Touchdown!
It was brilliant, really, and pure Danny. Sometimes I wonder if he’s not challenged enough, because when he really wants something, it’s like this light clicks on, and Wonder Boy comes out, and he goes into Can’t Be Stopped mode. In this mode, I have seen him make amazing plays. He’s a very talented quarterback and that would be a great play to put on his scout tape. Every college in the country would want him.
Okay, so I might be a bit biased, but a lot of colleges already do. Notre Dame, Nebraska, USC, Ohio State, and Oklahoma.
He verbally committed to play at Nebraska, but still has a couple more recruiting visits to make. I don’t think he’ll change his mind, though. He’s wanted to be a Husker since he was a little boy.
After the game, Danny, Phillip, and I come home early, as in way before curfew, to sit in the hot tub at my house. The boys stopped off at their houses to throw on their swimsuits. As I’m walking over to my house from Phillip’s, I realize there is noise coming from my back yard.
It’s music. 80s hair band ballads, I think.
Tragic.
Then I hear a man and a woman’s laughter.
I stop.
Oh.
I see that it’s dark in the back yard, and I know my parents probably aren’t expecting me home this early. I mean, it is a full hour and thirty-eight minutes before my curfew, and I am never early. I probably shouldn’t just barge in on them. I wouldn’t want them to barge in on me, but of course they would. And I am adult enough to understand that parents, you know, but it is just something I refuse to think about.
I mean, yuck.
Gross.
I reconsider going back there. I certainly don’t want to barge in on them and see something that could very well scar me for life. As I get a little closer, I realize that there are numerous voices laughing.
Whew, they’re not alone. I’ll just kick them all out of the back yard, so we can use the hot tub.
It’s late, they’re old, and it’s, like, so way past their bedtime.
Okay, so it’s not that late, and they’re not that old.
I decide it’s safe to go through the gate and am just opening it, when I catch a whiff of something. At first, I wonder if they have a fire going, but then I notice it has a sweet smell to it, like burning hay.
No way!
What I see when I bound through the gate is almost too freakish to describe. Our parents are all in our hot tub.
Naked.
There are empty Corona bottles scattered all over the edge of the hot tub.
Glass bottles, I might add.
Glass!
How many millions of times have I been told to never have glass by the hot tub because if a glass broke in the tub, you could never get it all out, and the whole thing would be ruined!
Obviously, these rules don’t apply to our parents.
Then I notice that Phillip’s dad, Mr. Mac, is taking a hit off a joint.
Ah. There it is.
They are all laughing at something and are apparently already half-baked. I’m practically standing in the water with them, and they still have not acknowledged my presence.
Hello?
Naked parents.
Pot.
Alcohol.
I may very well be traumatized by all of this.
Somebody wanna call a shrink?
Just as I am about to say something, Mr. Diamond stands up to grab another beer.
Yikes.
I close my eyes real quick. There’s no way I need to see this man naked. I don’t want to see him naked. But I peek anyway, cuz come on, he looks like Danny—All Grown Up. I open my eyes and see him standing there in all his glory.
In a swimsuit.
Dang!
I look a little closer and realize they are not naked after all. I can see some stringy things tied around Mom’s neck.
But still. Pot. They are so busted.
I jump onto the hot tub stairs and say, “So kids, this is what goes on when I’m not here. You are all so grounded.”
Mom chokes on her Corona. Phillip’s dad nearly swallows the joint. Everyone else, my father included, is giggling. My father laughs often, yes, but never giggles. They seem to think this is hysterical.
Okay, so I have to tell you, this is not exactly the picture I had in my mind of what my parents do to while away the time until I get home. I mean, sometimes I picture them sitting in matching rocking chairs, rocking and pacing, checking their watches with worry, counting down the seconds until I’m home safely.
Lately though, I picture them as wild referees with stopwatches and big whistles.
