‘It is, but she says she does not know me. That cannot be, for without a doubt this is Gerda.’
The first surge of joy had quickly changed to disbelief and confusion. He wanted to hug Gerda, but she was looking at him with large frightened eyes – eyes he knew so well. It cost him all the strength he had to make him stay where he was. Fixing his gaze on the man, he demanded, ‘You will explain why my sister believes she is someone else.’
‘Please, Herr Cramer, do not be angry. We will explain.’ Frau Manstein was close to tears. ‘It was a week after the bombing. Our daughter had been struck by flying masonry. We sat with her in the hospital, but nothing could be done and she died. There was a lovely girl in the next bed who did not even remember her name …’
Dieter gasped.
Herr Manstein took up the story. ‘She did not appear to have any living relatives, so we brought her with us and moved here. We gave her our daughter’s name and made her part of our family. We love her very much. She has brought us great joy.’ He lifted his hands in apology. ‘We hoped her relatives would never come to claim her.’
Dieter was stunned, but also grateful to them for taking her in and giving a stranger a secure and loving home. But that didn’t change the facts. ‘You have been most kind, but she is Gerda Cramer, my sister. I have been searching for her.’
‘Are you absolutely certain?’ Frau Manstein’s eyes were pleading. ‘General Strachan told us that you were a prisoner in England for a long time. Your sister would have grown in that time.’
He understood how they felt. They had taken her in place of the daughter they had lost, and loved her very much. His voice was gentle when he spoke. ‘She is my sister.’
The girl was staring at him without any sign of recognition. ‘I do not know you.’
He went and crouched in front of her chair, taking her hands in his. She gazed at their clasped hands. ‘Long fingers; you play piano?’
‘Yes.’ He was sure then that the memories were just under the surface. ‘What else do you know about me?’
Her eyes closed as she tried to remember, then she shook her head. ‘Nothing … and yet I have a feeling that I should know you.’
‘That is enough,’ Herr Manstein said firmly. ‘She has said she cannot remember you and we will not have her upset.’
Disappointed, Dieter sat in his chair again. He had expected a happy reunion when they saw each other again, not this. It hurt so much to find she did not know him, that she couldn’t remember the laughter and affection of their youth.
‘Dieter.’ Mrs Strachan touched his arm. ‘Leave it for today. Come back again tomorrow.’
Reluctantly, he stood up. ‘May I return tomorrow morning and see Gerda again?’
‘Of course.’ Frau Manstein smiled at last.
He held his hand out to his sister. ‘And may I give you a big hug, just like we always used to?’
She got to her feet and nodded shyly.
He drew her close and rested his cheek on hers, never wanting to let her go. It was a bitter-sweet moment. The dear sister he had thought dead was alive, but she didn’t know him. With a tremendous effort of self-control he managed to step away, give a slight bow to everyone in the room, then turn and walk away. It was the hardest thing he had ever done.
That evening he dined with Mrs Strachan, and she tried to distract him with stories of the people they had been able to help. Getting no response, she eventually brought the subject round to his sister.
‘What are you going to do?’ She folded her napkin and placed it beside her coffee cup. ‘I believe that she is indeed your sister. Although her colouring is slightly darker, there is a family resemblance.’
‘I am going to try to persuade her to come to England with me.’
‘I doubt she would want to do that. They are the only family she knows.’
‘That is true.’ Dieter ran a hand distractedly through his hair. ‘I shall see her again tomorrow and talk to her alone.’
‘Yes, that would be best, Dieter. You look exhausted. My husband will be back sometime tomorrow, and he might be able to help.’ She smiled. ‘He can be very persuasive at times.’
After breakfast Dieter read the newspapers, waiting for a suitable time to call on the Mansteins. Mrs Strachan had said she wouldn’t come with him today, and he had been roaming around since six o’clock, anxious to see Gerda again.
