by Roslyn Bane
“You weren’t worried about the house being empty while you were gone?”
Kris hesitated. “I, ah…”
“Sorry I didn’t mean to pry.”
“You weren’t. My, ah, ex-roommate moved to a condo at the beach.” Kris shrugged.
“Pretty view in the morning.”
“Probably so, although she’ll never see it. She always slept in.” Kris noticed the empty bottle, gestured to it. “Would you like another beer?”
“Sure.”
Kris cleared the plates from the table and looked for another beer. She called out, “I don’t have any more beer.” She looked back in time to see Sam yawn and shiver. “How about if a make a pot of tea? We can crack open the fortune cookies and see what good fortunes are coming our way.” She rubbed her arms lightly. “Hmm, I’ve caught a chill, I’m going to get a sweatshirt, do you want one? The rain must be cooling things off.”
“That would be good.”
Kris came back with two sweatshirts, one was pink, the other gray. She extended the pink sweatshirt toward her guest. Sam’s hand froze in midair. She looked up and saw Kris watching her with an amused looked on her face. After a few seconds, Kris burst out laughing, and handed her the gray sweatshirt, “Your face was priceless. You looked at that sweatshirt like it had teeth.” She pulled the pink one over her head and flipped her hair out from under the collar. “I can’t picture you in pink.”
“I probably haven’t worn it since I was four.”
“Would you like your tea here or in the living room?”
“Here’s fine.” Sam pulled the sweatshirt on. “This feels good.”
Kris served the tea, and they cracked open the fortune cookies. “Hmm, this one says, ‘Be on the lookout for coming events. They cast their shadows.’ That sounds ominous.” She pushed the plate of cookies to Sam. “Go ahead. Pick.”
Sam looked at the plate of cookies, amused by the little ritual. Her hand hovered until she finally chose one, “Meeting adversity well is the source of your strength.” She put the cookie down, fingering the slip of paper.
Noticing her silence, Kris interrupted the quiet. “Pick one for me.”
Sam picked up one of the two remaining cookies and handed it to her. She sat back and sipped her tea while Kris cracked it open. “There will be a happy romance for you shortly.” Kris laughed. “Oh please. Who has time for one of those? Your turn, last one.” She drank her tea while Sam stared at the cookie on the plate and continued to finger the tiny slip of paper in her hand.
Finally, Sam picked up the last cookie, cracked it, slipped a piece of the cookie into her mouth and chewed slowly, not looking at the fortune.
“Come on,” Kris urged.
“Patience, grasshopper.” She looked down at the words, and stared at them “Find a peaceful place where you can make plans for the future.” She put the tiny slips of paper down and picked up her tea, “The day before I left for the academy I had Chinese food with a friend of mine. I still have that one.”
“It must have been special.”
“It said, ‘You are about to embark on a great adventure.’ Strangely it gave me reassurance.”
“That’s almost eerie, the coincidence of it,” Kris replied shaking her head.
Sam smiled, “You’re not superstitious, are you?”
“Not at all. I avoid walking under ladders because something could fall on me.”
“An apple a day keeps the doctor away,” Sam teased.
“Well, that one is true, especially if your throw hard and have a good aim.”
Sam stared at her wide-eyed before she burst into laughter. “Now that’s funny.”
They finished the tea, and when Kris cleared the pot from the table, she saw Sam stifle a yawn. “Oh, it’s getting late. I should get you back to base. Or you could stay here if you like. There’s plenty of room.”
“No, I need to get back. I have medication to take…for the pain in my foot. Well, it’s not really in my foot.”
“For the phantom pain? Is it bad?”
“It’s getting better. The medicine helps, and my dose is coming down.”
“That’s good. Well, I guess I should get you back.”
“My clothes?”
“I’ll get them washed. I can’t imagine laundry service in the medical barracks is ideal. I can do them unless you need them right away.”
“It isn’t fast that’s for sure. I don’t need them right away. Thanks.”
