by Rosa, C.
“So what do you think?” he asked. “You don’t seem too happy about the idea.”
“No, it’s not that at all,” I replied.
“Then what’s wrong?”
“I just…I’m not sure I would want you to go through all that just for me.”
“I see,” he said, getting out of bed. “So…you don’t think it’s a good idea.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“Then what are you saying?” he said after putting on a shirt.
“It’s just a big step, you moving out here.”
“Look, forget I even said anything.” He started towards the door.
“Where are you going?” I called out to him.
“To smoke a cigarette,” he muttered.
I heard the door close, and hobbled to the bedroom window, just in time to see him drive away.
Chapter 34
Birthday
MIA AND I stayed behind while Ricky and Nick ran out to do some last minute birthday surprise errands. Ricky had something planned that everyone knew about except me.
“Okay,” I said. “They’re gone. Start talking.”
Mia shook her head and smiled. “I don’t know anything!”
“You’re a liar!” I cried.
“No, I’m not!” she insisted. “It’s only one more day, and then you’ll find out!”
I rolled my eyes as she rummaged through the fridge for something to eat. I hobbled over to the kitchen table, and leaned my crutches against the wall.
“So how’s everything going?” she asked. She and Nick arrived yesterday, and were staying the next couple days before leaving to explore the west coast a bit. I tried to convince Ricky to go with them so that he could take a little break himself, but he refused.
“I don’t know,” I shrugged. “Fine, I guess. Your brother’s been mad at me.”
Mia sat down at the table. “What about this time?”
I fiddled with my hair. “He wants to move here.”
She looked confused. “And that’s bad?”
“No,” I said. “But you know your brother…He comes here, decides he’s tired of me, and then what?”
“It’s not like that,” she said. “When Nick told him you were in an accident he freaked out. Took the first flight out here with your mom.”
“Then why did he let me leave in the first place? I thought that he would have begged me to stay, but it was just the opposite.”
“I don’t know,” she said. “But maybe you should ask him that.”
* * *
The morning of my birthday I woke up to the smell of bacon. Making my way into the kitchen, Ricky and Nick were cooking up a storm.
“Happy birthday!” they both shouted at once.
I smiled, and did a good stretch. “Where’s Mimi?”
“She just left for a morning run,” Ricky said, putting a plate of food in front of me. He planted a kiss on my lips and smiled. I was hopeful that his bad mood was ending.
“Mmm, thanks. Smells yummy.”
“So,” Nick said, sitting down next to me. “How’s it feel to be a whole year older?”
“Good,” I said. “Not much different than my last birthday.”
“Twenty-four,” Nick continued. “Time to get serious about life…settle down, think about starting a family.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” I asked him.
“Nothing,” he said, glancing over at Ricky who was trying to stifle a grin.
I rolled my eyes, and continued to enjoy my breakfast. “So, what are the plans for today?” I asked, anxious to find out what it was they were planning the last couple of days.
Ricky shrugged. “I don’t know. Nick…what are the plans for today?”
My eyes flickered between Nick and Ricky, knowing they planned on torturing me all day.
“Well…I need a haircut,” Nick said. “And I really should get some laundry done.”
“Whatever,” I said. “You two are impossible.”
After breakfast, Ricky disappeared into my room, carrying out a small duffel bag. He handed it to Nick, and they both headed for the door.
“Where are you two going” I asked. “You’re going to leave me alone on my birthday?”
“Don’t worry,” Ricky said. He planted a kiss on my forehead. “We’ll be back soon.”
“How soon?” I said, getting up off the couch.
“Very soon,” Ricky said. “Just relax. Mia will tell you what to do when she gets back.”
He closed the door behind him, and I flopped back down, not having a clue in the world what they were up to.
* * *
When the doorbell rang later that day, I opened the door to the last person I expected to see.
“Danny,” I said. “What the hell are you doing here?”
He was holding a bouquet of flowers, a faint red scar lined the top of his eyebrow. “Happy birthday,” he said, handing me the flowers. “I wanted to see how you were doing…Can I come in?”
I looked back to make sure Mia was still in the shower. “Fine,” I said. “But not for long. I have plans in a little bit.”
I laid the flowers on the kitchen counter as Danny followed behind me. I didn’t offer him anything to eat or drink, or even bothered to tell him to sit. I didn’t want him to get too comfortable.
“How’s your leg?” he said, nodding towards my cast.
“It’s fine,” I said. “Hopefully, the cast will come off in a few weeks.”
“That’s good,” he muttered.
“So what are you doing here?” I asked. I didn’t have time to beat around the bush.
“I know it may seem like I’m apologizing all the time but…I just wanted to say I’m sorry.”
“Sorry for what exactly? For lying to me or for crashing your car into a pole?”
He let out a deep breath, and brushed his hand against the top of his head. “Both,” he said. “For the whole night.”
“Well, it’s over now, and I just want to forget it ever happened.”
“I understand,” he replied.
