by Eva Luxe
“Are you alright?” He’s searching my face; I’m assuming trying to get a read of my emotions. As I see the concern on his face, I realize my feelings for Clive are intensifying. Not just the sexual ones – they’ve always been pretty intense – but there are other emotions beginning to swirl in. Without a word, I drop my hands and let my bra fall into my lap. His eyes go down and I watch as he takes in my chest. His eyes come back to mine and his hand gently cradles my neck. He brings his face close and rest his forehead against mine. “I’ve been waiting for this…”
“For what?” I know what it is, but I want to hear him say it. But instead of saying anything, he kisses me. Another one of his soft ones. The kiss deepens and I moan into his mouth. His hand goes down my neck and onto my one of breasts. His thumb brushes over my nipple. His tongue swipes against my bottom lip and I grab onto his hair. He massages my hardened peak, making me fiercely crave more friction between us. When our mouths come a part, we’re both breathless. “I think you need to take off some of your clothes, as well.” He gives me a smirk and presents himself to me.
“Why don’t you help me with that.” He raises an eyebrow like it’s a challenge and my hands go up to remove his suit jacket. As I remove it, I run my hands down his arm and feels his hard muscles. I’m about to have sex with a very in shape man. Very fit.
“Very fit, indeed…”
“What was that?” Dammit! I keep saying things out loud without realizing it. And they’re always the most embarrassing things. I drop my hand from his arms and look down. I start stammering out an explanation and Clive starts to chuckle. And once again, his laughter makes me laugh. I love the way we sound together. “It’s fine. I know I’m very in shape,” he says this with a smile, well more of a smirk. “And I like how you say what you’re thinking when you’re off your guard.” I bite my lip in an attempt to conceal my own growing smile.
“Why don’t you show me how in shape you are?” Soon, he has his shirt unbuttoned and he’s standing before. He was not lying. “Wow.”
“Wow?”
“Wow.” That last one’s a whisper. I’m almost speechless. I stand up and run my hands down his stomach. My finger buzz as I touch his abs. I look into his eyes. “I’m about to have sex with you.” Clive runs a finger along my cheek.
“You’re about to have sex with me,” he repeats my words and they settle in.
“We’re about to have sex.” It’s all finally happening. And, at this point, it feels inevitable, like it was meant to happen. There are so many questions I want to ask. The main one being if tonight moves forward, is this where it ends? I don’t want it to end, but I’m also too scared to ask. What if I don’t like the answer.
Clive draws me towards him in a hug and our bare skin touches. I rest my head against his chest and he kisses the top of my head. We stand like that for a few seconds. It feels nice. These are the moments that I want to hold on to. The moments that have made me realize that I want to spend more and more time with him. I want to be with him. I bring my hands to the hem of his pants. We move a part a little, giving me better access, so I can unbutton his pants. He wordlessly watches my hands at work. Once he’s unbuttoned and unzipped, I slide my hand in and feel his penis. I grasp it lightly and I hear Clive inhale sharply. He’s a lot bigger than I expected.
“It’s bigger than I expected.” Clive’s places his hand on my shoulder to steady himself.
“Are you worried?” His voice his strained which might be due to the fact that I’ve started to stroke him. It felt like the right thing to do and I’m proud of the effect it’s having on him. His breathing has picked up and I love that I can do this to him. He said he wants to watch me come undone, but…
“I want to watch you come undone.” I start to stroke him more vigorously, but he grabs my hand and stops me.
“Not that I wouldn’t love that, but I have every intention of coming inside of you.” My skin flushes just thinking about it. I remove my hand from his pants. Not sure what to do, I grab my arm with my hand and stand awkwardly. Clive lifts my chin up with his finger. “Why don’t you jump up on my desk?” I nod and sit myself down. “Now, lie down.” I slowly bring my back against the smooth surface of Clive’s desk. It’s cold against my back and I arch up slightly before settling. My hands grip the edge, waiting for his next order. Instead of another command, he places his hands on either side of me. He brings his mouth down on my nipple and sucks on it. My hands grip the edge tighter. He moves on to my other nipple and I moan with pleasure. He leaves my breast and trails kisses down my stomach. He reaches the edge of my pants and I twist my neck to look at him.