Ten o’clock finally arrived and he could wait no longer. After a sleepless night he had come to a decision. He had a good job waiting for him, and there was Danny. If Gerda returned with him, they could be a real family, and, though it would be a wrench for her, she would soon settle down. She might even regain her memory if she was with him all the time.
He hurried to the house and found the whole family waiting for him. It didn’t look as if any of them had had a decent sleep. They all appeared very strained, which was understandable in the circumstances. A stranger had turned up to claim the girl they had nurtured and loved.
His sister greeted him with a shy smile. ‘Would you like to sit in the garden?’
Dieter smiled and nodded. Gerda had always loved to be outside, whatever the weather. It had been nearly impossible to keep her in, even when it was pouring with rain.
The Mansteins left them alone, but the son, Heinrich, hovered, never taking his eyes off the girl he thought of as part of his family. They were clearly very fond of each other. He had said nothing yesterday, but today he looked very worried.
There was an old wooden bench against a brick wall in the small garden. It was sheltered from the breeze and a lovely suntrap. They sat down while the boy sprawled on the grass a discreet distance away.
‘Gerda.’ When he saw her start, he apologized.
‘Forgive me, but I cannot call you anything else.’
‘I understand. Will you tell me what your life is like in England?’
‘Do you not want to hear about us when we were children, about our parents?’
Clasping her hands together, she stared straight ahead. ‘I do not wish to know about the past.’
This saddened Dieter, but he must try to put himself in her place. Perhaps she knew, deep down, that something terrible had happened that would be too painful to remember. So he spent the next hour telling her about his son, Angie, the good friends he had made, and the new job he was about to start.
‘I want you to come back with me. It is a lovely place and we could have a good life together there.’
‘But I am happy here. And I am sorry, but I do not know you.’
Before Dieter could reply, the General strode into the garden with the Mansteins.
‘Hello, Dieter. Got back as soon as I could. So this lovely young girl is your sister.’ He looked from one to the other. ‘Yes, yes, I see the family resemblance.’
‘I have been trying to persuade her to come to England with me, but she does not want to.’ Dieter couldn’t hide the disappointment he was feeling. To have found her after he had given up all hope was beyond belief, and even if she didn’t know who he was, he wanted her with him.
‘Hmm.’ The General frowned, deep in thought. He had a reasonable grasp of the language, and after a few moments he spoke to Gerda. ‘I understand Dieter’s desire for you to be with him, and your desire to stay here, but what about a compromise? Come back to England with us. Consider it a holiday and a chance to get to know your brother again. If you want to stay, you can; if not, I will personally see that you return here.’
Dieter realized at that moment what a wise man the General was. He should have thought of that himself. He was confident that once Gerda had settled in and made friends, she would want to stay.
The family were naturally reluctant to let her go, but they agreed after a long discussion. However, Heinrich was not at all happy and argued fiercely against it.
‘I shall not be gone for long,’ Gerda assured him.
‘Dieter is my brother. A brother I cannot remember, so it is right I should get to
know him and meet his little son.’
After another long discussion it was agreed that she should visit England.
‘That’s settled, then.’ The General appeared satisfied.
‘Leave everything to me. I’ll make all the arrangements.’
Dieter took a silent breath in relief. Gerda didn’t really want to come, but once they were in England and she got to know him again, she was bound to want to stay. She might even get her memory back in time.
33
Over a week and still no news. Bob would have received the letter by now: it had been an airmail Forces letter. She waited anxiously every day for the postman, but it was too soon for a reply.
Danny never mentioned Dieter now, and he wasn’t taking his piano lessons with the same enthusiasm. Emma’s shriek made her glance out of the kitchen window and smile. They were chasing each other and yelling at the tops of their voices. The exuberant little girl was good for Danny. He was a thoughtful, sensitive boy and could easily have become too serious without her. The shock of losing his mother had changed him for a while, but Emma had pushed him back into being a lively child once again. She could remember walking into Jane’s house and always finding them laughing about something or other.
If only Dieter had stayed.
