’d never have to experience that pain again. She could stay wrapped up in the love of her parents and just fade away.
“Be a bitch. Be ungrateful. Throw a tantrum for all the good it will do you. I’m not leaving. Do you hear me? I’m. Not. Leaving.”
“Of everything we’ve faced in here already, I’ve barely seen an ounce of fear or hesitancy in you. So why are you so afraid out there?”
“Just because it didn’t last forever, it doesn’t mean it wasn’t worth it.”
Israel’s words echoed in her head.
A realization snapped inside her like a rubber band.
This was her labyrinth. She had made the dream city, the Maze of Whispers, the Heartless Mountains. All of this. She had trapped herself in here. Deep down she hadn’t wanted to wake up.
The Heartless Mountain beast, her final test…this was her. Hiding away, never straying too far from comfort, just to protect her heart. A heart that was withering away anyway, because it wasn’t being used.
She wasn’t ready to die. Not yet.
I won’t be afraid anymore, Israel, she promised him in her mind. I swear, I’ll live and I’ll do it right.
She looked at both her parents, who were watching her closely. “I’ll go. I’ll live.” The beaming smiles across their faces confirmed she’d made the right decision.
They walked with their arms around her towards the white door back to the outside world. The light had already begun to fade. She held them both one more time. “I miss both of you so much, every day.”
“Oh, darling,” her mother said, “we’re with you, every day.”
“Now go live your life, cherub.”
“I will, Táta. I love you both.” With one last look back, she stepped through the white light so she could live.
Chapter Twenty
Israel woke up with a start, clutching his chest and gasping for breath. He pushed himself up to sitting on his couch.
Jesus Christ. He had dreamed that he died. He dreamed that a creature had torn him apart.
More of his dream came back to him in flashes. He had dreamed about Alyx, the woman he had taken to hospital. They’d journeyed across a strange land together. They had kissed and he had remembered a past life…
What a crazy dream. There were no such things as past lives. What an absolute lunatic dream. It was so real and so vivid. He raised his fingers to his mouth. He swore he could still taste her lips on his, he could still feel her soft tongue, her gentle fingers. An ache grew in the pit of his belly. Trust him to fall in love with a dream. What would his therapist say about that? If he ever went back.
His head spun a little as he stood. Did he drink last night? He felt lightheaded but not hungover.
He ambled to his bathroom and splashed cold water on his face. It felt so good on his skin, waking the rest of him up. He looked into the bathroom mirror as he wiped his face with a cloth and froze. What the hell?
There, on his chest, was a necklace, a silver ring on the end of a silver chain.
Alyx’s necklace.
How the hell did he get this?
“What if you do forget me? What if we step through this door and this becomes just a dream? I can’t forget that…this…us.” How do you hold onto a dream?
“Here.” She pulled her necklace from around her neck and placed something cold in his palm. “It was my mother’s.”
It was a silver ring at the end of a matching chain. It must have been her mother’s wedding ring. “I can’t take it.”
“You can. I want you to. I don’t know how this works. I don’t know whether you can take this back into the real world with you, but I hope you can. I hope you wake up with it…”
Oh my God. The force of the realization caused him to stagger back from his own reflection. It was all real.
Alyx. His Alyx.
She was…
His soulmate. In this life and the last.
He had to get to the hospital. He had to be there when she woke up.
* * *
Israel ran into the hospital elevator and pressed the button for Alyx’s floor, clutching a bunch of sunflowers in his hand. His heart was jittery as he watched the doors sliding close. Hurry the hell up.
Just before they shut, a hand stuck in between them, making them open again with a chirpy ding. Israel ground down his annoyance.
A tall guy wearing a pinstripe suit stepped in carrying the largest bunch of bright pink roses he’d seen in his life. The elevator filled with their cloyingly sweet smell.
Israel could feel the newcomer’s eyes on him as the doors closed.
“Nice flowers,” Suit Guy said.
Israel wasn’t sure whether Suit Guy was being a dick. His sunflowers were probably a tenth as expensive as a huge bunch of roses, but that wasn’t what mattered.
