by Merry Farmer
“You knew I would have to go eventually,” he said, turning to face Aggie, but also on the look-out for a private place they could talk.
“I knew you were thinking of going. I didn’t know you’d decided on anything,” she said, adding, “Without me.”
“I’m not sure this is the appropriate time to have this discussion,” he said, well aware that half the people who had been working away in the square were now watching them.
“Then when is the appropriate time?” she asked, misery in her eyes that Andrew knew had more causes than his impending departure. “After you’ve left? After more people have shunned me for how I feel about you? Were you planning to send me a letter of explanation from a ship in the Atlantic?”
“Aggie,” Andrew said, all his regret and affection wrapped up in the one word.
“You’re going to abandon me to face what we started alone,” she said, her voice whispy, as though the thought had just occurred to her.
Andrew spotted a small alcove between three booths that had been constructed but not yet moved into place and gestured for her to follow him into the mostly secluded space.
“It’s my father, isn’t it?” Aggie asked once they were hidden from most people’s view. “Did he say something to you behind my back again? Did he threaten you somehow? Bribe you to stay away from me?”
“No,” Andrew said, placing a hand on her arm. “I mean, yes, he did threaten me, but not in any way out of the ordinary. And I wouldn’t be cowed by his harshest threats. I love you.”
Her face crumpled in misery. “Then why are you leaving? And why can’t everyone in town simply let the two of us be together?” she asked, raising her voice.
Andrew’s heart broke as the true reason for her gloom shone through. “We don’t live in a perfect world, Aggie. If we did, I’d’ve married you years ago. But the fact that I love you has nothing to do with why I need to visit Col. Montgomery while I can. I need to find out what he knows, especially if it helps me discover where I belong in this world.”
“You belong with me,” she insisted, reaching for his hands. “We belong together, even though….” She lowered her head, blinking rapidly.
It was such a change from the bold, defiant Aggie who had kissed him in plain sight of all of Brynthwaite. Now she was the Aggie who knew the consequences for stepping out of the rigid lines society painted for people to walk in.
“I think you should stay and fight,” she said at length, lifting her chin and staring him in the eye. “I think we should fight this together.”
Andrew shook his head. “And I think that even if we did, your life would never be the same.”
“I’m not sure I want it to be the same,” she said, but uncertainty laced her voice. She glanced out through the narrow opening between the booths as if seeing the town she loved through a whole new set of eyes.
“I have to go to South Africa,” Andrew said with more resolve than he felt. “But once I’ve learned what Col. Montgomery has to say and explored whatever consequences that brings. And since I don’t know how long that will take….” He let out a breath, scrubbing a hand over his face. “I think you should forget about me, Aggie.”
Her jaw dropped, and as he’d expected, fury flared in her eyes. “You think I should forget you?” She planted her hands on her hips. “You think that I could forget you?”
“I don’t mean it like that,” he said, not sure what he meant. His heart was telling him one thing and his head was telling him something else.
Aggie pinched her eyes closed and held her breath as though she were praying for patience. “I love you, Andrew Noble. I always will. Even though I feel like slapping you hard enough to send you to South Africa.”
On any other day, he would have grinned at her show of strength. “I’m sorry, Aggie, but it’s for the best.”
“Best for whom?” She demanded. “Do you think it’s best for me to have my reputation shattered, even though there is no justice at all in the shattering, and then for you to run off and leave me to face it on my own?”
“No, that’s not what I—”
“Then perhaps you should think twice about fleeing to the other side of the world without me.” She arched an angry brow at him.
“Aggie—”
“No, I don’t want you to answer now,” she said, holding up a hand. Her expression shifted from the indignant, spoiled daughter of a rich man to the mature, saddened woman he knew her to be. “Honestly, Andrew. I want you to think about this. I made my bed, but I don’t want to lie in it alone.” No sooner were the words out of her mouth than a deep blush painted her cheeks. “I mean—”
“I know what you mean,” he said with a smile that was equal parts teasing and melancholy.
“…over there later today.” The voice of someone passing the booths jolted them out of their kiss.
Andrew stepped to the edge of their alcove, checking to be sure they hadn’t been seen. “We should be careful,” he said.
She nodded, but he could tell she wasn’t happy about it. “I have things that need doing,” she said, walking past him.
He caught her hand as she swayed close. She paused, and their eyes met.
“I don’t want to leave you, Aggie, but you can’t blame me for wanting to protect you,” he said.
“And you can’t blame me for wanting to be with you,” she countered.
He nodded, then let her go. She hurried out into the busy square, blending into the crowd. Andrew watched her until she reached the street and crossed. He was a fool to think he could be a whole man without her, but part of him was still convinced letting her go was the noble thing to do.
Chapter 7
Aggie’s heart was heavy as she left the town square. She was careful to look both ways before crossing the street, searching both for speeding carriages and nosey neighbors. It wouldn’t do any good to be caught in a compromising position with Andrew again.
And yet, as that thought hit her, it turned her stomach to acid. Why should she have to hide the love she felt for a wonderful man? She stopped and let out a breath, balling her fists at her sides. As furious as she was with Andrew for even hinting that she shouldn’t be with him, if she couldn’t stand up to the consequences of their love, did she really deserve it?