Last Saturday, I was coming in the door very quietly, not sneaking in, mind you, but just trying to be polite and not disturb them, when it’s like this huge prison spotlight comes glaring on me, and Dad jumps out of nowhere. He blows a referee’s whistle at me and a scoreboard buzzer goes off as he says, “Jadyn, you are twelve and half minutes late.”
“According to whom?” I ask politely. “My watch,” which I may have set back ten minutes or so, “says I’m right on time.”
“According to NASA, that’s who,” Dad says, pointing to the GPS, satellite-tracking watch thingy he has.
Anyway, it’s just that I don’t really picture them having a life without me. I mean, I know they get together with friends to watch movies or play cards. I can picture them chatting or killing time watching Storm Stories.
But certainly not smoking and boozing it up in my hot tub.
Okay, so it’s not really mine. I just like to think that it is.
Dad laughs and asks why I am home so early. “Fight with Brian?”
“No, Dad. It’s Friday night. Friend night, remember?”
“Oh, I do!” says Phillip’s mom, Julie. “I used to love girlfriend night. We would always go out and look for cute boys.”
I shake my head and figure I better say something quick, or we’ll all be launched on a full-scale trip down memory lane.
So I change the subject by saying, “I hope someone is going to tell me that you’re all suffering from glaucoma.”
The parents chuckle at this and apparently are not the least bit embarrassed about being caught by me with a joint. I can tell you that if the tables were turned, I’d be in big trouble.
And excuse me, but isn’t this illegal?
“The boys and I came home early, so we could sit in the hot tub.” I turn to look at Danny’s parents and say, “You know, your son took quite a beating out there tonight and is really sore.” I’m trying to make them feel guilty. “But I guess since it’s obviously occupied, we’ll just hang over at Danny’s.”
“What are you guys gonna do?” Dad asks me, more politely than normal.
I pause and think, what the hell, and then grab three Coronas and a lime from the cooler. Bold, I know, but what are they gonna do, stop me?
“Well, Dad, we’ll probably start with these beers, have a few shots, do a little x, have some wild sex. You know, the usual.” I give him a shit eating grin.
“Fine,” Dad says, rolling his eyes at me.
Everyone laughs. Um, well actually, everyone giggles.
What? You think I’m joking?
Sadly, I am. I am also a little irritated by this whole scene. I mean don’t you ever grow up? Shouldn’t I be the one out getting stoned and drunk with my friends?
Sadly, my parents’ social life far surpasses mine.
That thought is very pathetic and totally tragic.
I start to head to Danny’s, but turn back around and say, “And tomorrow, when you’re all sober,” I wave one of my fingers back and forth at them, while trying not to drop the beers, “I think we need to revisit the whole Just Say No concept.”
I run over to Danny’s house and bang on the back door with my elbow.
Phillip lets me in. Phillip and Danny are both standing there in just their swim trunks.
Damn.
It’s like walking into an Abercrombie ad. Did
I mention I love my life right now?
“We’re just grabbing some towels,” Phillip tells me.
I set the Coronas and lime on the kitchen island.
“Sweet,” says Phillip. “My parents left me a note that said they were over at your house. What’s going on over there?”
“Oh nothing much. They’re all in the hot tub. Naked, drunk, and baked,” I reply flatly.
“No way!” says Phillip, his eyes big.
“Okay, so they’re not naked, but at first I thought they were.” I smile, but the boys don’t seem as appalled by our parents’ behavior as I am, so I open the beers and grab a knife out of the drawer. I slice lime wedges, put one in each beer, and hand them to the boys.
“So, no hot tub?” Danny asks crabbily, as he takes a swig of beer. “Figures.”
“Let’s watch a movie then,” Phillip suggests, as he pulls a sweatshirt over his head. He turns to me with a sweet grin. “And you can make us some popcorn and nachos.”
As if I can’t turn him down when he grins at me.
Well, actually, I can’t.
“Let me guess, American Pie for the hundred-millionth time?” I ask, knowing full well what the answer will be.
