But then came Harley Crow. He hugged, he kissed, he tucked me in after our lovemaking, he comforted. He protected. He made me feel safe and secure when deep down, I was feeling anything but. And we had made love. I knew it. I felt it. I could see it in the way he looked down at me. He’d touched me like a man giving love, rather than satisfying sexual hunger. He’d given me exactly what I’d needed after the hellish ordeal of the kidnapping .
I was safe .
I was secure .
Harley Crow made damn sure of it .
I didn’t know how long I would stay living with him, but it felt right. I couldn’t picture leaving his house tucked away in the bayou ever again, and he didn’t make me feel as if I had to. Our contract was up. Our Sunday was spent in bed, sipping coffee by the pool, and we even went for a long boat ride down the channels of the swamp. It was casual. Simple. Easy. The day went fast and slipped through our fingers, yet I didn’t panic because it was all over. Usually when a contract was over, there was either a sense of relief or a sense of pity that it ended too soon because maybe there was still more to explore. A love story didn’t happen from a Tasting; it just wasn’t the way. And maybe that wasn’t what this was. Not a love story, but definitely a story. We had something. Some type of connection. I wasn’t blind or delusional. I wasn’t the crazy stalker who believed Harley cared when he didn’t. I knew better. There was something there. What exactly, I wasn’t sure. But there was something. Harley wouldn’t have saved me otherwise. He wouldn’t have kissed away my tears when I woke up from the bad dreams that awakened me in the middle of the night. He wouldn’t have held me protectively as I snuggled closer to his warmth, never feeling safer in my entire life. Harley wouldn’t have done any of those things if what we had was a simple contract. The contract was about fear. About pushing the boundaries of dark desires. It wasn’t about kisses, cuddles, and tender touches. Yes, there was more. So much more .
I was in Harley’s house and by his side because I chose to be, and he wanted it. He was protecting me, and I liked it. I liked it far more than I’d ever thought possible. I didn’t need a man. I never did. But I did need Harley. I did, and I wasn’t ashamed to admit it .
My emotions and feelings were rushing in fast. They were building to more than just the lust I had for him at Spiked Roses . I didn’t love easily. I was not one to fall head over heels. But maybe life and death changed a person. Maybe I didn’t need to have my shield up anymore. Not when I had a warrior of Harley’s strength by my side .
Hopping out of bed, I felt so much better than I had when Harley first rescued me and brought me home. I hadn’t had any nightmares that I could remember last night. Harley’s arms wrapped around me had made sure of that. He was able to shield me even in sleep. Nothing could harm me again now that I was his to watch over. I knew it. I felt it deep in my gut. That feeling alone made the awful kidnapping and murder of Layla seem to lessen, and with time, I knew I wouldn’t allow it to consume my thoughts. It was a nightmare that was over. At least for me. Not poor Layla, however .
Harley didn’t want to talk about Layla. I could tell. I saw the pain in his eyes and the way he changed the direction of the conversation every time I tried to bring her up. He wasn’t ready, but neither was I. I wasn’t strong enough to be his pillar during what had to be an awful time for him. He had lost a friend in the most horrendous and gruesome of ways .
“Hey, what are you doing up so early?” Harley asked as he exited the bathroom wearing nothing but a towel wrapped around his lower half. His wet hair hung limply on his forehead and around his ears, and I instantly wanted him back in the bed with me. “I was going to go and pick up some breakfast and bring it back to us before you woke .”
The idea of Harley leaving me again for breakfast made my stomach flip. Memories of the morning he had left to get beignets came washing in like a tidal wave. A shiver ran down my spine, and my hands trembled at my sides .
Walking over to me in long strides, Harley took me into his arms and kissed the top of my head. “Never again. I told you. You will never feel like your life is in danger again. I swear this to you .”
I nodded against his chest, inhaling the scent of soap and aftershave. “I know.” I pulled away and looked up at him. “Do you have anything in your kitchen? I could make us something. Eggs? Toast?” I really didn’t want him to leave .