“It’s no problem. I’ll be throwing mine in too. I’ll bring them by tomorrow. I can drop them off if you’re not there.”
“Okay.”
They drove back to the base, and as they approached the barracks, Kris noticed a lot of activity outside it, considering the hour. “Is it always so busy? So late?”
“Not always. There’s usually a few people up at night. Nightmares, insomnia, the adjustment back can be hard.”
“Yes, it can.” Kris reached out, touching Sam’s hand. “I’m glad I ran into you. I’ll bring your clothes tomorrow.”
“Thanks. Thanks for dinner too. Good night.” Sam looked carefully at Kris and smiled slowly.
“Good night.”
After Kris returned home, she quickly cleared the table of the tea cups. She wiped down the table and noticed that Sam’s fortunes were gone. She smiled, feeling like she discovered a secret. She sat down at her desk and pulled out the files she needed to review, and in the back of her mind, she wondered why Sam seemed vaguely familiar.
***
Sam undressed, tossed the clothes in the hamper, and removed the ace bandages from her leg and examined it. She removed the smaller bandage from over the blister. Using a large hand mirror, she looked at the back of her leg and the bottom looking at the blister and for any additional hotspots or skin damage. Finding no others, she moved to the shower, pulled down the seat, and sat before placing the crutches outside. Reaching up she grabbed the handheld shower head, aimed it away from herself and turned on the water. She waited for it to warm, holding back a shiver as the airborne mist dropped the temperature slightly. As the water turned warm, she directed the spray onto herself and hung it back on the hook.
That was a fun evening. I’m glad she convinced me to go for coffee. That’s the best night I’ve had in over a year. Kris seemed like she enjoyed herself. She didn’t mention her boyfriend at all, not even to bitch about him. He hasn’t been gone long. There were markings from the furniture being moved. Grease stain on the driveway too, from another car. Should I tell her I’m gay? She might not be open to having a gay friend, even though we get along well. God, I hope she’s not like that. I could use a pal.
Sam rinsed, dried off, and crutched over to the sink. She continued her night-time ritual of applying a special moisturizing cream to her stump. She slathered lotion over the rest of her body, wiping her hands on a towel before picking up the crutches again. Clicking off the bathroom light, she moved to the bed, reached into the drawer of the nightstand and pulled out a compression sleeve. She held it for several seconds, looking at it and with a deep sigh, rolled it onto her stump. She flipped off the light and lay back, enjoying the coolness of the sheets against her skin.
Gradually she drifted off to sleep, and as she did, she remembered Kris’ hands. Long and narrow, the skin looked soft and unblemished. Long tapered fingers with short, perfectly shaped nails. Unpolished, but obviously manicured. Her knuckles were small, her fingers straight. The skin was warm and smooth. Her touch was reassuring. Kris had grasped the steering wheel firmly and shifted gears flawlessly as she drove. Her hands were steady as she poured tea, not a single misplaced drop. Her hands looked competent, no, they were elegant.
Chapter Thirty-one
SAM SAT AT A shaded table and turned the empty water bottle over and over in her hands. Around her other participants ate, laughed, and joked about the competition. Several large tents had been set up and volunteers stood manning the buffet lines serving food to the participants. As
sistance was given to help carry food to tables and refill beverages. Sam felt she had spoken with nearly everyone in attendance. She launched the empty water bottle into the nearest trash can before standing and moving steadily on crutches to the mess tent to get something else to drink. Leaning against the table, she filled a cup with water and drank it. She bent to the fill the cup again when someone came up beside her. “Want me to carry that for you?”
“That’s all right.” Sam turned toward the voice. “Hey, Kris, I was wondering if you were here today.”
“I’ve been around. I did one of the runs and some swimming. Do you want to sit down? I’ll carry that over if you would like.” Kris held out her hand to take the cup.
“Sure thanks.” Kris filled two cups with water, and they moved to a picnic table. “So how did you do today?”