I make snacks, and we head toward the family room. I notice that Danny is moving very slowly. He’s obviously sore, and he seems to be irritable. Unusual for him after a big game, especially a game he won practically single-handedly. I’d expect him to be flying high.
“What’s wrong with you?” I ask him. “You had such an incredible game. Why are you being such a crab?”
“It was a rough game,” he snarls at me, and then softer, “I’m just kind of sore, I guess.”
I plop down on the couch between the boys.
“Do you want me to rub your back?” I ask Danny nicely.
Lots of times after a game, we’ll watch movies, and I’ll rub Danny or Phillip’s shoulders. I doubt Phillip is at all sore. He’s Danny’s number one receiver, but he got double-teamed all night and only got open in the flats. (Close in to the line of scrimmage, not way down field like usual.) That’s why it was such a tough game. Most teams can’t shut down the Danny and Phillip combination, but tonight they did. Because they have played together so much, it’s like Danny always knows where Phillip is going to be, even before he gets there. They make some amazing plays together and have a lot of confidence in each other. It’s really pretty cool to watch.
About midway through the movie, I say something to Danny, and he snaps at me. “What?”
“Jeez, Danny, I just asked if you took some Advil.”
“No,” he says a little nicer.
“I’ll grab you some,” I say, and pat his forearm reassuringly.
He practically jumps off the couch when I touch his arm.
“What is wrong with you?” I yell.
“I’m just a little sore there!”
I squint my eyes at that boy. What’s going on?
“Danny, let me see your arm.”
He sighs madly, but gingerly holds it up for me.
I examine his forearm. No wonder he’s such a crab. His arm is quite swollen. So I touch it very gently, and crap, it feels hot to the touch.
This is not good.
And the skin is all shiny looking.
Just a little sore, my ass.
This arm is broken.
“Danny! No wonder you’re being such a butt. Your arm is broken.”
My screeching gets Phillip’s attention away from the TV, where a hot girl is taking off her shirt.
“Did it happen on that last play? When you stiff-armed that guy? His helmet hit your arm, didn’t it?” Phillip asks in rapid-fire succession.
“Um, yeah. I think so,” Danny mutters, then he turns to me and says, “It can’t be broken, Jay. Coach thought it was just bruised.”
“Yeah, well, I hate to tell you this, Danny, but he’s wrong.”
Next thing I know, I’m sprinting back over to my house. I bang through the gate and stand in front of the hot tub again.
Everyone stares at me like I’m spoiling their fun, and they wish I would leave.
I ignore that possibility and announce, “Hey guys, um, I think Danny broke his arm.”
I know that will at least get their attention.
“What?” they all say in alarmed unison.
Oh sure, now we’re all concerned.
“Not his throwing arm?” Danny’s dad asks.
God forbid!
And then Mr. Mac asks, “How?” before I can get a word in edgewise.
I answer them both. “No. It’s his left forearm, and it happened when he stiff-armed that guy in the fourth quarter right before he scored.”
Dad asks me, “Did they look at it in the locker room? Did Coach think it was broken?”
Coach is a great guy. He’s coached winning teams at Westown for years, and everyone respects him, but excuse me, is the man a doctor?
I think not.
“No. He thought it was just a deep bruise, but I don’t agree,” I say, shaking my head like I’m an expert.
I practically am, really.
“It’s hot to the touch, and the skin is all swollen and shiny. So either you’re gonna have to share some of your stash with him to get him through the night, or he needs to go and get an x-ray. And definitely some pain pills. The boy is very crabby.”
“Shit,” says Danny’s dad. “JJ, can you hand me the phone?” Then he announces, “I’m going to call Dr. Rohm and tell him to meet us at the hospital.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Chuck,” Mrs. Diamond says to her husband. Then she turns to me and says, “JJ, do you think you could take him? We weren’t planning on going anywhere tonight, and none of us,” she looks pointedly at Mr. D, “should be driving.”
