by Roslyn Bane
She felt Sam take her elbow. “Come here. What’s wrong? Why are you getting dressed? Did I do something wrong?”
“No.”
“Where are you going?” Sam stood, a hand braced on the footboard. “Why are you crying?”
“I’m not crying.” Kris wiped at her cheeks and dried her hands on her pants.
“Why are your eyes leaking?”
“I was hoping this…you…us…we would be different, but I understand.” Kris struggled to control her emotions.
“What? It wasn’t good?”
“It was fantastic.”
Sam started to smile, but stopped as she saw the look of sadness in Kris’ eyes. “If it was fantastic, and it was, why do you look so sad? What did you want different?”
“I…I was hoping you would…never mind. I’ll get going.”
Sam grabbed her arm, pulled her back, “What’s going on? I can’t chase you, and I’m afraid if I take the time to put that leg on you are going to be out of here before I finish. What’s wrong? Why are you in such a hurry to leave?”
“You said, ‘You needed to do something.’ I know what that means.”
“I am completely confused. I said I needed to do something. I didn’t ask you to leave my bed. Why would I want you to go? I just made love with the most exciting woman I’ve ever met.”
“But you said—”
“I know what I said. I want to know what you heard.”
Kris hesitated. “Shelly, she said…she said I was hideous. Eventually, she complained if I even took my blouse off.” Kris tried to keep her voice level, and calm, but her throat was tightening. “She started to hop out of bed as soon as we were finished.”
Sam reached out to grab Kris’ hand and tugged, bringing Kris onto the bed. Sam opened her arms. “Please, come here to me.”
Kris moved close, and Sam hugged her in closer. “I’m not Shelly. I need to take care of my stump. I have to sleep with a compression sock on it. I didn’t want to fall asleep or become preoccupied again and forget it.”
“Your stump? Oh God, Sam…I feel like an idiot.”
“Shelly called you hideous? That bitch.” Sam touched Kris’ face. “Please don’t go. I want you to stay with me.”
“I will.”
Sam kissed Kris and turned to sit up. “Wow! This is sure some afterglow, don’t you think?”
“We’ll get back to where we were, but first show me what you have to do to your…”
“Stump. Residual limb, the unleg, whatever you want to call it.”
“Can I just call it your leg?”
“Okay. Although I was thinking of changing it to Barney.”
“Barney?”
“Yeah. Like that short stubby guy in the Flintstones.”
Kris laughed and kissed Sam on the cheek. “Show me what you have to do.”
They sat on the edge of the bed. “I have to sleep with a compression sock on. At first, it was a stump shrinker, but now I use these. It forces the swelling out and helps with circulation. For some strange reason, it also helps with the phantom pain.”
“How long do you have to wear this?”
“I wear it when I sleep, or when I don’t have Betty on.”
“Betty? I thought you said Barney.”
Sam grinned. “Betty is the prosthesis, Barney’s the stump. Hey, it’s my leg I can call it what I want to.”
“Ah, okay.”
Sam put the compression sock on. “I have some silicone liners I can use at night, but they’re too hot. If I don’t use something at night my leg swells up, and Betty doesn’t fit right in the morning.”
“Can I see the prosthesis?”
Sam picked up the prosthesis, and pointed to the end that attached to her leg. “This is the socket, it’s made from polyurethane. I wear a gel liner against my skin. Next is a prosthetic sock. The socket goes over the top of it. Finally, over the top of it all goes a sealing sleeve. It helps form a vacuum, suction, so it all stays on.”
“It sounds complicated. I’ve never looked at one before.”
“Here.” Sam handed the prosthesis to her.
Kris took it carefully. “It’s lighter than I thought.” She turned it over, and around looking at it thoroughly.
“It’s about four pounds. Different feet add a little more weight.”
“Different feet?”
“Yeah. I can change out the foot depending on what I want to do. When I am ready to try to run I can switch to a blade foot.”
She handed the prosthesis back to Sam. “Thank you for showing me. It seems like such a private thing. I mean you can’t walk up and ask someone, hey, how’s that work? So, thanks.”
