by Alana Khan
“Sanctu? You were performing sanctu? Please, Drayke. Don’t.”
“This needs to be done,” he says, his voice devoid of emotion. “It’s for the best, Sweet. We shouldn’t drag this out. I’ve made the decision to leave this plane of life.”
“I want to open the Three Gates with you,” I blurt. “I want to be your bonded mate.” At this moment there is nothing I want more than for him to live.
“No, you don’t. No more lies, Nova. Do you understand what you’re asking of me? To bond more deeply with you so that I can save Braxxus's life? At what cost? Don’t you understand how much my heart is breaking at this moment? Can you imagine how hard it was to place a knife to my breast so I could plunge it in? I was ready.”
I gently pull the knife from his grip, my eyes welling with tears. Placing my palms on his cheeks, I close my eyes and bite my upper lip.
“I want to open the Second Gate with you,” I whisper, then pierce him with a look full of so many unspoken words.
“No lies. Please.” He pulls his gaze away.
“I want to open the Second Gate with you. Not for Braxxus, but for me. My heart wants to be with you. My body wants to be with you. My thoughts and fears, they say no. Somehow I just hope…”
“You hope that magic will happen and you’ll see the error of your ways in the next two days and want to open the Third Gate with me and be bonded forever? Have the last two years as a slave taught you nothing Nova? There is no magic.”
“I’ve known you such a short time, Drayke. Give me two more days. Give us two more days. What do you have to lose?”
Drayke
It would be easier for me to commit sanctu now. Every modicum that slips by makes it that much harder for me. I was ready to go through with it a moment ago, but now she’s offering an iota of hope. Every additional moment I spend with her is a gift. She told me earlier that she’s selfish, well, I’m greedy. I want more time with her.
“Yes.”
“Yes, you’ll stay with me today? You’ll open the Second Gate with me tonight?” Her smile is genuine and full and lovely.
I simply nod, knowing I may be making the biggest mistake of my life. This won’t be any easier tomorrow.
Chapter Fourteen
Nova
I’ve been on an emotional rollercoaster all day. It’s been sad and terrifying to watch Drayke slip into insanity so quickly. He complains of problems with his vision, fatigue, weakness, tremors, and of course the insatiable urge to mate. But during the moments we’re talking, or playing his favorite game with flat marbles on a grid, he’s calm and sweet and delightful to be with.
The Second Gate has been looming in the back of my mind. I know firsthand how well endowed he is. I’m having trouble envisioning how everything’s going to fit. But I try not to dwell on it. Hell, he’s thinking about impending insanity and possible self-euthanasia, I’m certain I can handle a little pain. People elect to do this all the time. It couldn’t be that bad, right?
My mind avoids contemplating the larger issue, the life and death issue. The Third Gate is looming closer, and as much as I want to save Drayke’s life, the idea of forever—with anyone and for any reason—is something I can’t even imagine. You’d think seeing him poised to plunge a dagger into his heart would change my mind, but it didn’t. I wish it had.
As much as I want him to live, as much as I want us to nurture this divine connection we have with each other, I have fear in equal measure. I’m terrified of being forced to be with someone forever—against my will—it makes my stomach clench in protest.
He slipped out earlier, before his symptoms ramped up, and checked on Braxxus. He said the male is nowhere near ready for the second surgery. Well, all this is about giving the male one more day to improve.
“Pente, Nova. I win. Again. I don’t think you’re paying attention,” he chides.
I look down at the board and it takes me a moment to even see where he got his five marbles in a row. “Yes, you win. Again. You’d think I’d be catching on by now.”
He looks at me sweetly, so much compassion in his eyes. “What are you worried about?”
Really? The question is, what is there not to worry about. “How do you know I’m worried?”
“These two little lines, right here.” He reaches over and traces between my eyebrows.
I grab his hand and bring it to my mouth to kiss his palm. “I like spending time with you, Drayke.”
His jaw tightens, then his face turns to stone. I immediately see the error of my ways. It would take a saint not to throw this back in my face and ask why I’d rather have him dead than spend time with him. So, I guess he’s a saint, because he silently begins setting up the board for another game.
