by Maisey Yates
“Swimming pools. Movie stars.”
“Hell yeah.”
“It’s a nice dream,” he said.
“Sure. What about you? What will you do when it’s over?”
“What everyone does after a hurricane hits. Rebuild.”
“Do you think you can?”
He chuckled. “No. But I’ll damn well try. Because the rubble that will be left behind? That’s my legacy. I’ll live or die in it. Eventually we’ll find out which.”
Chapter Eleven
It was midmorning when they got back to the penthouse the following day. Austin had held her all night, and when she’d woken up, for the first time in her life, she’d felt like the one being protected.
She’d woken up with Trey in her bed before. His little body cold because the heat was off. Trembling, and with no one else to turn to. And later, she’d locked herself in her room, feeling like she was breaking apart from the inside out, and found her solace in a pill bottle.
This was different. This was...
It was nice to have someone there who made her feel safe. Who made her feel like she was sharing a burden.
And they were. She and Austin shared the weight over Sarah’s death more than anyone else. More than Trey, because Katy had shielded him from it, and because he’d hardly known the sister who’d moved out when he was three. More than her parents, who’d never been sober enough to really understand.
Austin was carrying it. And he was going to see it finished.
He was her own, personal Samwise, helping her carry the ring to Mount Doom. Or something like that.
Whatever, she’d found something with him. Sure, their bond was made of grief and rage, but in between was incredible sex and the beginning of what felt like a friendship.
So, it wasn’t all bad.
“What would you have me do, master?” she said, turning to face him in the hall.
“Do not mess with me like that, Katy. I could get used to it,” he said.
“I wouldn’t complain.”
“You might if I made you my good little slave girl.”
“I already am, aren’t I?”
“Only when you’re naked. The rest of the time you seem to fight me for control.”
“I have no interest in being submissive when there’s no orgasm in it for me.” But she couldn’t deny that “good little slave girl” made something inside of her tingle.
“What exactly were you looking for instruction on?”
“Where do you want me to sleep?”
“Your toothbrush is already on my sink. I might as well reap the benefits. You should sleep in my bed. Naked, naturally.”
“So I’ll be a good slave?”
“You said it, not me.”
“I’m so tired. And we didn’t do anything.”
“Except have sex all night.”
“Except that,” she said drily, heading through to his bedroom, feeling a strange sense of intimacy close in on them when she crossed the threshold.
This needed to stop. Or at least...she needed to stop letting Austin take up so much head space. None of this was supposed to be about him. It wasn’t supposed to be about her.
“I think I need a shower,” he said, tugging his shirt up over his head. “Wash the travel grit off.”
Her throat dried at the sight of his body. Hard, carved lines of muscle, dark hair over his pecs, thinning out down his abs, down beneath his jeans. She wanted to touch him. She wanted to lick him. It suddenly seemed more important than revenge.
She cleared her throat. “You have travel grit after driving a couple of hours? Sex-ay.”
“It’s a clever ploy to con you into the shower.”
“Hell, dude, you have three showerheads. All you have to do is ask.”
Just another couple of hours. Just a little more. A chance to feel something more than anger. Something more than numb. Something only Austin could give.
* * *
Austin looked out the window and leaned back in his chair. Damn. He still had two cases to review before he could go home and be with Katy.
Katy, whose panties had been on his bathroom floor this morning. Whose toothbrush was in the holder with his on the sink.
Katy, who had taken over his life, his brain and his body.
And he couldn’t even be sorry. She made him smile, which was ludicrous in so many ways. With his world crashing down around him, she made him feel both in control and blessedly out of it. She made him feel bliss.
She even made him laugh.
It was New Year’s Eve and they were supposed to go to his dad’s party tonight, a part of making the reconciliation look like A Thing That Was Happening, but he couldn’t muster up any desire to go.
Not when the alternative involved staying home all night with Katy. As soon as he walked in the door from work he fully intended to push her down on the nearest surface and have his way with her until neither of them could think.
He was in the mood to tie her to the bed tonight. To pleasure her until she was begging for him to stop. But he wouldn’t.
No, he would pleasure her until he was done.
He looked at the files on his desk and growled.
He wondered how she was doing. If she were still stressed about her brother and his scholarship. There was really nothing she could do to fix it. If the kid was intent on slacking off, then that was what he was going to do. But he knew that she felt like it was her job to fix it.
Just like he would if it were Addison.
Just like he did now, because it was Katy’s problem. And Katy’s problem felt like his, God knew why. It did, though. He felt it like a weight on him, just as he felt it release, for both of them, when they were in bed.
And sometimes just when they were together.
That woman had gotten underneath his skin, straight into his blood. And he couldn’t work out how to get her back out.
When it’s all said and done, she’ll be gone. And you won’t have to worry about it anymore.
True enough, but for now, he was worried about it. And worried about her.
He let out a slow breath and picked up his phone. “Can you connect me with the athletics department at U Conn?”
