"No!" He sat up beside her. "I won’t even let you think it."
She shook her head. "But I’m not being fair to you, Daniel. You deserve so much better than I give you."
"Don’t you realize what you give me?" He pushed her hair behind her shoulder so that he could see her better. "I thought I had everything I needed before I saw you. I thought my life was full. But I had a regimented life-style, dry and organized. You brought unexpectedness and gentleness and laughter into my life, but most of all you brought me love. I won’t let you leave me."
She looked solemnly at him. "But I’m afraid all the time, Daniel."
"Everyone has fears, Sami, don’t you know that?"
"What are you afraid of?"
He lifted his hand and touched her cheek caressingly. "I’m afraid of losing you."
What irony, she reflected sorrowfully. At the bottom of all her fears was her biggest fear of all—her fear of losing him. Yet because of what had happened to her as a child, she couldn’t tell him. She had been abused as a child and now she was handicapped as an adult.
Her eyes held his for an endless moment that was poignant with all the things she couldn’t express to him, yet when she finally did speak, there was a telling break in her voice. "In more ways than I can say . . . I have such a need for you."
Slowly Daniel brought his lips to hers, touching them with a tenderness that pushed a rush of liquid heat through her entire circulatory system. Her mouth opened to his, and she felt herself being lowered back down to the warm, silken depths of the bed. His lips moved to her ear, following the delicate curves to the lobe, where he stopped to nibble for a while.
Sami’s hands clutched at his shoulders, and his lips moved to the hollow behind her ear, to the crazily beating pulse point. Daniel inhaled deeply. "You smell so good . . ." His lips slid down her neck, and his hand took possession of her breast, his fingers curling into her softness. ". . . and you feel so good . . ." His teeth took a tiny bite of the skin at the base of her throat. ". . . and you taste so good."
Sami moaned and ran her fingers down the length of his back, experiencing the rippling of his corded muscles under the smooth texture of his skin. There was a weakness that seeped deep into her limbs as he moved over her, putting his two legs between hers, and a delicious shiver passed through her body.
A sweet yearning suffused her, and then his mouth came back to hers and his tongue dipped into her mouth with a hot fierceness. Her whole body burst into flames, and she writhed beneath him, cupping her hands around the lean hardness of his buttocks and pulling him closer to her.
"Oh, yes," he murmured, "oh, yes. Do you honestly think I could ever live without you?"
His hand was still on her breast, and now his fingers went to the tip and began lightly pinching it. She wasn’t sure she could stand it. She didn’t think her body could contain anymore of this hot pleasure. She felt as though the molten pressure that had been steadily building inside of her would surely explode right through her skin. Her nails scratched down his back in an agony of passion.
Then he thrust easily into the moist depths of her body. And all the while, his mouth never stopped devouring hers, and his fingers never stopped pulling at the engorged peak of her breast, and his body didn’t stop the driving, forceful, undulating movements into hers.
"Do you know what it feels like for me to be inside of you?" he growled hoarsely.
"How?" Her head turned frantically from side to side, and her honey-gold hair lay in damp curls around her forehead. His voice came to her through a soft haze of passion.
"It feels like I’m in a circle of black velvet . . . deep . . . and dark . . . and oh—so tight." The words burned from his mouth into hers. She was being seared from the inside out.
Sinking her fingers into his flesh, she arched against him time after time. Then it began, the spasms of pleasure, pleasure so hot and so intense that it seemed to Sami as if it couldn’t get any greater. But then it did.
Daniel carried them to the extreme heights of ecstasy, so cataclysmic that it shook both of them. Descending through the sweet haze of their rapture, Daniel held her close, and even after she had fallen asleep, Daniel didn’t let her go.
#
"Morgan, he asked me to marry him!"
The golden light of the afternoon flooded Sami’s loft and illuminated the two friends. Morgan sat calmly in the white porch swing, watching while Sami paced back and forth in front of her. Sami’s filmy dress of many layers had a handkerchief hemline, and it swirled away from her calves every time she turned, revealing leg warmers and bare feet.