“Would you like to come to my next fitting? It’s in a week. It’s a checkup, but you can see and ask questions. I can tell that doctor brain of yours has some questions.”
“I’d like to.”
Sam placed the prosthesis against the nightstand. She looked at Kris. “That has to be the strangest after sex conversation I have ever had.”
“I can’t say I’ve had any even remotely similar.”
“You know what? I think we’ve spent entirely too much time talking, and that you are way over-dressed.” She stroked her hands down along Kris’ sides and lifted her shirt off. Pushing Kris onto her back, she leaned forward and kissed her; a slow, tantalizing kiss meant to arouse. When they grew breathless, Sam slid lower, released the snap on her jeans and eased them down. Her mouth and fingers gliding down exploring the newly exposed skin.
***
Kris awakened, enjoying the feel of Sam pressed up against her, spooning her, and felt more content than she had in a long time. The night had been wonderful. She was amazed with the gentleness Sam displayed as a lover. Although she’d pictured Sam as a rough lover, her softness, and gentleness had nearly brought her to tears. She was surprised that through that gentleness, through that incredibly slow pace that she was able to come so forcefully, so frequently. Without the roughness, without the pain, without the power play. Maybe she should have looked at that as a danger sign, when she and Shelly had transitioned to only rough, nearly violent sex. She shook her head. Do not think of Shelly now.
Sam stirred, snuggled in closer, her breathing slow and regular. Kris couldn’t help but smile, the night had been fantastic, and she wouldn’t be filled with bruises. Sam stroked her warm hand along her arm, kissed her on the shoulder. “Good morning.”
“Good morning.” Kris turned over, pulling the sheet up over her chest.
“Don’t do that. Don’t hide yourself from me.”
“But it’s ugly,” Kris said, looking away.
“That bitch told you that?”
Kris nodded.
“Now I understand why you didn’t want to be intimate a few nights ago. She made you see yourself as flawed. As not enough. It takes a certain kind of mean to make someone feel bad about something they can’t control. I think we’re both dealing with the emotional scars of our injuries.” Sam reached out and ran a finger over Kris’ collarbone, making her flesh erupt with sensation. As her finger moved lower and slowly teased its way under the sheet, she whispered, “If you want to cover yourself that’s fine, but don’t do it because you think I want you covered. I don’t. I want you comfortable.”
Kris looked into Sam’s eyes, and seeing the sincerity in them, she rose up onto one elbow and leaned forward to place a kiss on Sam’s welcoming lips. After the kiss broke she moved over Sam, straddled her and pressed her mouth to Sam’s collarbone. She savored her flesh and moved slowly down over her firm breasts. Her hands played with Sam’s breasts while her mouth enflamed. Sam moaned with pleasure, “So good, don’t stop.” Kris traced a hand along her torso, and across the firm, taut expanse of her stomach, smiling when the flesh quivered under her touch.
Kris laughed. “You’re ticklish.”
“No.”
“Really?” She repeated the stroke, smiling when Sam hissed and tightened her stomach. “I’ll have
to remember this spot for later.” She rose up on all fours, her leg between Sam’s and as her hand slid lower. She leaned forward her mouth covering Sam’s in a slow, sweet kiss. She teased, she soothed, and her confidence surged as Sam quaked and gasped below her. She slowly brought Sam to peak and kissed her softly as Sam moaned through her release. They lay wrapped in each other’s arms for a few minutes, and Kris murmured, “Is it okay if I cook breakfast? If I stay in bed any longer, I can’t be responsible for what might happen next. Besides after last night, I could use the energy boost.”
“You want to cook?” Sam sounded surprised.
“I do. Any preference?”
“Not oatmeal. I ate that twice this week.”
“Bleh. Definitely not oatmeal. You stay here, I’ll cook. You want coffee?”
“Sure.”
“I’ll bring it in.” She bent and kissed Sam, appreciating the gentle stroke of hands along her breast and a quick mischievous grin. “I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
They sat in bed eating omelets and sipping coffee. “Will you tell me what happened?” Sam spoke quietly.