“Should we ask Maddie if she’ll bring us dinner?” I ask, hoping to end this awkward discussion.
He glances at the computer, set on clock mode. “She’ll be here shortly. I already commed her.”
~.~
Dinner was a quiet affair; both of us were in our own little worlds. At one point he asked if he could feed me, then shook his head and put his fork down. He’s in the shower now, taking his time, as close to a ritual bath as he can get. I’ve already taken mine and am sitting stiffly on the bed in the last of his clean, white shirts.
I glance up to see him standing in the doorway of the bathroom. He’s stark naked, toweling his hair. The light behind him is brighter than the dim lights in the bedroom, so I can’t see much more than his silhouette. I just drink in the sight of him. Wide muscled shoulders, narrow waist, powerful thighs. When he turns slightly I notice the curve of his ass and the thick erection jutting from his hips. He’s in shadow. I wish I could see all that luscious blue skin.
He stalks toward me, tosses his towel on the floor and tells the computer to turn off the lights. I feel his weight on the bed in the complete darkness. Then nothing. No movement, no touch, I don’t even hear his breathing.
“I don’t know how to do this, Nova,” his voice is rough, thick with emotion. “I don’t know how to touch you when you don’t want to be touched. I can’t do this because it’s basically against your will. I would rather die than do that.”
“It’s not against my will, Drayke.” My voice sounds soft, without conviction, even to my own ears.
“All day you’ve been acting like you’re on your way to the execution chamber. I don’t want any part of that.”
I reach out to touch him and my fingers find his rigid back. “I’ve been worried about you all day. To be honest, I’ve also been worried about how you’re going to fit...in me.”
“It will work out, Sweet. Couples have been doing this since the beginning of time.”
“Dacian couples, Drayke…”
“All you have to do is say ‘stop’ and I will. Unless it’s preceded by the word ‘don’t’.”
“Very funny.” I appreciate his attempt to lighten the mood.
“I need to hear it, Nova. I need to hear you want to go forward. Just tell me you don’t want to do this and I’ll understand. You don’t have to open the Second Gate with me,” his voice is cracking; my heart is breaking.
I grab a deep breath and find the part of me that desperately wants to connect with Drayke, to keep the attachment. “The word is yes, Drayke. You’re right, couples have been doing this forever.”
His weight lifts off the bed, then I hear his knees softly hit the floor. Offering his ritual prayer, he whispers; there’s no need for me to hear the private thoughts between him and his God.
“Computer, lights on dim,” he instructs.
He’s standing and just looking at me.
“Take your shirt off. Slowly. One button at a time.”
I kneel on the bed and spear him with my sexiest smile, then comply.
He’s drinking me in, devouring me with his gaze. His cock pulses in response to what he sees, and then his face lights up in a smile so wide and brilliant it takes my breath away.
“You’re beautiful
, Nova. Perfect. Computer, lights off.”
He climbs on the bed and lays me on my good side—he’s a male on a mission. He strokes my hair, slides his hands down my back, and grabs my ass pulling it toward his hips. Lifting my right leg, he rests it on his hip, then nestles his cock in the space between my legs.
He combs his fingers through my hair, then pulls my lips to his. His tongue invades my mouth. I’ve never experienced him like this, almost on attack mode.
His fingers pluck my nipples until he hears me gasp in pleasure, then he dips his mouth and scrapes the tips. I move my knee off his hip and place it on top of my other leg, trapping his cock between my damp folds.
I’m already in a haze of lust and begin to ride his cock, which is torching fire to all the right spots.
“I’m going to make you come, Nova. You’re going to come until you can’t bear it anymore. Until you scream my name. Shall we start now?”
I’m so aroused I have no complaints as he turns me on my back and moves between my legs. His broad shoulders nudge my thighs open wide as his mouth finds my clit in one easy movement.
