Duh. Of course I do. Luckily he’d gained enough sense to resist explaining that not only did he have fangs, but that he’d had them for thirty-plus years. But she didn’t know that. To her, he’d been newly changed.
Apparently, his Judases had kept his secret. How charming.
Lucas swallowed and willed both his erection and his fangs to retreat. He seriously doubted he’d have a need for either anytime soon. “Why were you crying?”
She rubbed a hand between her breasts. Only then did he notice her attire, an almost sheer pale pink nightgown with tiny bows on the shoulders and over the nipples.
He’d seen those nipples earlier, when she’d been touching herself. Her small breasts had pressed against her gown, their full outline silhouetted in blush silk. While he’d watched, she’d bared them almost as if they were a gift for his enjoyment, though her eyes had been as blurry as an alcoholic’s during a bender.
He’d been tempted. He was a man, after all, along with being a vampire. But then he’d taken in the whole of the scene in front of him, and the rage had won.
Still, the memory was enough to coax his cock back to brutal attention. Lucas had to cough to smother a laugh at Emily’s alarmed expression.
“Your fault,” he said again, keeping his voice easy. From her perch at the edge of his king-sized bed, she looked like a startled, fragile bird. “You’re the one sitting there almost naked after you started me up.”
“Please, don’t. I know I made a mistake. I thought if I read the literature, I’d be able to get a handle on my—” She seemed completely lost for words. Very unlike her.
“Needs?”
“Yes.”
“You’ve denied yours for awhile. Becoming a vampire—” even the word tasted foul “—will only intensify them.”
“Shouldn’t I be telling you this?” Emily let out a dry laugh. “Since you’ve been a vampire even less time than I have?”
As he understood, he closed his eyes. Apparently she thought Sydney’s bite had been enough to change him, which meant Syd must’ve held on for a while. Emily, better than any of them, knew that it took a matter of minutes and the loss of a lot of blood for a susceptible human to be tainted with vampirism, so his ex-best friend’s woman must have made quite a good show out of gouging his neck and then feeding him her blood after. Something he barely recalled.
Goddamn latent blood. It was worse than cheap vodka.
“Are you sleeping with Kellan?” he asked when he’d regained some hold over of his emotions. “And/or his girlfriend?” he added.
She didn’t answer for so long that he wondered if that was all the answer he needed. Then she rose and walked to the curtains, drawing them back enough that the watery light of dawn haloed her thick dark hair.
“It hurts,” she said, almost to herself. But she didn’t move. “The light burns, just a little.”
“Stay there longer and it’ll hurt more.” Frustration eked through his tone as he tugged at his cuffs. He could break the lock with little more than a thought, but that probably wouldn’t cement his rep as a new vamp. “In time, your skin will toughen up a bit and you’ll be able to walk outside in sunlight for short periods. But it’ll never be like it was. You’ll never be able to tan on a beach unless your preferred look is extra crispy.”
She turned back to him but she didn’t close the curtains. He knew the sun’s contact had to hurt her, but she seemed to welcome the burn. “Why do you care if I sleep with Kellan or Sydney? What does it matter to you?”
“Maybe I’m curious where the mouth—that was just on my cock—was last,” he said with a shrug, but there was nothing lighthearted about the statement.
He wanted to know. Needed to. And if she gave him the wrong answer, he’d rip this goddamned bed apart. Then he’d track down his deceitful friend and finish the job he’d begun last night.
She didn’t blush, but she did glance away again. “I wish I could take that back.”
Of course she did. Didn’t it just figure? Their first intimate contact, even if it had been mainly one-sided, and she wanted to pretend it had never happened. “You can’t.”
“When your mind clears, you’ll be angry, understandably so. I took advantage of you when you couldn’t fight me off.” She looped her arms around her waist, hugging herself. “I could forgive myself anything but that.”
“Jesus, woman, are you daft?”
Her head snapped up and her eyes smoked for a moment before the irritation slid away behind ice. “Excuse me?”