Changing her mind, she marched back across the street and through the town square toward the line of booths that had been constructed earlier and where several Brynthwaite women were organizing bunting and other decorations. Love was love and shouldn’t have to hide for any reason. She would go about her business as usual, knowing she wasn’t the one in the wrong.
“Oh, Agatha, there you are,” Mrs. Garrett greeted her as she approached.
The other women stepped back from the huddle they’d formed and stared at Aggie. Every one of them had known her since she was a girl, but they all met her with brittle smiles of the sort that would be directed to a newcomer to town who hadn’t been vetted yet.
“Mrs. Garrett,” Aggie greeted the woman with as friendly a smile as she could manage, in spite of the growing well of suspicion in her gut. “Ladies.” She nodded to the others. “I’m here to help in any way I can.”
The other women exchanged nervous looks, avoiding meeting Aggie’s eyes. The air around them crackled with tension.
Mrs. Garrett cleared her throat, her cheeks more pink than usual. “The bunting is hopelessly tangled after being stored for the year. It would be lovely if you could untangle it.”
Aggie fought to keep her expression neutral. Untangling bunting was a job for a girl barely out of the schoolroom or a woman too old to tackle any of the more challenging jobs, like organizing the locations of the booths for each competition. “Certainly.” She did her best to smile and headed toward the table of tangled bunting.
“Well, that’s sorted,” Mrs. Garrett said, turning to the other women. They inched together and closed their circle, keeping Aggie on the outside. “The next thing we need to decide is who should fill the
judging positions that have been left vacant.”
Aggie tugged at the pile of faded blue, white, and red fabric, separating flags that had been twisted and knotted around each other. The task seemed gargantuan, especially with her nerves as raw as they were. The more she tugged, the more complicated the knots got. Much like her own life. She worked diligently, though, keeping her ears open for a way to join the other women’s conversation.
“Dr. Newsome has agreed to step in at the last minute as the judge for the biggest fish competition, so we should thank him for that when we have a chance,” Mrs. Garrett went on. “And I’m very pleased to announce that Mrs. Walter Haversham from Kendal will be making a special trip to judge the lace competition. She has her own seamstress shop on the High Street in Kendal,” she added with an air of importance.
Aggie’s heart squeezed. Mrs. Haversham was well-known and respected in Cumbria, just as she had hoped to be well-known and respected as a shopkeeper herself. Those dreams felt miles out of reach now, and bitterly so. She’d done so little to deserve such a fall from grace. The injustice of her situation had her ready to jump out of her skin. She tugged hard at the knotted bunting, and to her surprise, one of the more difficult knots came loose. It was a small victory, but she pulled at the freed ends of the flags with purpose. She would untangle the mess in front of her if it was the last thing she ever did.
“That only leaves the pudding contest,” Mrs. Garrett said, snapping Aggie out of her thoughts.
“What about asking Lady Waltham to judge the puddings?” Annabelle Garrett asked. She was met by a chorus of hums and doubtful sounds.
“I know she’s a countess now,” Mrs. Lovejoy said, “but she still dresses in those horrid clothes.”
“She’ll be too busy with Lord Waltham’s heir to continue carrying on like that in a few months,” Mrs. Farnsworth added with a knowing smile.
“So our judge should be someone else, then,” Mrs. Garrett went on.
“Excuse me,” Aggie threw down her bunting and marched over to the women. “I’m judging the puddings.”
The ladies pinched their mouths shut and looked away so fast that Aggie was surprised none of them passed out. The dread that filled her stomach only made her frown sharper as she attempted to make eye contact with any one of them.
At last Mrs. Garrett cleared her throat and said, “We’ve decided it would be in everyone’s best interest if you stepped back from judging this year.”
Aggie’s eyes widened. “Everyone’s best interest?”
The ladies turned varying shades of red and twisted even farther away from Aggie. Mrs. Garrett cleared her throat and made a poor attempt at a conciliatory smile. “Perhaps once things settle down a little….”
The last of Aggie’s patience snapped. She pulled herself to her full height, staring down each of the ladies who were brave enough to look at her. “You should all be ashamed of yourselves,” she said, not caring that the women she spoke to were older than her. That simply meant they should have known better. “How dare you treat me as something less simply because my regard and affection for a good man has become public knowledge. Andrew Noble is a fine man, a gentleman. And if your opinions of me have changed because I love him, then your opinions are not worth my notice.” She jerked her chin up, hoping she looked regal and not petulant. “Good day.”
Without so much as a nod, she pivoted and marched away. Her heart swelled with righteous indignation, but before she made it all the way across the square, it began to sink. By the time she reached the street and turned toward home, her eyes stung, and as she reached her front door, she had to clap a hand to her mouth to keep her sobs from welling up.
“Agatha,” her mother called from the front parlor as Aggie rushed inside and straight for the stairs that would take her up to the safety of her room. “Are you finished with festival preparations already?”
