* * * *
Gwen’s heart splintered. She felt his words to her very core. Please let me be right. I’m not sure I can exist if I’m wrong.
He walked to the bed, and laid her down, never breaking the kiss until he started to undress her. Mike hurried out of his clothes before covering her with his body.
Her hand slid up his chest and covered his heart. “It’s beating with mine,” she whispered, as she stared into his eyes.
“Beating for you, Gwen.”
“Take me,” she answered.
Mike slid into her like he belonged. He filled her heart the same way he filled her body. He tore away her doubts and fears with his slow pace but intense thrusts. He touched every part of her, tearing down her walls.
His hands framed her face before his mouth meshed with hers, deepening their connection. She almost abandoned her decision as he blotted out all reason, replacing it with love.
Breaking the kiss, he whispered, “Mine,” against her lips.
She felt her heart cracking with every bit of love he poured into her. I can’t be wrong. Please, don’t be wrong.
He brought her over the edge with his release before shifting to his side. She felt at home in his arms, wound tight around her.
Gwen buried her face against his chest. “Don’t cry, Gwen. I’m yours.”
She thought about leaving a letter, explaining, but she couldn’t do what Amanda did to him. He needed to know why. Both her reason and Amanda’s. That could wait until morning. She wouldn’t leave him like this.
“Hold me,” she whispered. “I need to know you’re safe.”
“As long as you’re with me, I am,” he kissed her head. “How’s Roxy?”
“You should call her.” Gwen peeked up at him. “She’ll want to know you’re back. She wanted to come. We convinced her to go home with Trevor, for the baby’s sake. They were going to pick up Sasha on the way and take her back to their place. Jordan and Roxy convinced Doug he passed out. They took him home to get some rest.”
“You talked Roxy into going home?” He half-laughed.
“I used the reasoning that you would kill me if I let her.”
“That’s not happening.”
“And Amanda should be told you’re okay. Without her, we never would have found you.”
“Why are you worried what she thinks?” he asked honestly.
Sighing, she sat up and started to pull her clothes on. “Remember how I told you sometimes we have to revisit our past to make sure it won’t work?”
“Why are you saying we won’t work, Gwen? Is it because I killed Cole?” His eyes watered over.
“No. We can definitely work, Mike. First, I need you to do something. You need to sit down with Amanda and get the whole story.” She wiped at her traitorous eyes. “Trust me. If you come for me, I’ll be waiting. Knowing what she went through, I owe it to you to make sure you have the truth before you decide.”
“Gwen, don’t do this,” he whispered, getting up to cross the distance.
She put her hand up and he ran smack into a shield. “Please, Mike. For me. Maybe it’s selfish, but I need to know your heart belongs to me, and I won’t know that—not for absolute certain—until you understand Amanda’s reasons.”
“I don’t love her. I don’t need her. You’re killing me, Gwen. Stay. I’m begging you to stay. I don’t need to rehash the past.” He slammed his hand against the clear barrier.
“Call your sister. Talk to Amanda. Then decide. Please. For me. Get the answers you’ve wanted your whole life. I’d tell you to talk to your mother, find out why she wanted you to lock away your powers, but that’s not an option.”
“Where will I find you?” he demanded, slamming his hand against the shield again.
“You already know.” With that, she shoved her feet in her boots and walked out the door. Once she was out of the building, and walking down the hill, she let her shield go and stopped fighting the tears.
Chapter 30
Roxy was ready to go through Trevor to find out what was happening with Mike. No one had called, or even texted, to let her know what the fuck was going on.
Trevor had taken her and Sasha to the cabin, clear up in the mountains, hoping that would calm her, or so he said. She thought it was simply to keep her as far away from danger as he could.
Her phone rang, and she practically dove on it. She saw Mike’s number and answered with a shaky voice. “Mike, tell me that’s you and you’re all right.”
“I’m fine.”
She heard the tremble in his voice. “No, you’re not. What the fuck happened?”
