by Rye Hart
“Well, you always tried to teach me that anything worth having is worth working for.”
Her smile was warm, and she nodded. “That's true,” she said. “We don't appreciate the things that come to us too easily.”
“No,” I said. “We don't. And that was one of the best things you ever taught me, Mom.”
“I wanted you to have a strong work ethic,” she said. “To never settle for anything and to always be willing to work hard for what you want.”
“And that's a lesson that's helped me get so far in life.”
“But, you know, you're not just living your life for yourself anymore,” she said softly. “Right? It's not all about you anymore, Hadley.”
“I know,” I say, that sense of shame washing over me once more.
“You have to put Grayson first,” she said. “You have to think about his wants and his needs, what's in his best interests before anybody else's. Mine. The Walkers. Even your own.”
“I know, Mom.”
“Do you?”
I finally met her gaze again and all thought of arguing or protesting, no matter how much I wanted to in that moment, fled. She was right. Ever since we hit town again, ready to start over, I'd been behaving badly. I'd only been thinking of myself, and not thinking through the possible ramifications of my actions upon my baby boy.
Ever since I got back to Castle Creek, I'd been putting my own needs, wants, and desires above all else. Even Grayson. “I do,” I said. “Now.”
Mom leaned back on the sofa and looked at me. I knew she knew something had happened between me and the Walker boys. She just didn't know what – and I sure as hell wasn't going to tell her. But, I had to give her credit, I could see her curiosity, but she wasn't going to push. “For whatever it's worth,” she said. “I truly think Castle Creek would be the best place to raise Grayson. He'll be surrounded by people who love him. People who will help and support him. And best of all, he won't have to deal with the memories and old ghosts that still live in San Diego. I think a fresh start would do wonders for that little boy.”
I was inclined to agree with her. If nothing else, getting away from all of the memories Chris left behind in San Diego would probably help him heal and move forward in life, more than anything. I also had no doubt that the love and support he would receive from everybody around him there in Castle Creek, would help make him a better more well-rounded little boy.
Over it all though, hung the specter of what I'd done with Evan, Jared, and Gabe. It cast a long, dark shadow over it all. Even though Gabe told me everything was cool, and that it was all just as the same as I'd left it, I had more than a few doubts.
Could I live in a town that small knowing what I'd done with the Walker boys? It wasn't like San Diego, where I had a million people to act as a buffer zone. No, in Castle Creek, I was going to run into them again and again. Was that something I could live with?
Maybe the better question and the one I should have been asking though, was Grayson going to be able to live without everything Castle Creek had to offer him?
“All I can promise right now is a visit, Mom,” I said. “I just – I just don't know if we can stay here permanently.”
She nodded, but I could see that small flicker of disappointment in her eyes, which, of course, sent a jagged lance of pain through my heart.
“I understand, dear,” she said. “And ultimately, it's your decision. I just hope you factor in the maximum amount of happiness for Grayson when you consider your options.”
“I will, Mom,” I said. “I promise you that.”
***
The light streaming in through the windows pulled me out of my sleep. I groaned and rolled over, checking the time. It was seven-thirty. After staying up and talking to my mom until around two, I wanted nothing more than to sleep for a few hours more.
Wasn't going to happen though. Almost as soon as my eyes opened, my stomach started to roil and churn. I felt the bile in my throat rising, and jumped out of bed, hoping to make it to the bathroom in time.
I dropped down onto the tile in front of the toilet a moment before everything I'd eaten in the last day came pouring out. I heaved and wretched, emptying everything in my belly into the bowl. My stomach tightened and lurched. Christ, I felt awful.
Finally sure that nothing else was coming up, I got to my feet and turned the sink on. I splashed cold water on my face several times, trying to wake myself up and put some color back into my cheeks.
As I stared at myself in the mirror, trying to figure out what I ate that could have given me food poisoning, an unsettling thought stole over me.
“No,” I said to my alarmingly pale reflection. “It couldn't be. No way.”
