by Rosa, C.
Ethan laughed. “Well, that doesn’t surprise me.” His eyes flickered to mine. “We haven’t really seen much of each other since she moved back. I’ve been a bit busy.”
“Oh?” Mom said. “Doing what?”
“Mom-”
“No, it’s okay,” Ethan chuckled. “I’m in law school.”
And there was the clincher. My mother’s eyes looked liked a slot machine…jackpot.
“Really?” she said, her voice raising a few octaves. In the kitchen, the teapot whistled. “Would you like a cup of tea?”
“Sure!” Ethan replied. Mom hooked her arm around his, and led him down the hall. I stayed behind, perplexed by what just happened. My mom stole my date.
* * *
After about an hour of sucking down disgusting herbal lemon tea and hearing my mom go on about her juicer to Ethan, I had about enough. I tried to discreetly make faces at my mom to get her to shut up, but she completely ignored me, too engrossed in listening to Ethan talk about his wealthy father in Texas and lush of a mother here. Mom listened intently, inserting all the necessary emotional quips when appropriate. Every once in a while, Ethan would look at me with a smug look on his face, knowing he had my mother eating out of the palm of his hand.
It was around seven thirty when Mia called. I excused myself, and ran out on the porch to take the call, leaving the lovebirds to carry on their conversation without me…like it mattered.
“Lex? I need a huge favor!” She sounded out of breath, and by the background noise I could tell she was at the bar.
“What is it? Is everything okay?”
“Joe QUIT!”
“What?” I yelled. “When?”
She yelled something away from the phone before continuing. “Just now. He just walked out! He and Ricky got into some huge fight, and Joe threw off his apron and walked out the door. I’m freaking out here!”
“Okay,” I said. “What can I do to help?”
“Can you work the kitchen tonight?
“WHAT?”
“I wouldn’t even of asked if I wasn’t so desperate,” she said. “Mike’s not picking up his phone, and Cesar is in the back running around like a mad man.”
“I don’t think-”
“Please! Please! I’ll do-”
“Fine!” I said, cutting her off. I took a deep breath. “But for just this one night.”
“Thank you!” she shouted. “You are the most awesome person I know!”
I smiled, feeling my heartbeat quicken with each second. “Yeah...you’re right.”
She laughed, and I could hear another voice talking behind her.
“Do you need a ride?” she said.
“No. Tell your brother I’m fine. See you in fifteen minutes.” I hung up the phone and walked inside, ready to face the thing I was avoiding for six months. I was going back in the kitchen.
Chapter 18
Fear Not
ETHAN RELUCTANTLY AGREED to drive me to the Mug. I ran upstairs and rummaged through my closet. Hidden in the back under the sheath of dry cleaning plastic wrap was the last respectable work uniform I owned: my crisp, white, chef jacket. I peeled off the plastic, hearing the paper of the wire hanger crinkle as I pulled it away.
I held it out in front of me for a few seconds before slipping it on. I managed to find a pair of chef pants, my favorite ones with black and white checks with cargo pockets on each side. Looking at myself in the mirror, I felt like I did my first day in culinary school. It had been too long since my reflection looked like this. I had to admit…I looked good.
I pulled my hair back as I hopped down the stairs.
“Ready?” I asked Ethan, a hair tie in my mouth.
“Sure,” he muttered. He was less than enthusiastic about driving me there. “I’ll wait for you in the car.” He gave my mom a polite hug goodbye, thanked her, and stalked off through the front door.
“Honey, is it really necessary for you to dress so manly?”
“This is how I dress in the kitchen. It doesn’t matter if I dress like a man. It matters that I can cook.”
She pushed back the loose hair around my face. “Be nice to that Ethan. He’s one you should bring around more often.”
“Yes, mother.”
I didn’t bother explaining to her that Ethan should have been more concerned about our date and less concerned about showing off. She wouldn’t get it anyway.
The car ride to the Mug wasn’t any less awkward than the last couple of hours. I almost wished I invited mom along to keep up the conversation.
“So…you’re really going to fill in for the cook tonight? Flipping burgers?”
I shrugged. “Mia asked for a favor.”
“It’s pretty fucked up,” Ethan laughed.
“What is?”
“That he gets some girl knocked up and then has the balls to ask you for a favor.”
I shook my head. News around here traveled just as fast as it did in high school.
“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said.
“I doubt that.” He pulled into the bar, my hand on the car door handle before he barely parked.
“Thanks,” I said, not looking at him.
Ethan got out of the car.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m hungry,” he shrugged.
I clenched my eyes tight, hoping that he was kidding. When I opened them, he was already at the door, pulling it open. “Are you coming or what?” he asked.
My anxiety kicked into overdrive. I followed him in, not sure what I was more nervous about; cooking in a restaurant again or Ricky’s reaction.
I came to my senses when I realized I didn’t owe Ricky anything. In fact, after tonight, he was going to owe me.
The bar was packed, every table full of hungry, collegiate drunks.
“Looks like you have your work cut out for you,” Ethan said.
I wanted to tell him that I’d been in a kitchen that handled three times this many people and three quarters of the menu wasn’t deep-fried.
