Accepting Fate

by Rivers, Brandy L

  Sticking to the shadows, Amanda followed Mike and the scary caster to a brick apartment building. From outward appearance, it was a nicer place than the shithole she lived in with him a lifetime ago.

  Even after the witch pushed her voodoo at her, Amanda was willing to warn Mike about Cole. If Amanda’s desperation hadn’t pushed her to beg when she first saw him, he would already know. Still, the new woman had said what Mike was too kind to say.

  Knowing he’d found someone who accepted him, made letting go easier. She hoped the new woman could protect Mike.

  He paused to open the door. His date bristled with power and looked up as he looked down. There was something in his expression she didn’t recognize, but instantly knew had been missing between them all those years ago.

  Amanda smiled as a tear trailed down her cheek.

  Mike opened the door and the woman slipped past him. Before following, he glanced her way. His eyes narrowed and he shook his head slightly before disappearing inside. She heard the click of the lock.

  A sharp pain sliced through her stomach, reminding her she needed to feed, and soon. Hating herself and her new life, she pulled her coat tighter before heading down the hill. The smell of weed and booze called to her.

  Before she realized it, she was in an alley, kneeling over a homeless man curled tightly in a sleeping bag. A sharp chemical smell rose to her nose, and she longed for the high she couldn’t quite catch before her fangs slid deep into his neck.

  * * * *

  “Talk to me,” Gwen demanded as soon as Mike locked the door. “What the fuck happened in the coffee shop? Your sister wrote a love poem, and you nearly went nuclear.”

  Mike sank onto the couch and dropped his head into his hands. Sasha came alongside and nudged his arm, whining softly. He took a deep breath and scratched her ears.

  Gwen walked in front of him and sat on the coffee table. She took his hands. “You promised to talk to me.”

  A defeated sigh escaped his lips. “Let me get my thoughts in order.”

  “Of course,” she answered softly, gently squeezing.

  Lifting his head, his eyes locked on hers and she saw confused agony.

  Swallowing hard, she bit the bullet. “This have anything to do with your ex?”

  He shook his head, tears filling his eyes.

  “Then what?”

  “Jordan used to read Roxy’s poetry. He loved to fall into her words. She felt like she couldn’t tell him no, so she started hiding secrets in them.”

  “How do you mean?”

  Mike rubbed his hands over his thighs as he sat up straighter, then ran his hands rhythmically down Sasha’s back, as he explained, “Jordan was never very bright. Hell, one of our most popular song’s hidden meaning is ‘fuck you Jordan, go to hell.’” Mike took a deep breath. “First letter of each line spells the secret message.”

  “How did you figure that out?”

  “I notice patterns on paper. Reading down that first line I saw the words immediately.” He shook his head. “Shit... what was hidden tonight doesn’t even make sense.”

  Trailing her fingers over his cheek, she peered into his eyes. “What was hidden?”

  Leaning into her palm he paused in petting the dog and closed his eyes. All she wanted to do was take away his pain.

  “Losing baby sorry Trevor.”

  Gwen frowned. “Werewolves can’t get pregnant. If they are pregnant when infected, they lose the baby on the first shift.”

  “Shit, so she is still pregnant, and going to lose the baby?”

  Shaking her head she thought about it a second. Then one brow arched. “She’s been a wolf a few months, right?”

  Mike nodded, then frowned. “Yeah. Wait… what?”

  “Okay, calm down. She’s also druid, so she’s different.” She pulled her phone out of her pocket and saw several texts from Preston with attachments. Skipping past those, she called Tremaine, who had the most readily available library of knowledge at his disposal, and close relationships with several druids. Robert would help, but Tremaine was more fluid in his thoughts when it came to the unusual.

  “Who are you calling?” Mike asked, as she put the phone to her ear.

  Tremaine answered on the first ring. “Gwen, having trouble with Mike already?”

  “No, but Roxy may have a problem. Mike has good reason to think she’s pregnant.”

  “Fuck, full moon’s coming,” Tremaine grumbled.