There was no denying the fact though, that my breasts were a little swollen and suddenly very tender. I touched them gently, stunned by how sensitive they were – and it came on completely out of the blue.
I threw on a t-shirt and some jeans and bolted downstairs. Grayson was in the living room playing with my mom.
“Going somewhere?” my mom asked me.
“I just have to go down to the store to get a few things,” I said.
“Of course, dear,” she said. “We were just about to make some breakfast. Weren't we, Grayson?”
My little boy cheered and clapped his hands, giggling and smiling in a way that made my heart melt. He just looked so much happier sitting with my mom than he had back in San Diego. There was a life and vibrancy to him I couldn't deny.
“I'll be back in a few minutes,” I said.
***
An hour later, I was sitting on the toilet seat lid, tapping my feet, the knots in my stomach twisting and constricting painfully. My stomach was still roiling and churning, but not with nausea this time. No, this time it was with anticipation.
I read the little sheet of instructions I'd pulled out of the box again carefully, making sure I hadn't skipped any steps. It was mostly just to give myself something to do. Something to provide a little bit of a distraction for me.
This was the most agonizing few minutes of my life.
I buried my face in my hands, feeling like I might be sick with the stress of it all. I was scared. What would happen if I was? What was I going to do? Yeah, it had sounded like a good idea at the time, but the reality of the situation was so vastly different than the idea of it. Would this bring more problems into my circle of friends? How would Gabe react if I was pregnant with one of his brother's baby?
“Christ, what have I done?” I muttered to myself.
A soft knock sounded on the bathroom door. “You okay in there, Hadley?”
My mom's voice was slightly muffled through the door, but it still carried the power to make me cringe. I almost swept everything off the counter and into the trash can on instinct. Just like I had when I was a kid and didn't want my mom finding things.
“Yeah, I'm okay,” I said. “Just cleaning up a bit.”
“Okay,” she said. “I'm going to take Grayson down to the store with me, if that's okay? I promised him we'd make some cookies and I need to pick up a few things.”
“Of course,” I said. “Maybe I can help you guys bake them when you get back.”
“That would be wonderful, Hadley,” she said. “I know Grayson would enjoy it.”
“It's a date,” I said, trying to sound cheerful.
I listened to her footsteps retreating from the bathroom and buried my face in my hands again. I heard the sound of the front door closing.
“Please,” I said to whatever higher power might be listening. I wasn't sure I was ready for this. I wanted a baby, yes, but I honestly hadn’t expected it to happen so quickly. I said a silent prayer, unsure of whether I wanted it to be positive or not. God, I so badly wanted a child. I'd be over-the-moon, but what would the Walkers think?
A few moments later, the alarm on my phone chirped and I looked up, a knot forming in my throat. The indicator sat on the edge of the sink. I didn't want to look at it, and yet I
knew I had to. With a trembling hand, I reached out and picked it up, continuing to say a silent word of prayer. When I looked it, my heart went from my throat, down into the gaping pit that had suddenly opened up in my stomach. I suddenly felt like I might be sick.
I looked at the display and the tears started to roll down my cheeks. It was positive.
“I'm pregnant,” I whispered to the empty bathroom around me. “Jesus Christ, I'm pregnant.”
A smile crept across my face, and that's when I realized, the tears that were falling were happy tears. For better or worse, I was getting my wish.
I was having a baby.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
EVAN
I rubbed my temples as we sat in the realtor's office while my ex continued arguing with her. The two had been going at it for half an hour already, and nothing Rebecca wanted was going to happen. Both Carol and I had made it very clear that she wouldn't have a say in the sale of the house.
It was, after all, my house. I'd paid for everything. She merely lived in it and had decorated it. Yes, it was supposed to be her home too, but that ended when she slept with half the town.
“I don't understand why you have to sell it, Evan,” she said, turning to me with pursed lips. “You need a place to stay, I need a place to stay – we could be amicable and stay there together.”
“No,” I said plainly.
