“Drink?” Luke questioned smoothly, nudging Emily’s shoulder. “We have Perrier or ginger ale, or if you’d prefer, a crisp Sauvignon Blanc. I picked it up on my travels to California last spring. The flavor’s robust, but subtle enough to—”
“Shut the hell up. Just shut up!”
Emily whipped out a small spiral notebook and stubby pencil from the messenger bag she wore across her body like armor. “Exhibits rage at slightest irritation. Demonstrates extreme lack of patience. What are your physical symptoms?”
“Right now? Only one. My hands are itching to encircle your scrawny throat.”
She smirked and continued to write. “Eyes are red. Fangs exposed. Shows insufficient level of control.”
“Oh, I have plenty of control. If I didn’t, you’d be lying drained on the floor.”
Luke shifted from foot to foot, clearly uneasy. “Kellan, come on. Seriously. Lighten up.”
“What he said. Besides, doesn’t sex usually relax your kind? The room practically reeks of it.”
“Sex relaxes your kind, too. If you ever had any, you’d know.”
Emily didn’t reply, but she pushed her pencil into the pad until the tip snapped.
Pleased to see one of his arrows had finally pierced her seemingly impenetrable shield, Kellan leaned back in his chair. “You’re a girl,” he said at length.
“Let me check.” To his utter surprise, she bent over and flipped up her plaid skirt as if to verify that fact. “Yep,” she said cheerfully. “Appears so.”
Good God, he couldn’t believe he was about to ask Emily, of all people, this question. But he was desperate. “If a man was in love with you, and told you so in the midst of—”
“In flagrante delicto.” She motioned for him to continue.
“Yes. How would you respond?”
She crossed her legs and tapped her short, unpolished nails on the arm of her chair. “I assume we’re talking about Sydney.”
“How much did you pay for that fancy university education?” At Luke’s pointed glance, he rolled his eyes. “Fine. Yes. I’m talking about Sydney.”
“She’s half human. Which means she may not subscribe to your vampire belief system. The love-for-all-eternity jazz.” She shrugged. “She might just like sleeping with you.”
“It’s hardly jazz. Do you understand that we are no different than animals who bond for life? I can name scores of them. And as such, once we find the one we recognize to be our eternal mate, there can be no other. For either of us.”
“For vampires, that may well be true. I understand that the vampire is closer to its animal nature than any human. But she’s not only vampire. Not only human. And perhaps that means that she doesn’t view mating the same way you do.”
Kellan hated to consider it, but her logic made a lot of sense. “So that means her human side must be taken out of the equation,” he said simply. “She must be turned into a full vampire.”
The bathroom door opened and Sydney emerged. Somehow she appeared years older than when she’d left him. Deep grooves lined her eyes, which only emphasized her unnatural pallor. Her eyes were a red-rimmed green and stared deep into his.
Her beauty, the quiet tragedy of it, tore holes inside him. They might as well have been alone in the bedroom, because the others simply ceased to exist. He saw only her. Transfixed, he almost didn’t notice the boxes she cradled in her arms.
“No need for these.” Her voice rang with false cheer. He could tell it was false because the expression in her eyes was utterly desolate. “Sorry you wasted your money.”
Without a glance for Lucas or Emily, she marched over to the trash receptacle in the kitchen and unloaded the pregnancy tests. Then she strode to the bed and began pulling items from the drawer beside the nightstand.
“What are you doing?” He spoke before the panic that threatened to dig its tentacles into his chest had a chance to take root. “You should be resting.”
“I’m done resting. I feel better. Thank you for taking care of me.”
Stay calm. But the internal warning did nothing to lessen the growing anger that had begun to war with the fear. She thought she could just stroll out and leave him? As if he’d been some sort of caretaker rather than the man she’d just mated with?
He rose and without removing his gaze from Sydney, threw out a command. “Lucas, Emily. Leave us.”