“Are we doing this again?”
“Mmhm.” Clive is between my legs and he yanks my pants and underwear off. He pulls me to the edge of the desk and once again I can feel his breath between my legs. He kisses the inside of my thighs and then begins his assault of my vagina. He sticks his tongue inside me and I arch my back, feeling the pleasure run up my body. He licks my folds, but manages to avoid the ‘spot.’ But it still feels so good. He doesn’t make me wait long, though. He sucks on my clit and I have my first orgasm of the night – hoping I’ll have more.
Clive removes himself from between my legs and kisses himself back up my stomach. When he kisses my mouth, I can taste the remnants of me on his lips and I wonder what he tastes like. He moves his mouth over to my cheek and lightly brushes his lips against it. “I know I said I wanted to bend you over my desk, but then I wouldn’t be able to watch your face as you have an orgasm.” Well we wouldn’t want that.
“Then fuck me against the wall,” I suggest. I’m starting to accept that I have a bit of a dirty mind. And, a dirty mouth. I sometimes still can’t believe some of the things I say, but I’m getting acclimated with it. Clive smiles at my proposal and I think he’s going to accept it. He removes the rest of his clothes, so now we’re both naked, and he moves back on top of me. I think he also managed to put on a condom. He swiftness reminds me how experienced he is, but I push that thought to the back of mind, refusing to let it bother me now.
“Wrap your legs around me.” I do what he says and he picks me up off his desk. I wrap my arms around his neck and place my chin in the crook of his neck. It’s comforting having his arms around me. I feel my back hit a wall and lean my head back. “Are you ready?” I nod. “I need to hear you say it.”
“I’m ready.” He gives me a quick kiss and I feel him position himself at my entrance.
“I’ll go slowly, okay?”
“Okay.” He penetrates me gradually and it’s almost overwhelming. I hold my breath and shut my eyes tight, trying to relax. He stops moving and asks me to open my eyes. “Yes?”
“Do you want me to stop?” I don’t. I never want him to stop.
“No, keep going. It’s just a… new feeling.” He keeps going and I squeeze my arms around him tighter, digging my nails into my palms.
“Relax. Breathe. We’re almost there.” I hear the restraint in his voice and know he’s holding back. I wonder what he’s like when he’s completely unrestrained? I’d love to see. I let out a long breath and soon he’s completely inside me. “How does that feel?”
“Filling?... Filling. I feel full.” Everything I’m saying comes out breathy. I want him to start moving. I know he’s worried since it’s my first time and I appreciate the concern, but I’m ready for more. “Whenever you’re ready to commence fucking me, I’m good to go.” I think I’ve shocked him again, but it passes quickly. He starts to pull out, just as slowly. “I told you-”
He interrupts me with a kiss and then slams into me. I gasp into his mouth, surprised, but happy he did what I asked. Even though there’s some pain, it feels sublime mixed with the pleasure. He continues to pound in and out of me and I hear our bodies slap together. The wall scratches my back and I know I’ll have some bruising, but I don’t care. My senses are on high alert and everything feels that much more intense.
Oh my god, Clive!” He doesn�
��t relent and I get my wish. He’s unrestrained. I bring my nails down his back. I’m not going to be the only one with marks on my backside. “Don’t stop.”
“You have no idea how much I’ve thought about this.” If it’s as much as I have then I know it’s a lot. “You feel so much better than I imagined. God, you’re so tight.” And I can feel myself getting tighter. “Are you going to come? Are you going to come for me?”
“Yes!” I know I’m close. My stomach’s in knots, it’s agonizing, but heavenly.