Casey came jogging over, pulling me towards the kitchen. I scanned the room for Ricky but couldn’t spot him among the crowd. Mia frantically waved from behind the bar, relieved to see me.
“Thank God you’re here!” Casey said. “Cesar is flipping the fuck out…She’s here!” she announced once we made it through the double doors.
Cesar looked up from behind the line. Jesus cheered “preciosa!” from the dishwasher. Heidi rolled her eyes and stalked out.
“Casey! Get your ass back out there!”
I turned at the sound of his voice. Ricky stood, propping the door open. He looked surprised to see me.
“Such a grump,” Casey muttered. She disappeared back into the crowd.
Ricky stared at me while I grabbed an apron out of the pile. My heart raced so fast it felt like a lead hammer in my chest. The kitchen was hot, but it was a heat I was used to. The sweat pouring from my skin was all the nervous energy emptying out of me.
Cesar dodged around the kitchen in a rush, throwing fries into the fryer, flipping burgers on the grill, and plating food that was ready to go. I approached the line slowly, putting one foot in front of the other. I could feel Ricky’s eyes on me, but I didn’t look back. I needed to focus. I needed to get my shit together. I needed to show myself that I was ready to do what I loved best. Ricky was right…it wasn’t waitressing.
Ricky finally edged his way into the kitchen. “Lexy…thank you so much for doing this. It really-”
“Ricky, I need to concentrate. Please, can we do this later?” I looked through the warming shelves where he stood on the other side. I needed to start cooking before I talked myself out of it. Once I started, I knew it would be harder for me to walk away.
He nodded his head and walked out.
“What ya’ got here Cesar?” I wrapped the apron around my waist, washed my hands at the sink, and scoped out the open tickets.
“You know how to cook?” he asked,
surprised.
“A little,” I smiled.
Cheeseburger medium with fries, crab cake sandwich no tomato, and an order of onion rings. I moved the ticket over to my side of the line and got to work. I had seen the food often enough to know what the customers expected. It took a few minutes to learn where everything was located. Once that happened everything went like clockwork. I cooked circles around Cesar. By the end of the first hour I had double the number of orders impaled on the check holder than he did.
I worked through the pounding heartbeat and the sweat. I ignored it when my brain told me that I should run away as fast as I could. I was tired of letting something that happened to me six months ago determine how I lived my life today.
By the second hour, my heartbeat leveled out, and my brain shut the hell up. The food wasn’t what I was used to cooking, but it didn’t matter. It felt great and somewhere in between plating a pickle and putting cheese on a burger, I felt freer than I had in months.
Ricky steered clear of the kitchen as promised, even though I caught him sneaking looks in the door window every once in a while. By the end of the third hour, the crowd had died down, and Cesar and I barely had anything to do. I helped him clean the grill and prep for the next day. We joked and laughed, just like I used to do working in Danny’s kitchen.
“Thanks mamita,” he said, taking his apron off. “You saved my ass today.”
I smiled. “No problem. I actually had a good time.”
Cesar left for the night, while I waited for Mia to give me a ride back to the house. I unwrapped my apron and unbuttoned the top two buttons of my jacket, letting the skin on my chest breathe.
Jesus was mopping while Mia closed the register. As soon as she saw me she stopped what she was doing and leaped on top of me.
“Thank you SO much” she said, hugging me tight.
“You’re welcome.” I patted her back. “How about a ride home?”
“You got it!” she said. “Let me close this stupid thing, and then we’re off.”
I sat at the bar and grabbed a napkin to fiddle with, my empty stomach growling. I had been so preoccupied all night that I had forgotten to eat.
“So how have things been around here, anyway?” I asked.
“They were fine up until tonight. I don’t know what we’re going to do now.” She looked up at me with worried eyes. “I guess we’ll have to hire a new cook.”
I looked down at my napkin, but I could feel her eyes on me. “Hmm,” I said. “That’s interesting.”
A long pause settled between us, Mia waiting for me to say something.
“Fine!” I said, reading her mind. “But only until you find somebody else.”
“Yay!” she said, bouncing up and down. “I love you!” She ran around the bar, and gave me another hug.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” I teased.
I looked around the empty bar.
“Where’s Ricky?”
“He left a while ago,” Mia said, closing the register with her hip.
“Really?” It never occurred to me that he wouldn’t still be here at the end of the night. His face was the first I expected to see the minute I stepped out of the kitchen. “So much for a thank you.”
“Yeah, he seemed off tonight. After the week he had, I don’t blame him.”
“What do you mean?” I asked. “What happened?”
Mia wiped down the last of the glasses and set everything in place. “I’m not supposed to say anything,” she said, half smiling.
“Uh huh,” I said. “Which means you’re going to tell me anyway…”
Mia leaned towards me, her body pressed against the bar. “Toni was never pregnant.” She whispered it to me as if her brother would know she spilled the secret.
“What?” I asked.
Mia nodded her head. “Ricky went to the doctor with her a few days ago and turns out that she really wasn’t pregnant.”
“Seriously?”
“Ricky got her to admit it was a complete lie. She thought it would get them back together…not that they were ever a couple.”