The sound of the truck pulling up outside the cottage had her running to the front door.
John got out and came towards her, his expression serious. ‘Get Danny, Angie; you must both come with me.’
‘What’s happened? Is there news? Is he back?’
He nodded. ‘You’ll see. Get Danny.’
She turned and ran into the garden. ‘Danny, Grandpa’s here and we’re going to the farm for tea.’
‘You were gonna have tea with me.’ Emma looked disappointed.
‘I know, but we have to go out. Tell your mummy we’ll come tomorrow instead.’
‘Okay, I’ll eat your jelly. S’pect it won’t last till then.’ Giving Danny a gleeful push, she ran into her own garden.
Not wanting to ask John what this was all about in front of Danny, Angie remained quiet on the short journey to the farm.
When they pulled into the yard, Hetty came out of the house with two other people. Angie felt her breath leave her body as relief flooded in.
‘Daddy!’ Danny was running as fast as his legs would carry him. ‘Daddy.’
Angie fought to control her emotions as Dieter scooped up his son and swung him high. This was the first time he had ever called him Daddy. All thought of being angry with Dieter vanished in the joy of having him back. She gazed at John, her eyes swimming.
He squeezed her arm. ‘Everything’s all right, Angie.’
‘Thank heavens he’s back, but who is that with him?’
‘Come and see.’
When they reached the group, Dieter put Danny down and gathered Angie into his arms, hugging her fiercely. ‘I apologize for worrying you, but I had to leave quickly. I might not have been able to find her if she had moved on again.’
‘I’m just so pleased to see you, and so is Danny. He called you Daddy.’
‘I know. I thought he would never do it. My happiness is now complete.’
Angie turned her attention to the young girl who was staring at Danny as if mesmerized.
‘This is my sister,’ he said quietly to Angie.
The girl bent down and reached out to touch Danny’s hair. ‘Dieter?’
Danny shot Angie a perplexed glance, then turned back to the girl. ‘My name’s Danny.’
Dieter took hold of her arm and made her stand up. ‘Danny is my son.’
A deep frown creased her brow. ‘Of course; he is like you.’
‘Yes. Do you remember me as a child?’
She began to talk rapidly in her own language, and Dieter tried to calm her.
Not wanting to intrude, Angie went and stood beside Hetty. ‘This is his sister?’
‘Yes, but she has lost her memory. It looks as if Danny has triggered something, though, so there’s hope she will remember in time.’
There was a slight resemblance in features, Angie noted, but the girl’s hair was slightly darker. If they were brother and sister, then Dieter had been given all the golden looks. But she did have a beauty of her own, only it was marred by her confused expression.
Angie’s heart went out to the brother and sister. What had this poor girl gone through that had caused her to forget even her own brother?
‘Speak in English.’ Dieter was holding her hands still and looking at her with love in his eyes. ‘I know you can. We used to talk like that all the time, much to father’s disapproval. Do you remember?’
She sighed and shook her head.
‘It will come back, Gerda. In time your memory will return.’ He smiled encouragingly. ‘When you saw my son, you thought it was me. You were not born when I was his age, but there were many photographs of me when I was that young. Something deep inside you remembered that.’
Dieter reached out for Danny, who was now holding on to Angie’s skirt and watching wide-eyed. ‘Come and meet your Aunt Gerda.’
He went towards his father and gave his new auntie a dimpled smile. ‘Hello.’
‘I am pleased to meet you.’ She spoke with a strong accent but had a reasonable grasp of the language. Then she smiled and the family dimples were in evidence.
‘And this is Angie.’ Dieter caught her hand and pulled her towards his sister.
‘Are you the little boy’s mother?’
‘No, that was my cousin. She died a while ago.’
‘Ah, yes. Dieter told me. That is sad.’ She shook Angie’s hand. ‘He is a beautiful child.’
The same air of politeness and dignity she had always seen in Dieter struck Angie. These two had been well brought up.
