“Well, you certainly have a gift for it,” Mitch conceded. “Thank you for the care you’ve taken to make us all feel welcomed.”
“Aw, now, hush up befo’ I start t’ well up.”
Antonio’s heart filled with warmth for the love and gratitude he felt for his family. Mitch was moved by the emotion Antonio was fighting to keep in. He kissed him on the lips to suppress the tears from surfacing. “Come, we should all get to bed,” he said, as he lead his crew up the stairs.
*****
A few hours before they were due to leave, Mitch was gently shaking his pint-sized partner who was moaning and tossing in his sleep. “Danny, wake up.”
“NO!” Danny cried, “Leave me alone!”
“Wake up, baby,” Mitch persisted as he grabbed Danny more firmly around his upper arms. “You’re having a bad dream.”
Unable to pull himself from sleep, Danny began to whimper and twist under the restraint of large hands.
“Daniel!”
At the loud sound of Mitch’s strident voice, Danny shot up to a seated position. He turned to Antonio.
“That’s my good boy.”
Danny’s eyes flickered for a moment before recognizing the concerned face of his lover. He fell back into the bed. “Why’d you guys wake me?”
“We have to hurry up and get you bathed and ready to go.”
“But, I don’t need a bath,” he whined to Antonio. “I had a shower last night.”
“Don’t get upset, babe, but you were having a night terror. Your body is drenched in sweat.”
Danny’s heart sank at those words. He felt the blood rush to his face. He was mortified. How could he have let it happen again? The last time had been during a flashback almost a month ago. He had been in such a daze afterwards that he only could recall faint details. There was a hazy realization that the dream came with an acute physical reaction. His skin shivered in repulsion at the memory of Stan’s oppressive weight pressed against his body and his acid breath pouring over his face. A visceral reaction of hot anger scorched up through his nerve endings initiating his flight or fight instinct. What came next was the ripple effect it created in his physical world. The broken bones that were now healed pulsed in an achy reminder of the aftermath he was still dealing with. Everything happened so fast. His fingers were set, his wrist was braced, the headboard replaced, the reassuring words about it being nothing to worry about were put to rest.
It was rarely mentioned since to spare his feelings. He almost allowed himself to forget it even happened.
A cold chill went through Danny as Mitch lifted the sheets soaked with perspiration. He trembled in shame, acutely aware at how the damp sheets clutching to his skin were now bunching between his crotch.
“Come, let’s get you washed.” Mitch picked Danny up under his arms breaking him from his trance.
Danny groaned at being carried like a toddler to the bathroom.
TJ came out of the bedroom across the hall. “What’s going on?” he asked, rubbing his eyes.
“Nothing to be concerned about.”
TJ cleared his head of sleep and took a closer look. “I thought I heard the baby cry out.”
Danny cringed and buried his face into the nape of his Daddy’s neck. “Sorry,” he moaned.
“There’s nothing for you to be sorry about. These things happen,” Mitch said with a matter-of-fact ease.
Yeah, Danny thought miserably, These things happen to me. I don’t see the other men waking up screaming. Why me?
TJ followed Mitch into the bathroom. “Did Danny have another flashback?”
“It’s hard to tell. He was dreaming and can’t remember it. Could you get some clean towels while I draw him a bath?”
Danny would have resented being spoken about as if he wasn’t there, except he was wishing he wasn’t, and not having to speak was a relief. Antonio stripped him of his wet clothes and began to wipe away the sweat with a hand towel while they waited for the bath to fill. Standing there, allowing his older partners to take over, Danny began to shiver. His body was responding with shock to the emotional turmoil of the dream he was fighting to forget.
Mitch wrapped a towel over his boy’s shaking shoulders and briskly rubbed him down with another. “Hold on, we’ll get you in a nice warm bath in a minute.”
Danny nodded his head, as he felt fat hot tears leak down his face.
TJ pulled him up against his chest and ran his hand against the back of his head. “Please don’t cry, Danny. It’s going to be okay,” he promised.