The bathroom door swung open, and Mia came traipsing out, wrapped in a towel. She pretended not to be interested in the strange, yet attractive, man standing in my kitchen. She headed towards the bedroom, and closed the door without saying anything.
“I think you better go,” I said.
“Have plans for your birthday?”
“Something like that.”
I hobbled towards the door, hoping Danny was following behind me.
Once we got to the threshold, he paused, turning to face me. “I wish things worked out better between us,” he said. “I would have done a lot of things differently.”
“Well…it wasn’t all bad. But, I think that it’s better if we don’t see each other anymore.”
“Okay,” Danny said. I sensed he wanted to say something to convince me to change my mind. I braced myself for a rebuttal, but all I got was a request for a hug.
“Take care of yourself,” Danny said. He pressed his lips on mine. I stood there, too stunned to process what was happening. When I finally came back into focus, Ricky was in the hallway, his mouth gaping.
“Ricky!” I said.
He came charging towards Danny, his jaw clenched and his fists ready to unleash in a fury. An eerie quiet settled over him as he slammed Danny against the wall of the hallway.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” he said in Danny’s face.
Before I could react, Ricky’s fist was pounding Danny’s face, over and over.
“Ricky! Stop!” I shouted.
People peeked through cracked doors, trying to get a glimpse of the scene unfolding.
Mia ran to the door, her hair still dripping wet. “Ricky! Stop!” she pleaded, but he ignored her.
Ricky’s eyes glazed over. With one hand, he gripped the collar of Danny’s shirt, pummeling him with the other. Danny wriggled on the floor as he tried to block each blow with his arm.
Mia and I watched, horrified, as Ricky disregarded our persistent pleas. Every punch he dealt seemed to move in slow motion. Danny recoiled back, trying to release himself from Ricky’s grip.
Nick appeared around the hallway, pausing for a brief moment to witness what was happening, before springing into action. He grabbed both of Ricky’s arms, and it took all his effort to pry him away.
Ricky finally relented, his chest heaving up and down, his fists stained with Danny’s blood. Danny struggled to get up, and I hobbled over, offering my hand to help him.
Danny’s nose looked broken, and Mia grabbed a dish towel to catch the blood pouring from his nostrils.
“I think you should go to the hospital,” I said. “Mia…can you drive us?”
She nodded, and Danny fished out his keys from his pocket.
Nick pushed Ricky away, guiding him back into the apartment.
* * *
Mia and I waited as Danny got patched up by the doctors. We sat in the waiting room, exchanging looks every once in a while, but not uttering a word. I watched as doctors and nurses walked by, some pushing patients in wheelchairs and hospital beds.
“I hate hospitals,” Mia muttered. We both watched as an older man, skinny and hooked to an IV, scuttled past us. He glanced over our way, an oxygen tube wrapped around his ears and under his nose. I smiled at him, but he just continued to stare and trudged along, using his IV pole for balance.
“Yeah,” I whispered. “Me too.”
“Brings back too many memories,” she continued.
I looked over to her. “I know what you mean.”
I’ll never forget that day. It was inscribed in my memory like the stitch of my name in my chef jacket. Mom called me, rushing me to come home from the restaurant. I figured it was about something Nick had gotten into at school. I rolled my eyes at her as she sat at the kitchen table, sulking.
When she looked up at me, she dabbed under her eyes with a tissue.
“Mom…What’s going on?” I asked her.
We rushed to the hospital, my whole world turned upside down in just a few seconds.
The doctors spoke with my mom in hushed reverence, explaining what had happened. I caught a few words here and there…car accident, head trauma…but I zoned out, my pounding heartbeat drowning out all the sounds in the room.
I leaned over my father’s bed, the tubes and gauze masking his face. I reached for his hand, and gave it a squeeze, but felt nothing in return. I didn’t need the doctors to tell me…I already knew. He would never wake up, and I had lost him forever.
* * *
Mia and I grabbed a cab and headed back home once we knew Danny was okay on his own.
“So much for a happy birthday,” I said.
“I can’t believe that just happened,” Mia said. “I haven’t seen Ricky that mad since…that night he got arrested. We’re lucky no one called the cops.”
The cab smelled musty, and I cracked open the window, needing to feel the cool air on my face.
When we got back, the apartment was dark, the only light in the room coming from the flickering television. Nick was sprawled on the air mattress, still awake.
I walked past him, and headed for the bathroom where I did my best to shower without getting my cast drenched. When I walked into the bedroom, I flicked on the light, only to see Ricky sitting straight up in bed, the skin inflamed on his swollen knuckles.
I struggled to keep my towel wrapped around my body while still holding onto my crutches. I rummaged through my dresser for something to wear when Ricky came around to try and help.
“I got it,” I said, hobbling away from him. I sat on the bed, and attempted to get dressed without having to loose my towel.
“Let me help you,” he said in a commanding voice.
“What were you thinking?” I yelled, throwing my towel at him. He caught it, and threw it on the floor as I slipped my tee shirt over my head. It almost fell to my knees, and when I looked down at it I realized it was Ricky’s.