Aggie didn’t answer. She couldn’t bear to tell her mother what had happened, not just in the town square, but to her life. She sought solace behind the closed door of her room, throwing herself across her bed and bursting into tears.
She loved Brynthwaite. It was her home, her society. She fit into the life she was born to so well. Or so she had thought. One twist, one change, one moment of giving her heart away, and suddenly she was on the outside. Everything she had believed to be true, every value she had upheld, was dashed to pieces. It was bitterly unfair, and yet the more it hurt her, the more she understood everything Andrew had lived with for his whole life.
At the thought of Andrew, Aggie sat straight on her bed and dried her eyes. She’d known all along that he was one of the best people she’d ever met, even though she was ready to throttle him in that moment. But was she really as angry as all that? He hadn’t lied to her. The circumstances of their love were difficult, whether she wanted them to be or not. He loved her, in spite of the consequences. He would love her no matter what changed or didn’t change, no matter who else entered her life. Unlike everyone she’d called her friend for her whole life, he cared for her unconditionally.
She stood, her heart thumping frantically in her chest. She couldn’t let him go on thinking she was angry with him for being rational. She couldn’t let him leave, not without her. If he left Brynthwaite, her life would turn into a hollow reflection of the joy she felt when she was with Andrew. She left her room, rushing down the stairs, through the hall, and left the house. The sun had dipped close to the horizon, and she rushed through town in the warm hues of sunset. It felt as though her life in Brynthwaite was coming to an end as well.
Her heart was in her throat by the time she reached the door to Andrew’s small flat on the ground floor of one of a row of houses on Church Street. She knocked, then darted a look up and down the street, checking to see if she was being watched. Her heart broke over the fact that she needed to watch herself and remain unobserved in the town that was supposed to be her own.
“Aggie.” Andrew answered the door with a look of surprise. He stepped back to allow her to rush into the safety of his flat. “What are you doing here?” he asked as soon as he shut the door.
“I’m going with you,” she said, the intensity of her emotion pouring into those few words. “I’m sorry I was angry with you, and you are absolutely right about how impossible we are, but I don’t care. I’m going with you to South Africa.”
For a moment, Andrew simply stood there, gaping at her. Aggie longed to throw herself into his arms, but caution held her back. “You want to go with me halfway across the world,” Andrew said.
“Yes.” Aggie took a step closer to him.
“You would abandon your life here for me?” he asked on. “Because you know what your father would say, what he would do, if you left with me.”
“I don’t care.” She took another step toward him, reaching for his hands. “These last few days, my world has turned upside down, and for the worst of reasons. I love you, Andrew, and that should not be a reason for the people who have known me my entire life to shun me.”
Resolve hardened in Andrew’s eyes. He lifted her hands and held them to his chest, where his heart pounded. “It wouldn’t be easy,” he said. “The people of Brynthwaite have been kind compared to how the rest of the world will treat us.”
“But you’re not telling me no,” she said, swaying into him. “You’re not telling me I can’t go with you.”
“How could I ever say no to you?” he said, his voice thick with passion. He cradled her face in one, large hand. “I tried to tell myself it was cruel to let you hope where the two of us are concerned, but it’s no use. I love you, Aggie, and if you’re willing, I will cross through hell with you just so the two of us can be together.”
“Andrew.” She spoke his name as a blessing and an expression of joy.
“And make no mistake,” he went on. “We will go through hell.”
“Until we find a place where we can be together and make into a heaven,” she said.
He leaned forw
ard, kissing her with a tender passion. His arm slid around her waist, tugging her close. Aggie hugged him in return, never wanting to let go. His kiss was magical, enveloping her. It made her feel both safe and as though she were walking on the edge of the greatest adventure of her life. Heat spilled through her, igniting parts of her that were only for him.
“Marry me,” he said, his voice rough, between kisses. “I don’t want there to be any doubt between the two of us. I want the world to know that you are mine and I am yours in every way, no matter where we go.”
“Yes,” she answered, the word welling up from her soul. “Forever, yes.”
He pulled her tighter into his arms and brought his mouth crashing over hers. He was firm and commanding, and Aggie wanted nothing more than to melt into his embrace. She reveled in the heat of his body pressed against hers. Even through the layers of their clothes, she could feel the power and strength of his muscles. Her body responded with an ache that began in her core and pulsed larger and larger with each movement Andrew made to bring them closer together. His lips parted hers, and his tongue slipped in, delving and exploring.
Aggie threw caution to the wind, reaching under Andrew’s waistcoat to tug his shirt out of his trousers so that she could spread her hand across the bare flesh of his side. Andrew caught his breath, leaning slightly away from her.
“I know you’re bold, and I love you for it,” he said, a deep, tempting purr in his voice, “but I’m afraid if we start, we won’t be able to stop.”
“I don’t want to stop,” she said, sliding her hand farther up his back and pressing her fingertips into his muscles. “I want all of you.”
He kissed her again, but tension hardened his body. “Are you sure?” he asked, even as his hands moved across her sides, brushing close to her breasts. “Once we’re together, there’s no going back.”
“I don’t want to go back,” she insisted. “I want to go forward with you.”
