by M. Garzon
“Jaden Foster, are you telling me that you would write off a friendship over one mistake?” I asked him severely.
It was his turn to look surprised. “Téa, what she did-”
“Was not such a big deal,” I interrupted firmly. “She gave me what I asked for, and was very kind about it, too. Not everyone’s going to be as overprotective as you are.” Thank God for that.
He met my eyes for an instant, the conflict in his plain to see. I was suddenly, inordinately touched that his concern for me was so great that he would create a rift with his old friend. Touched, and guilt-ridden.
“Please,” My voice was gentle this time, and warm from the dangerous emotions pulsing through me. “I feel so bad about coming between you. It was my doing, Jaden. Forgive her.”
He gazed at me, long enough that I began to worry about the road, and the frustration on his face was gradually replaced by a lopsided smile. He reached over and squeezed my hand; my heart faltered, then drummed loudly inside my chest. I had to look away from him.
“All right,” he agreed quietly.
We spent the rest of the drive in comfortable silence. Even though he released my hand after a few seconds, my skin continued to tingle for a long time.
* * *
After a bit of grumbling from Dec — and some threats of dire consequences if my grades didn’t improve — it was agreed that I could play in another practice match the following Saturday. I’d be playing in two chukkers, the first and the last, so Schweppes wouldn’t get too tired. Jennalyn was in the barn getting Jaden’s horses ready, and as she worked she gave me the scoop on people at the club. I liked her version as she provided details Jaden didn’t.
“No one likes Davis because he thinks his money will buy him acceptance,” she confided. “He’s obnoxious, he cheats, and on top of that he can’t play. And Jaden thinks he treats his horses like machines.”
I nodded. I’d heard that complaint from Jaden. “What’s the deal with Jaden and Mateo?”
Jen hesitated. “I’m not sure,” she hedged, but I could tell she knew. “Mateo was a pro at the Toronto club last year. They seemed to get along fine at the beginning of the season, but by the end, they were barely civil toward each other.”
I wondered at the intrigue as I rode onto the field for the final chukker. Whatever the feud was about, Mateo’s dislike for Jaden apparently extended to me. He had never spoken to me. He was riding his own horse, a gorgeous bay Thoroughbred named Belita; I’d heard she was fantastic. I didn’t get a chance to watch her, though, because as usual once play commenced everything happened so fast I could barely follow it.
A yell made me look up. Belita was streaking down the field, her graceful long legs a blur of movement against the emerald grass. Davis cut in front of me and galloped straight toward Belita, trying to steal the ball, I thought. I slowed Schweppes to a canter as I watched Davis’s mallet go up, so we’d be ready to shoot off in a new direction. It was only at the last second that I realized something was amiss — the angle of Davis’s mallet was wrong. I watched with horror as it swung into Belita’s legs with a sickening thud.
I felt a split second of cold shock. Then everything was red. Red blood roared in my ears and a red haze covered my eyes as I shrieked and rocketed down the field. I wasn’t aware of having asked Schweppes to gallop, but he knew what I wanted, and he must have called on his Quarter Horse blood because I felt a sudden burst in his already fiery pace. I dropped my mallet; I wouldn’t need it for this. We had almost caught up to Davis’s chestnut gelding. I kicked out of my stirrups and as I drew level I used the pommel of my saddle as leverage to yank my feet up. Davis’s horse was bigger than Schweppes, I needed the extra height. I crouched for a nanosecond, my feet on the seat, then launched myself at Davis with all of my might.
My mid-air tackle worked perfectly — I knocked him sideways out of his saddle and he was still floppy with surprise as I crashed on top of him with a satisfying whump. I rolled off him, onto my knees in the damp grass, breathing hard. Davis didn’t move, and I had just become aware that I was shaking violently when Jaden galloped up. He leaped out of the saddle before Kermit had even stopped, landed agilely and took two running steps toward me.
“Téa!” His voice was wild; he was panting.
I looked up at him, suddenly apprehensive. The reality of what I’d done was just starting to sink in. Sure enough, as I watched, the frantic expression on his face hardened into one of cold fury.