Danny sank into his arms unable to move until Mitch pried him away to assist him into the tub. The warm water helped to ease his tension. Leaning his head against the tile, he allowed Mitch to gently clean him with a warm soapy washcloth.
“Where’s Antonio?”
“He went out to get a few things for our trip to Florida.”
“Oh.”
“He’ll be back soon.”
“Can you tell us about your dream?” TJ asked.
Danny shook his head no, unable to speak of the ominous presence intruding his thoughts. How could he explain the cruel and insistent hands he felt penetrating his body like a haunting from the past, or the residual fears lurking forever in the back of his mind?
Having given up on Danny being willing to share what he remembered of the dream, TJ sat at the edge of the bathtub to distract him with chatter about the game from last night.
Finally relaxed enough to begin to respond with a few guarded words, Mitch lifted Danny out of the tub and began to dry him off. He swaddled him in several towels and walked him back to sit on the bed. Danny sat numbly and watched with curiosity as Antonio came into the room carrying a plastic bag from a nearby pharmacy.
He continued to eye it with suspicion when Antonio sat down beside him. “Now, I don’t want you to get worked up, but there is something we need to talk to you about.”
“What?” Danny questioned defensively.
Antonio pulled out a package of Boost and a small bottle of pills. “I spoke to Terry…”
Danny’s eyes went wide in horror as his mind registered what his eyes were seeing. “NO FUCKIN WAY!” He bolted from the bed, and made a beeline for the exit. In his panic, he ran straight into Ricky knocking him to the ground.
“What’s going on?” Ricky asked in bewilderment. TJ offered a hand to help him up and then got out of the way to give Mitch room to capture Danny before he got too far. Mitch caught Danny around the waist and hoisted him over his shoulder.
“Where do you think you’re going dressed in towels?” Mitch chastised in amusement at his boy’s lack of foresight.
Shit! Danny hadn’t thought of that.
In his haste to escape he had forgotten he wasn’t dressed.
After tolerating only so much of Danny’s attempt to kick and pound his way down, Mitch spanked him several times to get his attention. He dropped Danny to the bed on his bottom and held him in place with a firm grasp on his biceps.
“I need you to listen to me, young man, and no interrupting,” Mitch began in a stern, but calm manner. “Antonio and I have agreed that for the duration of this trip it might be in your best interest to have a little aide.”
“No,” Danny pleaded softly while slowly shaking his head. “Those are crazy pills. I’m not taking crazy pills!”
“Listen, honey,” Antonio tried to sooth, “no one will even know.”
“I’ll know!”
“A lot more people will know you aren’t taking anything if you have a meltdown at the airport,” Mitch reasoned. “Or if you wake up screaming, disturbing everyone in the hotel.”
Danny went flush. He turned back to Antonio. “I won’t, I promise.”
“Sorry, babe, but your flashbacks and nightmares have gotten worse since we’ve decided to go on this trip. This is the third one you’ve had.”
“Second,” Danny corrected with a pout.
“No, baby, it’s your third. There was a small incident the
other night. You never fully woke. We didn’t tell you because we didn’t want to upset you. But, now we have no choice as it seems to be getting worse.”
Danny began trembling. Angry sweat seeped from his pores. “There is no fucking way I’m swallowing one of those things. And, I’m not drinking anymore of that fucking Boost either!”
Antonio sat down next to him. “It’s just temporary–to help take the edge off. Although vacations are fun, they can also be stressful. Your therapist explained that nightmares and flashbacks are natural reactions to unnatural circumstances, and they increase when you’re anxious.”
“It’s not a crazy pill,” Mitch reiterated. “It’s medication to ease your symptoms of distress.”
“Same fucking difference,” Danny muttered.
“Just give it a try, no one has to know but us,” TJ cajoled. “You might like it. I bet it will mellow you out. I might even want to try one myself.”
“That’s not an option,” Mitch gruffed. “This is a prescribed drug intended for only the person whose name is on the prescription.”
“I was just kidding.”
“Fuck you! It’s not funny!”