“Why not? It's custom built, you're not going to find a more perfect home for us – ”
“There is no 'us' anymore, Rebecca,” I said, fighting to keep my voice calm. “And I don't need a five bedroom home just for me. And I'm most definitely not going to be sharing a home with you. No matter how large it is.”
Carol looked shell-shocked, but quickly managed to get herself under control. The poor woman deserved a prize for putting up with us. I was sure we weren't the first couple to walk in who needed to sell a house because of a split, but Rebecca had to be the most difficult person she'd dealt with. She was the most difficult person I'd ever met, that was for sure.
Rebecca sat back in her chair and stroked the arms of it, staring straight ahead at Carol. The little old lady always managed to keep a friendly smile on her face, and she stayed out of our personal squabbles. It was one reason I'd hired her for the job.
“I have a couple that would be perfect for your home,” Carol said, getting to the reason for the meeting, since Rebecca had finally shut her trap. “A husband and wife with two darling little girls and another one the way. New to Castle Creek. I say, we need to focus on staging the spare rooms as children's rooms, with one staged as an office.”
I nodded. “I agree. It was originally meant to be a family home.”
Carol gave me a sympathetic smile but seemed to be bracing herself for Rebecca's onslaught.
“We'll have to be ready to view by the weekend,” Carol said softly. “Just in time for the Hendersons, since they're coming in from Denver next week to start looking.”
“Perfect,” I said.
I looked down at my hands in my lap, waiting to see what else we needed to do to get the ball rolling. Rebecca reached over and placed her hand on top of mine, which made me sit up straight and stare at her as if she'd grown a second head.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“Sweetie,” she said, her eyes wide and filled with tears, “Just think about this for a moment, will you? Those rooms could be our children's rooms, not someone else's. They were designed to be – ”
I pulled my hand away and focused my attention on Carol. “Is there anything else we need to discuss? I'd really like to get moving on this as soon as possible.”
“No, nothing,” she said softly. “Laura will be by this evening with a few pieces of furniture to set up, but you don't have to be there as long as someone is – ”
I nodded. “I'll be there.”
I didn't trust Rebecca to handle things alone. She'd probably sabotage things on purpose. Or maybe I was giving her too much credit. Sometimes it felt like she thought this was a game, some sort of punishment for her misdeed instead of actually splitting up once and for all, and that I'd eventually come around and reconcile with her.
I thanked Carol and stood up, ready to leave. As I moved toward the door, Rebecca was hot on my heels. As we exited the building and I crossed the parking lot, she kept trying to catch up to me.
“Evan, please, this has gone too far,” she said.
“I don't know what you're talking about, Rebecca,” I said.
I hit the key fob to unlock my car door, but she stepped in front of it, blocking me from getting inside and leaving.
“Can we please go somewhere to talk?” she asked. “That's all I ask.”
“I have to get back to the house,” I said. “The staging company is coming over soon, and I need to clean some things out of the spare rooms.”
“Please, Evan. Just a coffee,” she said, pointing to the place next door to Carol's agency. I sighed. She wasn't about to move out of the way until I agreed to it. Either that, or we'd be fighting just as long as it would have taken us to grab a damn cup of coffee.
“Fine. Just a cup of coffee,” I relented. “But, that's it.”
She grinned from ear-to-ear, those side eyes disappearing as quickly as they appeared. She grabbed my hand and pulled me toward Cup O' Joe's Cafe and Bakery, and because I was tired, I let her. However, as soon as we stepped into the cafe, I pulled my arm free. She stared at me, slack-jawed, but then noticed where I was looking.
Hadley and Grayson were sitting in the corner, enjoying a scone together from the looks of it. Hadley saw me and her eyes grew wide. Rebecca looked at the other woman, then at me.
“Isn't that your godson and his mom?” she asked.
“Yeah, something like that,” I said. “I'm going over to say hi.”
“I'll join you,” Rebecca said.