I was speechless for a few minutes, letting the news sink in. Mia grabbed her purse out of Ricky’s office, and we headed to the car. Halfway to my house, I was finally able to verbalize what I had been thinking.
“Why weren’t you supposed to tell me that?” I asked.
“I don’t know,” Mia said. “I thought you’d be the first person he would tell, but after it happened he kind of just…let it go.”
I leaned back in my chair unsure what could be going through Ricky’s head. I couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed that he had given up so easily.
In the car Mia cracked her window open. “What was Ethan doing there by the way?”
“He gave me a ride. He was at my house when you called. We were supposed to get something to eat.”
“He went over to Ricky and said some stuff to him.” She pulled the stray hair away from her face. “I tried to listen, but it was too loud.”
“What did Ricky do?” I asked.
“Nothing. I was shocked. Ethan just stomped off and that was it,” she said.
I checked my phone and saw one text message from Ethan. He asked how my night went and then told me to call him tomorrow. I was half tempted to call him now just to see what it was he told Ricky.
“Can you do me a favor?” I asked Mia.
“Sure!”
“Take me to your brother’s house.”
Chapter 19
Picking Up
RICKY’S HOUSE WAS pitch dark.
“Do you think he’s home?” I asked Mia.
“He should be. Do you want me to go in with you?”
“It’s okay,” I said, unclicking my seatbelt. “Just wait a few minutes just to be sure.”
I walked up the porch steps and rang the doorbell. For a few seconds I considered running back to the car, but I forced myself to stay put. I wasn’t even sure what I was doing there or what I was going to say.
The porch light switched on, and I waved at Mia as she drove off.
“Lexy?”
Ricky stood beside the opened front door as I squinted in the bright light. Once my eyes adjusted, I was able to see his face as well as his bare chest and boxer briefs.
“Do you always answer the door like that?” I asked.
He rubbed his eyes. “I was asleep. Is everything okay? Come in.”
Ricky stepped aside as I shuffled past him. I followed him to the living room.
“I hope I’m not interrupting anything,” I said, looking behind me. I half expected to see someone else coming down the steps, looking for him.
“No, I’m alone. If that’s what you mean,” he smirked.
He sat just a few inches away from me.
I opened my mouth to speak, but Ricky beat me to it.
“I don’t know how to thank you for tonight. I know that must have been really hard for you. You could have said no, and I wouldn’t have blamed you one bit.”
“It was okay,” I said. “Better than I thought. I’m actually starting to feel like myself again.”
Ricky smiled. “That’s good. That’s really good. I’m glad to hear that.”
The television hummed in the background.
“Ricky…Mia told me what happened with Toni.”
His eyes drooped down, and he got up from the couch. “I told her not to say anything!”
“Why?” I asked, getting up as well. “Why would you keep that a secret from me?”
“Because.”
“Because? Because is not a reason.”
He turned to face me, his gray eyes darkening more with each second that passed.
“Because I thought…I thought you would be better off without me.”
My eyes flickered side to side. “Why would you think that?”
“Because it’s the truth. Getting myself involved with someone like Toni just proves it.”
“But she’s the one that lied, not you.”
He didn’t respond.
“So that’s it?” I asked. “You’re just going to give up without a fight? Damn, I thought when I showed up with Ethan tonight I’d at least get some kind of rise out of you.”
Ricky raised his eyebrows. “Trust me…it took all I had not to give that guy a black eye.”
“The why didn’t you?” I joked.
“I want you to be happy. After everything you’ve been through with your dad and that asshole in California. You mean too much to me.”
“What did he say to you at the bar?”
“It’s not important.”
“I want to know.”
“He said…he said it’s too bad I screwed up and got the wrong girl pregnant.”
“Wow,” I scoffed. “You were right…what a douche bag.”
“It doesn’t matter,” Ricky said. “I’m just glad you’re able to do what you love again.”
We sat and looked at each other for a few seconds, the verve between us pulsing. I missed him, and I was tired of trying to convince myself otherwise. I fed off Ricky’s energy that was so easily reflected in his eyes; his anger, his frustration, his jealousy.
“So what now?” I asked.
“I don’t know. I’m going to have to find someone to replace Joe.”
“That’s not what I’m talking about.” I walked closer to him until our faces were only inches apart. I smelled like the kitchen of the bar, but I didn’t care, and I knew he didn’t either. “So what now?” I murmured.
Ricky looked at me from under his eyes. I closed mine, hoping that he would make the next move. A split second later, I felt his lips on mine. Soft and sweet, barely any pressure at all. He pulled away too quickly.
“Alexa…I can’t.”
“Why? You know what you’re saying is bullshit. People make mistakes. You said so yourself.”
“I’m no good for you.”
I hooked my arms around his neck. “I know,” I teased. “But I’m good for you.”
He smiled and kissed me again, this time like he meant it. He scooped me up in his arms and carried me upstairs.
“You need a shower,” he cried, plopping me in the bathroom. “Did I mention how sexy you look in these clothes?” He ran his fingers down my jacket, unbuttoning with skilled speed.
