That kind of looks freaky.
He must be drunk to look so bad.
“I didn’t really feel like dancing with a crowd.”
I think Phiiiliiip is mad at me. Why would he be mad at me when we’re having so much fun?
I know what takes a guy’s mind off being mad. Kisses.
So I kiss him, but he pushes me off his lap, and stands up.
That’s weird.
“JJ, I’m not going to do this. You don’t want this or me. You made that painfully clear tonight. You didn’t even try.”
“I did try, Phiiiliiip! I was having a great time! You’re the one who left me.”
I’m getting mad because he is speaking to me in a very accusatory tone.
Like I did something wrong.
He’s the idiot who left me with two not-so-gay guys.
“Phillip, I don’t get it. You say you want to be with me, but you leave me? You say you want to dance with me, but what? All of a sudden, we can’t have fun and dance and party like we always do? It seems to me you haven’t made much of an effort. And then after I come find you and kiss you, you get all pissy with me. I don’t like it, Phiiiliiip. I thought you wanted to kiss me, Phiiiliiip.”
“I had a lot of fun with you today, JJ, but you totally blew it tonight. I thought that you wanted to be with me, only me.”
I look at both Phillips and say, “So that’s what this is all about? You’re on a jealous little rampage? Grow up, Phiiiliiip!”
Good-bye, Phiiiliiip.
I stumble away from him and run up the beach.
Why am I stumbling?
It must be these stupid sandals. They are giving me problems, and they must come off!
Now.
I sit in the sand, even though I’m getting my new dress all sandy. I take the stupid sandals off and throw them down the beach.
Phillip follows me, grabs each one of my sandals out of the sand, and says, “You’re picking a fight with me, JJ.”
What? Am I no longer Princess?
That’s three JJs in a row and no one is even around.
“I’m not going to fight with you,” he continues.
Doesn’t he know that I don’t want to fight with him either? In fact, I want to do the exact opposite of that tonight.
But I don’t tell him that because he’s being a jerk.
“Why? Might you have to show some e-mo-tion?” I yell.
I get up and try to brush the sand off of my dress. “I’m through with this,” I say.
“Yeah, well I’m through with it too. This is your fault. I understand you wanted to have fun, but you’re supposed to want to have fun with me, not other guys. You didn’t even try. In fact, I think you were purposely trying to push me away. I’m the one who gives up.” He throws his hands up in the air.
He’s very upset with me, I think.
And he’s fighting with me.
Didn’t he just tell me that he wasn’t going to fight with me?
Is he drunk?
“You ever decide you want to try this for real, you know where to find me. It’s your move,” he says, acting very crabby.
Then he walks away.
Hey! Wait! He’s not supposed to leave me. He’s supposed to kiss me!
I watch him walk further and further down the beach and notice that not once does he look back.
Oh, this is so not at all how I wanted this night to go.
I sit in the sand and sob.
Phillip comes back, either a few minutes or a few hours later. I’m really not sure.
I look up at him through mascara-filled tears.
“Come on, Princess,” he sighs, as he scoops me up off the sand and carries me to my room. “I’m not going to be able to sleep unless I know you’re safe.”
My God! What is that noise?
I think someone is slamming a sledgehammer against my door.
Why are they doing that?
I practically fall out of bed, and when I do, I am genuinely surprised to see that I’m still wearing my dress from last night. And it’s all freaking sandy. What the hell did I do in the sand?
Whew. I feel a little fuzzy, but I must make that noise stop.
I look through the peephole in my door and see Danny. I fling open the door, let him in, and crawl back into bed.
“Jeez, Jay, you look like shit,” he says in a booming voice.
It hurts my head.
“Why are you still wearing that dress? Oh wow, did you just get back from Phillip’s room?”
“Danny, could you please talk a little bit quieter?” I beg and bury my head under the sandy pillow.
