Lucy raised her brows. “You mean not seeing.”
“Okay, okay, well, I saw him. Two days ago.”
“Saw him, saw him?”
“Yes, saw him, saw him.”
“So what, he looks like an ogre and you’re disappointed?”
“No. He looks like Seth Wellington and I’m freaked out.”
“You’re freaked out because he looks like—”
“Lucy, he is Seth Wellington.”
“Oh my God.” She backed up and met a comforting solid chest behind her. Link drew out a chair from the table and steered her toward it, seated himself on the opposite side and watched, clearly concerned. She mouthed Krista and he nodded. “That’s unbelievable, Kris.”
“Oh, it gets worse. Remember when we were at Thai Banquet, that guy behind us who spilled his water?”
Lucy’s smile at Link faded into shock. “Don’t even tell me.”
“Yup. He was listening to our conversation the whole time. He knew I’d be going to Maine and he knew my fantasy was to be screwed by a stranger.”
“Oh, my goodness. That’s…I don’t even know what it is.” She lifted her arm and let it drop back down on the table. “Did you force him to reveal who he was?”
“No. He did it voluntarily after we agreed it was what we wanted.”
Lucy frowned harder. Interesting that he’d agreed. The situation sounded pretty complicated. And if she knew her sister, Krista was still trying to paint it black-and-white.
“Why do you think he agreed to show himself?”
“I thought it was because he had feelings for me.”
“And why don’t you think so now?”
“He’s Seth Wellington.”
“Um, I got that. But it’s not an answer.”
“He knew who I was the whole time. He took advantage of me.”
Lucy drew her brows down. Krista wasn’t exactly the victim type. Plus she’d bounded into this gladly, and damn the risks. “From what you told me, the seduction in the cabin was at your instigation. And until this happened, you were giddier and happier to be with this guy than anyone I’ve ever seen you with.”
Link shoved over a napkin on which he’d scribbled More man trouble? Lucy nodded and he rolled his eyes and returned to the sink to fill his glass.
“Lucy, none of that was real.”
Lucy laughed. “Why do I feel like we’ve had this conversation before but on opposite sides? Wasn’t that what I kept telling you?”
“Yes. But…I thought it could be. I thought…I hoped somehow we could take the excitement and great sex and fantasy and merge it into the reality of our lives.”
Lucy nodded, feeling a twinge of dread. Exactly what she and Link still needed to do. They had their fantasy fun…and their real life together. So far the two had stayed way too separate. “So wait, Krista, why can’t you do that now? Merge the two?”
“Because he’s Seth Wellington.”
“I think we’ve established that.”
“Lucy.”
“Okay, I’m sorry.” Lucy couldn’t help a smile. For once Krista was a bigger in-love mess than she was. “He had to know what revealing himself would do to your relationship.”
“Maybe he wanted to end it.”
“Is that how he acted?”
A sigh. “No.”
“Krista…” She grimaced, uncomfortable in the advice-giving role, since their positions were usually switched. “Sounds to me like he wanted to come clean because he cares about you. You keep saying because it’s not A, it has to be Z, when there’s an entire alphabet of choices in between.”
“I’ve been skewering his stepsister for the last year. How do I know this all hasn’t been some weird plot to stop me? I told you about that guy in the supermarket.”
“Did you ask Seth about that?”
“Yes.” Short silence. “He said his sister sent him. He’s her bodyguard.”
“And?”
“And so how do I know he’s telling the truth?”
Lucy covered the phone to try to muffle a snort of laughter. She didn’t mean to be uncaring, but it was so delicious to see her sister wallowing in the same kind of romantic confusion Lucy had spent her last few years.
“What is so funny?”
“Nothing. I’m just so thrilled you finally fell for someone this hard.”
“What? Fell for him?” She sputtered in outrage. “The guy is a…he’s…he lied and he—”
“If you had no feelings for him, you’d shake your head in disgust and move on, like you’ve done with pretty much every other guy who turned out to be a jerk.”