He chuckled. “Do you really think I would ?”
Smiling, I said, “I guess not. But why don’t you give me a little bit to get showered and dressed and we can go into town together to eat. I have to check in with Spiked Roses anyway. Tennessee is a stickler when it comes to reporting to duty after a Tasting. It’s his way of making sure we are all safe and in one piece both mentally and physically .”
An eyebrow rose, and a smirk on Harley’s delicious lips had me nearly swooning. “You do realize I’m an owner right? I think I have some pull over Mr. Tennessee Charles .”
I pulled away and started walking toward my bag to bring with me into the bathroom. “That’s what you think. Have you met Tennessee? That man will string me up by my toenails if I don’t follow his house rules. Sleeping with the owner won’t get me off the hook. That man will have no mercy, and I rather like my toes.” I walked toward the bathroom and stopped to look over my shoulder. “Twenty minutes, and I will be ready to go. Promise. I won’t take long .”
“Fifteen, or I’m coming in after you .”
“I may like that,” I said playfully with a wink .
Sauntering over with that impish smirk that I had grown to absolutely love, he took me by the arm, lifted the shirt of his I wore to sleep in, and swatted my ass hard. “Hurry up, or I’m going to fuck that tight little ass of yours until you scream out my name .”
I moaned and wiggled my ass. “Yes, please .”
He swatted me again even harder and then again. “Marlowe… we need food. And a tropical storm is supposed to hit today, so we need to not be out and about during it. If I have to come get you …”
“All right,” I said with a pout. “I’m going .”
My stomach growling had me rushing through my shower more than the threat of Harley coming in to get me. Luckily, it didn’t take me long to get ready. Pulling my hair up in a ponytail, and throwing on a black tank top and jeans, I was ready to start the day. I felt refreshed and so much better than I had after the nightmare from Saturday. Everything bad seemed to ease with every passing moment .
Not caring that my hair was still damp, I walked out of the bathroom. “Done. I bet that was less than fifteen minutes,” I called out playfully .
Looking around, I could see that Harley wasn’t in the room to see my momentous victory of time management. Playfully half-skipping barefoot to the living room, I was ready to boast the minute I saw him, but he wasn’t in there either, or the kitchen .
“Harley?” I called out .
Silence .
My heart thumped hard against my sternum as an old wound opened. Where was he ?
“Harley?” I called again with a shaky voice as I returned to the living room .
Oh my God. What if those men had come back? What if others did? What if word had hit the streets where Harley lived and everyone wanted a piece of him ?
Panic attacked as I scanned the living room for something to use as a weapon .
A large crash from the window facing the pool had me screaming out. Getting ready to flee, thinking someone was trying to break in through the window, I saw that it was just a broken limb banging against the glass. The storm was blowing in already, and the large gusts of wind outside had the patio furniture blowing around wildly as well. Looking down, I could see that one chair had even fallen into the pool .
I took a deep breath to settle my nerves. Harley was probably just outside trying to tie things down before the storm damaged everything. Deciding to go out and help him, I walked toward the sliding glass door and froze in my spot .
Attempting to pull the chair out of the pool
, was a ghost. Walking dead .
Layla .
Layla ?
Layla !
As if I was walking under water, I somehow walked out of the house and down the stairs to where she struggled with the piece of furniture. The wind whipped around us, and the howling only matched the ringing in my ears. Was I actually seeing her standing before me? This had to be a mistake. There was no way. I had to be seeing things. Maybe I wasn’t healing and doing as well as I had thought. Maybe I was snapping. This was the beginning of a nervous breakdown .
“Layla?” I called out against the wind, expecting the vision to disappear the minute I spoke out to her .
She spun around and dropped the chair that she nearly had fished out of the pool back into the water. Her eyes were wide and mouth opened even wider .
It was her .