For once Emily didn’t make some snarky comment. Nor did she wait for Lucas to make her exit. Kellan was willing to bet the two of them had been eager to escape.
He waited until he was sure his voice would be steady. “Where are you going to go?”
“Home.” She piled her clothes on the bed, then snatched at the canvas bag he’d used to carry her belongings. She hadn’t had much. “I called Tate and my apartment hasn’t been rented yet.”
“I told the landlord—”
“I lived there three years. Apparently he couldn’t find someone to move in that quick, even after you bought out my lease.”
He wouldn’t let the rage overtake him, not yet. She had to be confused, and she was in a fragile, weakened state.
Most importantly, he loved her. There could be no doubt about that. And because he did, he wouldn’t overreact. Wouldn’t scare her and possibly irreparably damage their relationship.
“Who is Tate? And how did you manage to call anyone, let alone a man?”
“Tate is my boyfriend.” She didn’t say ex-boyfriend, though he waited for her to tack the prefix onto the phrase. But no. She stared at him, openly daring him to challenge her. “We’ve been together two months. He wants me to come home.”
She’s afraid. Out of her element. She has no idea what’s she’s doing.
Kellan closed his eyes. Whatever his rationalizations, he didn’t think anything could subdue the torrent of feelings inside him. Even his bones seemed to rattle with his building fury.
“You slept with me, with us, numerous times. What kind of relationship must you have with him?” He could not, would not, speak his name. “And I repeat: how did you call him? There isn’t a phone in the bathroom.”
“You left your cell in the pants hanging on the back of the door. And speaking of which, I know you’ve had my phone all this time. Hard to worry about things like cell phones when death seemed imminent, but now? I want it back.”
He cursed under his breath. While he’d been worrying about her, she’d been whispering on the phone to her boyfriend. And she had to have been whispering while he’d been yelling at Luke and Emily, because he would have heard her otherwise.
Lucky thing. If she was scared now, ripping the door off the hinges probably wouldn’t have helped.
“Yes, I kept your phone for safekeeping. And I called your job to let them know you’d had an emergency and would contact them once you’re available to work again. Which I really don’t think is a good idea. Ever. Now that you’re one of—”
She held up a hand. “Don’t go there, buddy. Not even hearing it.”
“I understand you’re frightened.”
“You understand?” She barked out a laugh as she zipped the bag. She hadn’t bothered to pack the clothes he’d hung in his closet, but she seemed more interested in speed than in gathering everything. “I don’t think so. I don’t think you can fathom even a glimmer of what I’m going through.” Her eyes glittered for a moment, then she blinked and they were clear once again. “You picked up a plaything on the side of the road. We played. Now I’m leaving, just as soon as you give me my goddamn phone.”
He didn’t want to give up that link to her and her life, but he didn’t see much choice. After retrieving her cell and handing it over to her, he stood back as she stormed to the door. That she wore only her thin nightgown seemed to be the least of her concerns.
“You need blood.” And so saying, he noticed that the drops of his own that had dotted her gown after their enthusiastic round of oral sex were gone. Only damp streaks remained. “You can deny your need for me, but y
our latency will exist whether we’re together or not.”
“Let me worry about myself.”
“You won’t last without blood.” His voice shook. Whether it was from rage or fear, he couldn’t say. “You will die.”
Without another glance in his direction, Sydney closed the door behind her.
Even from halfway down the street, Lucas heard Kellan’s howl. The sound went on and on, an unending bellow of pure emotion. He winced as he watched the reason for Kellan’s rage slip out the side door and run to an idling Saab that waited in the alley.
After the car zoomed away, the racket continued. If that hellacious noise wasn’t enough, Lucas could hear their furniture being thrown around like oversized Tinkertoys.
“Christ,” he muttered. “He’s going to get us taken out.”