* * *
Katy had never enjoyed takeout more.
Austin had just freed her hands, and now she was ready to eat. Completely naked, her wrists a little bit red from the way they’d done things tonight. It had been rough; it had been raw.
But she was happy. So happy.
“I liked your technique with the scarves,” she said.
“Really?” He picked up a carton of noodles and stuck his chopsticks inside.
“Yes. I’m thinking, though...maybe we should get some handcuffs.”
“You’d like that?” he asked, taking a bite.
“What did I tell you about my authority-figure fantasies? Arrest me and make me talk my way out of it,” she said, leaning over and taking a bite of food from his carton.
“I’m not sure about that.”
“Because?”
“It’s a total miscarriage of justice. If a police officer ever really did anything like that, I’d prosecute his ass so hard he wouldn’t be able to sit for weeks.”
“That’s so hot. I think I’m having lawyer fantasies instead of cop fantasies now. Would you prosecute me?” she asked, wiggling her eyebrows. “Would you prosecute me hard?”
“I think you know I would.”
She smiled and stole more of his food. “So what has you in such a good mood?” she asked.
“Am I in a good mood?”
“You aren’t as growly as usual. And also you seem to be smiling. An actual Austin Treffen smile. Those are rare, like a unicorn, and I treasure each one.”
“Actually, I have something to tell you,” he said, smiling again. Her heart kicked.
“You solved global warming.”
“Dammit, Katy, now whatever I say is going to sound stupid. I’ll fail because I didn’t s
olve global warming.”
“Fine, work on that next.”
He reached over and took a bite from her food. “Great. Since my specialty is law and not science, I’ll get right on that.”
“Sorry, baby,” she said, leaning in and kissing his lips.
“‘Baby’?”
“Sure. You call me that.”
He cleared his throat. “Anyway...”
“Yes, what did you do?”
“I called U Conn’s athletic department today and offered a very generous donation. But only if they would look upon Trey Michaels with leniency.”
“You did...what?”
“I called about Trey. I don’t really have to repeat it, do I?”
“I just can’t believe you would do that.... I can’t...I can’t believe...” She could hardly breathe past all the emotions that were cycling through her. Could hardly think. And then anger came to the rescue. Because it was the only emotion she had much practice with. And it was readily available.
“How could you do that without talking to me first?” she asked.
“What?”
“I was handling it, Austin.”
“Oh, forgive me. I thought you were sitting here naked eating takeout.”
“Are you serious right now?” She slammed the carton down onto the blankets and a noodle spilled over the edge. “How much did you pay them?”
He named a figure that made her curse.
“I can never pay that back,” she said, “and you damn well know it. You took...everything from me. My power, and now you’re making me indebted to you in ways—”
“I fucking took everything from you?” he asked, his voice rising now. “Funny, I thought I gave you a whole bunch of stuff to balance it out. A place to stay, access to my father and help with your revenge. Plus, I recall an orgasm or fifty.”
“I don’t think you understand, Austin. Because no matter how much you care, no matter how much you give to people like Sarah, people like me, the power is always yours to command. I have nothing next to you and this just emphasizes that. I can’t pay you back,” she said again.
“I don’t want you to. It was a gift.”
“I already owe the Treffens money. The last thing I want is to take out...a...a loan on your guilt.”
“A loan on my guilt? Screw that. Screw guilt. This has nothing to do with guilt. This is because I wanted to do something for you. Because I didn’t want you carrying it all. It has nothing to do with my dad, and nothing to do with Sarah. This was about you.”
“I...I...”
“Do you think I’m in bed with you thinking of them? Of her? I damn well am not. I can’t think of anything else, of anyone else, not when I’m with you.”
“You were thinking of her plenty right at first. With all your shame over tying me up. Like a little bondage makes you a serial killer or something. So don’t throw me some line about not thinking of them.”
“I don’t now,” he said, his voice tight. “Because...because like you said, it does something for both of us. And this was both of us, too. I don’t like seeing you stressed out. I don’t want you to be hurt, and I wanted to do something for you. And now it’s not a solution for global warming, and somehow you think I’m paying you blood money, so I can’t win.”
That took some of the anger out of her. Replaced it with confusion.
“That’s not what I meant. I just didn’t expect for you to do something like this for me. Because no one ever has. No one has ever...no one has ever done anything like this for me. No one has ever done anything for me. It’s always been...me. I’m the strong one. I fix things. And the only time I’m allowed to have a meltdown is in my room, and even then...I would take drugs to feel numb instead because I didn’t have time to have a meltdown. So I just don’t know how to take something like this. I don’t know how to be much of anything other than angry and distrustful.... Austin, I want to believe you did that for me. I want to believe it. That there’s nothing attached to it.”
“There isn’t, Katy. I promise. And I know it’s a dick thing to say, but the money doesn’t matter to me, because it’s something I have. It’s something I can give you. And I know it feels like a lot, but to me it isn’t. Having the ability to do something for you is what means a lot to me.”