She clung to my arm before I could stop her. I tried to brush her off, but she held on tight as we walked over to Hadley's table.
“Long time, no see,” I said. “Thought you up and disappeared again.”
“I did,” Hadley said, taking a sip from her coffee cup. “But now I'm back. What else do you want me to say?”
She sounded slightly annoyed, and she never once looked at me. Only Rebecca. I yanked my arm free at last and scowled at Rebecca, hoping she'd get the hint.
“I was just worried about you, that's all. Everything seemed fine the last time we saw each other.”
My cheeks flushed, and I felt a tightening in my groin as I remembered the last time we saw each other, and what had happened. Judging by the sudden flush of her cheeks, Hadley was recalling that night too.
“Anyway, Rebecca and I were just talking to the realtor,” I said. “I'm selling our house since we're not long going to be living in it.”
Hadley looked over Rebecca, as if appraising her.
“Sorry to hear about that. I've heard it's a lovely house,” Hadley said. “Wish I could have seen it.”
“You still can,” I said, shrugging. “I mean, if you want to come by, I'm heading over there now.”
Grayson piped up, “Can we, please?”
“Uhh,” Hadley looked conflicted, especially since Rebecca was now glaring at her, but it was like something in Rebecca's face flipped a switch in Hadley. “Sure. I'd be happy to, Evan.”
Rebecca reached for my arm - again - and this time, I managed to keep out of reach.
“Alright then. Sounds like a plan,” I said.
My pulse quickened a bit at the thought of spending more time with Hadley, but I tried to ignore it. It was difficult though. Every time I looked at her, all I saw were snippets and flashes of that one erotic night we spent together.
“We're just going to get a coffee, then we can head out,” I said. “Sound good?”
Rebecca chimed in. “Honey, you think that's a good idea since – ”
“Sounds perfect.” Hadley shot Rebecca a look of pure death sprinkled with a sugary sweet smi
le.
Maybe I was wrong, but it felt like the two of them were competing with each other. Fighting over me. As weird as it was though, I wasn't complaining. I high-fived Grayson and said, “Great. See you in a bit, champ.”
***
“Is there something I should know?” Rebecca asked.
She leaned against the kitchen counter, hands crossed in front of her chest.
“About?” I asked.
Checking my phone, I saw that Hadley had just messaged me that she was outside. I put my phone back into my pocket and moved toward the door.
“About your godson's mother and you?” she sneered.
“Uhh, not really,” I said.
Rebecca followed me outside.
“Not really?” she pressed. “So you two weren't totally ogling each other earlier?”
“Rebecca, it's really none of your business,” I said. Hadley and Grayson were already out of the car and walking toward us, so there was no time to finish the conversation. Hadley's hair was pulled back in a low ponytail, though her hair was barely long enough to be pulled back at all. Loose tendrils framed her face, somehow softening it ever more. She wasn't wearing any makeup, and she looked more tired than usual, but she was still as breathtaking as ever.
Her dress was a loose-fitting, a soft pink and white maxi dress, but it left her arms bare, and gave a nice view of her cleavage. Her ample cleavage, I might have added, and yes, I glanced as she walked toward us. Rebecca smacked my arm, clearly noticing where my gaze had fallen. Hadley had too, but she just smiled and winked at me.
“It looks nice from the outside,” Hadley said, taking in the house. “Bigger than I expected.”
“Yeah, well, I had big plans,” I said as I stuck my hands into my pockets and motioned for her to follow me inside. “The staging company just dropped by, so there's some furniture all over the place. They're on their way back to pick up more stuff, but they shouldn't get in the way of a tour.”
Rebecca pursed her lips and remained moodily silent. She had been difficult the entire time the stagers were there. Laura, the designer, didn't see eye-to-eye with Rebecca on a few things, but we were paying Laura. Rebecca, on the other hand, had ulterior motives and couldn't be trusted to make decisions. Not that she really had any say one way or the other. I let Laura have free rein with things and that had obviously pissed Rebecca off.