Vampires had existed side by side with humans for so long—amongst them, really—because they knew how to be discreet. Hence the reason so many had turned to bagged blood. It was damned inconvenient to search out a warm pipeline every time the need struck. Then there was the discovery factor. Sure, most vamps who weren’t still wet behind the fangs could wipe the minds of their sources after feeding, but the effort took energy. Energy required more blood, and ideally, sex. Lovers were easier to acquire than tappable veins, but still, too many of their kind settled for burying their dick in whatever hole happened to be available. Male, female…most weren’t that choosy.
Until they found their mate. After that, everyone else seemed like a poor, bloodless imitation.
As a new howl rent the air, he cursed and pivoted to head toward home. Then he saw Emily cowering at his side, her hands clamped over her ears as if he’d threatened her with his own fists.
“What? What is it?”
She shook her head mutely, but her posture—and that whole cradling her head thing—spoke volumes. His instinct to comfort arose immediately, but he stifled it before she could growl and bite. This wasn’t a normal woman with normal urges. This was Emily Yost. From what he’d seen, she got more excited over new book shipments at the library than she did over red-blooded males.
Unless they had fangs. He ran his tongue over his own, still hooded in his mouth. Fangs they hadn’t lied to her about having.
“I need to go to him,” he said gently, wondering if she could even hear him over Kellan’s enraged shouts.
“Aren’t you afraid?”
“Of Kellan? No.” He covered her hands with his and drew them away from her ears. “It would probably be best if you went back to the library without me.”
As if she cared. She hadn’t wanted him to walk her back any more than she’d wanted to walk with him to the house he shared with Kellan. The only reason she had agreed to it was curiosity, plain and simple. Vampires fascinated her, and she seemed willing to tolerate Lucas’s lowly presence as long as she got the opportunity to study one first hand.
Little did she know she was getting two-for-one out of the deal.
A rare flash of uncertainty crossed her lush features. She wasn’t traditionally beautiful. Her mouth was too wide, her eyes too far apart. But the intelligence in them combined with the fleeting smiles he’d glimpsed once or twice—he lived for those smiles—granted her unspeakable beauty.
To him, she was the most gorgeous creature that had ever existed.
“Maybe you shouldn’t go in there alone. Unarmed.”
“I’ll be fine.” With effort, he released her hands at her sides. That she hadn’t yanked them free shocked him, but right then, he couldn’t concentrate on anything but his best friend.
Not even Emily.
She gripped his wrist as he turned to go, her eyes sleet gray and imploring. “Wait.” She dug into her purse and came up with a small can of pepper spray, which she pressed into his palm. “It should slow him down long enough for you to escape. Aim directly for the eyes.”
It was silly to be touched, but he was. And he also felt guilty as hell he’d lied to her about his true identity. That had been before he’d guessed the level of her interest in vamps. Now he was beginning to think his telling her he wasn’t a bloodsucker had been a mistake, and not just because it didn’t bode well for their future relationship. Not that he had any way of knowing that they would even have a future relationship.
Something crashed through a side window, which finally dislodged him from his thoughts. “I gotta go.”
He gazed down at her and followed impulse once more. Before she had time to protest, he laid his lips on her forehead. The contact lasted seconds. Long enough for her to stiffen and her eyes to widen like twin searchlights.
The last thing he heard as he strode toward the front door was her whispered, “Be careful.”
Sydney stared straight ahead while Tate maneuvered through the twisty streets that surrounded Kellan and Lucas’s place. She could’ve sworn she still heard the inhuman sound he’d made at her leaving.
Inhuman. Of course. Kellan was nothing more than a wild animal, and he’d tried to make her into one, too. Did he think she hadn’t heard him plotting to change her on the other side of that closed bathroom door? And for what? Just so he could more easily manipulate her feelings for his own ends.
She wouldn’t stand for it. He wasn’t her “sire”. She hadn’t been turned, and she would figure out a way to forget she’d ever known Kellan Barstow and Lucas Phillips.