"And this is a surprise to you? Good grief, Sami, even though you haven’t let any of us near him, it’s been so obvious. Why is it that you can see some things so clearly, yet when it comes to yourself, you’re quite dense?"
"Don’t you understand? He doesn’t know about me, Morgan!"
"You haven’t lied to him, Sami."
"I haven’t told him the truth either, and Daniel is so damned proper, it would shock the living daylights out of him if he knew who I really was."
"You’re talking as if you were going to have to reveal that you were Jack the Ripper, for goodness’ sake. Get some perspective on the situation."
"I know him, Morgan. He’ll hate the fact that I withheld the truth from him." She sank onto the floor in front of Morgan, and a flurry of chiffon settled around her.
"Well, evidently he feels he knows everything he needs to know."
"He’s been so wonderfully patient with me, but how much longer will he go on being patient? Or I guess the question is, how much longer can I go on asking him to be patient?" Her voice became very quiet. "He doesn’t know about my background, who my parents were, or where I come from."
"Haven’t you told him anything at all about yourself?"
"He knows my parents are dead, and that I occasionally have nightmares about something that happened to me once." She made a wild gesture with her hands. "He thinks I’m poor, Morgan!"
"I’m betting he can handle it. He’s immensely wealthy himself. Besides, Daniel Parker-St. James is not dumb, Sami. He sees you in those antique clothes of yours. He has got to know how much they cost."
"Men don’t notice things like that, Morgan. I’m sure all he sees is old, not to mention different."
"I don’t believe that for a minute. I also don’t believe that anything you can tell him about yourself will make one iota of difference in terms of how he feels about you."
"I wish I could believe that," Sami murmured.
"Tell him and find out," Morgan urged.
"I don’t know if I have the courage to do that."
Morgan pushed herself up out of the swing, and walked over to Sami with as much grace as possible, considering the weight of her pregnancy. Putting her hands on Sami’s shoulders, she fixed her with the blue-green gaze of her eyes. "You’re one of the bravest people I’ve ever known, Sami Adkinson. Don’t you realize that a childhood like you had would have destroyed most people? But it didn’t. You not only survived; you have risen above it and managed to deal with it in your own unique way. You’re a remarkably special human being with a beautiful soul."
"I don’t think I’ve done such a wonderful job in dealing with it." Sami gave a sad little laugh. "I have these weird fears that I have to cope with every day and night of my life."
"They’re not weird, love. Unfortunately, there are valid reasons for each of them. And besides, there’s not a person alive who’s not afraid of something to some extent."
"Daniel said something like that, but he just doesn’t realize." Sami shook her head. "I can’t imagine what he’ll say when he finds out about me."
"Sami!" Morgan shook her shoulders gently. "You’ve got to get over thinking that people are going to reject you like your parents did. I didn’t. Jerome didn’t. Stop equating Daniel with your parents."
"You went through it with me. And Jerome, well, he’s Jerome. But Daniel . . . well, if Daniel were
to reject me, I don’t know what I would do." She made a despondent little sound. "Do you know I haven’t even been able to tell him I love him?"
Morgan’s eyes flashed her anger. "God, I hope, wherever your parents are, they’re paying for what they did to you!"
"Don’t say that." Sami pulled away from her.
"It’s the truth, Sami, and you’ve never been able to see it. You’ve always insisted on taking the full blame for the fact that they didn’t love you."
"I tried so hard with them," she murmured, her voice quivering with pain. "You know I did. When I was told they were going to be coming home, I’d dress up in my prettiest dress and wait hours and hours for them to show up. But they frequently changed their plans without letting anyone know, something I couldn’t grasp. I would refused to give up on them. For days I’d keep that dress on and would wander around that big house, waiting for them.
"But if and when they would actually show up, I’d be so excited. I’d run down the stairs, my arms out, wanting a hug more than anything else in the world." She wrapped her arms around herself. "They wouldn’t even notice me, and if they did, they would actually seem irritated and would send me back with the governess."