“O-kay,” he says more quietly, quickly appraising the situation and taking charge. “Go wash your face and get dressed.” He looks at my dress and says, “As in, not the dress you wore last night. I’m taking you to breakfast. You need to eat, take some Advil,” he looks at me with real concern, “and I hate to say it, but you may even need a drink. We’ve got less than an hour to get you ready to meet Lori.”
Oh God. I feel awful, but I do as I’m told: drag my butt out of bed and go into the bathroom.
I wash my face, brush my teeth, and pull my hair back into a ponytail.
I have a sudden feeling of déjà vu. It’s all very blurry, but I vaguely remember being in here last night with someone. Was it Phillip?
Was someone throwing up?
Was it me?
I think it was, and I think Phillip helped me get here.
So why am I wearing my dress?
Why isn’t he here in bed with me?
I have a feeling that things didn’t go exactly as I had planned.
But wait, I remember!
I think he was mad at me.
Then I remember the not-so-gay guys and arguing with Phillip.
Me, crying on the beach.
Oh, not good.
The only good thing I remember is I’m pretty sure it was me who threw up last night.
That means I may actually survive this day.
I open the door to the bathroom and am startled.
Danny is standing right in the doorway with my yoga outfit in his hands.
I had forgotten he was here.
“Put this on,” he bosses.
I do, and after sliding my feet into a pair of flip flops, we head to breakfast.
Just my luck, when we get there, Phillip is there.
He shoves his remaining food into his mouth and says to Danny, “I gotta run. See you on the golf course at ten.”
He doesn’t say a word to me.
Didn’t even acknowledge my presence.
I frown.
Danny, who can’t help noticing the frigid climate between Phillip and me, asks, “What's up with you two?”
“Nothing,” I say, putting on my sunglasses.
Where is Manuel? Someone really needs to get him to turn down the sun out here.
It is way too bright. It’s making my head hurt.
“Stay here,” Danny orders, leaves, and comes back with a huge plate filled with all of my favorite things for breakfast.
None of it looks very appealing.
“Eat something, Jay. And drink some water.”
Shall I tell him that I’m not really in the mood to be bossed around? Probably not. It’s his wedding day; I should try to be nice.
So I pick up a triangle of toast and take a teeny bite.
Danny hands me a mimosa and commands, “You better drink this.”
Yuck.
“I can’t, Danny, I am so never drinking again.”
“Like I’ve never heard that before.”
Danny is teasing me. He seems to think this is hysterical.
Yeah, cuz it’s not him, for once.
So I go against my better judgment and do as he says. I drink the mimosa and am surprised that after a few sips, it’s not half bad.
But then Danny makes me feel sick again, when he asks slowly, “J-a-y, what did you do to Phillip?”
M
e?
“Nothing, Danny, I swear, absolutely nothing.”
He shakes his head in apparent understanding.
“Ah, well that’s the problem then.”
“Danny,” I cry, “the night was a flipping disaster.”
“Why?”
“It’s not my fault, Danny, really it isn’t. We were dancing and having a great time, and in my mind, I pictured us dancing, and then I was going to invite him back to my room. I had such great plans.”
“I’m proud of you. So what went wrong?”
“Well, then those cute guys that we killed in volleyball yesterday came over and started dancing with us.”
“I thought they were gay,” he interrupts.
“Me too, but they didn’t act like it last night,” I say, raising an eyebrow and shaking my head, even though it hurts to do so.
“Anyway, we were all dancing together, drinking, and having fun. And Phillip didn’t say a word. He just left me. I thought he had gone to the bathroom or something, and I kept waiting for him to come back, but he never did.”
Danny looks at me with a shrewd eye. “So you were dancing and drinking, and, knowing you, flirting with these guys, and you’re surprised that Phillip left you. What are you, stupid, Jay?”
Hey, that’s not very nice!
“No wonder he’s mad at you. It was supposed to be a date. You were supposed to be with him, not other guys. I’d be pissed at you too!” He gives me a disgusted look.