  “She shouldn’t even be pregnant this late in the game. Unless her being a druid changes something?”

  Pages shuffled. “Hang on. There might be hope. Maybe. Don’t tell loverboy yet. I can’t guarantee shit.”

  Mike’s eyes widened. He was close enough he probably caught all that.

  Gwen winced. “Um…”

  “He’s right there, isn’t he?”

  “Yup.”

  There was a heavy sigh. “May as well put it on speaker phone.”

  She did.

  “I already heard,” Mike said.

  “Look, Mike, this isn’t going to be an easy ride, if Roxy can even pull it off. You have to be prepared for this not to work, and her pregnancy is likely a one shot deal. Druids stop conceiving more slowly than most weres. If she really is pregnant, there is a chance she can shift to her wolf using magic, not her werewolf mojo, and save the baby. She won’t be able to take her bird shape without losing her baby after a certain point.”

  Mike took a deep breath and nodded. “There’s really hope?”

  “Yeah, there is. Think you could convince her to come up tomorrow sometime? There’s an old journal full of information for her.”

  “Will do.” He smiled slightly. “She’s scared, and worried about Trevor. There was such an undertone of despair in her poem.”

  Gwen frowned, watching him. He really knew his sister. She hadn’t caught any of that. Of course, she was more concerned with Mike.

  “I’ll see you soon, Mike. Don’t be too difficult for Gwen.”

  “You’re a lifesaver, Trem.”

  Gwen relaxed. “Looks like I’ll see you tomorrow, old man.”

  “Goodnight, twit.”

  She laughed, pressing end. “Here’s what we’re going to do, Mike. You’re going to meet Roxy for coffee. You’ll get the truth out of her. Then you’ll call me and I’ll take you both to Tremaine.”

  “What about Trevor?”

  “She hid a message in a poem, likely knowing you would catch on. She’s terrified, and thinking back, seems like she expects him to blame her, or maybe himself. So let’s get her to Tremaine first. We can catch Trevor up after we’ve sorted everything out.”

  Mike leaned forward and put his arms around her. “Thank you,” he whispered. “I wouldn’t have known what to do.”

  Swallowing back the wave of lust, she stroked his back in long sweeps. “I told you, if I can help, I will.”

  One arm left her to slip under her thighs. He hauled her into his lap and sat back. With an exaggerated sigh, Sasha curled up at his feet. Mike buried his face where her neck met shoulder and breathed deep.

  Curled in his embrace, she relaxed. “You okay?”

  His laugh was strained. “Should I put you down?”

  “I like it here,” she admitted.

  He looked up and captured her gaze. “Gwen, I…” He closed his eyes and took a breath.

  “Hey, if you need comfort and I can give it, take it.”

  His chest heaved and he squeezed her tighter. “It’s been a long time since I wanted to hold a woman. I know you want more, and I do too, but in this moment I need you in my arms.”

  Reaching up, she caressed his face. “I’ll behave. Take me to your room, and we can snuggle.”

  His voice was a rumble that travelled across her skin. “You won’t think I’m a pussy for not fucking your brains out?”

  Licking her lips she shook her head. “You will when you’re ready. I’m more interested in you than the orgasms you can give me.”

>   “Mmm,” he purred as he stood with her cradled in his arms. “Soon, I won’t be able to resist giving you those orgasms. You’re driving me crazy. Right now—”

  She covered his mouth with her hand. “Don’t need an explanation. Plus, I like this side of you.”

  Nodding once, he carried her to his bed and deposited her in the center. Fully dressed, he climbed in and curled around her, tucking her head in under his chin.

  Biting her lip, she snuggled into his embrace.

  His voice was soft. “You know about my last girlfriend.”

  Gwen gasped and leaned back to look into Mike’s iridescent eyes. “You haven’t tried a relationship since Amanda. Or do you mean Isa?”

  He stiffened. “Amanda. Does the fact that Isa and I were only about sex make me an asshole?”

  “It was consensual? You both liked the situation?”