Tell her, tell her now. Renee said to let her know first. No, it’s too late. It’s not going to get easier. “I went out on a medevac run. They needed a doctor in the field. We had all done them before. Not often, but it happens when someone might need something advanced done en route.”
“We were getting back to the chopper when there was an explosion near me. I didn’t have body armor on. I had taken it off. I was doing a…procedure…and it was getting in the way. I didn’t put it back on. I was running to the chopper when I felt something hit along my side and chest. I ended up with a collapsed lung and several shrapnel pieces in the chest muscles and near the shoulder. It would be a few days before I realized that my breast was hit too.”
Sam stroked gently over a shoulder scar. “You’re lucky your arm didn’t get hit worse. How is that possible?”
“I was lucky. My face and the rest of my arm were spared somehow.” Tell her. All of it. Kris swallowed hard and looked away. She gulped a large mouthful of coffee.
“It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it. Trust me, I understand. I don’t like to talk about my injury. I spend far too much time thinking about it. I’d rather find other things to do.”
“That sounds good.” The knots in Kris’ stomach relaxed. “What were you going to do today?”
“I was hoping to make love with you again, but we spent too much time talking instead of touching and moaning.” Sam grinned as she ran her finger across Kris’ collarbone.
Kris laughed, put her coffee aside, and placed the dishes on the tray. Sliding into bed, she rolled across against Sam.
Sam groaned. “I have an appointment in ninety minutes that I have to get ready for. I’m sorry. Can I have a rain check?”
Kris leaned over to kiss Sam. “That’s all right. I have some work I need to catch up on, and I was going to spend a few hours at one of the pediatric clinics in town. I should get going too. It sounds like we both need to get ready. Duty calls. Maybe a few more minutes to be close?” They lingered as long as they dared. Sam donned her prosthesis, slid into a pair of shorts, and pulled on a t-shirt. She followed Kris to her car and stood by as Kris climbed in and fastened her seat belt. Sam leaned in through the window and kissed her. “I’ll call you later.” She gave her arm a tender touch and backed up as Kris pulled away.
Chapter Forty-three
KRIS WATCHED AND LISTENED as the therapist worked with Sam. Sam was wearing the assist belt and stood straddling the belt on the treadmill. The belt circled slowly as he gave her some final instructions. Sam looks nervous. I am too. I hadn’t ever thought about it. It’s not going to feel the same. Sam’s hands were tight on the rails her posture rigid as she stared at the moving belt. Slowly Sam lifted her leg and placed the running blade on the belt. Her leg shifted backward, and Sam lifted it up and repeated. She did this skating motion ten times before fully stepping onto the treadmill.
Kris let out the breath she didn’t realize she’d been holding when Sam started walking on the treadmill. After a minute she realized that Sam appeared to be slightly less stressed than she was when they first arrived for the session. The therapist raised the elevation and Sam adjusted beautifully.
“Excellent. Sit down and take a break. In a few minutes, we’re going outside.”
“Okay.”
Sam took the empty seat beside Kris. She drank from the water bottle Kris handed her, and they watched as other Marines worked with their therapists.
“That looked pretty scary.”
“I thought I was going to wipe out there for a second.”
“You didn’t.”
“Thank God. I’ve kept saying I want to get back to running, but that was pretty intimidating.”
“I was thinking the same thing.”
“He told me I was going outside next. You don’t have to stay.”
“I really shouldn’t. I’m glad I was able to see what the prosthetist does to check your socket and to ask him questions about the fit, but I can’t stay for the rest of your therapy.”
“That’s okay. What time do you have to be in?”
“By sixteen hundred. I have the overnight tonight. I’ll see you Friday night.”
“That sounds good. I was going to cookout.”
“I’ll bring the wine.”
They stood for a second looking at each other, and Sam whispered, “You know want I want to do now right?”
“I do. Right back at you. Bye.”
Kris paused for a few seconds and spoke with the therapist who had worked with her during her own recovery, and left.