For some reason he couldn’t muster up the energy to pick a fight. Maybe the old Israel would have, but right now he just felt too damn nervous to hate anyone. “Your roses are pretty impressive too. Visiting someone?”
“My fiancée. You?”
The love of my life. No, the love of all my lives. “My…girlfriend. Sort of.”
“Sort of?”
“Well, I hope she’ll be my girlfriend. We only just met,” sort of, “but we have this connection.”
Suit Guy wrinkled his nose. “Connection?”
“This…rightness.”
He raised an eyebrow at Israel.
“I can’t explain it.” In that moment, Israel would not have changed places with Suit Guy. Even with all his money—that fancy tailored suit, polished leather shoes and two dozen long-stemmed roses that didn’t come cheap—this guy didn’t understand what it was like to connect with someone like he had with Alyx. The elevator dinged and Israel was glad he didn’t have to try to explain.
“Well, this is me.” Suit Guy strode out of the elevator. “Good luck with that…er, connection,” he called over his shoulder.
“Thanks.” Israel stepped out of the elevator too. “Hope your fiancée’s okay.”
Israel walked towards the direction of Alyx’s room, his head a whirl. What would he say to her when she woke up? What do you say to someone when you just remembered that they were your soulmate?
What if she didn’t remember him? How would he explain his presence?
That didn’t matter if they were meant for each other, right?
Israel only registered Suit Guy when he barged into Alyx’s room. Israel froze in the middle of the hallway, nurses grumbling as they had to veer aside in order not to run into him. He mumbled his apologies but he was still staring at her hospital room door, now swinging shut.
There was some mistake. Maybe they had moved her?
Israel walked to the door with lead in his shoes and peered inside the square glass window.
There was no mistake. Alyx was there, eyes closed, hair like a dark fan around her head on her pillow and Suit Guy was standing by her bed.
Suit Guy was Alyx’s fiancé.
Alyx had a fiancé?
She never said anything to him about it. In fact she said she didn’t have a boyfriend. Why would she lie to him? His heart refused to accept what his eyes were seeing. He felt totally numb.
The fiancé slid his bouquet of roses into a vase on her bedside and spent a few moments arranging them. Even as Alyx lay there.
Israel couldn’t help the snarl pulling at his top lip. Doesn’t he know that sunflowers were her favorite flowers?
Alyx couldn’t marry someone who didn’t even know what her favorite flowers were.
She should be with me.
Adere’s voice from inside the Maze of Whispers repeated in his mind. “Do you think she’d still want you if she knew the truth? What you failed to do? Who you have become?”
The bottom dr
opped out of his stomach. Who was he kidding? Alyx was an intelligent, fierce and passionate woman. He was just a lowlife. He didn’t deserve her. The sunflowers slid out of his grasp and fell to the floor with a soft patter, each one containing his happiness. He turned robotically and walked away, sunflower petals crushing underneath his feet.
Alyx felt the presence beside her and she floated up towards it like a diver rising up to the surface after being underwater too long.
Israel.
Her heart skipped a beat. She could actually hear it skip then back into a regular series of beeps. A smile pulled at her face as she opened her eyes and the man before her came into focus. Shock poured all over her like ice water. It wasn’t Israel staring down at her but Daniel.
Where was Israel?
“Hey, honey.” Daniel flashed a white, toothy grin at her. With boyish features and honey-blonde hair parted precisely and swept to one side, she had always thought that he looked too polished.
“Hey.”
“You were hit on your head by a falling stone. Do you remember?”
Alyx nodded. The flashes of the last four seasons in the “dream” hurtled through her head. She remembered, alright. She remembered everything. Where was Israel?
“How are you feeling?” Daniel asked.
God, stop asking such stupid questions. “Like I was hit on the head by a falling gargoyle.”
“I wasn’t able to come in last night when they told me; a deadline, you know how it is, but they said you hadn’t woken up anyway. You understand, right?”
“Sure.”
“But I thought I’d stop in today on my way to work. Just in time to see my darling wake up. They were a little concerned about you for a while. I bought you flowers.”
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