“Calm down,” Antonio warned getting between Danny and TJ. “We understand this is hard for you, but we won’t tolerate anymore outbursts like that.”
Stuttering, “N-n-no,” Danny shook his head adamantly. There was no way in hell they could convince him to take a drug for insane people.
“We won’t force you to take it,” Mitch said calmly. “But I am warning you, if you act up, I may have to take matters in hand in ways you’ll like even less.”
“I don’t care,” Danny answered with his arms crossed.
With that said, the men hurried to get to the airport. They hugged and kissed Mama Cecelia goodbye, thanking her again for her hospitality. She stopped them at the door. “Ya maw-maw wanted me t’ give ya’ll dis befo’ ya left.”
Antonio took the gift from his mother. “Why didn’t she give it to me when we were visiting?”
“She was ‘fraid ya turn it down due t’ da expense. But she’d be mighty pleased if ya kept it.”
Antonio unwrapped the present. “This is unbelievable.”
“Do ya like it?”
“It’s amazing.”
“It’s a hi-tech digital camera. Comes wid different lenses.”
“It’s too much.”
“Aw, hush, now. I he’ped her t’ pick it out n’ pay fo’ it. It’s what she wanted. Don’t go disappointing her by refusing it.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
“Say thank ya, and pay her back by sending us pictures of ya’ll.”
“Will do, mama.”
“Ya’ll betta get goin’ fo’ ya late,” Mama Cecelia said, choking up. She gave one last cuddle to Nicky. “The pup will be fully grown da next time I’m likely t’ see him.”
“Aww, mama, don’t look so sad. I promise we’ll visit again soon.”
“Aw, now, don’t ya worry ‘bout me. I’m fixin t’ come by ya’ll, maybe fo’ ya birthday.”
“Dat’d be real nice, mama.”
“F’sho.” Mama Cecelia blew kisses from her doorstep as her beloved boys drove off.
*****
Danny remained in a post flashback fog at the airport. The only thing he was acutely aware of was his need to be at Antonio’s side through the long line at security. Commuters and airline staff were irritable and pushy. In the rush to get passengers boarded on schedule, Antonio was ushered over to another location.
Danny scuttled to gather his things unaware that when he bent over to pick up his luggage the baggy waist of his khaki cargo shorts were being pulled down by change left in the pocket. With his carryon strapped over his shoulder and tucking up his shirt from behind, the band of the sexy pink briefs TJ bought him were exposed.
TJ smirked and nudged Ricky at what he thought was an adorable sight. Ricky nudged him back in a scolding manner. “Let me help you with something,” he said, rushing over to Danny.
“I got it.”
“At least let me get the dog carrier from your hurt hand.”
“My hand’s not hurt any more.”
“Still, you’re carrying too much.”
“I’m not a helpless child. I’m fine!”
Mitch shook his head. “Serves him right,” he chuckled, “for wearing his pants so baggy.” He took the dog carrier from Danny and placed it on the counter to be ex-rayed. Nicky yapped as Mitch opened his crate and took out the dog’s papers and his collar off from around his neck. Danny dropped his carry-on luggage to the counter, picked up his puppy, and held him securely in his arms. The puppy wiggled and squirmed causing Danny’s shirt to ride up again.
“Oh, how adorable!”
“What’s your puppy’s name?”
Two young college women came over enamored with the cute teen and puppy in front of them in line.
“Nicky,” Danny answered, as the pretty blond reached over to pet him.
“Hey, that’s my name too, and what’s your name?”
“Um, D-Dan.” Danny didn’t know if she was flirting or treating him like a little kid. He turned his back to hide the blush he felt coloring his face.
Mitch put his arm around Danny and escorted him up to close the gap in the security line. “Hurry up, Danny you’re next,” he said. “And, stop showing off your bellybutton to the young ladies.” Mitch tugged down his shirt, deepening his embarrassment to a bright red.
Danny stopped anxiously in front of the metal detector. Hugging his puppy tighter, he walked cautiously through. He gave a shaky smile when he spotted Antonio waiting for him at the other side.