“Then look at me. Look at me as you finish.” I look at him and finally the tension breaks. I have to close my eyes, my orgasm courses through me so violently. I throw my head against the wall and feel it wash over me as he grinds his hips into my pelvis. My nails dig into his back so forcefully, I potentially break skin, but I don’t know. My walls pulse around him and I hold on to him for dear life. Not too long after, Clive finishes, grunting out my name as he makes his final thrust. “Oh, fuck.” His face is so calm; I wish I could experience this every day. That I could watch him whenever I wanted. I brush my fingers against his cheek. Our breathing evens out as we both come down.
“Is it always this good?” He cocks his head to the side, contemplating. After taking a few seconds to think, Clive places a kiss on my forehead and responds.
“Not even close.” He withdraws himself from me and I let out a little grunt, still sensitive from before. He takes a step back from the wall and lets me down. I suddenly feel very naked because I am very naked. We’re both very naked. I cross my arms over my chest and look for my clothes. “Are we doing this again?” I stop searching and look back up at him.
“What?”
“Every time something happens between us, you run off. This time I’d like you to stay. Why don’t you stay?” Stay and do what? Our relationship is so undefined that I never know what to do when I’m around him. I feel like it could fracture at any moment and the ‘us’ that I have built in my mind will disintegrate into nothingness. The more time I spend with him, the more likely he’ll get bored with me and move on to someone better. Instead of saying any of this I agree to stay for a little while.
“I can stay, but I’d like to get dressed first?” He relaxes and we both put our clothes back on. Well, Clive puts on his boxers and t-shirt, but I fully dress myself. He goes to lie down on the couch in the corner of his office and motions for me to lie down on top of him. I do so and he wraps his arms around me. “Only for a little while, then I need to get home…” The words come out sleepily and I find myself slipping into a dream as Clive talks to me about… something? I can’t quite make it out. I must’ve been a lot more tired than I thought.
I wake and look up to see Clive’s face. He’s still asleep and looks quite peaceful. I could wake up to him every morning. I sigh. Morning? Morning! I sit up with a start that shakes Clive awake and realize I spent the night at the office. The very thing I was trying to avoid. Clive rubs his eyes and lets out a yawn.
“What time is it?” I turn to him and my panicked expression wakes him up. “What’s wrong?”
“It’s morning and everyone’s going to be in the office,” I check my watch, “in about an hour.” I get off of him and rush to put on my shoes.
“Wait! Where are you going?”
“I wasn’t supposed to spend the night and now I need to get home.” I’m on the verge of tears. There is no way I’m going to be able to explain my way out of this. “I wasn’t supposed to spend the night.” I don’t let him answer and I run out of the office. I jump in my car and rush home.
I arrive and run up the steps, but before I can get inside, my dad opens the door. My mom is standing behind him and from their expressions, I can tell they are more than angry with me.
“Mom, Dad. I can explain.”
“No. We’ve let you explain too much.” My dad’s tone is even, but I can hear the anger behind his voice. “You’re going to have to see Pastor Nichols. He’s the only one who can help us now.” My heart sinks and for the first time since last night, I feel bad about sleeping with Clive. I was so caught up in fulfilling my desires, that I let them get the better of me and I slept with him. The one thing I promised myself I wouldn’t do. The one things I was told never to do. I go inside to clean myself up and then head over to the church to ask for forgiveness for my sins.
CLIVE
It’s been seven days since I’ve seen Adriel. The first two days were the weekend, so that was expected. The next two, I dealt with her absence well. I thought, “Maybe she just wanted to take a few days off.” But by the seventh, I was confused. We slept together and then she ran away. She ran away again. I’ve never had a woman run away from me before. And she does it so much. Spending time in my office doesn’t help. Every time I sit at my desk, I remember kissing her breasts, undressing her, having sex with her against the wall. Even falling asleep with her on the couch. I cannot believe I fell asleep with her on the couch. Maybe she’s mad I let her sleep through the night. It was the just the feeling of her on my body. I had thought a mandatory cuddle would’ve been nice, given she just lost her virginity, but I know it was just an excuse. I wanted to be close to her. I didn’t want the night to end.