Silence. Lucy winked at Link, drew a heart in the air, patted her chest, then pointed to the phone. He winked back and gave her a thumbs-up.
“Listen, Krista. Before this, did you ever get the sense that anything he told you wasn’t true?”
“Well…no. But I—”
“When you found out who he was, did he seem to have a reasonable explanation for everything you hurled at him?”
“How do you know I hurled things at him?”
“Please.” Lucy rolled her eyes. “You’re my sister. When you’re upset and scared, you hurl.”
“Scared? What did I have to be scared of?”
Lucy waited a devilish beat before delivering her punch line. “Losing the man you love.”
“Oh, pleez. I do not—”
“It’s okay, don’t panic.”
“I’m not panicking, I’m furious.”
“You’re terrified. Terrified you’ll lose him. Calm down, and when you’re calm, think it over. Remember his expressions, everything he said, open your mind, imagine yourself caught in his position and in this bizarre situation you two cooked up for yourselves. Then listen to your heart and it will tell you the truth.”
A sob came over the phone and Lucy smiled wider. Her sister was a goner. She’d realize it eventually if she hadn’t already. And if there was a God, Seth had fallen just as hard and he’d realize it and then Lucy could be very, very smug for a long time watching her sister as enslaved by passion and love as Lucy had been ever since she met Link.
“Truce?”
“Truce.” With a sniffle.
“Honey, Krista, it’s going to be okay. Just don’t hide behind the fear and the outrage. This is so important. You need to get real.”
“God, don’t say that.” She laughed through tears and hiccuped.
“Call me anytime you need me, okay?” Lucy smiled again. Krista needed her.
“Thanks, Luce. I’m a mess.”
“Yup. But you’ll get better. I promise.”
“You’ll be at Mom’s Christmas Eve, Saturday?”
“Have I ever missed?”
“No. Of course not. See you then.”
“’Bye, Krista.” Lucy hung up the phone and got to dance her Broadway number after all.
Link put his glass back on the counter, caught her, spun her around and dipped her daringly low. “I gather the mighty has finally fallen?”
“She has. With a mighty splat.” She gazed up into his black-lashed blue eyes and felt that same melting thrill his gaze used to produce. “I just hope this guy cares for her as much as I suspect he does.”
He brought her out of the dip and nodded seriously. “Me, too.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.” He grinned sheepishly. “She drives me nuts sometimes being such a know-it-all, but I love her.”
“I’m glad.” She smiled back at him and started to the sink to finish the dishes and her nightly chores. “Well, duty still calls, don’t it.”
“I’m going to bed.” Link yawned and stretched. “Been a tiring evening. I’m not as young as I used to be.”
She barely kept her laughter back. “Could have fooled me.”
“Ha.” He circled her waist with his arms. “Forget the routine. Come to bed with me.”
“But I haven’t—”
“Shhh.” He kissed her neck. “The world won’t stop if you leave
a dish or two soaking. Trust me.”
“You’re sure?” She glanced toward the sink, feigning deep anxiety at the thought, wishing he’d offer to do it for her.
“I’m sure.” He started walking backward toward the door, pulling her with him.
“But…but…my dishes!”
He chuckled and swung her firmly around, pushing her in front of him. “Dishes tomorrow. Bed now.”
She relented, giggling, and led the way. Okay, maybe she’d become too rigid in the last few years. Maybe she wasn’t as much fun as she used to be. Maybe not as spontaneous. Maybe not a big inspiration to the passion she missed from him? The thought was a huge relief. Something she could work on. Something she could do to make things better between them, so she could stop feeling so depressed and helpless. And maybe in time he’d come around, too, help out a bit more, give her the support she missed herself.
All good. Note to self: stop being a tight-ass. Krista should probably learn the same lesson, but maybe that was for Seth to teach her.