It was her !
“I don’t understand,” I said, shaking my head. “You were dead. You were dead! I saw you !”
Her eyes went from staring at me, to staring over my shoulder. Large hands were placed on my shoulder from behind, and I turned my head to see Harley standing there with sadness in his eyes .
“I’m sorry,” Layla said. “I thought you guys were done yesterday. I came back last night. I wouldn’t have if I had known .”
Harley raised his hand to silence her. “It’s all right .”
“What do you mean it’s all right? What the hell is going on?” I screamed. “I thought she was dead!” I spun around to face him. “Why didn’t you tell me she survived ?”
I looked back at Layla and examined her body. She didn’t look like she had been harmed at all. There had been so much blood. She should have not been standing there without a mark on her with all that blood. There were no gashes, no scrapes, nothing .
She swallowed hard, and couldn’t make eye contact with me. “I’m sorry. It was wrong .”
“You only did what I asked,” Harley said .
Layla glanced up at me. “I… I’m sorry I scared you. If I could take it all back …”
Harley started pulling me toward the house. “It’s okay, Layla. I got this. Go inside before the storm gets any worse .”
Still confused, but not liking the sick feeling and the weakness in my knees, I broke away from Harley’s hold. “What the fuck is going on? Why is she alive? Why didn’t you tell me she was alive ?”
“Let me explain,” Harley began, but I could see it in his eyes. There was so much shame. So much fucking shame !
“Did you fake her death?” I turned to see Layla walking quickly back to the pool house. “Why would you do such a thing ?”
The memories of that awful morning came flooding in like a damn tsunami. Layla had been covered in blood lying lifeless on the floor. And if she hadn’t been dead, why wouldn’t she have helped me from —
No .
No !
“Was this all some sort of sick game ?”
Harley closed the distance between us and grabbed my upper arms. “Let’s go inside out of this weather, and I’ll explain everything .”
I shoved him hard so I could break away from his touch. “No! Tell me now. What the fuck is going on? Tell me now !”
The wind picked up even more as if jealous that my rage was more powerful than it. Harley shook his head, put his hands in his pockets, and sighed so deeply that I could hear it even over the sounds of the storm .
“Yes, it was all a sick game.” His locked eyes on mine felt like two hot pokers stabbing at my gut. “I’m so sorry, Marlowe .”
“The kidnapping?” I asked .
“Part of the game .”
“A game! A game! Were you part of my kidnapping? Did you know those men? Lukas ?”
“It was staged. Those men were people who owed me favors, and I paid them to do it. You were never in any real danger, but I just wanted you to believe you were. Nothing was going to happen to you. Layla was only pretending to be dead to add to your fear. The blood wasn’t real. The enemies weren’t real. None of it was real. It was just a warped and messed up role play that I seriously wish I’d never arranged .”
Hunching over, needing to place my hands on my knees so I could somehow get some air to my lungs, I squeaked out, “Why? Why would you do something like that? Why?” I wheezed in and out as my vision blurred .
“Because I’m a sick motherfucker. We were playing a game. Who’s Afraid of the Dark? I wanted to really scare you. You said you didn’t scare, and I wanted to prove you wrong. Maybe it was the challenge. I don’t know. This was part of my plan for the Tasting. I wanted to smell the real fear on you to get off. And with you, it would have been even better because I had to work so hard to achieve the fear. That was the intention, but it was so fucking wrong. I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve that. I see that now. I saw it the minute I saw your frightened body tied to that chair. But it was too late. I had fucked up. I’m a sick monster. I’m sorry .”
I stood up with renewed strength as fury coursed through my veins. “No! No! No!” I charged him and shoved him in the chest, forcing him to take a few steps backwards. “You don’t get to play the victim by calling yourself names. You don’t get to say sorry. You don’t get to do a fucking thing!” I screamed. “I get to call you a sick monster! How dare you! How could you? What the fuck is wrong with you ?”
