“But it’s your own fear that’s the problem now, though? Not Simon.”
“Yeah…” She lifted her head and gazed at his kind face. “You seem to understand what I’m saying.”
“I’m trying to.”
“It’s so nice to be able to talk to you. It’s a relief to tell someone, because it’s the shame of it that keeps it alive – I know I seem like a confident businesswoman, but inside I’m dealing with the random assault of terror on myself– so I try and hide it, pretending it’s not happening. But that makes it worse. I haven’t really told anyone else. I trust you for some reason… I don’t know why.”
She smiled into his eyes, feeling her defenses fall away. It felt wonderful to be vulnerable with another person, rather than trying to be hard and in control all the time.
He caressed her face. “You’ve nothing to be ashamed of, Astrid. He should be ashamed of himself for doing this to you.”
“I’m just so glad he doesn’t know where I live. But sometimes I get the feeling I’m being followed – then when I turn around, there’s no one there. I think I’m going crazy!”
He kissed her on the head. “You’re not crazy. In fact, I think you’re one of the most amazing women I’ve ever met.”
She smiled shyly. “Thanks.”
“Guys like Simon don’t deserve to have a woman like you in their life. Guys who bully women are the lowest scum of the earth.”
“Thank you for saying that, Jake. But – I’ve thought about this a lot – and I guess Simon’s holding onto so much pain himself – he’s told me things about his own past that would make you understand why he behaves like that. I’m not saying it’s okay for him to treat me or anyone badly. But it helps me to move on if I can create some understanding. You see what I’m saying?”
“Yeah, I see what you’re saying – you’re nicer than I am.”
She laughed at his self-depreciation. “We’re all just acting out the traumas of our pasts, aren’t we?”
“Maybe. I guess we must all have these dark things from our past we’re protecting, huh?”
“You have a dark past?”
“Sweetheart, there are things about me you won’t like at all. Things to really be ashamed of.”
She opened her mouth to ask him to elaborate, but he kissed her on the lips.
“I’d love to see you lose control in pleasure now,” he said. “To counteract the bad dream.”
She grinned. “Again?”
“You don’t want to?”
“Oh yeah, I definitely do!”
“Well, come here then, beautiful…”
Chapter Seven
Jake woke up early the next morning and gazed at Astrid as she slept peacefully in a shaft of dawn sunlight. His heart filled with affection – but it twisted with sadness knowing he had to leave. He wanted to kiss her, but he didn’t want an awkward ‘goodbye’, so he eased himself out of bed, left her a note, then went back to his place to shower and shave.
Satisfied he looked half-decent, he left for work, with the words he’d written for her running over in his head. He parked the car and made his way along the busy sunshine-filled sidewalk toward Quinlan Brothers headquarters, wondering how she’d react…
Astrid, there’s something I need to take care of out of town, but we’ll see each other again. Here’s my number…
He knew it was the most unromantic note in the history of love letters, but he wanted to go find his fortune – to get that out of his system – then come back and tell her the truth about everything he’d been up to. Obviously she wasn’t going to like it, but he’d try to make her understand. He still believed that he wasn’t the guy she was looking for, but she was the woman he wanted… Perhaps somehow they could make this work.
It was crowded on this Manhattan street today, and he tried to imagine how Astrid would feel about being among this throng… but it was impossible to understand, because he didn’t have that fear himself. He wanted to get her, though. To know her entirely – body and soul. And he wanted to help her see herself through his eyes – to see the amazing woman she truly was. He wanted to help her feel ‘normal’ again. And he knew she could do the same for him.
Reality clouded Jake’s Astrid-induced happiness, landing him back to earth with a thud. Before he did anything else, he needed to tell Adam and Dylan what he’d done. And he needed to give them the last piece of info he’d gleaned from Astrid’s emails – which was what he’d actually been heading here to do yesterday when he’d bumped into her. And then he would tell them he was quitting.