“What the hell was that?” He bit off each word distinctly. His voice wasn’t loud, but the ferocity of his tone was enough to make me cringe back.
To my relief, Davis chose that moment to groan and roll over, and seconds later his teammates converged on us. There seemed to be a lot of yelling, some of it in Jaden’s voice, but I didn’t pay attention. I was still on my knees, bracing myself on the grass with my hands and trembling with reaction. I kept my head down until the voices and hoofbeats faded away. My shivering was under control now — the adrenaline must have been used up.
“Get up.” The words were forced from between Jaden’s clenched teeth.
I hazarded a nervous glance up at him. He was towering over me, his entire frame quivering with what I could only assume was rage. I noticed with mild surprise that, for the first time I could remember, he didn’t have a hand extended to help me... maybe because both of those hands were tightly clenched into fists, the skin white over the knuckles. I scrambled to my feet, feeling the dull throbbing in my head that was the aftermath of my own rage. I didn’t want to meet his eyes, but I could feel them burning into me.
“Get off the field and wait for me.” The whole sentence was a growl.
I fled without looking at him. To my relief, I spotted Dan leading Schweppes my way.
“Now that was the most incredible piece of riding I’ve seen in a long time.” He laughed as he handed over the reins. “You should consider a career as a stunt rider.”
Schweppes nudged me in the stomach happily.
“Yes, you were wonderful,” I praised him, stroking his golden neck. “Thanks,” I added to Dan. I tried to return his smile, but my nerves with still jangling. He indicated Jaden with his thumb and looked at me sympathetically.
“He’s giving you grief?”
I nodded glumly.
“Well, don’t take it to heart. The rest of us thought that rocked.”
He held his hand up for a high five, and I slapped it before trudging over to the stable area. Despite Dan’s encouraging words, I didn’t feel much better. ‘Don’t take it to heart’ was a phrase that simply couldn’t apply with regards to Jaden; everything he did affected my heart. That was the problem — I couldn’t seem to build adequate defenses against him. For every brick I mortared onto the wall, he somehow took two down.
When I reached the barns I saw Mateo and Belita outside and hurried over to check on her.
“How is she?” I inquired anxiously.
Mateo was icing Belita’s leg just above the knee while his groom, Sharleen, held the lead rope and fed Belita carrots. He rose and gave me an inscrutable look.
“She will be okay. He did not hit the knee, that...” he called Davis a few choice names and I grinned. Suddenly he grinned back; his teeth flashed brightly against his dark skin and his eyes crinkled up at the corners. I felt a shock of surprise that I had never noticed how good-looking Mateo was, but then, I only seemed to notice one man these days. One who certainly didn’t notice me, at least not in that sense.
“Thank you, muñequita,” Mateo said warmly. “You are small as a kitten but brave as a tiger.” He grasped my shoulders and kissed me on both cheeks. I beamed, happy at his sudden approval.
“Mateo,” a familiar voice snarled.
I dropped my gaze quickly.
“The chukker is over. How’s Belita?” Jaden sounded less angry now, the words barely clipped.
“Okay, I think. The vet is on her way.” I felt Mateo’s eyes on me. I was sure my posture
betrayed my trepidation. “Don’t be too hard on our little tiger.”
I was oddly touched that he was looking out for me. It made me feel, for the first time, like part of a team. A team whose captain was snarling again.
“That’s my business, Mateo. Téa, let’s go.”
I tightened Schweppes’ girth and mounted, my heart accelerating. We headed for the trail home. I was braced for the onslaught of Jaden’s wrath, but he didn’t say a word, and I fell in behind him, not wanting to feel his furious glower at my back. We had gone about halfway — fifteen minutes or so — when the silent treatment started to wear on me.
“Jaden,” I began tentatively.
“Hush.” It wasn’t quite a snap.
