I follow his finger with my eyes and say, sadly, “Yeah. God, she really does have big boobs.”
Phillip looks at me sympathetically. “You know what? He’s not worth it. Let’s go, get you out of here. We’ll go get some ice cream, or pizza, or something.”
Like ice cream could fix this mess. Well, it can fix just about anything, hmm. You know, it might be worth a try.
No. I need to get to the bottom of this first. Plus, that wouldn’t be fair to Phillip. Even though he’s going to Prom with Carrie Sadler, I know he was hoping to hook up with Megan Masters tonight.
“Phillip, let me be clear about this. I’m not going anywhere until I talk to Jake.”
I think.
“Why would you do that?” Phillip asks me, like it’s the stupidest thing he’s ever heard in his entire life.
“Because I think I deserve to know what the hell’s going on. Don’t I? Wouldn’t you want to know?”
“What do you want? Some big confrontation? You screaming, or crying, or making a fool of yourself, while he sits there with that shit-eating grin of his, ogling his big-boobed date? Who, I might add, has the reputation of being the biggest slut in the whole frickin’ county.”
I throw my full cup of beer down on the ground in frustration, stomp my foot, and say, “No! That is not what I want.”
Shit.
I need to think.
“I’m gonna go for a walk, Phillip,” I tell him, as he walks over to pick up my cup. He could never litter.
“Good, let’s go,” he says, following me.
“I thought you wanted to hang out with Megan tonight? And it’s not fair for me to mess up your plans just because my boyfriend is a jerk. Well, ex-boyfriend, I guess.”
Phillip grabs my hands again and says in that smooth adorable voice of his, “Princess, there’s no one I’d rather hang out with more than you. You know that.”
I look at him and feel warm inside. He really is the sweetest friend.
And I really don’t know how to deal with all of this, so I’m not even sure what I should tell him.
I need to think.
“Um, I’m just gonna walk out to Lisa’s car, grab my lip-gloss, and think about this.”
Phillip looks at me like he’s not sure he believes me.
“Just give me fifteen minutes. If I’m not back, you can charge out on your horse and rescue me.”
I stop and give Phillip a hug. “I love you, Phillip. You’ll always be my best friend. And you must be a very good friend if you are willing to choose hanging out with me over getting laid. Especially when we know I’m going to do nothing but sob and complain about my stupid, cheating boyfriend. So I just, I, um, I appreciate it, okay?” I back up and punch his shoulder lightly. “I’m just shocked and need to figure out what to do. I promise. I’ll be back and hopefully when I come back, I will have some sort of a plan. Just don’t go killing anybody yet, okay?”
He nods.
I kind of lower my head and look at the ground, scuffing the dirt with Mom’s strappy sandals because I’m not so good at this part. You know, the admitting-I-might-have-been-wrong part.
“Thanks for telling me. I’m glad I didn’t go charging over there.”
So I start walking to the car.
In my mind are a bazillion questions.
How could I have been so stupid? Has he been cheating on me the whole time? Some of the time?
What am I going to do? To say?
How could Jake do this to me?
What an asshole.
Okay, Jadyn James Reynolds, pull yourself together.
What’s your plan?
Shit, my plan so far is . . .
Get to Lisa’s car.
Have a big, quiet temper tantrum.
Maybe scream silently and cry my eyes out, somehow without messing up my mascara.
Darn! I knew I should have worn the waterproof kind.
Then I will put on some stupid lip gloss and go back into the party. I may even confront Jake. I will hold my head up high and stand up straight and tall. Grandpa used to tell me to do that. Walk into the place like you own it, JJ, and people will think that you do. Of course he also said, If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit. Which I have to admit, I am kind of good at. People tend to underestimate blondes. They just naturally think we are dumb, and, well, on occasion, I may have used that to my advantage.
But back to Jake.
Can I convince him that the slut doesn’t bother me?
Can I walk in there like I own the place?
I can’t let him know he’s upset me, that’s for sure!
I’m almost back to the entrance and am about to walk past Gary and Larry, when I see three guys heading our way.
I’d know that strut anywhere.
What to my wondrous eyes should appear?
Danny!
I can’t believe it! He’s here! As a quarterback, he’s known for his perfect timing, and I’m so glad it has spilled over into my life. His timing couldn’t be perfecter. Because he’s just the guy I need to see tonight. Hanging out with Danny is practically therapeutic. I get so wrapped up having fun, competing, or conspiring with him, that I forget about everything else. I think I may need that tonight! And the fact that he brought a couple of hot friends? I mean, it’s pretty much a given that it doesn’t go unnoticed by me.
So, I try to forget about Jake and Boobs and remind myself that I look damn good tonight.
If Jake can enjoy himself, I think, well, maybe I can too.
Two can play that game, right?
Maybe one of Danny’s friends will think I’m cute. Maybe I can make Jake jealous.
Do I want to make Jake jealous?
Yes.
Do I want to make him apologize and beg me for forgiveness?
Yes.
Will I take him back if he asks?
Absolutely not.
Hmm.
I’m almost sure of that.