‘Now that we all know each other, shall we go inside?’ Hetty hustled everyone through the door. The kitchen was warm and filled with the appetizing smell of cooking and freshly baked bread. ‘You all go in the front room. It will take me only half an hour to finish off lunch.’
‘Daddy, are you going away again?’ Danny was trotting along, holding Dieter’s hand and gazing up at him.
He stopped and bent down. ‘I had to go to find my sister, but I shall not go away again.’
Danny watched as his new auntie went into the other room and whispered, ‘Was she lost?’
‘Yes, but she will be all right now. You will make her smile again.’
Angie watched the rapport between father and son. At last their relationship was acknowledged and secure. It was a good day.
‘Don’t she smile?’ he whispered.
‘Not very much at the moment.’
‘Let Em see her. She’ll make her laugh.’
Dieter chuckled. ‘I am sure she will.’
‘I’ve been doing my lessons,’ Danny informed him proudly. ‘I’ve got lots to show you.’
‘You can play for me after lunch.’ He looked quite overcome when Danny took his hand again.
When Dieter looked up at Angie, she gave a thumbs-up sign to let him know how pleased she was about everything.
They joined the others in the front room and Angie sat down, leaning forward, anxious to hear how Dieter had found his sister. ‘Will you tell us what happened?’
‘I must first apologize for upsetting you all.’ Dieter ran a hand through his hair and gazed affectionately at his sister, as if he couldn’t believe his eyes. ‘The General and Mrs Strachan had been in Germany about a week when I received a letter saying they had found some people who came from my home. They included photographs. I did not recognize anyone, except for one girl. It was Gerda. I had not seen her for nine years, and she had grown up in that time, but I was certain it was her. All I could think about was getting to her. I was afraid that if I didn’t get there quickly, she might disappear.’
He gave Angie an appealing look. ‘I am afraid I panicked. You understand?’
She nodded. ‘We felt you must have had a good
reason for taking off like that. But it would have saved us many anxious days if you’d said you had found your sister and would be back soon.’
‘I am very sorry, but I did not know what I was writing.’ He lifted his hands, palms up in a gesture of apology. ‘I could not waste a moment getting to Germany.’
‘We know that now, Dieter.’ Angie smiled gently. ‘All is forgiven. Now, what happened next?’
‘I had the address of the hotel where the Colonel’s parents were staying, so I went there immediately.’ Dieter then explained what had happened in Frankfurt.
‘I knew it was her as soon as I saw her, but she did not know who I was, and at first did not believe I was her brother. With the General’s help we managed to persuade her to come to England with us.’
The girl spoke for the first time. ‘I do not remember anything about my past.’
‘Gerda is going to stay here for a while.’ Hetty came in from the kitchen. ‘I’ve made up the room next to Dieter’s.’
‘If I wish to stay, Mrs Strachan has offered me work and a home with them.’ Gerda sighed. ‘They are very kind people.’
‘That will be wonderful.’ Angie liked Bob’s parents more and more. ‘It’s a lovely house.’
‘They showed me photographs. It is very grand, and’ – she glanced shyly at her brother – ‘it is not too far away, no?’
‘Of course it isn’t.’ John smiled encouragingly. ‘And when you have time off you must come and stay with us.’
‘You are all very kind.’ She chewed her lips anxiously.
‘If only I could remember, but perhaps I would not like the memories.’
‘They will be painful.’ Dieter spoke to her kindly.
‘But we shall all be here to help you through it. This is your family now, Gerda.’
Danny, who had been sitting quietly all this time, could contain himself no longer. ‘Will you play?’ he whispered. ‘I missed you.’
‘Of course.’ He stood up. ‘I shall play you one of your Aunt Gerda’s favourite pieces. Chopin’s Fantasie.’
Angie had never heard it before; it was beautiful. She saw a slight smile on Gerda’s face as she listened. The melody obviously tugged at her memory. Perhaps being with her brother would help her to recover.
Fighting with Shadows Page 31