Somehow, she would wipe them from her mind. And divest herself of the aching hunger that already shredded her stomach with iron claws.
“Did he rape you?” Tate kept his voice carefully neutral. “Or force you to do something you weren’t comfortable doing?”
Oh, I was very comfortable. That was part of the problem.
She didn’t answer. She honestly didn’t know if she could speak without bawling. How positively mortifying. She’d never been a weepy girl, but she’d lost all control.
“You have blood on the hem of your nightgown,” he continued in that same flat tone. “Streaks on your thighs. I saw it when you got into the car.”
“Let it go.”
“No, I won’t let it go. I feel responsible, Syd. It’s my fault you turned to that animal after you found Jed and I in—” He stopped, shook himself. “I just want you to know that’s over. It won’t happen again.”
She hadn’t asked. His relationship with her closest friend simply didn’t matter anymore. “Why?”
“Why?” He turned his face toward hers. His hazel eyes were shadowed and heavy, but she noted the fact with a detached interest rather than concern. She felt tapped out emotionally, unable to give any more of herself to anyone. “Because I’m not gay.”
Wearily, she pressed her cheek against the back of her hand. Just like I’m not a vampire.
“Say something.”
“You are what you are, Tate. Pretending otherwise changes nothing.”
“Easy for you to say. Your whole world hasn’t just been turned upside down by something you never expected.”
“You’d be surprised,” she said quietly.
“Sydney—”
“I know you’re having trouble believing this, but I honestly don’t care what happened between you and Jed. It’s not even on my radar. If the two of you want to be together, you have my blessing. If you don’t, well, that’s on you.”
He flipped on his turn signal as he idled at the entrance of her apartment building’s parking lot. “You’re serious.”
“Deadly.” She shifted to face him after he pulled into a space. “I appreciate you coming to get me. If you wouldn’t mind, maybe you could come by now and then to…check on me. Make sure everything’s okay.”
Tate turned off the car. “Why? Is that guy you ran away from hassling you? The crazy one with the gold eyes?”
Gold eyes. Just the memory she didn’t need. But she remembered just the same. Remembered waking up with her head on Kellan’s chest to see him devouring her with an expression as weighty as a caress.
“He’s not crazy.” Insanely p
ossessive, yes. Crazy? No. Unless she considered the whole idea of vampires crazy, but that was hard to do when even now bloodlust cramped her belly.
“He looked it.”
“Appearances aren’t everything, Tate.”
“Then what? If he’s not the problem, what is?”
She hissed out a breath. “I’ve developed some health issues.”
He rested a hand on her bare knee. “Oh, honey. Is that why…the blood….” His jaw went tight. “You weren’t pregnant, were you?”
She shook her head frantically. “God no. It wasn’t that.” And she couldn’t bear to think about the possibility even for a moment longer. “Just check on me. Please. Maybe in the mornings, before you head to work. I know it’s a burden, but—”
“No, it’s not. I owe you. Have you seen a doctor?”
“No doctors.” She fought a shudder.
“Okay. I’m just so grateful you contacted me. I left you so many voicemails. When you never called back, I was afraid something had happened. Well, something worse than what made you leave.”
He wasn’t the only one who had called. A quick check of her phone had revealed many missed texts and messages from friends and coworkers. They all equaled more concern than she could deal with at the moment.
Maybe ever.
She forced her tense shoulders to relax. “I’m sorry you were worried.”
“It’s all okay now.” Tate leaned in and brushed his lips over her forehead. “I talked to your landlord. He left a key under the mat for you.”
“Thank you.” Her eyes misted—what else was new?—but she blinked fast before any tears could fall. “I appreciate this more than you realize.”
“I hurt you. We hurt you. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay. Really. If you speak to Jed, please tell him that for me.” She took the hand he held out and squeezed his fingers. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning.”
“Yes.” He waited until she’d gotten out of the car before he spoke. “Syd?”
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