They were going to be furious when they found out he’d slept with her. His mind reeled with how to handle this. What he needed was some guidance from a big brother. Unfortunately, two of his big brothers were potentially about to kill him, so he pulled out his phone, and called Ivan.
“Hey, Jake.”
“Listen, don’t freak out, but I slept with the health and safety woman who Adam and Dylan are paying me to trail.”
“You’re kidding! I knew you were gonna be trouble.”
Jake chuckled, dodging through the crowd. “She’s so beautiful, Ivan.”
“All right, look, what’s done is done. Now you need to tell Adam and Dylan straight, huh? It’s always best to be honest.”
“Hmm… I knew you were gonna say that.”
“You want me to talk to them?”
“Nah, I’d better do it myself. Be a man, and all that. But seriously, she’s hot. You would’ve done it too in my position.”
“Not me.”
“I know. How’s Samira?”
Jake heard his brother smile. “Perfect. And she’s just had a letter from the immigration department. She can stay.”
Joy skidded through Jake’s heart. He loved Samira, especially after everything they’d been through together this summer. Was that only this summer? It seemed like so long ago. “That’s awesome, Ivan. You, Samira, and Quin can rest happy. Please give her my love.”
“I will… and we were hoping to start work on making a daughter…”
Jake laughed as he strolled through the revolving door, into Quinlan HQ. “Right, I’ll leave you to it. I’d better go fess up to Adam and Dylan.”
“Just be honest with them. And be ready with an apology. No bullshit.”
“Yeah, thanks, I will.”
“Good luck. I’ll call you soon.”
“If I’m still alive…”
They said their goodbyes, and Jake hung up. He was so pleased things were finally working out for Ivan after everything that had happened in the last eighteen months. Things seemed to be going well for all the family… other than him.
But maybe his bad luck was his own doing. Maybe it was time to change his ways. He realized this wasn’t an occupation that could ever lead to happiness – spying on people, finding out their deepest secrets, but never getting close to anyone. Excitement rushed through him at the prospect of a new life – he’d go on his treasure hunt and find the money that his dad’s gang had buried all those years ago, then come back and sweep Astrid off her feet. Jake was sure the treasure was still out there somewhere and he was determined to find it. If he could secure his fortune, then he could offer her a decent life without needing to rely on his current profession for shady income.
He rode the elevator up to the top floor, then strolled into the lavish offices and saw his brothers bantering by the reception desk. The receptionist was on the phone, trying to ignore them – they could be boisterous when they were in that sort of mood. They both looked happy and relaxed… at the moment.
Their employees were arriving at work around them – buzzing back and forth, setting up for the day. One young man was hovering nearby, wanting their attention, but Jake quickly stepped over and halted in front of them, trumping the young man’s place in line.
“Morning, Jake,” Dylan said. “All good?”
“Yep. Did you hear Ivan’s news?”
Adam’s face lit up. “Just got a message
from him – it’s so great. Samira’s the best thing that ever happened to him. Just like Amy was for me.”
Jake thrust his hands in his pockets. “Yeah… the lucky few, huh?”
Dylan frowned at him. “You okay, buddy?”
“Uh, listen guys… there was an email yesterday that I intercepted of Astrid’s saying…”
“Astrid?” Adam said with a smirk. “I didn’t realize you two were on first-name terms.”
“Ms. Lawrence,” Jake said, correcting himself. “And it seems there’s some insurance claim – an accident at Graves’ plant. It doesn’t sound like the sort of thing I’d want to invest in. Not that it’s my business – I just needed to let you know.”
Dylan pulled out his phone. “Good work, Jake – we’ve been dying to look at this email since Ms. Lawrence mentioned it. Did you forward it to me? I didn’t get the chance to check last night. Sarah and I had that charity soccer thing.”
“Yeah,” Jake said. “I sent it to you. You’ve got it all in writing.”