“My mind is as clear as it’s ever been. I liked you sucking me. Had you not stopped when you did, you would’ve swallowed my enjoyment.”
For an instant, he thought she would smile. The heaviness of her expression lightened, but then she pursed her lips and shook her head. “You think an orgasm means that your choice wasn’t taken away? It doesn’t. My actions were inexcusable, no matter how you looked lying in that bed. So pale, but still so strong. A sleeping warrior.”
Before he could process what she’d said, she shook herself and strode over to the open suitcase on the highback chair beside the window. Drab, mud-colored clothes spilled out in every direction, but she seemed to know exactly what she was looking for. Without a whit of hesitation, she stripped the nightgown over her head and donned huge white granny panties, an ankle-length olive green skirt and a baggy matching sweater that almost completely obscured the twin globes of her ass.
Perfect twin globes, of which she’d given him barely a second’s glimpse before hiding their glory beneath hideously ugly polyester.
She bundled her hair up in its typical bun, securing it with pins and a clip without benefit of a mirror. Then she slipped her feet into what he’d always thought of her grandma combat boots, lacing them up to the knee with unerring speed. He was still admiring her grace and economy of movement when she snapped the suitcase shut and hauled it to the door.
Faint panic tickled the back of his throat. “Where are you going? You’re not going to leave me like this!” Or leave me at all.
“Syd and Kellan will take care of you. You’ll be fine.” She looked back with her hand on the knob. “I know I don’t act very friendly toward you most of the time, but that’s because—”
“Because?” he prompted. He had to keep her talking. If he didn’t, she would walk out that door and keep going, and he had a feeling she didn’t intend to hang around. Something about her tone spoke of finality, and oh hell no, this was not over between them.
“You frighten me.” A ghost of a smile curved her mouth. “All men do, to some extent. But you, most of all. I never understood why.”
His fingers flexed and curled into his palm. Only the thinnest razor blade of control was keeping him in place. “Are you afraid of me now?”
“More than ever.” She let out a long breath and knocked on the door. “I really am sorry, Lucas.”
“Emily.” Urgency laced the word as she knocked again. “Goddammit, Emily, wait. We have to talk. There’s something you don’t kn—”
The door opened and she stepped through, but not before he saw Sydney on the other side, watching him as if he were a dangerous predator.
“Syd, uncuff me. Now.” It took everything to hold back the beast inside him that wanted to rage. “If you do, I might let you live.”
She stared at him coolly. “I’m afraid that’s not possible right now, Luke.”
He rattled the cuffs and raised his brows. “I’ll just rip them off. You know I can. And then where will you and your lover be?”
“You’re not going to do any such thing. Because if you do—” she lifted the gun she held in her right hand “—I’m going to make sure you stay down for good.”
He laughed, but the sound came out harsh and bitter. “A gunshot can’t kill me, sweetheart. Better bone up on your research in between boning Kellan.”
“No, one won’t kill you, but a full clip will slow you down, especially if you don’t get any blood to make up for what you
lose.” As a door opened and shut behind her, she strolled into the room and closed his bedroom door. “But I really don’t want to do that.”
“Did she leave?” Lucas blew his damp hair out of his eyes. Dear God, he was sweating. “Where is she going? She shouldn’t be alone now. Goddamn you both!”
“Shut up. Just shut up. She’s about as willing to listen to reason as you are.” Almost wearily, Syd dropped down at the end of the bed and rubbed her forehead with the butt of her gun. Only then did he realize it was a BB gun. “Are you going to let me explain? Will you give me that much?”
His foot was inches from her. With one kick, he could knock her into unconsciousness, if he timed it right. He didn’t want to listen. He sure as hell couldn’t stand the thought of lying in bed while the woman he loved just strolled away.
He’d let her call the shots before. Her fear and mistrust of him had dictated the speed of their non-relationship, but those days were through. Somehow, walking in on the scene he’d witnessed the night before had cleared up a lot of things for him, and the number one thing was Emily.