“Hey, prego, chill. I’ll be fine. I’m in one piece, unharmed.” He sighed. “Heading toward broken-hearted, but hopefully I can figure out the riddle that infuriating woman left me.”
“What are you talking about?” Roxy demanded.
He growled. “Gwen is convinced I need to understand Amanda’s reasons for leaving my ass. I don’t care why she left me. That was five years ago and good-fucking-riddance. I need Gwen.”
A lick of rage shot through Roxy. “Slow down. Please, explain.”
“It has something to do with Robert, and whatever she saw in Amanda’s head. I guess they had to go in to figure out where to find me. Whatever, Gwen wants me to talk to her, so fine, I’ll talk to her, but it’s not going to change a damned thing.”
“Where is she? I’ll kick some sense into her.”
“No. Stay out of that. I’ll get her back my way. She wants me to come for her, I’m coming.”
Roxy wanted to hit something, but sucked in a breath. “Fine. What happened to you?”
“Ugh, I think Amanda’s brother drained some of my magic to bring back his dead girlfriend or some shit. Honestly, the less I think about that, the better. Josie, or Josephine they called her, is gone. I protected myself. Gwen showed up. She seems to think she’s to blame for me having to protect myself.”
Roxy sucked in a breath. “No. It’s not. Even I know it wasn’t her fault.”
“Yeah, well Gwen is as stubborn as they come. So I need to convince her,” he grumbled.
“What’s your plan?”
“Well, I can’t write for shit, so I thought I’d get Robert to zap me where she’s going and I’ll paint her picture while I wait. She was impressed with a sketch on a legal pad. Think what I can do with my paint. I need to wow her.”
“Oh, fuck, why is she so stupid?”
“Gwen is not. She wants me to be sure it’s her I really want. There’s no question she’s the one for me. I’m doing this to get her to believe me. I told her, but I guess that wasn’t enough.” She heard his fist slam into something.
“That you love her? And she still left?”
“Oh fuck, Rox. I told you, it has something to do with Robert and their past. Thanks for taking care of Sasha a bit longer. I need to go.” It sounded like he was stuffing things into a bag.
“Go get her, but if she doesn’t come to her senses, I’m going to kick her ass,” Roxy promised. She spun to find Trevor staring at her.
“She will,” Mike answered.
“I hope so. Love you, Mikey.”
“You too, Sis.”
She hung up.
Trevor wore a frown. “She left?”
“Apparently. She’s going to be lucky if I don’t kick her ass for her stupidity.”
Trevor laughed. “Hey, slow down. She has a past. Mike said it has something to do with that. Don’t fault her until you know the whole story. Now, how about we take Sasha for a walk?”
* * * *
Mike gathered up a backpack of clothes and a travel case with a canvas, easel, and everything he’d need for a real painting. Then, he called Tremaine, and prayed the bastard would answer.
“Hey, Mike. I hear you’re in one piece.”
“Yeah. Look, can you get Robert to come back here? I need a big ass favor. Actually, a few of them.”
“She left?”
Mike sighed. “Som
ething about her past, and me needing to understand mine. I’m doing what she wants, but Robert can cut down my travel time. I want to beat her to where she’s going.”
“Where is she going?”
“Home. Her home before their father split her family apart.”
“I always knew you were a smart kid. Give me a few, you’ll have your transport.” Tremaine hung up.
He made another call. Jordan answered with, “Tell me that’s you, Mike.”
“It’s me. I’m in one piece. I’ve got to go chase down a stubborn woman though, and I’m not sure when I’ll be back.”
“Gwen?” Jordan asked in confusion.
“Yeah, I’ll tell you about it another time. I wanted you to know I was fine, and I won’t be around until I can convince her she’s the one.”
“Good luck.”
“Hey, keep an eye on Doug. We’re going to have to tell him something eventually.”
“Maybe I can start on that while you’re out of town. I’ll find a way. He is my roommate.”