Obviously.
So I say, “Yeah, we’ll take him.”
“Thanks, honey,” she replies. “His insurance card is in the cubby by the desk. He’s eighteen, so there shouldn’t be any problems. We’ll have Dr. Rohm meet you there.”
“Drive careful,” Mom tells me.
I think it’s ridiculous that they can’t take their son to the hospital, and no one is giving me any credit for caring enough about him to discover that his arm is broken. So I decide to point this out, just to let them know they all owe me big.
So I raise my arms in the air and say, “FYI everyone, just wanted to let you know that I’ve earned myself a Get Out of Jail Free card.”
“What do you mean?” Dad asks, eyeing me suspiciously.
I point at him and look him in the eye, so he knows I am serious. “I mean next time someone wants to ground me, I’m turning that card in.”
Phillip drives while Danny and I sit in the backseat. Danny’s head is resting on my shoulder, his sore arm’s lying across my lap, and I’m gently stroking his swollen fingers.
Yeah, I know.
Many, many girls would practically kill to be in my position.
And let’s face it. Even I am not immune to Danny’s charm.
But right now that’s like the last thing on my mind, because I know all too well what broken bones feel like. I’ve broken my right arm, my left wrist and three different fingers, while playing football with these boys. And I couldn’t even begin to count the numerous sprains, bruises, cuts and stitches. So instead of feeling slightly turned on, I just feel like I’m going to cry.
And that’s weird, because I didn’t even cry when I broke my own bones.
Oh, and FYI to all you doubters out there: Danny’s arm was indeed broken.
I was right!
I love it when that happens!
I’m sitting in my room, curled up on my window seat, reading a great book. I’m having a hard time putting it down, because I’m dying to find out if Madison will end up with Chase, and if they’ll be able to solve the mystery and return the stolen diamond before the Mafia hit man gets them. I only have a few chapters left, and although I want to peek at the ending, I co
uld never do that.
It would ruin a perfectly good story!
Just as I am getting to a really steamy part, where Chase accidentally walks in on Madison while she is in the shower . . .
Accidental, my ass.
My phone rings.
It’s Lisa. Dang it! She is so chatty. I may never get her off this phone! She is regaling me with the story of Christmas at her father’s crazy relatives’, and I am half listening, half reading, when a huge snowball splats on my window, scaring me to death and causing me to drop both my book and the phone. I bend down, pick up the phone, and put it back up to my ear just as another snowball hits my window.
“What was that?” Lisa cries in my ear.
“Sorry. I dropped you. Someone is throwing snowballs at my window. It scared the crap out of me.”
“Well, who is it?” she snaps impatiently.
I glance out and see Danny holding a football up in the air, grinning at me. Phillip has so many clothes on that he looks like the Michelin man.
“It’s Phillip and Danny. I think they want me to come play football with—”
“Strip football?” Lisa screeches, interrupting me. “I’m coming over. Now.”
I hear a click in my ear and know that she has hung up on me.
Kind of rude, don’t ya think?
But I will probably forgive her, because she has a huge crush on Danny and the idea of seeing him with no shirt on is almost too much for her to handle.
I think it’s hilarious.
I mean he’s just a guy. Okay, he’s a hot guy.
I open my window and yell to the boys, “Be right down.”
Strip football.
Sounds indecent, I know.
But we don’t strip, like, naked or anything.
Well, at least not completely.
Strip football is a game we created a few years ago. It is usually played on a sunny day, when there is snow on the ground. The rules are a bit sketchy at best, mostly because Danny and I tend to make them up as we go. The basic gist of it is if you mess up, like miss a well-thrown pass, get intercepted, fumble the ball, or miss an important tackle, you lose an article of clothing. Danny and I tend to argue. Okay, so we fight, during this game because what constitutes a bad play or pass is a bit of a gray area.
Kiss Kiss Page 136