Chapter Forty-four
SAM WAS TURNING THE potatoes on the grill when Kris came up behind her. “Is that a charcoal grill?” Kris nibbled on Sam’s neck.
Sam turned and kissed her. “It is. Nothing comes close to the flavor you get with charcoal. The potatoes will be another twenty minutes. I have steaks for tonight.”
“Fantastic. I’m starved. I’ll take mine medium rare. I brought some wine. Would you like a glass?”
Sam pointed to her beer “Too late. You have to make a toast to the grill god when you fire it up to ensure a great meal.”
Kris laughed. “Is that so?”
“It is. But you can have wine. I think we’re safe. I’ve paid homage appropriately.”
As Sam placed the lid back on the grill her cropped t-shirt rose up and exposed her hard abs. Kris felt a quick kick of lust. God, I want to run my lips over those abs. She wrapped her arms around Sam’s waist and stroked her stomach. “I missed you. I made you something.”
“You made me something?”
“It’s in the trunk. I need help getting it in.”
“Let’s go.”
Kris opened her trunk and lifted out a large planter filled with brightly colored flowers in full bloom.
“These are beautiful. Thank you.” Sam reached into the trunk and pulled out a second planter. “These will look good on the deck.”
“I noticed you were looking at mine, but I didn’t think you would make some.”
“You’re right, gardening isn’t really my thing,” Sam said sheepishly.
“That’s why this will be good. All you have to do is remember to water them if it doesn’t rain. There are tulip and daffodils bulbs in there too. They should come up in the spring. I have something else, but I’ll get that myself. I’ll be right back.”
Sam went inside, opened the wine, and poured Kris a glass. She was stepping back outside when Kris stepped back onto the porch carrying a large potted tomato plant. Several green tomatoes clung to the vines. “I know you like tomatoes. I have too many plants, so I brought this one over. These should start to turn in a few days. I put a bag of ripe ones on the counter when I came in before.”
Kris set the pot down. Sam placed her hand on the back of Kris’ head and guided their mouths together. The kiss was soft and sweet. She ga
ve Kris her wine. “Thanks.” Sam picked up her beer, “Happy weekend.” She leaned in and kissed Kris.
“Happy weekend.” They tapped glasses and kissed again. Kris’ stomach growled. She pressed her hand to her belly. “I’m sorry. I skipped lunch today.”
“Well, let me put the steaks on.”
They dined outside enjoying the steaks, summer squash, and baked potatoes. They finished dinner, and Kris did the dishes while Sam cleaned up the grill. Sam came inside and kissed Kris on the neck before going into the living room. She searched through her music collection and slid a CD into the player, and then moved to the window. As Kris finished tidying up the kitchen her phone rang. She stepped outside onto the porch to answer it.
A few minutes later Kris entered the room and stopped. Sam stood staring out the window motionless but for her breathing. A faraway look in her eyes, she did not hear Kris approach. Just before Kris reached her, she turned her head suddenly, a look of surprise on her face.
“I didn’t mean to startle you. You looked so far away. Almost sad.”
“I’m fine. I was thinking. Well, daydreaming.”
Kris stood next to her, wrapped an arm around her waist, and looked out the window. “About what?”
Sam sniffed at Kris’ neck, and started to nibble along the soft skin. “Hmm? Oh, it doesn’t matter.”
“Sure, it does. Especially if it makes you seem sad. Most people daydream about fun things, something exciting, different.” She turned to face Sam. “I’d like to hear it.”
“I was thinking about the beach. I always liked to go there. Listening to the surf, seeing the constant motion of the waves, it helped to clear my head. It makes you feel small and inconsequential.”
“Did you ever go when you weren’t so philosophical?”
“Sure. Fun and sun. Volleyball, scuba diving. I tried surfing a few times, but I couldn’t get the hang of it. Morning runs along the beach. There’s nothing like it.”
Kris remained quiet; her hand resting on Sam’s hip as they looked out the window.
“But when I needed to get away, to figure things out, to center myself, the beach was my solace.”