She was his. And he damn well was going to claim her as such, even if Kellan had taken away his right to turn his mate. It didn’t matter. She might be forever bonded to her sire, but he intended to make sure she understood there was another bond she needed to recognize.
“You do realize I know that’s a BB gun, right?” he asked in a low voice, his ears pricking at the sound of Emily’s boots clomping down the sidewalk. Each step she took away from him felt like ten miles.
“It’ll still hurt.”
“Yeah, sure.” His eyes narrowed upon the woman he’d grown fond of and he shook his head. “How could you allow him to sire her? Do you want to share him, Syd? Do you have any idea what that means?”
“First of all, I’m not sharing him. She’s not interested in Kellan sexually.”
Lucas scoffed under his breath. “Oh yeah? Then what was that scene I saw last night?”
“She watched. She was newly turned, and surely you remember the appetites that arouses. If she wasn’t so incredibly strong, she would’ve given in to more, but she resisted.”
He recalled waking to the sensation of Emily’s mouth on his cock, sucking him into ecstasy, and breathed through his nose until the mental image dissolved. Other parts of him didn’t forget as easily. “You let him turn her.”
“He had no choice. And if anyone is to blame for turning Emily, it’s her.” Sydney didn’t blink when he fastened his gaze hotly on hers. “She demanded I turn her when we were alone at the coffee shop two nights ago. Kellan wasn’t even there.”
“You?” He choked back a laugh. “You can’t turn anyone. You’re not even a full vamp yourself.”
Her cheeks reddened. “Maybe not, but when she slashed her own throat with a knife after I refused to try to change her, my not-even-a-full-vamp impulses definitely kicked in. I tried to keep a hold of myself, but it had been so long since I’d tasted real blood.”
“You drained her.”
“Damned close.” She bowed her head and closed her eyes. “If Kellan hadn’t come by and fixed it, she would have died. And yes, I bear some responsibility for that. I should have thrown her out of the coffee shop when she asked me, but she was so desperate that I couldn’t say no.”
“Oh yeah, he fixed it, all right. He sired my mate, which made him a hero in your eyes and indebted yet another naïve female to him. Canny bastard, isn’t he?”
“He lost much more than he gained.”
“What the hell does that mean?”
“I’m not a full vamp. You said it yourself. I have no true sire. Yet.” She stared at him. “Would you deny me if I asked?”
His mind reeled. Dear God, he hadn’t even thought about Sydney. If she wanted to embrace being a vampire, she’d need a sire that wasn’t Kellan.
Would he do that? Could he? Even if he took their betrayal out of the equation, was he prepared to accept what being Sydney’s sire would mean? For all of them?
Before he could answer, a deep voice came from the doorway. “Sydney, leave us. Lucas and I need to talk.”
Luke clenched his fists. Just who he wanted to talk to, although he would prefer another method of communication altogether. Preferably one that involved lots of spilled blood.
“I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”
“I am.” Kellan strode into the room and cupped Sydney’s shoulders. He kissed her forehead with a gentleness that made Lucas even more furious. The rift between them seemed to have magically healed in the twenty-four hours he’d been out of town. “We’ll be fine.”
“Don’t forget to give him your pathetic excuse of a gun,” Lucas called as she sailed out of the room.
Kellan shut the door with a firm click and faced the bed. “You look like hell.”
“As do you.” But it wasn’t true. So much for the beating and the fangplay they’d engaged in the night before. Kellan looked daisy fresh in his loose navy pajama bottoms. His hair was wet, as Sydney’s had been.
Nice to know they’d been washing away their troubles while he’d been bound and locked up. Amazing they hadn’t invited Emily to join in.
“I wouldn’t have changed her if I’d had any choice. Good God, Luke, don’t you know me enough by now to believe that?”
The quiet question slid through him and settled in the pit of his stomach like a lead weight. Now he was supposed to feel guilty? “What did you expect me to think? I’d been gone less than a day, and I come back to a goddamned orgy in my own bedroom. One I hadn’t been invited to, by the way.”
“Would that have made a difference?”
“I don’t know.”