I walk up next to Gary and Larry, who stare at me with concern. I don’t say anything to them. I just raise my arms high in the air and yell loudly. “So what? You’ve had enough of hot coeds and wild fraternity parties and just wanted to drink from a keg in a cornfield?”
Danny hears me and starts running toward me at full speed. I’m afraid for a moment that he’s going to tackle me, but he stops on a dime in front of me and pulls me into a big bear hug.
Then he pushes me out to arm’s length, looks me up and down, and says, “Jay. Damn! You look . . . hot? ”
He says it in a way that is half statement and half question. Like looking hot is unusual for me.
Okay, so it is.
“What, are you drunk already? Danny, I know spring practice is over, but…”
“Sexy as hell, actually,” Danny interrupts, nodding his head and grinning lasciviously at me, finally deciding that I indeed look good.
Wow. Maybe Lisa is right. Maybe I should dress this way more often.
“This is John and Michael,” Danny says, introducing me to his hot, muscular friends. “John, Michael, this is Jay. I don’t think you’ve ever met.”
Did I mention that John is quite cute?
“This is Jay?” John says. “Wow. The way you talked, I thought Jay was a dude.”
“Definitely not, boys,” Danny grins, his eyes running lazily up and down my body. “Definitely not.”
Hey, stop that! You’re making me nervous.
“Where’s Jake, anyway? I’m surprised that with you looking like that,” and he looks me up and down, again! “he’s not attached to your hip.”
Before I can answer, Danny turns to Gary and Larry, gives them high fives and slaps on the back. “How the hell are my two favorite linemen?”
The twins grin proudly.
Crap. Skip the part about picking up one of the friends and trying to make Jake jealous.
I can’t do this.
Can there be quicksand in a cornfield?
I didn
’t think it was ecologically possible, but I’m pretty sure I’m sinking into some right now.
No, JJ, you’re just losing your mind. No biggie.
Well, that’s reassuring.
I’ve got to get out of here.
So, I announce to no one in particular, “Jake and I broke up.”
“Sweet. When? Why didn’t you call me, Jay?” Danny smiles and turns back toward me.
“Tonight, apparently, when he brought some other girl to the party.”
Danny’s face has questions written all over it.
Questions I’m not prepared to answer quite yet.
And do I really want to tell Danny my humiliating story in front of two hot guys?
Uh, no.
“Um. The Ringling Brothers here,” I say with a nod toward Gary and Larry, “can give you all the gory details. I gotta go.”
And I just walk away. I must be more upset than I realized because I just walked away from two college hotties.
But yeah, I actually did it. Just walked away.
You’d think Lisa’s car was my salvation. I just need to keep it together until I get there.
God, this sucks.
First, I was confused about whether to do it with Jake, then I finally make the decision, and he does this.
I officially need to give up on him.
Granted, I probably should have a long time ago, but God, what am I gonna do now?
What am I gonna do every Saturday night? Who will I talk to before I go to bed?
Oh, well, yeah, still Phillip, but I mean before that?
All right. Decision time.
What am I going to do?
I need options.
Okay.
Option One.
Go in there, make a scene, punch him in the face, and tell him off. Phillip would like that option—well, except for the fact that he wants to be the one to punch Jake. Either would probably make me feel good, but unfortunately, sometimes when I get mad, I start crying. And if I cry, Jake will think he hurt me, and I can’t have that.
Option Two.
Ignore him, like he is of no interest to me. Then wait and see what he does.
Hmmm.
Maybe?
Option Three.
Listen to Phillip, call it a night, and go home.
Shit.
All options suck!
Okay.
Here’s what I’ll do. I’ll hang out with my friends and completely ignore Jake. I’ll act like I’m having a good time and see if he comes and talks to me.
I’ll listen to my friends bash Jake, maybe get good and drunk, then go home and cry on Phillip’s shoulder, as usual.
The walk to the car is difficult, because it’s pretty dark now and hard to see the ground.
I’m trying to walk sexy, but nonchalant, you know, in case there are any college boys looking my way, while thinking about Jake at the same time. But when you walk in a cornfield, you really do have to focus on where you are going, especially in four-inch heels, or you will trip on a clod of dirt or an old, dried up cornstalk and fall flat on your face.
Finally, I make it to the car.
Now what?
I am cold. I am mad and sad and hurt and embarrassed. I feel stupid. I am mad and . . .
Is that normal?
Can anyone normal feel this many emotions all at once?
And here’s the big question.
Reality Check Point.
Am I upset because I loved Jake or because he dumped me?
Shit. Think, JJ!
Danny’s voice calls out to me. I turn around and see him jogging over, noticing he hasn’t once looked at the ground.
Figures.
I lean my back up against the car and take a deep cleansing breath. You’re gonna have to keep it together a little while longer, I tell myself.
Danny strides up to me. “Hey, don’t leave. Jake’s a dick, he’s always been a dick, and he will always be a dick. You should be glad you’re rid of him.”
“Gee, thanks. I think I know that now.”
“Just be done with him for good this time, okay? He doesn’t deserve you.” He studies my face. “You okay?”
“Yeah, I think so.” Then I whine, “Could he not have had the decency to a least break up with me first? And did he have to pick a total slut to rub my face in it? Why would he do this to me?”