Morgan shook her head. "That woman was meaner than a snake. And as for your parents, what they did to you was unspeakable. At least my parents were rough on me because of their misguided conception of love." Morgan collapsed angrily back into the swing, and Sami resumed her pacing.
Out of the corner of her eye, Sami saw that her friend was chewing on her bottom lip. That wasn’t a good sign. It meant that Morgan was just as worried as she was.
"Admit it, Morgan. Because of my stupid fears, I’ve blown any chance at happiness I might ever have had with Daniel. He’ll never forgive me."
"You listen to me. Stop all that negative thinking, not to mention that pacing," Morgan ordered sternly. "You’re going to wear a hole through the floor to Jerome’s apartment! Besides, you’re making me and the baby dizzy." She patted the place beside her. "Come over here and sit with me. I want to show you something."
Sami did as she was told, albeit reluctantly. But she couldn’t stand the thought that she might be making the baby dizzy.
When she was seated, Morgan picked up one of her hands and put it on her stomach. "Feel that?"
To Sami’s great surprise, something moved under her hand—a small, fluttery movement and then a big jab, something like a kick.
"Morgan! Are you okay?"
Morgan laughed delightedly. "Yes. Sometimes I’m not sure what I’m going to have. This baby is definitely going to be either a dancer or a linebacker. Frankly, I don’t care which, and neither does Jason. The point is, Sami, it doesn’t matter what my parents did to me. The past is behind me. I’m going to have a child of my own, and with the help of Jason, I’m going to give my child what your parents and my parents never gave you or me: an abundance of love, a great sense of self-confidence, and a wonderful feeling of security."
"You’ve got one lucky baby inside you, Morgan." Sami’s voice quivered slightly. "You’re going to make a wonderful mother."
"So will you."
"I don’t know." Sami shook her head wistfully. "I can’t even imagine it."
"You’ve got to put the past behind you, Sami. You’re always so ready to fight for the happiness of the people you love, yet you’ve never been willing to fight for yourself. You helped me fight for Jason. Now you need to concentrate on yourself. Quit selling yourself short. You’ll see. You’re going to have your dream of happiness, too, and it’s going to be with Daniel."
Sami twisted a curl around her finger. Morgan was right. She had to do something. But what? And how could she do It? She couldn’t just go up to Daniel and say, "Excuse me, but let me introduce myself. I’m Samuelina Adkinson, heiress extraordinary to the fabled Adkinson fortune."
No. She couldn’t do that, not after months of letting Daniel think that she was just plain Sami Adkins.
A loud ringing noise jolted her out of her musings. "What’s that?"
"That, my dear friend, is the sound of a telephone ringing." Morgan pushed herself up out of the swing again and made her way across the loft.
Sami eyed the telephone suspiciously. "But it’s never plugged in."
"You’ll have to forgive me, but I plugged it in. Besides heartburn and swollen ankles, being eight and a half months pregnant has given me a compulsion to stay in touch with the outside world. You know," she tossed over her shoulder, "outside world, as in my husband, Jason, not to mention my obstetrician." She picked up the phone. "Hello . . . Yes, she’s here. May I ask who’s calling? Yes. Just a moment, please." She covered the mouthpiece. "It’s Mr. Caruthers, of Caruthers, Caruthers and Caruthers."
Saml’s brow knitted into a frown. "Mr. Caruthers?"
"The head of your Boston law firm, Sami."
"I know who he is. I just can’t figure out what he wants. He sends me long, detailed reports like clockwork every month."
"Why don’t you ask him?" Morgan suggested wryly, holding out the phone toward Sami.
"No!" Sami recoiled at the very idea. "You ask him, Morgan. Please?"
"Mr. Caruthers, this is Morgan Saunders Falco. Could I perhaps pass a message along to Sami? Uh-huh . . . uh-huh . . . I see . . . just a moment. Sami, he says something urgent has come up and they need you in Boston within the next few days. Decisions to be made, papers to be signed, that sort of thing."