Right then, he honestly didn’t. He was attracted to Syd, and he’d had no problem sharing her with Kellan. Could he do the same with Emily? If he sired Sydney—which he hadn’t even begun to really consider—would they become some sort of permanent foursome, living in a haze of sex and blood and embracing their complete ostracism from society?
“Why did you come back?”
Lucas hissed out a breath. “I had a feeling, okay? I’d barely landed in L.A. when the sense of dread hit. I tried calling you. You never answered. I even called Syd. Same response. By the time I got here, I half-expected to find both of you drained and past any hope. Instead, I found cable channel number sixty-nine, being reenacted in my own bedroom.” He shook his head. “You can’t be surprised at my reaction. Imagine you were me, walking in while Sydney was—”
“I didn’t touch Emily,” Kellan said evenly. “Other than the bite in the heart to bring her back and giving her my blood the first time, I didn’t even feed her. It was all Sydney. And Sydney didn’t have sex with her, either. Though if she did, I hardly see how that could be perceived as my fault. But apparently everything is. Nuclear warming, acid rain, global poverty. What else am I responsible for?”
“Oh, put a sock in it. And unlock these freaking cuffs. If I wanted to kill you, you’d already be dead.”
“That’s what you think. You didn’t kill me last night.”
“Only because your she-vamp nearly ripped off my head.”
A smile played around Kellan’s mouth as he pulled a key out of the pocket of his pajamas. “She was something, wasn’t she?”
“Yeah, and that’s only at half-strength. Imagine her as a full vamp. We should warn all of Nettles.”
“Funny.” Kellan slipped the key into the cuffs’ lock, but he didn’t turn it. Instead he stared at Lucas. “You threatened to kill Sydney. That’s why I faltered long enough for you to get past my guard. It’s a powerful threat, the loss of one’s mate.”
“No kidding. And while I’m lying here shooting the shit with you, mine’s strolling off to God knows where to do God knows what, and neither you nor Syd seem willing to bat a lash about it.”
“You have to let her make her choices. I assume you told her about your being her mate while you two were alone in here for so long? We heard….” Kellan�
��s hesitation proved he’d heard quite a bit more than he was letting on. “So we went to take a soak, to give you some privacy.”
“A true gentleman.” Lucas swore as Kellan finally unlocked the cuffs and freed his wrists. He shoved up in bed and kicked aside the sheets, only then noticing his pants were still wide open and his boxers pulled down. Lovely. With a grunt, he pushed himself back into his shorts and zipped up, then leaped out of bed. “To answer your question, no, I didn’t tell her I was her mate. I’d kind of hoped she could discover that on her own as we spent time together, which of course we’ve barely done.”
Kellan let out a breath. “Normally, I would agree.”
“Oh, sure.” Luke snorted as he swapped his blood-stained shirt for another black linen one exactly like the first. “God knows you’re all about giving a woman choice.”
Kellan ignored him. “No woman wants to be forced into a relationship, especially when you start throwing words like destiny around.”
“Well, we wouldn’t have to throw anything around if they’d accept what they feel.” Lucas finished doing up the buttons and cast a look over his shoulder at Kellan. “They do feel it, don’t they? Just as strongly as we do?”
Kellan shrugged. “Having never been a female vampire, I can’t say. But my research says yes. Usually the loss of control around your mate is the first sign, but sometimes the signals are more subtle.”
“Yeah, well, I’ve been all about the subtle. And today I got a ‘you frighten me’, which is as good as I’ve gotten so far.” He paced to the window and twitched back the curtain, hoping to catch a glimpse of Emily walking down the street. She didn’t have a car, and the window offered an unobstructed view of the road for quite a ways. But apparently she’d acquired vampire speed, because she was out of sight.
Either that or she’d deliberately run from him. That wouldn’t surprise him, either.
“Why would she be so desperate to become a vampire?” he asked softly, gazing out at the empty street. His retinas burned as the sun began to climb over the eastern horizon, but he didn’t alter his stance.
“Sydney won’t tell me what they are, but apparently Emily has her reasons.”
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