  “I did until I realized I might want more. Even then I wasn’t ready to give her up until she was ready to move on. I had one other brief fling, but there was no spark.”

  “Then no, you aren’t an asshole.”

  “Even if that was what I originally wanted from you?”

  “Is it still?”

  He shook his head, one corner of his mouth lifting before he pressed a soft kiss to her lips. “No, but I’m not ready to define what I want.”

  “Open to exploring more?” she whispered, her heart beating harder in her chest.

  “Definitely.” He swallowed, and traced his fingers down her side. “Seeing Amanda, and realizing those feelings truly are dead, stripped away some of the fear of a relationship.”

  “That’s a relief. I like being right here.”

  * * * *

  There were so many things Mike wanted to know about Gwen. He gently brushed her hair off her face and bit his lip. They were lost in each other’s gaze. He liked being in the warm honey glow that washed through him, taking away the doubt.

  Finally, he found his voice. “Can I ask you something?”

  She watched him with such an honest expression. “Anything.”

  “When was the last time you tried a relationship?”

  Gwen flinched. “Fifteen years ago. He was still in love with another woman.” She sighed and rolled to her back.

  “I’m not in love with Amanda. I haven’t been in a really long time.”

  “I didn’t think you were.”

  “You almost left at the café.” He propped himself up on his side and traced her jaw with a finger, drawing her attention back.

  After a slow breath, she explained, “Not because I thought you were in love. I assumed you were wondering if there was a possible future. Been there, and sometimes you need to go back and remember why things don’t work.”

  “And if that person changed?” Mike asked honestly.

  “Then you’re luckier than I was.” She rubbed a hand over her face. “I want to know what’s between us. I have a history of picking men who aren’t ready to let go of their past, or who are only interested in a booty call.”

  “I definitely want more than a booty call. Even that first night. I was fucking terrified because you wanted to delve into my past, and clearly, there’s a lot of shit back there. Stuff I wanted to leave behind.”

  “Sometimes you can’t. We’ll face it together, if you’ll let me in.”

  He smiled. “Already am.”

  “Anything you want to know, ask.”

  “Did he break your heart?”

  “Who?”

  “The man who was still in love with another.”

  “My heart was broken once, but not by him. I knew the score going in. We were both lonely and found comfort with each other for a time. Then he started feeling guilty. I let him go. We tried again a time or two, but it always ended with him in tears.”

  “I imagine that hurt.”

  “Did Isa ever cry after you two were together?”

  Mike shook his head. “No, but she never stayed either. I’m glad she finally set me aside.” He rubbed his hand over his face. “Sounds weird. Right? Thing is, I couldn’t say no to her, so until she let me go, I would have kept hoping, falling harder, all the while knowing we would never work as a couple.”

  “Least we have something in common. Though I can’t say I was ever falling for Robert.” She caught his hand.

  His brow pinched. “Robert, the mage from earlier? Tremaine and Liz’s third?”

  “Uh, yeah. He wasn’t my superior at the time. Five years before that he’d been an instructor, but at the time of the relationship, he was just a colleague. It was obvious he’d never get over Liz, but I still dove in. Not my brightest moment.”

  “Hey, I’m not judging. If you haven’t noticed, I’ve made plenty of my own mistakes.” He kissed her nose before asking, “Who did hurt you?”

  “A necromancer. Met him during that pilot enforcer training. He was supposed to be one of us. He swept me off my feet. That was, until he threw me away.” She shrugged and Mike caressed her face, placing a kiss on her forehead. Gwen continued, “He said I was holding him back. That I was worthless.”

  “You don’t believe that, do you?”

  She shook her head. “Initially. The doubt didn’t last though.”

  “How long?”

  “Few months. But funny thing about me—put me down, and I come back swinging. I finished at the top of my class and gained the respect of everyone, peers and instructors alike. Felt pretty good to prove his ass wrong.”

  The light in her eyes made Mike hard. “Did he come back for you?”

  “No, but it would have been too late. I found myself after he left. I’m not that naive girl who fell blindly into love. I’m a strong woman who knows what she wants, and I’m not afraid to go for it.”