She followed Link into their bedroom and changed into her nightgown while he put on his favorite Patriots T-shirt and the plaid boxers she bought him for Christmas years ago. When had they gone to bed at the same time in the last months? Either he stayed up watching a movie or she stayed up brooding. She couldn’t wait.
They slipped into the king bed from opposite sides, but instead of going to sleep, she crossed over to him and fit herself to his side, the way they used to, always.
“Today was a good day.” She yawned and stroked his solid chest through the soft cotton.
“Amen to that.” He chuckled.
“What’s so funny?” She adjusted her head on his shoulder, savoring the comforting feel of his strong arm at her back.
“Just remembering a particularly fabulous moment out tonight with the guys.”
“I had some pretty great times at work, too.”
“Really.” He gave her a brief squeeze. “I’m not sure I’ve ever seen anyone so devoted to her job.”
“Mmm.” She pressed against him. “I think I’m going to have to work late soon again.”
“Yeah, the guys have another date lined up, too.”
“Good.” She kissed his cheek. “It’s important for you to see them as much as possible.”
“I agree.” He yawned and flung his hand over his forehead the way he did when he was on his way to sleep.
Lucy listened to his breathing, soft and reassuring in the darkness, and felt a wash of love so fierce it was almost frightening. How could she have even thought of putting this at risk with Josh?
“Link?”
“Mmm.”
“I think we should go early to my parents on Christmas Eve and help Mom get the roast started. It’s harder for her every year.”
Silence. Was he asleep? “Link?”
“Lucy…I…wanted to talk to you about that.”
Dread. For some reason she felt a landslide of it. “About what?”
“About having Christmas here at home this year. You and me.”
She stiffened. Christmas without her family? “But we always go to my parents’.”
“I know we always go.” Irritation crept into his tone. “I’m suggesting we don’t go.”
She put her hand to her temple, trying to imagine her and Link here…what, watching TV? “But the decorating and the carols…who will play the piano if I’m not there?”
He sighed. “Never mind, Luce. I just thought it would be a nice change.”
“Well, we can be here for New Year’s. That’s fine. Christmas is…well, it’s Christmas.”
“Right. Can’t argue there.”
She lay next to him, wishing there was something more she could say to get them back to their wonderful mood earlier, thinking of nothing. Why wouldn’t he want to go to her family’s house? Didn’t he enjoy being part of it? Why hadn’t he ever told her if he didn’t?
“Luce?”
“Yes.” She found herself bracing for whatever he was about to say.
“Remember our first date senior year?”
She laughed, relief relaxing her. “Like I could forget?”
“Did you ever get the wine stain out of that skirt?”
“Faster than your bruise faded.”
“Rocky beginning, huh.”
“A little. But considering you asked me to move in with you three months after graduation, I’d say we got past it.”
“I’d say.” He rubbed her shoulder absently. “Remember the day you moved in?”
“Pouring.”
“Of course.” He chuckled, then his body tensed and the silence between them felt awkward again. “The first thing you did after we got your stuff in was rearrange all my furniture.”
Lucy laughed too loudly, sensing something wrong, not sure what it was. “It was a decorating disaster.”
“That bugged me.”
She lifted her head and made out his features in the near darkness. He was staring at the ceiling, frowning slightly. She thought back to that day, how excited and nervous she’d been, how strange it had felt to be calling someone else’s territory home. How badly she’d needed to put her stamp on the place.
Had she thought about him in all that? How he’d feel having someone move in and turn everything upside down?
No.
“Wow, Link, I…wow. I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have to be sorry. I don’t even know why I brought it up now.”
She kept staring at him. Why had he? Tonight? Because he felt close to her? Or because the adventure at the hotel had only underscored how far apart they’d grown at home? Why would he bring something like that up and ruin their perfect day?
“Link. I’m…I—” She stopped, frustrated as hell. Maybe nothing had changed. Maybe she was creating a fantasy no more substantial than Krista’s first visit with John Smith in the dark.
“What is it?”