“This is so helpful,” Adam said. “We’ve been thinking about pulling our investment and this will probably be the final nail in the coffin. We’ll take a look at the email, but I’m pretty sure we’ll be telling Graves ‘no’ at some point today.”
“Glad to hear it. I was about to quit anyway.”
He hadn’t meant to just blurt it out like that. They both stared at him in shock. “You’re quitting?” Dylan asked.
“Sure am. I’m going on my treasure hunt. Dad says he thinks the stash is buried near where I grew up in Paxton – on the outskirts of the City.”
“So you’re leaving?”
“I’ll only be a hundred miles away. And I hope it won’t take long. Ever since Dad confirmed the location of the loot I’ve been dying to do this, but I’ve just been so busy working for you guys…”
“What’s the big hurry to leave town?” Dylan asked. “You in trouble?”
Jake shook his head. He heard the footsteps of another employee coming up behind him – wanting to talk to Adam and Dylan – but their focus was currently glued to Jake. “Look, I’ll be honest with you,” Jake said. “I slept with Astrid.”
Dylan’s expression surged to anger. “Jake! What the hell are you playing at?”
Jake opened his mouth to reply, vaguely aware that Adam was now staring over Jake’s shoulder at whoever was standing there waiting…
****
As Astrid stood behind Jake listening to him bragging to Adam and Dylan about last night, her body filled with fury. Her sense of self expanded then contracted – trying to comprehend what she was hearing. Her skin prickled with an urgency to leave – but first she wanted to kill Jake. She’d trusted him last night – opened up to him! She’d handed her heart – and body – over on a platter, and now this… She felt as if she was watching the three men from afar – like they were on TV and she was a viewer. Her mind whirled, trying to make sense of this…
Not only did Jake know Adam and Dylan… but he was telling them about last night…
She could feel Adam’s eyes drilling into her, but her own glare was currently trying to set the back of Jake’s head alight.
“You slept with her?” Dylan asked, staring at Jake with irritation on his face – oblivious to their audience.
Jake sounded annoyed. “Yeah, I fucked her. What did you expect? She’s a beautiful woman.”
Adam didn’t take his eyes off Astrid. “Er, guys, why don’t we –?”
Dylan folded his arms across his chest. “Well, thanks a fucking lot for potentially screwing up the entire operation, Jake.”
Jake threw a hand to his hip. “I got you those emails, didn’t I? It’s not as easy as you’d think, hacking into emails and bugging phones. Not to mention the dubious legality.”
Adam suddenly grabbed Jake by the shoulder and shook him. “Stop talking, Jake!”
Jake shoved him hard. “Adam, what the fuck are you doing?”
“Just don’t say anything else, okay.”
“Why?”
Dylan glanced up and noticed Astrid too. She was fuming now – she felt as if she was going to spontaneously combust with anger and embarrassment, and burn down the entire Quinlan enterprise. It suddenly all clicked… Simon hadn’t been following her these past few weeks, it was Jake. He’d hacked into her emails, listened to her phone conversations… She clenched her fists, pressing her fingernails into her palms, trying not to faint. He’d said yesterday he was a private investigator – how hilarious that confession must’ve been to him.
Jake followed Dylan’s gaze and casually turned around. His cool expression surged to panic. “Astrid… Oh no. Oh Jeez…”
She held up her hand to silence him. “Don’t fucking bother, Jake. I don’t wanna hear it.”
Adam tried the charm – but it wasn’t going to work this time. “Ms. Lawrence, Jake honestly would never mean to –”
“Mr. Quinlan, I said I don’t want to hear it. I was coming here to tell you I couldn’t make our meeting today because my dad just called me to tell me… well, it’s none of your business…. But I expect you already know anyway, because this asshole’s probably told you all about it. So I’m leaving town, and you know what... I can’t wait to get away from you. All of you.”
She turned on her toes and gathered as much dignity as she could, only caring now about getting back to her hometown after what her dad had just told her. She didn’t allow herself to glance over her shoulder to see what the men were doing – because more than anything she hoped the lying double-crossing bastard Jake would never follow her again.