The metal detector sounded before he could reach him.
Danny froze.
A gruff security guard was obstructing his exit. “Come back through and step aside,” he said, with the contempt of man who was not living the life he felt he was meant for.
The annoyance in the man’s voice at the extra hold up was scratching at Danny’s ear. He reluctantly followed him back for a further inspection.
“Are you wearing a belt?”
“No.”
“Maybe there is metal on your dog’s collar.”
“No,” said Danny, “he doesn’t have one on.”
“Recheck your pockets.”
A security guard tried to take Danny’s dog so he would be free to search his pockets. Picking up on his owner’s nervousness, Nicky barked at the man in uniform to back off. The man snarled back at the dog, and waved over a colleague with his hand held scanner. Danny’s eyes began to dilate as the two security guards blocked him in.
He concentrated on his breathing while his vision started to narrow in and the voices began to muffle. Mitch could see that his boy hadn’t made it through the metal detector, and stepped out of line to come over to him.
A security guard put his hand out to stop Mitch from coming closer as he ran the scanner over Danny’s body. With the other man invasively rummaging through his pockets, Danny was trapped as he began to fall into a flashback.
Unaware of Danny’s level of distress, and aggravated at the inconvenience, the guard impatiently lifted Danny’s shirt. Standing rigid, the waistline of Danny’s pants slid down his slender waist, exposing the top of his briefs. Mitch caught the sadistic smiles exchanged between the guards and was burning with anger. He took a long calming breath, pulled back his shoulders, and walked over to the men. Standing at full height he was an intimidating sight.
“Get your Goddamn hands off him,” Mitch hissed through a clenched jaw.
The guard with the scanner dropped his probing hand that was patting Danny down, and stared with his mouth ajar. The other man gloated unaware, as he pulled out a few coins left in the bottom pocket of Danny’s cargo pants.
Mortification set in as Danny felt a numbness paralyze his feet. He let out a pitiful whimper reaching his arms out to Mitch who quickly grabbed ahold of him.
“Shhh,” he said, d
rawing him into his arms. “I got you.”
What happened next was a muddled confusion. Mitch somehow managed to sweep Danny into a restroom while Antonio, fast-talking, smoothed things over with the airport staff. Throwing himself into a stall, Danny quickly locked himself in. He pressed his forehead against the cold door, fighting to catch his breath.
After five minutes, Mitch rapped his knuckles against the metal frame. “You doing all right in there?”
A shaky “yeah” came out through the door.
“Take your time. If we need another flight, so be it.”
Danny bit the skin around his thumb until it drew blood. He sucked around it tasting the tingling metallic flavor. “No, I’ll be out in a minute.” Danny pinched his thumb to focus on the surface pain then he smeared the blood between his fingers, hoping to erase it. “Mitch?”
“Yeah, babe?”
“Is anybody else in here?”
“No, baby, we’re alone.”
Danny opened the door a crack and peeked out.
Mitch stood guard, waiting patiently. “Ready?”
Danny nodded and stepped out. Mitch put a protective hand to his back and led him over to the sink. “Let’s wash our hands.” While his hands were rinsing under the water, Mitch damped a paper towel, and ran it over Danny’s face. “How does that feel?”
“It’s fine, thanks.”
“What I mean is, focus on your senses. Tell me what you’re noticing.”
“Oh, um, it’s wet.”
“Okay, good. What do you hear?”
“The water running.”
Flight 505 to Florida is now boarding rows 5 through 15.
“That’s us,” Danny said.
“Not until you’re ready.”
“I’m ready.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m sure.”
Mitch held out his hand. “Let’s go.”
*****
When he got home, the place was cleaned, the stove was on, and a formidable silence was permeating the atmosphere. Damon put the groceries on the table and called out for Brendan. There was no answer. The smell of stew brewing on the stovetop brought him over. He opened the lid and breathed in the savory aroma of garlic and spices. He smiled at the thoughtfulness and dipped in a spoon for a taste.
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