“Then good luck to you.” Robert appeared before Mike. He let out a sigh of relief. “Okay, my ride is here, I need to go.” He hung up.
Robert ran his hands down his lapels, looking away. “I told her not to do this.”
“Whatever, I’m not arguing. She wants proof it’s her I want, that Amanda doesn’t factor in? I’ll give her that in spades. First stop, I need to talk to Amanda. Second, I need to go to the home she grew up in on Lake George in New York.”
“Where?”
Mike shrugged. “She lived there before her father left. They had a family home there. Before Greg had his magic locked away.”
“I’ll get Preston on it. He can find out. We’ll have the information in her file.”
“Thank you.”
“You have everything you need?” Robert asked.
He nodded. “Yup. Let’s go.”
His brow arched, but he touched Mike and they were in the living room of the cabin Amanda was stashed in.
“Hey, Amanda?” Mike shouted.
She came down the stairs with a worried look.
“What are you doing here? I figured you’d be with Gwen after they got you out.”
He sighed. “I’m about to fix that problem.” He sat his stuff down and walked toward her. “She’s convinced I need to understand why you left so I can figure out if she’s really who I want.”
Amanda looked away.
“Was there more than drugs involved?”
Nodding, she stopped on the bottom step. “Remember how much I hated ghost stories?”
Mike nodded, a frown on his face.
“Yeah, well I grew up seeing ghosts or whatever. When I was a kid, I could ignore them and they’d go away.” She sank onto the stairs. “That changed the night of my 21st birthday, when Cole asked me to come to the club to get my birthday gift. I arrived early. He had brought a corpse back. Someone hired him to get information from their dead husband.”
“What the fuck?” Mike asked.
She looked up at him and shrugged. “I’d seen the zombies before, but I saw the guy’s ghost standing there shouting at him to put him back, and how he wanted to go to the light.”
Mike shook his head slowly.
“That’s when I ran into the dealer. He saw me distraught and offered me something to take it all away. I was freaked out and desperate. It worked. After that, every time I was with you, they came back. It was getting worse, so I kept shooting up.”
“Fuck, I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”
“They can’t get to me now. I’m dead too. When you shifted, you scared the fuck out of me and I ran. I kept running and eventually the drugs stopped warding off the spirits. They got to me anyway. It was never you, Mike. I couldn’t control it and they kept coming to me. I tried to end it.”
“Suicide?” Mike asked, kneeling before her.
She nodded. “Tried to OD. Angelique came,” she pointed to her teeth, “and now I’m this. Changing me took one problem away. Instead of drugs, I need blood. I hate that, but it’s better. I don’t see the ghosts anymore.”
He shook his head. “No offense, but Gwen must be nuts. None of this changes anything. I still need to get to Gwen.”
“What?” Amanda asked, standing.
Mike did too.
She shook her head. “I already let you go. I don’t even want you back anymore.”
“Good, because I’m in love with Gwen. I want all the best for you, but that’s not me.”
“Mike, we’re on the same page. What can I do to help?”
“Nothing, Robert has it covered. I do have one question. Is what you’ve told me the same as what Gwen saw when she was in your head?”
“She saw part of it. I was worried about you and you were stuck in my head. I’m sorry. I was scared.”
“Hey, don’t. It’s not your fault. I need to make her see I’m not letting her go.” He hugged Amanda. “I’ll always care about you.”
“Shut up, Mike. And ditto. You have something with her we never did. I’m not the same girl, and you aren’t the same lovesick fool. Go get your woman.” She shoved him toward Robert.
Robert caught him and they were standing in a well-kept home. Gwen had mentioned she paid someone to keep the place up, but he hadn’t understood. It looked ready to live in.
He was still standing there slack-jawed when a card was placed in his hand. “Call me if you need me to come get you. Your stuff is right here.” He nodded to the backpack and travel case.
“Wait. I have a question.” Mike sighed. “She told me sometimes you have to go back to see why you didn’t work. I’m guessing she was referring to you. Were you good to her?”