But in my mind, I think I already know the answer.
Simple, really.
Because I wouldn’t do it with him.
Cuz, I mean, seriously, what girl in this day and age would make a guy wait that long? What is wrong with me?
Danny looks grimly at me. “The twins told me who he brought to the party. I’m assuming you guys still haven’t done it.”
Excuse me! I know we are friends and all, but do we really need to discuss this?
This is my virginity here. I should have a little privacy, I think.
But I sigh and say, “No, not yet.”
I sigh again and realize that at least I can talk to Danny about this stuff better than I can with Phillip. Danny listens.
Hell, Danny is willing to teach when necessary.
Phillip, on the other hand, got upset with me for even considering doing it with Jake.
“Oh, Danny,” I say, taking a big breath and darn it, if everything I’ve been thinking doesn’t just come rushing out of my mouth.
All in one big jumble.
“We haven’t yet, but he has been bugging me about it so much. Every time we go out, it ends in a fight because I say no, and he gets pissed. So of course, I’m constantly thinking about it, and I finally decide, hell, why not do it? Why keep waiting? So guess what, Danny? I decided tonight was the night, and I tried to dress hot, and I’ve got on the greatest underwear, and I’m all mentally prepared, and WHAT?” I say, my hands flying out in front of me. “He shows up with some imported girl, and no one can even tell me what she looks like because they can’t seem to get any further than her boobs and her thong, which I’m also wearing by the way, but I wouldn’t let it hang out like that, and the whole reason I didn’t do it with him in the first place is because he never made me feel like I wanted to. I mean, come on, Danny, aren’t guys supposed to do something to a girl that makes her want to? I mean, I kind of thought maybe it was just Jake or something, but since he’s obviously doing Miss Teen Boobage, he must be fine, and it’s probably just me.”
I take a big gulp of air, slump up against the car, and look up at the star-filled sky.
Shit.
I can’t believe I just said all that.
Danny moves in a little closer to me. Then he smiles and shakes his head. He’s got a bright, contagious smile. Usually when I see it, I can’t help but smile back at the boy. But not tonight.
He moves in a little closer.
A lot closer, actually.
I’m about to say something else, but as I open my mouth to speak, he puts a finger up to my lips to shush me and says, “Jay,” in the sexiest way.
Then he kisses me.
And Oh. My. God.
The boy can kiss.
He can so kiss.
I had almost forgotten how good he could kiss. I swear, I can feel it all the way down to my toes and in some other very interesting places in between. And I think I get it. God, I could let him kiss me forever, and I’m pretty sure I would let him do just about anything else.
I never, ever felt like this with Jake. Maybe that’s why I’ve been holding back.
Then, damn it, he stops, and thinking out loud, I say, “Well doesn’t that just suck?”
“Huh?”
“Oh. Sorry. Not you—you’re great, Danny. I just realized I’ve probably wasted a year of my life on an idiot who is a really bad kisser!”
And then, with a gasp of realization, I throw my hand up over my mouth and say, “Oh God, did it rub off on me? Have I become a terrible kisser too?”
Like I need something else to worry about.
Danny w
raps strong arms around me. Did I mention that all of a sudden, he now looks, well, like a Man?
Wow! When did that happen, and why did I not notice it before?
He’s grown up.
A lot.
He pulls me back in close. “Well, I can’t be sure,” he laughs. “The line judge didn’t have a clear view, the side judge over there was watching the cheerleaders, and since there’s no instant replay available,” he shrugs his shoulders and tilts his head, “I’m just gonna have to call a do over.”
Real original, Mr. Smooth, but I like it.
“You’re a cheater,” I say.
“Better than being a liar,” he fires back.
And then he kisses me again, except this time it’s even better because there are no thoughts in my mind about Jake.
I mean, Jake who?
Eventually, to my dismay, he stops kissing me. I bite the edge of my lip and say nervously, “So what’s the call?”
I get the kind of intense look that is usually reserved for a football.
“You kiss fine. Better than fine, actually. Uh, how ’bout we go get a drink?”
Uh, no. How about we just stay here and drown my sorrows in your kisses?
“Um, yeah. I need to get back in there anyway, before Phillip sends out the cavalry.”
“You know, Phillip and I really care about you. We hated you dating a guy like Jake. We’ve never had any proof, but I’m pretty sure this isn’t the first time he’s cheated on you.”
Figures.
I grab my lip gloss out of the car, put it in my pocket, and shut the door. I stop, grab the car handle and start to open the door, as I say aloud to myself, “I suppose I better grab my jacket.”
“You don’t need a jacket, Jay,” Danny says, taking my hand. “I’m pretty sure I can keep you warm.”
God, am I swooning?
I’m not exactly sure what swooning is, but I may very well be doing it.
He leads me back toward Frick and Frack, who I am sure have been watching everything.
Gary says to Danny, “You know, Big D, the shit’s gonna hit the fan if you do that,” and they both roll their eyes in the direction of the car, indicating that they, in fact, saw us kissing, “in there.” They lean their heads in the direction of the party.
“I’m pretty sure I don’t care what Jake thinks,” Danny states emphatically.
Kiss Kiss Page 141