My partners have noticed me moping. I once again can’t get a read for Williams’s emotions, but Chambers seems to be reveling in my misery while Masters is worried. He’s been avoiding talking about it, but today, I can tell he’s had enough. About midday, he comes bursting into my office, wanting answers.
“Okay. What is it Clive? You’ve been a bucket of sadness the past three days and I’m sick of it. What is going on?” He’s taken an aggressive stance in front of my desk. I slowly stand up and make my way around, so we’re face to face.
“It’s Adriel, okay? I just- I think I may’ve messed up.” I run my hand through my hair and rack my brain. I’ve been over all our encounters, but can’t find anything to suggest her completely cutting me out. Masters grabs my shoulders and shakes me.
“What did you do? Dear god, what did you do?” I feel bad letting my friend down, but I don’t regret any of it for one second. Even one night with her is worth it. Not to say, I don’t intensely want more.
“I slept with her and she hasn’t been back to work since and I’m worried that-”
“You slept,” he starts off shouting, but quickly brings it down to a loud whisper, “with your nineteen-year-old employee? After, I asked you, specifically, not to pull any of your usual bullshit? Because I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but we’re in an image crisis. And an image crisis can lead to an actual crisis. What if she sues? What if Chambers finds out? Do you have a plan?” He’s assaulting me with questions I have no answers to, but he doesn’t seem to care. I can tell there’s a lot of anger he needs to work through. I have put the company in jeopardy. But this time, it wasn’t just for my libido. It may’ve started out that way, but I found myself genuinely liking Adriel’s presence. She managed to fit into my life, so perfectly. And any room I had to make was done so because I wanted her to stay. It was done because I didn’t want to lose her. I’m about to cut Masters off when there is a knock at the door. We both turn and see Williams standing there, giving us an amused look. She always looks like she knows more than the rest of us. And she probably does.
“What are you two chittering about?” I turn to Masters, not sure what he plans to do. He could tell Williams, we’d have another meeting of the partners, and I could be forced out or he could try and protect me.
“We’re just having a friendly chat about…” I can see him searching for an excuse. He’s usually much better on his feet, but emotions are running high for him. Williams basically ignores him and without missing a beat says,
“Because if it’s about the employee your sleeping with, Clive, I thought you should know she just quit.” Well, that was unexpected. There is a lot to unpack in that sentence. First off, Williams somehow knows about Adriel and secondly,
“She quit?” Why?
Masters interjects with, “More importantly, Gabrielle. How did you know?” That is important because if she knows there’s a chance Chambers knows. And if Chambers knows, I’m royally fucked. I’m truly and royally fucked.
“I know everything. You boys aren’t as smart as you think.” Neither one of us speaks for long enough that Williams takes it as an indication to leave. “Well, it’s been-”
“Did Adriel tell you why she quit?” I mean I know she was upset about spending the night, but upset enough to leave without even talking to me? Upset enough to quit?
Williams lets out a long sigh before saying anything. “I didn’t ask and she didn’t offer.” That’s disappointing. I need to get answers, find out why- “However, she gave me this letter for you.” Williams pulls out a white envelope with my name on it. She walks over and hands it to me.
“Is that it?” Masters’ anger has for sure gone down. He seems mainly curious now. Probably wants answers just like I do, but for different reasons. Williams shrugs.
“Yeah, I guess.” She once again makes to leave, but turns around before exiting. “Listen, Clive. I don’t know how you feel about this girl, but I’m going to give you some advice right now, so please don’t interrupt me.” I nod. “From where I stand, you have two options. You can leave this girl alone. She’s left quietly without any fuss and, as a company, we can move forward with no extra blemishes to our name. Because I need you to know something. I like you. You’re not a bad guy, but if you do something to put us at risk, your ass is on the curb.” Business or love? Love? Do I… love her? Or am I starting to fall in love with her? “However, if you’re serious about this girl, I say go for it. I find the whole business or love debate redundant. It’s easy to have both if you’re willing to work for it.” Woah. I feel like she just read my mind. She may really know everything. “And with that, I’ll leave you two. Make the right decision.” And with that she leaves us.