“Nothing.” She pressed her lips against his warm stubbled skin, hating that she’d shut him out again but unable to articulate her fears. “I’m glad you told me.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. Really.”
“So now I can list everything about you that bugs me and you’ll be even happier?”
She winced as if he’d hit her, then forced her voice to come out light. “Um…no. But if you want, we can put all the furniture back the way you had it.”
“No way. It was a disaster.” He found her mouth for a brief kiss. “Good night, Miss Lucy.”
He released her and settled himself, partly turned away. She took her cue and moved back to her side of the bed, trying not to be devastated. So they wouldn’t make love again and spend the night twined blissfully in each other’s arms. That was okay. She’d sleep better this way probably, and so would he. This early in their adventure she couldn’t expect miracles.
One step at a time.
She turned restlessly, mounded her down pillow into a more comfortable shape, hearing Link’s breathing behind her turn to the deep, regular rhythm of sleep, sure she’d spend most of the night awake again.
Because if a hot, exciting affair with the man she loved didn’t work to revitalize their relationship, to bring them back together at home, she didn’t know what more she could do.
14
SETH STOOD ON HIS balcony, gazing out at Boston Harbor, Elvis mug full of hot coffee keeping his hand and his insides warm. The air was heavy and cold and smelled of snow on its way. Christmas Eve.
The grand opening of the stores had been three days earlier. Santas and elves and toy giveaways and special offers and performers and somehow, somehow, he’d pulled it all off. Yes, he’d rather have been able to schedule the opening at the start of the holiday season, but being this close to Christmas had made it special, he had to admit.
It remained to be seen how the new image would affect the stores’ bottom line in the future, but the bold splashes of color, the sharp angles and dramatic lighting had produced
the perfect effect. Cool but not intimidating, chic but not frighteningly so. Aimee had behaved with great restraint, and even the board members had enjoyed themselves, slapped him on the back and congratulated each other as if they’d been gung-ho from the beginning.
His father had been beside himself with pride and pleasure, emotions Seth was proud and pleased to have been responsible for. Soon enough Dad would jump back in and take over and Seth would be free to move on.
He gazed out at the horizon, waiting for the excited rumblings to start, for the voices of adventure to lure him into fantasies of traveling distances, seeking out new friends and faces and places. But the mighty beckoning ocean only looked aimless and frigid and alone this afternoon. And all that came to him were images of what he’d be leaving behind. Wellington stores. His father. Even Aimee.
And Krista.
A gust of wind whipped across the balcony, sharp and biting, sending him back into his living room, tastefully furnished, tidy and clean as always. Not for the first time he wished Krista had never set foot in the place, that he’d never seen her slender, sweet, iron self in this room. Nearly two years he’d lived in this condo, day in and out, and after one glance of her here, the place seemed permanently cold, empty and ghost-filled.
His apartment bell rang, inducing a burst of adrenaline he immediately tried to suppress. He’d been tempted to call Krista at least fifty times in the last eight days, but what could he say that he hadn’t already said?
I love you? He was shaking his head already on his way to the door. He wasn’t tough enough to take that kind of rejection.
He hit the intercom button, trying not to hope. “Hello?”
“Seth, it’s Aimee. I want to talk to you.”
Aimee. What the hell was she doing here? She hadn’t set foot in the place since the week after he’d moved in. He only saw her on the rare occasions his father had them both over for dinner. “Is Dad okay?”
“Yes. This is about me.”
Seth snorted. Big surprise. He buzzed her in, wearily apprehensive. What this time? She’d landed her own reality TV show, Aimee Squawks? She was planning a run for the presidency? She’d decided she was lesbian? Whatever she had to tell him, undoubtedly he’d rather not know.
The elevator doors opened into his foyer and she bounced out and into his living room, bringing fresh heavily perfumed air in with her, bright dark eyes surrounded by too much makeup, dark hair streaked with something glittery gold.
All I Want… Page 18