And he does just what he promised. He gives me so many orgasms I lose count. His mouth and fingers working their magic over and over until I wonder if I’ll ever recover. He was wrong on one thing, though, he didn’t pleasure me until I screamed his name. He pleasured me many, many times after that.
My muscles are limp, my eyes half-lidded. Satiated, that’s the word. I could go to sleep right now, except for the Second Gate. We’re on our sides, facing each other. I place one hand behind his head and pull him to me, kissing him, biting his full lips. He tastes of me, my juices still clinging to his mouth.
He growls, low, in the back of his throat. His cock is hard as granite, pressing into my belly. I’ve come dozens of times, he must be ready to explode. Perhaps I’m slow on the uptake, but I realize he's waiting for me to signal my readiness. He knows my fear. Even in his lust and hormone-induced state of near-insanity, he doesn’t want to push me.
“The Second Gate, Drayke. Open the Second Gate.”
He flips me over and positions me on my shoulders and knees. My right arm could never bear my weight. In this position, I’m completely open to him. Leaning over my back, his sweat-dampened skin is pressed to mine.
Dr. Drayke Sun Omron
Nova. Open for me. Smells so good. Don’t want to hurt her. Must have her. Second Gate. Don’t hurt her.
Nova
He’s biting my neck, then scraping my shoulder with his teeth. He hasn’t said a word in long minutes. He’s panting with need.
He dips a finger inside me, drenches himself in my juices, then touches my puckered gate. He does this again, making sure I’m wet and ready, then gently enters me with one finger. I focus on this moment, just Drayke and me. When I push my fear out of the way and just pay attention to my nerve endings, I find...pleasure.
I let go, and sink into the thrill, turning off any old prohibitions or worries in my head. It feels good, sensitive, full. A second finger. A pinch of what? Not pain, just pressure, adjustment.
Drayke thrusts gently for long moments. I’m more relaxed, more receptive. My bottom reaches back to get more of him, to feel more of this.
“Okay?” He asks, his voice guttural, breathy.
“Yes,” I answer. I know what he needs to hear. “Open the Second Gate, Drayke. This is what I want.”
His weight shifts and he reaches around to kiss me on the lips. I turn my head toward him, wanting this connection, this endearment.
His blunt head nudges my entrance, his hands grip my hip bones, providing him leverage. He presses into me, almost imperceptibly, then waits. The pause is too long to be accidental. Slowly it dawns on me that he wants me to take control of this.
“Don’t want to hurt,” he says in that warm, deep voice.
I press back in little increments. I push back and wait a moment, then pull forward and lean back a bit more. I’m impaling myself on him in tiny steps. The progress is so slow, it doesn’t hurt at all. Each thrust backward feels better. I focus on the fullness, the complete trust, the intimacy.
His chest covers my back. There isn’t an inch of air between us. He nips my shoulder. This doesn’t feel bad. No, this feels good. I’m surprised when I drive back and his hips press against my ass. He’s all the way inside me. I’m stretched around him. It’s foreign and unusual and delicious at the same time.
“It doesn’t hurt,” I tell him, intuiting he needs to hear this from me.
That’s all he requires. It’s as if something is unleashed inside him. He leans up, pulling his warm, blue skin away from me, grabs my hips and sets up a delicious rhythm.
“Touch yourself,” he orders.
I’m so hot, pulsing with need. My body is humming with desire. I realize I’m moments away from my own orgasm. Touching myself in tempo with his movements, I’m aware of only two things: my pleasure and his. I’m close to my own release when he lets out a sharp guttural bark of pleasure. He spurts into me, then I hear a low moan of satisfaction as his hips continue to drive into my ass.
His obvious pleasure sparks my own release. My muscles clench around him in ecstasy which goes on for long, exquisite moments.
Then he pulls out and places me on my side, his chest to my back. We’re in a heap of skin and sweat and tangled hair. He tenderly wipes a strand away from my face. Nothing feels wrong or dirty. We were just doing what bodies do. Sharing in a way two people share. This feels so right.
“Nova. How are you?”
I flip over, wanting to face him even though I can’t see him in the total darkness. “Good, Drayke. Not good, great. That was great. I’m fine. How are you?”