“I don’t know how to respond to this. To any of this.”
“Just say thank you, Katy. That’s what you do when someone does something nice for you.”
And all the anger was gone now, replaced by a need so deep it frightened her. By a desire that went so far beyond the physical it crossed into unknown territory. It had nothing to do with revenge. It had nothing to do with anything she could identify and it scared her.
She cleared her throat. “Well, this has never happened to me before, so I was stumped on the protocol.”
He cupped her face and leaned in, and her heart thundered hard and loud in her ears. “‘Thank you’ is enough. I’ll have my thank-you now.”
She blinked back tears. Frustrated tears. At him, at herself. Happy tears because no one had ever wanted to fix something for her before. No one had even tried. Austin had tried. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. This was just about you. Because I didn’t want to see you upset like that.”
“Well, the little bastard really should handle his own stuff.”
“But you couldn’t let it go.”
“Of course not!”
“Neither could I.” He kissed her then, and she felt it, not just in her body, but in her heart. She wished she didn’t feel it in her heart. She wished the need was only skin-deep.
He pulled away and she looked over at the clock. “Oh, no! It’s after ten. How did it get so late? We were supposed to go to your father’s thing and you were supposed to pretend to be reconciling and stuff!”
“I could just tell him you were tied up.”
“OMG. Do not even go there again. It was bad enough when you used that line to get me fired.”
“But it’s the truth. You were. Tied up and at my mercy. You couldn’t exactly go put your makeup on. Or, you know, keep me from taking your panties off and licking your...”
“Seriously. You can’t tell him that.”
“Seriously, I won’t.”
“Good. He’s sick. I don’t want him thinking about me like that.”
“I like thinking of you like that,” he said, his tone suddenly serious, his dark eyes searching. “What does that make me?”
“Hot. But then, I want to be with you, so I suppose that’s the difference.”
“Even though I was a high-handed asshole who took over your life and did something for you that may well have compromised your agency?”
“Even then,” she said. “Life is hard, Austin. Thank you for helping it feel not quite so bad.”
“Now I’m the one damned with faint praise.”
“Tie me up again and your praise will not be faint.”
He put his carton of food on the nightstand. “This is a much better way to spend the evening.”
“Is it?” she asked, her heart thundering.
They shouldn’t skip the party. They should go. She should try to get back into Jason’s office. But she didn’t want to.
Austin picked up one of the scarves and stretched it between his hands. “No question.”
Soon she would have to change her focus again. Soon she would have to build her walls again. Protect herself from all the feelings. Find her numbness. Her anger. Her drive.
Soon.
But for now, Austin was in control. He was going to bear the burdens, if only in bed, if only tonight.
And she was going to happily obey his every command.
Chapter Twelve
“Where the hell were you last night, boy?”
Austin’s ear nearly bled from the screed coming through his phone and into his ear.
“What?”
“The party. You were supposed to be there.”
“I know,” Aust
in said as he rolled out of bed, looking at the sleeping woman that was still burrowed beneath the blankets. He rubbed a hand over his face, trying to clear his head. He hadn’t slept. He and Katy had rung in the New Year in the best way he could think of. Their own personal party that had lasted until the sky had started turning a light shade of gray.
“What happened?”
“Just a second.” He bent over and picked up his pants and tugged them on, then walked out of the room so he wouldn’t disturb Katy.
He closed the bedroom door behind him and started down the hall. “Something came up.”
“A business matter or a female one?” his father asked.
“I don’t see what difference it makes. You would have skipped an event for either reason, so let’s not be self-righteous in our indignation now.”
The words were a bit more honest than he’d intended. A bit too sharp. But he found he didn’t care. For some reason, between darkness and dawn, or maybe just between Katy’s thighs, he’d started growing more and more averse to the idea of playing at a reconciliation between the two of them.
The idea of going to one more party, offering him one more smile, had started to seem unbearable.
“You’ve grown a spine in the past decade, Austin,” his father said, a vague hint of approval in his voice.
“Ten years is a long time.”
“So it is.”
“So now why are you jumping down my throat over missing a party, when we both know in these past ten years when I was busy growing a spine, I didn’t attend a single one of your events?”
“I was expecting you.”
“And I wasn’t there. Why does it matter?”
“Your mother asked for a divorce—no, she demanded one in front of everyone.”
Jason’s words stunned him. He hadn’t realized his mother had had that in her. That was scandal, on every level, something Lenore Treffen had a total aversion to. And yet she’d done it anyway.
He had to wonder what else his mother knew.
“Did she say why?” he asked, feigning ignorance. Because he would as long as he could.
“She’s accused me of infidelity.”
“And?”
“She has no evidence of it. Come now, Austin. You’re a man. You know how things are. Do you honestly think you would be faithful to one woman for thirty-five years of your life?”