Kris took a sip of water, and wiped her mouth. “I did a five-K, I’m not particularly fast. I don’t particularly like to run. I run enough to pass my fitness test with a respectable time. With the swimming, I’ll have to wait and see. It was fun to have some competition again. My arm is recovering well, and the swimming is good for it. I swam in high school and college, so there’s muscle memory. You’re still on crutches, is the blister healing?”
“It is. It just wasn’t fast enough for me to compete without the sticks though.”
“How did things go?”
“Pretty good. I did the basketball shoot. I did well enough that they won’t pick me last in gym class. I didn’t want to do this. They’re right though, you have to get out and do things. And it’s easier when you’re with your peers, colleagues.”
“It is.” Kris took a sip of her water and stole several quick glances sat Sam. Why do I feel like I know this woman? Green eyes the color of a stormy sea, and short black hair. About five-ten, her cheeks were hollowed with dark smudges under her eyes. Possibly from loss of sleep. Certainly, she was going through a lot. Losing a limb was hard for anyone, but a woman surrounded by men with the same injuries was still a woman. “Sam, would you like to head off base for a little while? Maybe for some ribs or a burger? I could use a good burger and a glass of—”
“Hey, Davies! How are you doing?” They turned to look at the big Marine who lumbered over to the table.
“I’m doing fine.” Sam shook the Marine’s hand. “It’s good to see you. How are you? This is Doctor Kris Matthews. Doc this is Major Doug Peterson.”
Kris could barely respond politely as the words reverberated. A wave of nausea swept through her.
“Hello. It’s nice to meet you,” Doug said, shaking her hand. He turned his attention back to Sam. “I got the new leg a couple weeks back. It’s so much smoother than the first one. I’m telling you, it makes everything seem normal, well almost normal again.”
As they spoke, a helicopter approached. Unconsciously Kris’ hand traveled to her chest when her heart started to hammer. The helicopter passed overhead, and Kris felt the world start to spin. She was vaguely aware of a petite woman about five three that approached. As Kris struggled to breathe, she heard Doug speak. “That’s my wife. I have to go. Hey, Sam, next year, you and me, the Marine Corps Marathon. Don’t worry if you can’t finish it I’ll carry you over the line.” He walked off laughing.
“That’ll be the day he beats me in a race. God forbid that would happen, someone would have to shoot me,” Sam said with laughter ringing in her voice.
Kris struggled to breathe normally. Just shoot me. She stared at her empty hands and saw the blood on them. It’s her, oh dear God. Her mouth was suddenly dry, her stomach flipped, and she started to shake.
“Are you all right? You look sort of pale.”
“I’m…a…fine.” She wiped sweaty palms on her shorts and swallowed hard against the butterflies that were swarming in her stomach. “Ah, would you mind a rain check on that burger? I’m pretty tired and should get going.”
“Sure. I’m tired too. Are you okay? Are you feeling well? You’re sweating. I’ll get some help.” Sam started to get up, but Kris stopped her with a hand to her waist.
“I need to go. Do you need a ride back to base?” Please say no.
“No. They have shuttles for us. I’ll catch one in a few minutes.”
“Okay. Take care.” Kris left the field and started walking to the parking lot. Once she got out of sight, she took off at a full run.
Oh, God. It’s her. How could I have not recognized her? What am I going to do? Does Renee know the major is right here? Of course, she does. By the time Kris reached her car, she was in a full panic. She fumbled with the key fob to unlock the doors. Finally getting it open she slipped behind the wheel, started it, and blasted the air conditioner. With her head thrown back against the headrest, she tried to make sense of the last several months.