“Computer, lights on dim,” is his answer. He smiles at me. That wonderful blue-eyed smile. His eyes aren’t quite back to the normal Drayke cobalt blue; they’re darker than that, still almost black with spent passion. But the smile!
He grabs the back of my head, as if he has to pin me there to keep me from running away, then kisses me. Hard kisses. Dozens of them.
I think of how wonderful this was, how relaxed I am. I’m about to fall lazily asleep when I realize this might be his last night alive.
Chapter Fifteen
Dr. Drayke sun Omrun
I woke up this morning curled around Nova, my arm slung across her waist. I don’t want to wake her by commanding the computer to turn on the lights, so I just lay with her awhile.
I think back to just a few weeks ago when I had been in misery over my life. I’d been tricked into working for the most dangerous cartel in the galaxy. I knew I would never see my family again because of the tremendous shame I would bring them. I hated myself for my cowardice and the extent of my participation in the forced breeding activities of the gladiators and human females aboard this ship.
I watched as almost everyone on the ship paired off with someone they connected with, cared about. I knew I would never have that. I mourned the loss of the promise of a bonded mate.
In this short period of time, I’ve found Nova. I’ve gone from half a male to one with a soul. I’ve found love, and passion. I still don’t understand her inability to love me back, or her fear of bonding to a male who would care for her passionately until the end of time. But she’s a free female and she can reject me if she wishes. I can’t control her.
I don’t understand why Lord God Anteros would shape Dacians in such a way that we could lose our lives due to an unrequited bond. But that is his will.
What I do know is that today is my last day in this lifetime. I will make it my best. I will do everything in my power to help Braxxus. I will try to help Nova forgive herself for her actions. This isn’t her fault.
I slip out of bed, take a shower, and pull on my loincloth and jumpsuit. I make a quick run to the dining area and make Nova a sandwich of bread and a spread Maddie calls “kindapeanutbutter.” I circle back to our room—it will be Nova’s room soon—and put it on the bedside table for when
she wakes.
When I get to medbay I’m surprised to find Axxios gone. He’s left Brianna in his place.
“Hi, Dr. Drayke.” She stands up quickly, as if I caught her doing something wrong. “Do you need me to leave?”
“No, Brianna, you’re fine. How’s our patient?”
“Axxios asked me to tell you Braxxus was moaning this morning.” As if to confirm this fact, a soft, guttural noise escapes the back of his throat.
I turn him gently on his side. “Feel free to sit down, Brianna. You’re fine where you are.”
I palpate near the site of the wound, feeling the extreme warmth through the plas-film. I shake my head and pronounce, “Not good.”
Despite all the antibiotics I’m pumping into him, he’s got an infection.
“Call Axxios and tell him I’m going to perform another procedure on his brother. It’s not the revision we discussed, but I’ll be entering the exterior portion of the wound and irrigating it with a phenolate solution to address the infection. It has analgesic properties to help allay the pain as well. He’s welcome to watch, but that isn’t necessary.”
While I’m gathering the solution and my instruments, Axxios comes bursting in. His eyes are wide in fright.
“What’s the matter, doc?”
“Don’t worry, Axxios. I should have warned you, this was to be expected. It’s just a few moments work to apply this compound. The revision will be the difficult procedure.”
“I was reading your message right as Brianna called me. Did you write me all those instructions because you were…?”
I glance over at Brianna who is smoothing Braxxus's hair and not paying attention to Axxios and me. I motion him into my lab.
“Nova and I opened the Second Gate last night. It seems I have a reprieve for today. But that is the last one, Axxios. I’ll perform this procedure, but there’s still far too much internal bleeding and bruising to do the revision he’ll need for a full recovery. I suggest you look at the star charts and find an appropriate planet to visit in the next day or two. Find one with skilled physicians who can oversee this procedure. I wrote you all those instructions, but I believe it should be done by a doctor. Braxxus should make a full recovery if he gets that surgery. You’re the pilot, make it happen.”