I resigned myself to a quiet ride and passed the time replaying my impulsive act of revenge in my mind. In retrospect, it seemed far more daring than it had felt at the time; I’m sure I wouldn’t have done it if I’d stopped to think it through. My left cheekbone was throbbing — it felt a bit swollen, I seemed to remember it hitting Davis’ helmet — and my right elbow was skinned, but other than that I was remarkably unscathed. I started to feel a bit irritated with Jaden for overreacting.
We were almost home when he wheeled Kermit to face me and rode up so we were knee to knee. His fury had cooled, but his eyes glinted with steel and his jaw was tight. It was hard not to look away.
“If you ever do anything even remotely like that again, you will be banned from the club, and I will never coach you again. Is that clear?”
I blinked in surprise and tried not to show how much those words hurt. I knew he was angry, but I hadn’t known that anything could make him mad enough not to teach me anymore. I nodded mutely, keeping my face carefully composed.
We made our way to the barn in silence. I took my time cleaning Schweppes up, and after checking his legs carefully I rubbed them with liniment. I was starting to feel like I could use a rubdown myself; various aches and pains were beginning to emerge from my tumble. Lucky I’d had Davis as a pillow, I thought to myself with a smile. The smile faded fast, though. The more I thought about Jaden’s reaction, the more irritated I got. Not only was he blowing this whole thing out of proportion — our teammates’ responses were proof of that — but to threaten never to teach me again? That was downright petty. And mean. If I were being truthful with myself, I might have admitted that I was mostly angry that he had the power to hurt me so easily. I decided truthfulness was overrated.
After getting Schweppes comfortable I went and hid in my room, and waited as late as possible to go help with dinner. I sighed with relief when I walked into the kitchen and saw Jaden wasn’t there.
“Hey dude, how was the practice game?” Seth called over his shoulder.
It looked like we were having pasta — good, something simple and quick. I’d eat a few bites then make my escape. I started making a salad.
“It was... interesting. I’ll have to tell you later.” I gave him a significant look; Dec was just walking in. Seth’s face was bright with curiosity, but his brows drew together as he examined my face. I felt my cheekbone. It was definitely tender.
Jaden walked in right after we sat down. He took his usual spot across from me, but I didn’t look at him.
“How was practice?” Dec asked. “Is Téa coming along?”
Jaden didn’t answer. He was staring at his plate, his jaw clenched tight. Dec looked at me questioningly.
“Um, the game was cut short. Mateo’s mare was injured,” I explained.
“Oh, that’s too...” Dec trailed off, looking at me. “What happened to you?”
I could feel Seth’s eyes on me too.
“I, um, had a little spill,” I explained lightly. “It’s nothing.”
Which wasn’t really a lie. I kept my eyes carefully away from Jaden and prayed that he wouldn’t tell the truth. I was sure it would go over about as well with Dec as it had with him.
“Why, what happened?” Dec insisted.
It wasn’t surprising that he would ask. I really hadn’t been as cocky as Jaden thought when I said I didn’t come off. I rode a lot of horses, some of them very difficult, and aside from the tumble off Kermit, my last involuntary dismount had been almost two years ago. So it wasn’t surprising but it was inconvenient, because now I had to lie.
“Someone cut in front of us, and Schweppes had to swerve really fast.” I was trying to come up with a plausible scenario, but it was hard under pressure.
“I thought you were taking care of her?” Dec turned to frown at Jaden, and I made the mistake of following his gaze. Jaden was glaring at me through narrowed eyes.
“Taking care of her,” he spat, “would be a much easier task if she had any sense of self-preservation whatsoever.”
All the slowly building anger I’d been feeling toward him burst forth.
“It wasn’t about self-preservation! Did you even see what Davis did?” I was leaning across the table toward him, almost yelling.
“Hey! Easy, you two,” Dec admonished, glancing back and forth between our angry faces.
“Excuse me,” Jaden stood abruptly and stalked out.
Dec watched him go with a frown, then looked back at me. I wanted to excuse myself too, but I knew I wasn’t getting away that easily.
“Tell me what happened to your face, Téa.” Dec’s voice was quiet but grim.