“I have no excuse. I went too far .”
“And then you led me to believe you saved me?” I added in disbelief. “Why? To continue the sick game? Did you want me to fall for you? Was that your plan? To make me fall in love with you so you could destroy me? Did you want to hurt me too ?”
He shook his head. “That wasn’t my plan at all. I didn’t think this through. I didn’t expect that you and I… that there would be so much more .”
“Fuck you!” I screamed as bile built in the back of my throat. “Don’t you dare. Don’t you dare make it seem like we had something more. This was a dark and twisted game to you. So cruel. You are a bad man, Harley. Worse than I could have ever imagined .”
“I know,” he agreed .
“Were you behind the glass the entire time? With Lukas ?”
He nodded and looked down at the ground again in shame .
“So you saw me? You saw how afraid I was? You just sat there while I begged? For hours I sat there fearing for my life. Fearing that I would be raped and tortured. How could you do that to me? How could you do that to anyone? You were there the entire time and could have ended it when you saw what it was doing to me, but you never did .”
He said nothing as my rage surged to a higher degree as the memories of what happened forced their way through the wall I had recently built to hold them at bay. It was all fake, like a horror movie, yet I’d had no idea. I’d truly thought every single second of it was real. Even thinking back, I couldn’t see any hints of any kind that I now realized was part of the game. Everything had been so real. This was far beyond a kidnap and capture fantasy play .
“You watched them cut my clothes off. You watched that man spank me, touch me, violate me !”
“And it destroyed me to see that. I didn’t expect it to. I wanted to cut the man’s hands off for doing so, which was something I wasn’t expecting. I didn’t want anyone else touching you except for — ”
“You?” I snapped. “Because what? You felt as if I was yours? Did the barbaric thought of ‘mine’ go through your mind?” I could barely breathe or see. I had never felt so angry in my life. The pure magnitude of it caused me to teeter between insanity and reality .
“Yes,” he admitted. “I believed you to be mine. I’ve never felt that way before, and didn’t know how to handle it or what the fuck to do with it .”
I laughed out loud, the sound tortured and maddening, blending with the roaring wind that whipped around. “Yours. Ha!” I shoved him hard in the chest, causing him to take another step back. “And yet, you still watched. You still allowed me to sit in that room alone and scared. Is that what you did ?”
He no
dded again and slowly raised his eyes to meet mine .
“Did it make your dick hard?” I said between clenched teeth. “Answer me, you disgusting motherfucker! Answer me! Did it make you want to fuck me even more ?”
“Marlowe, please,” he said as he took a step toward me. “At least go inside. It’s not safe out here with things blowing around. I’ll answer all your questions and do whatever I can to make this right. I can’t tell you how sorry I am. I would take it all back if I could.” Branches flew through the air, and a tree snapped in the distance. “But it’s not safe out here. We need to get inside .”
“It’s not safe with you !” I said, taking a few steps back, not wanting to be near him at all. “I want to leave now. Get me the fuck out of here .”
“Okay. I’ll drive you back right now .”
“Not you!” I screamed. “I don’t want you ever to be near me again! Asshole!” I glanced over at the pool house. “Have your fucked up pawn drive me back to the city. Don’t you ever come near me again, or I will have your ass arrested. I mean it, Harley. Stay the fuck away from me.” I charged past him. “I’ll be at the boat waiting .”
Before I could get inside, Harley reached for my arm to pull me back toward him. “Marlowe, listen .”
I jerked my arm away with so much force that I almost tumbled forward. “RED, motherfucker . RED !”
17
Harley
“W hat. The. Fuck. Did. You. Do?” Matthew asked as he stood at the head of the table where Kenneth normally stood to conduct the emergency managing members’ meeting .
All the men stared at me with surprise, confusion, and even anger in their eyes. Normally, their looks would be reason enough for me to kill, but I deserved them and so much more .
Villains & Vodka Page 14