Sami came up out of the swing in one swift movement. "That’s impossible! I can’t go to Boston now. He’ll just have to come here."
Morgan put the phone back to her ear. "Mr. Caruthers, Sami suggests that it would be more convenient for her if you were to come here. Uh-huh . . . I see . . . just a moment. Sami, he says that’s out of the question. There are just too many details, and they would be better worked out in Boston."
Sami glared at the phone for a moment, then turned around and stalked to the window. Drumming her fingers on the windowsill, she gave her problems a full thirty seconds’ consideration before twirling back toward the phone. Covering the distance between her and it, she stopped short a couple of yards away and directed Morgan with what could easily be classified as a yell. "You tell Mr. Caruthers that he works for me, not the other way around, and that it might be advantageous to him to remember it. You can also tell him that my family’s money has kept Caruthers, Caruthers and Caruthers, et al., in luxury for more years than either of us can remember, but if he can’t figure out a way to bring this problem, whatever it is, to me, then I’ll just find a law firm that can."
"Mr. Caruthers, Sami says . . . oh, you heard . . . I see, and you’ll be here within the week . . . uh-hmmm . . ."
"And you can also tell him"—Sami continued her shouted instructions—"that I want him to bring all of the family jewels with him. All of them."
"And she also says"—Morgan stopped in mid-sentence and looked at Sami in disbelief—"you want him to what?"
Sami gave Morgan a beautifully peaceful smile. "I want him to bring all of my jewelry to me. I’m going to a party."
Chapter Eight
Sami could feel Daniel’s contemplative gaze upon her bent head as she pushed the food around her plate in a desultory fashion.
"You’re not eating. Is something wrong with the food?"
She raised her head. "The food is fine. Mrs. Abbott has done her usual excellent job."
"Then what’s wrong? Aren’t you feeling well?"
Twirling the fork between her fingers, she said hesitatingly, "I’m fine. It’s just that I’ve been thinking how nice it would be if we had a party."
"Seriously?" His dark brows raised in surprise. "What kind of a party?"
"A party-party—black tie and very elegant."
"I see." His dark blue eyes narrowed on her thoughtfully. "And who would you like to invite?"
"All of your friends, especially the ones who were at the art-gallery show."
"What about some of your friend
s?"
"Yes." She nodded slowly, thinking of Jerome, Morgan, and Jason. "There are a few people I’d like to invite, too."
His voice lightened. "I think that would be great. I’d love to meet your friends—you know that."
Getting up from her chair, Sami walked around the table to Daniel and put her hands around his neck. Bending down, she gave him a kiss. "Thank you. You’ll like them."
His arms reached out to her waist and pulled her down to his lap. "If they’re friends of yours, I don’t see how I can help but like them." One of his hands reached out to play idly with a strand of her honey-gold hair. "Tell me, does this mean you’ve decided to let me into that part of your life that you keep shut off, at least a little?"
Her eyes became troubled. "You’ve been so patient with me, Daniel."
"Have I complained?"
"No. You’ve been wonderful."
"Then do something for me."
She couldn’t help it. Her voice turned cautious. "What?"
"Eat something for me."
Relief flooded through her at his simple request. Leaning back into the crook of his arm, she eyed his plate. "Okay. What have you got?"
"Some chicken." He picked up a bite-sized piece and put it against her parted lips. Slowly, he pushed the chicken into her mouth, until both the chicken and his thumb and forefinger were in her mouth. With her tongue, she flicked the piece out of his fingers, giving herself a brief taste of his fingers before she began chewing.
"Ummm. This is good. Did I have chicken on my plate?"
"Yes, you did." He chuckled. "How about some peas?"
"Are you going to feed them to me one at a time?"
"If you like. Open up," he directed, and popped a pea into her mouth.
"I think I can handle more than that."
"Okay." He scooped up a spoonful and offered it to her. "Now, when would you like to have this party?"
"As soon as possible. I think if I got the invitations out in the next day or two, we could set the date for the end of next week, don’t you?"
For the Love of Sami Page 11