My eyes flashed up, startled at his tone.
“I fell off.” I could hear the false note in my voice as I was caught by surprise.
“Téa. I haven’t seen Jaden this angry in a long time.” He was speaking slowly, watching me. “You two have obviously had some sort of fight again.”
I could feel the blank look on my face; I didn’t know where he was headed with this. He dropped his voice lower.
“Did... he didn’t hit you, did he?” I couldn’t remember ever seeing Dec look so nervous.
“What? No, of course not!” My shock was genuine. Dec looked relieved. “How could you even think that?”
I was upset on Jaden’s behalf — no matter how angry I was with him right now, I didn’t want people thinking that of him, thinking he’d be capable of hurting me.
“I had to check, kiddo. He, well, he has something of a history.”
My face went rigid with anger.
“You are underestimating him so much it’s insulting — he would never do that! He was madder today than I’ve ever seen him, and he didn’t touch me,” I growled. “I doubt that you would have shown as much restraint.”
Dec’s eyes flashed. I expected anger, but instead, for the first time, I saw hurt on his face. I instantly regretted my words; it was a low blow, and I knew it. Dec had really changed over the last few months, he was obviously working hard at improving our relationship, and I was quite sure that throwing the past in his face was not only unfair but unhelpful.
“Sorry,” I said meekly, ducking my head.
I was going to have to tell the truth, that much was obvious. More equivocation would only increase the tension at this point. I relayed the story quickly, making it sound as tame as possible. A fair bit of yelling later, I bolted to the barn. Seth, bless him, had volunteered to do the dishes so I could escape Dec’s considerable ire.
I went to check on Schweppes and petted him as he nosed through his hay. I suddenly felt such a fierce ache for Blaze that I sagged against the wall. I slid down it and sat in the corner next to Schweppes’ hay. He continued eating, nudging me occasionally. He was an angel in the barn now, there was no sign of his former aggression.
I was surprised when Jaden appeared. I thought he’d gone home. I didn’t look at his face, just watched his feet advance toward me.
“Don’t,” I said in a strangled voice.
The feet stopped. I hugged my knees and stared at the wood shavings. “I can’t take any more today.”
He sat right next to me. I could feel the heat from his body reaching my arm.
“I just came to offer you a shoulder to cry on, if
you want.” His voice was quiet.
I frowned at him. “No lecture tucked up your sleeve?”
He half-smiled; his eyes were warm again, and slightly... remorseful? That couldn’t be right.
“No. Just the shoulder.”
He slid his arm around my shoulders. My heart flew into a sprint, and I felt suddenly warm, and slightly dizzy. I hid my face in my knees; it was getting worse. Jaden had always been affectionate, but my response to his touch was getting more and more frenzied. I didn’t know what to do — obviously, I shouldn’t be feeling this way, but I couldn’t exactly avoid him. And even if I could, I didn’t want to. He was way too important a part of my life.
“About today,” he began. “I may have overreacted a bit.”
“Ya think?” I mumbled sarcastically into my knees.
He gave my shoulder a squeeze; my heart stuttered and I inhaled sharply.
“You nearly gave me a heart attack, Téa. I thought I was going to find your mangled body.” His voice was starting to sound clipped again. I tossed a dirty look his way.
“Hey, no lectures,” I reminded him.
He nodded, pressing his lips together. The sight of his mouth did strange things to my stomach. I averted my eyes again.
“Well, you’ll be happy to know I’m grounded. Again.” I didn’t even sound bitter, I was still too preoccupied by my body’s betrayal.
“Why?” He sounded shocked. “And why would I be happy about that?”
I turned my face to his, frowning. “I thought... well, don’t you think I deserve it?”
He didn’t answer the question. “How did Dec find out? I wasn’t going to tell him, Téa.” He looked upset, which confused me. And I wasn’t about to tell him the truth, obviously.
“I... well, it sort of slipped out. I wasn’t doing a good enough job fabricating, and I tripped myself up.”
“Kind of like now,” he said grimly, frowning at me.