How could I not have recognized her? It’s not like there are loads of female marine pilot amputees around. Calm down. Breathe, breathe. Sam hadn’t spoken much, and her voice had been strained with pain. Weak and hard to hear. Her face was filthy, streaked with dirt and grime, and blood from her nose and mouth had dried on her swollen face. The female marine she helped in the field was strong, fit, with dark hair, and green eyes. The whites of her eyes were deeply red, stained with blood from hemorrhaging vessels. This Sam was thin, her cheeks hollowed. Like someone in a battle for their life. Someone who had lost weight relatively quickly. Her face was pale and gaunt. They said I was hurt helping someone. I didn’t realize it was her. We were running to the chopper with her. She rubbed at her chest. That’s when I was hit. Oh, dear God what am I going to do? Kris remembered the relaxation exercises they had been taught and started performing them. After several more minutes, she backed out of the parking space and drove home.
Chapter Thirty-two
KRIS PACED AROUND RENEE’S office. “I remembered everything. Major Davies. Samantha. She’s here. We’ve been in the same sessions. We were at Bethesda at the same time. You knew this.”
“I did. I thought when you recalled the amputation you also remembered all the details of it. I didn’t realize you hadn’t made the connection until the last time when you asked if there was a way to find out if she was doing all right.”
“And you didn’t think it was important enough to tell me?” Kris shook her head and sucked her bottom lip tight against her teeth.
“Kris, you had repressed certain painful memories. Those memories were revealed when you were able to handle them. My revealing that Samantha was your patient would not have helped you. And it wouldn’t have helped Sam either.”
“She doesn’t know that I did that to her?”
“She was severely injured and already in distress. Close to death. You said yourself that she was given Versed to make her forget what was happening. I can’t go into the details of Major Davies counseling sessions with you but, I will tell you the drug worked as advertised.”
Kris rubbed at the bridge of her nose. “Should I tell her?”
“Do you think it would help her?”
“That’s why I’m asking you.”
“I’m not sure it would benefit Sam to know. Most injured warriors don’t know who performed their surgeries in theater. If you find yourself wanting to tell Sam, you need to consider carefully if it would help or hinder her. I would also appreciate a heads up if you’re going to do that. I will need to find out if Sam is interested in finding out who performed her amputation. If she is agreeable, a session with the three of us would be best.”
“I’ll think about it and let you know.”
***
Kris was walking to her office and passing the elevators when Sam stepped out. Her heart leapt in her chest, and a fluttery sensation filled her belly. “Sam, what are you doing here?”
“I was in the building so I thought I’d try to find you. I wanted to see how you were doing. It’s been a few weeks. The last time I saw you, it seemed like you didn’t feel well. Are you back to work? I mean operating?”
“I’m doing well
. I’ve been operating for two weeks now. A few cases a week. Do you want to go sit down? My office is right down here. I was going to eat some lunch before I start up again.”
“I don’t want to interrupt your lunch.”
“Don’t be silly. I have enough for both us. Come tell me what you’ve been up to.”
Kris walked matching her pace to Sam’s and trying to unobtrusively notice how she was walking. Other than the slow pace she didn’t appear to be having any difficulties. Kris led Sam into a small office. A couple of desks, a bookcase stuffed full of books and medical journals filled the space. A small window faced the parking lot. Medical degrees hung above each desk.
“Let me grab you a chair.” Kris pulled the chair away from the other desk and rolled it in front of hers. She held the chair steady as Sam sat down. “Do you want something to drink? Can I get you a coffee? I have some bottled water here.”
“Water is fine.”
“How about some salad?”
“I’m not going to eat your lunch.”
“I have enough for both of us. I don’t want to waste it, and I won’t want it this evening.”
“Sure.”
Kris pulled two water bottles out of the small fridge and a large container. “Do you like beef? I have some leftover flank steak I was going to put on the salad.” She pulled two plates out from her desk and divided the greens, and placed strips of beef on it. She rooted around in the fridge, “I have ranch dressing and, hmm, more ranch dressing.”
Sam grinned. “I’ll take the ranch. Do you always pack so much food?”
“Not usually. I was in a rush to leave this morning. I grabbed the whole thing.” When her cell phone rang from somewhere in her desk, she did her best to ignore it. Damn it, Shelly, leave me alone. “How are you feeling?”