Robert breathed in deep and smiled grimly. “You know I’m with Tremaine and Liz, right?”
He nodded, really not wanting to think too much about that.
“Yeah, well I was always in love with Liz. Some things never change. Something horrible happened to her, it shattered everything we had, or so she thought. She left, thinking she was doing the right thing. I let her go, convinced I was doing the right thing. It took Tremaine to pull us back together again. He’s the glue to our broken pieces.”
Mike nodded, but wasn’t about to touch that. He didn’t want details. “But Gwen. You were good to her?”
“Yes. She wasn’t in love with me. We tried because we were both lonely. Gwen was ready to move on, but clearly, I wasn’t. She walked away because she knew I hadn’t let go of Liz.”
“And now she wants to make sure I’ve really let go of Amanda. I get it. Gwen somehow decided there was a chance I would have regrets about letting Amanda go.”
“Do you?”
“Not a single-fucking-one.”
Robert smiled. “Then get her back, but it’s going to take her hours to get here. Probably be noon before she shows up. Preston already got the flight number and everything.”
“That’s okay. I’ll be here when she gets here. Let her sweat if she tries to call me. She did this to herself, and I want to make sure she’s ready to believe me this time when I tell her she’s the one I want.”
“Yeah, that is probably my fault. I’m sorry.”
“Hey, I’ve seen you with them. You’re where you belong. If you had kept Gwen, I wouldn’t have her now. As long as you weren’t an asshole to her, I have no reason to fault you.”
“Mike, it’s been a pleasure. Take care of her. I’m sure I’ll be seeing you around. With my relationship to Tremaine, and him being your uncle, that makes us extended family.” He held his hand out for Mike.
Skipping the shake, he gave Robert an awkward hug. “I guess we are. I’ll call you if she doesn’t come to her senses, or if we need a quick way back.”
“You got it.” Robert disappeared.
Chapter 31
The plane was too quiet. Maybe because Gwen sat in first class. She thought about ordering wine as soon as the stewardess came by, but she didn’t want to drown her sorrows.
This was her damned fault to begin with.
Doubts swirled through her head. Dad wanted to give up magic, threw half his family away to avoid his power. Cole left her because she couldn’t offer him anything worthwhile. Robert never got over his first love. And Mike could relate to every one of those.
What if I’m not enough?
Tears filled her eyes as she brought up the picture she took of Mike and Sasha in the park. Oh, I hope my stupid ego doesn’t mess up my chance at love. Robert was right. This was a dumb fucking idea. He begged me to stay. Why didn’t I?
She wanted to call Mike. A tear fell down her face. “What’s the matter, child?” a soothing voice asked from beside her.
She looked over to find an older woman taking the seat to her right. Mahogany hair was streaked with silver, and her kind eyes were soft as she smiled. There was something familiar about her.
“Ever wonder if you made the right decision?”
“All the time. Got to go with your gut though.”
“I did, but now my gut is telling me to run back to him.” She sighed and looked down at the picture. Mike was smiling at her. It warmed her all the way through, but her heart ached because it was a picture and not Mike.
“Did you take that photo?”
She nodded.
“That’s love in his eyes. He’ll be in front of you before you expect it.”
Gwen huffed a sigh. “I hope you’re right. I feel like an idiot.”
“Why? Did you leave to prove to him, or yourself, that you were worthy?”
“Maybe both?” Gwen’s brow knit together. “I wouldn’t blame him if he lets me go.”
“That’s not the right attitude. How long since you’ve seen him?”
She looked up and met her gaze. “A few hours.”
“Then it’s much too soon to be worrying about whether or not he’ll come for you.”
“I suppose you’re right.” She laid her head back and closed her eyes. All she could see was the pleading in Mike’s eyes when he begged her not to go. That should have convinced her. It took her sitting in the airport for it to sink in. But by then, it was too late. He didn’t answer his phone when she tried to call him at the gate.
Accepting Fate Page 21