“What was I thinking?” he asked. “Are you actually defending that asshole? Don’t think I can’t put two and two together! I knew all along who he was! He could have gotten you killed! Who the fuck does he think he is coming here?”
“The accident wasn’t just his fault. I shouldn’t have pushed him to drive! He’s done a lot to help me…I at least had to let him apologize!”
“Excuse me?” he asked. And I knew I had just stepped into something there was no backing out of.
“What do you mean he’s done a lot to help you?”
I looked away, tearing at the cuticles around my thumbs. “He came to see me…back home. He told me about the job offer,” I said fast and low. It was like ripping off a band aide: the faster you pulled, the lesser the pain.
“Did you…did you sleep with him?”
“No!” I yelled, offended.
Ricky started to pace back and forth. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me this before.”
“What difference does it make?”
“I don’t want him ever coming near you again!”
“Excuse me, but I make my own decisions. I decided not to see him again, and I can change my mind about that whenever I want. And by the way, you have NO room to talk. You don’t see me knocking out every woman you’ve brought home!”
He stood there, looking at me in stunned silence. It took him a few minutes to regain his composure. “What the hell are you talking about?”
I laid back down, the words reeling through my head so fast it was making me dizzy. “Don’t play stupid. You know exactly what I’m talking about.”
“No, I don’t!”
“Don’t tell me you’ve been sitting home alone! I called you, after not hearing from you in months, and got to talk to a real charmer on the phone. She hung up on me after giggling and telling me you were in the shower!”
“That…that was a friend,” he stuttered. “We were just hanging out. Besides, you’re the one that left. I didn’t think you cared what I did!”
“That’s such bullshit!” I laughed. “How could you say that? You told me to leave!”
“Because I didn’t want to hold you back! I didn’t want to make you stay, and then have you resent me for it later. You don’t think it killed me to see you go? Everything I did without you was to distract myself from thinking about you. I didn’t call because it was too painful to hear your voice! It wasn’t enough that I almost lost it when I found out what happened to you, but then to realize that you were with him when it happened. I can’t…I can’t stand to think of anyone ever touching you the way I want to. Just thinking about it drives me so insane that I’m ready to leave everything I know to come here, and be with you.”
He grabbed a pillow off the bed and stormed out of the room before I could utter another word.
Chapter 35
Empty House
MIA SNUCK INTO my room early in the morning to say goodbye. She and Nick were catching a flight to Vegas to finish out their spring break. I nodded, half asleep, and gave her a hug before throwing the covers over my head and returning to sleep. It felt better to keep my eyes closed since they were so swollen from crying.
Ricky hadn’t come to bed at all last night. It was nearly noon when I finally woke up. I stumbled out of bed, sensing an eerie quiet in the house. I walked into an empty living room, the air mattress deflated and stuffed back in the box. The blankets were neatly folded on top of the couch.
“Ricky?” I shouted, my heart pumping faster and faster. My stomach churned nervously, knowing something was off. I hobbled to the window near the kitchen table, dragging my leg instead of wasting time grabbing my crutches.
Ricky’s car was gone.
I made a frantic dash to my phone charging on the kitchen counter, and called Ricky right away. It rang and rang without an answer. I texted, WHERE R U? and sat down, waiting for a response. I smelled the coffee, still steaming hot, and thought for a second it was an encouraging s
ign that Ricky hadn’t left for good. I poured myself a cup and crawled back in bed, knowing that he would have gotten back to me by now.
Hours passed, and I didn’t move from my spot in the bed. I had nowhere to go, no one to see, and the thought was so depressing that it sucked all the energy out of me. I was alone, in an empty apartment, and I hated it.
Lauren called the next day, and I hung up the call with my mom to answer her on the other line.
“Want some company?” she asked.
“Would love some.”
A few minutes later she had let herself in with the spare key I had given her. She already knew about my birthday drama, first from the gossiping neighbors, and second from calling me later that night to check up on me. I didn’t know it at the time, but Ricky had arranged to have Lauren part of my birthday surprise, a surprise that I never discovered.
Lauren picked up the laundry basket full of dirty clothes, and I hobbled behind her as we made our way to the basement for a late night laundry run.
“I haven’t heard from him in two days,” I muttered. “I can’t believe he left without saying anything.”
I leaned my head against one of the running dryers, feeling the warmth on the back of my head, and smelling the scent of the dryer sheets.
“I don’t understand it either,” she said, folding a shirt and placing it back in the basket. “It doesn’t seem like something he would do…especially after…” She stopped short, and it caught my attention.
“Especially after what?” I asked.
Lauren shrugged her shoulders, continuing to fold the clothes without looking at me. “Well, I mean…I’ve only talked to him a handful of times, but I could tell.”
Ricky and Lauren had first met when she came to visit me in the hospital. They had gotten to know each a little the times Lauren had come to my apartment to help out.
“Could tell what, Laur?”