Chapter Eight
Astrid’s mind churned with shock and dizziness, as she strode across Times Square, heading towards Penn Station, trying to block out the squealing cars, honking cabs, and yabbering businesspeople. She felt as if she’d stepped into a different dimension where reality was jumbled up the wrong way round. Surely this couldn’t be happening? Why had she trusted that bastard? He was working for the fucking Quinlan Brothers!
He was bragging about their night of passion…
She hurried as fast as she could in her heels, partly to escape from Jake, but also because she was being swept along at this manic pace by the tidal-wave of frantic New Yorkers, who were crisscrossing around her like ants on cocaine.
She bit back the tears stinging her eyes, feeling as if she might melt into a million droplets of liquid glass at any moment. She shouldn’t have come this way – it was triggering her anxiety – but she’d been so desperate to get away from Jake that she’d let her feet carry her off.
Above the sound of a fire truck siren, Astrid’s ears pinpointed a man behind her calling her name. “Astrid, wait!”
She ignored him.
He caught up with her and blocked her way – eyes full of concern. “Please, let me explain.”
“I’ve heard enough from you today, thank you!” She tried to dodge around him, but he stepped to the side and blocked her again.
“Astrid, I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“You… you asshole. Get out of my way now, or I’ll… I’ll…”
She gazed into those gorgeous eyes and wanted desperately to kiss him, but instead she drew back her hand and slapped him in the face.
He let her do it – and didn’t even flinch.
The shock of what she’d just done sent tingles of shame into her stinging palm. She’d never hit anyone before. This must mean she really hated him… or liked him way too much.
He rubbed his chin. “I guess I deserved that.”
She knew she hadn’t hurt him – he was strong and tough, and she’d only hit him half-heartedly anyway. “Get out of my way. I’ve got a train to catch.”
“Where are you going?”
“Oh, I’m surprised you don’t already know.”
“Astrid, I haven’t… Look, please, just give me two minutes to explain.”
“No…” She stepped around him and started to walk away, but she realiz
ed she was heading in the wrong direction for Penn Station, so she about-turned and almost crashed into him.
“Please let me explain,” he said, blocking her path again.
She realized she knew nothing about this man who’d managed to capture her heart – then break it all in a couple of days. “Who the hell are you anyway? I bet your name isn’t even Jake.”
“It is Jake. It’s Jake… Quinlan.”
Shock thumped in her chest. “Oh another Quinlan brother – just what I need!” She moved around him – almost knocking over a woman coming from the other direction – and strode away again.
He fell into pace with her. “Astrid, honestly, I never meant to hurt you.”
“You’ve been reading my emails.”
“I didn’t know you then.”
“Oh, that makes it okay to violate my privacy, does it?”
“No. It’s just my job. And I was just telling Adam and Dylan that I couldn’t do it anymore. Because I like you too much.”
“Bullshit. Leave me alone.”
“Where are you going?”
“Home. To my hometown”
“Why in such a hurry?”
“That’s nothing to do with you.”
Her eyes fell on the main entrance for the station, so she headed toward it, ignoring him.
“Something happened back home?” he asked.
She didn’t want to talk to him, but her mind was reeling from her dad’s phone call just now, and the words tumbled out of her mouth. “Someone broke into my childhood bedroom. I’m going back to see what’s been stolen. But it’s nothing that will affect you or your stupid brothers, okay. Now will you just leave me alone?”
She halted at the top of the station steps – determined to get on that train – but a wave of terror washed over her, pinning her to the concrete ground. It was as if there was a force-field was around the station, preventing her from going down into that confined space. Her heart pounded with terror as she gazed at all those people swarming around. The panic rose from her stomach, into her chest, and spiraled in her head, shooting her temperature sky-high and stealing her sense of reality.
The Billionaire's Secret: Billionaire Obsession (Tycoon Billionaires Book 5) Page 6