  He swallowed hard. “Still want me?”

  She groaned, her legs shifting. “Don’t tease me, Mike. You wanted close, and I will gladly give it. But please, don’t tease.”

  “Needed close, but now…” He guided her hand to his cock, straining against his fly. “You tell me.”

  Squeezing, she licked her lips. “Feels like you need my mouth wrapped around you.”

  As amazing as that sounded, he wanted more. “I need to be in you.”

  “First,” she opened his belt one-handed, “I’m going taste you.” Popping the button, she shifted between his legs as he rolled to his back. “Then, I’m going to take a ride.” His zipper came down and she freed him. “Any questions?”

  He lifted his hips and she yanked his jeans and briefs down, before scooting off the bed to remove his shoes.

  “One request.” Mike sat up, pulling his shirt over his head as she tossed everything behind her. “Your clothes need to go.”

  Nodding, she unbuttoned her shirt.

  “As much as I want to tease you, I need you too bad.” Her gaze fell to his rigid length and she moaned. “Really bad.” She reached down to slide off her jeans.

  Mike moved fast—faster than he expected, and found himself sitting at the edge of the bed with a gasp.

  Gwen giggled. “Druid speed. Now that your magic isn’t locked up, you’ll move faster than human if you aren’t careful.” She reached behind herself to unhook her bra. Mike’s hands landed on the straps of her thong, and he slid them off her shapely legs, gliding his palms down her silken skin.

  She sighed, and his eyes travelled up her body, pausing on her delectable breasts. He leaned forward to lick her nipple but she stepped back, shaking her head and waving a finger.

  “That wasn’t part of the plan. Not yet.”

  Dropping to all fours, she crawled toward him, staring up through her full lashes.

  “Aw, fuck, Gwen. You can skip the tasting.”

  “Don’t want to.” Her hands landed on his thighs, gently pushing as she crept closer on her knees. Her hair caressed his skin as her tongue swirled over his crown, her eyes locked on his.

  Sensation flowed through him. Fingers wrapped around his base as her lips closed o
ver him.

  “Gwen,” he whispered, his breath hitching.

  Hot. Wet. She took him in, her tongue caressing down, then up, to flick over the ridge. Slow. Steady. So fucking good he struggled to hang on.

  Mike couldn’t look away. His hands fisted in the blanket, though he wanted to bury them in her hair and guide her to the release he teetered on.

  The pleasure intensified. Before he blew, he shook his head. “Come here, sweetheart. Can’t last like that.”

  With a pop, she pulled off and stood. He cupped her sex, dipping two fingers in to find her wet and ready. “Like that, did you?” he purred.

  Nodding with heavy-lidded eyes, she placed one knee past his hip, her ankle and foot on his thigh, then grabbed his shoulder as she did the same on the other side. “Need you.”

  He held his shaft steady as she slid onto him. Gwen took over when he let go. Unable to resist, he wrapped his hand around her waist. He caught her nipple between his teeth, lightly biting down.

  Her core squeezed him tight and he groaned. “Damn, girl, you trying to kill me?”

  “I’ve been craving this for two weeks. Let me have my fun.”

  Her arms locked behind his neck as she took their pace hard, her tight peaks teasing over his chest. His hands drifted down to her firm, round ass.

  Everything he ever desired paled compared to the woman ripping away his fears and doubts. She didn’t see a monster. Gwen saw a man. Acceptance, something he’d craved for as long as he could remember, was right in front of him, proving he wasn’t a monster.

  He pressed his mouth to hers and she opened. His tongue swept into hers, exploring with a passion he’d never come close to. Everything shifted between them.

  His release neared as her walls began to pulse around him. Then pleasure washed over him as she cried out, her head falling back.

  Gwen clung to him for a long moment as they tried to calm their breathing.

  “Didn’t think anything could beat the window. I was wrong,” she murmured as she pressed closer to him.

  Mike moved them up the bed and brought the blanket around her. “Exactly what I needed.”