Hey, you were just complimenting me on my plan.
Traitor.
“I’m a flirt. You know it. Phillip knows it. It’s never bothered him before because he knows I’m harmless. Maybe he needs to loosen up.” I pause, thinking. “But honestly, Danny, even though he says it’s what he wants, I’m not convinced Phillip really wants this either. I mean, if he did, he wouldn’t have given up so easily.” I shake my head at Danny. “Regardless, now I give up.”
“Can you honestly tell me you gave it your best shot with him?” He looks at me with squinty looking eyes, and I have a sneaking suspicion he doesn’t believe that I did.
“Over the years, I’ve seen the many ways you can wrap a guy around your finger.” He rolls his eyes at me. “I should know. Phillip is not immune to you. I think that if you had really tried with Phillip, he’d probably have married you last night.”
I sigh.
“Did you try, Jay?”
“Yes. No. Oh, I don’t know! I know he expected things to progress, but I was very clear that I wanted to take things slow. That I didn’t want to be pushed. I hate being pushed.”
“It doesn’t sound like he was pushing you at all. It sounds to me like you were pushing him away.”
I take off my sunglasses, so Danny can see just how miserable I am. “Look. I did try. I told you, I had big plans for last night and now I’m miserable. And not because I drank too much, but because I think I am in love with him. And I’ve probably already lost him. I want things to work out so much, but at the same time, I find myself holding back. I’m so afraid I’ll screw things up.”
“And I think that’s exactly what you need to do. Screw things up.”
“What?” I ask, completely missing the double entendre.
Give me a break! I’m having a rough morning here.
“Sleep with him, Jay,” Danny says very seriously. “Get it over with, before you lose him.”
Somehow, I manage to get through the day. I do yoga with Lori without throwing up, although, my instructor makes some snide comment about me looking a little green.
I make it through the massage, which is normally really relaxing, but made me nauseous. After the massage, we break for lunch and they bring us some healthy and crappy looking spa food. I beg them for a cheeseburger and fries and, yay, they bring it to me. Lori and I have champagne with lunch, and I’m starting to feel almost normal.
After lunch, we’re both getting pedicures and manicures, and then I’m scheduled for a detoxifying body wrap.
Now that is something I need.
Suck all the alcohol out.
How much do you want to bet the yoga instructor set that one up?
During our pedicures, Lori finally breeches the subject of Phillip. She doesn’t know about the disaster last night, and I have no intention of telling her.
“I saw you at breakfast the other morning,” she says, like she knows some big secret. “When Phillip whispered in your ear, you just melted. Your eyes got all dreamy looking. You know, I have never seen you react to any guy like that.” She does an imitation of how my eyes looked. She looks ridiculous, and I’m sure she exaggerates.
“You’re a smart girl. You always amaze me with your ability to see the world as your great big playground. You can see miles into the future, so why can’t you see a good thing when it’s right in front of your face?”
“Phillip,” I state, knowing full well what she means.
“Yeah, Phillip. You know, Danny thinks so too.”
“I know. He told me once after he dumped me.”
“He didn’t dump you.”
“Oh, I know,” I say with a wave of my hand, “but it bugs him when I say he did. Sorry, it’s an old habit.”
“You know, I know all about the flag bikini, Jade. I’ve even seen that sad, tattered little picture.”
“He still has it?” I’m surprised. “You know, I love it that it doesn’t bother you. A lot of girls would have a problem with it.”
“Well, I think Danny has kind of a been-there-done-that attitude towards you.”
“Been there, maybe,” I say, “but never done that.” I grin at her and then frown and say, “Unfortunately.”
“No. Fortunately. Because if you had, he’s right, you probably wouldn’t have stayed such good friends.”
“Why? Is he that bad at it?”
“Well, I think you could expect that he approaches it the same way he does everything else in his life,” she says cryptically.
But I understand completely. “100 percent focus and full out energy.” I sigh and shake my head.
Figures.
“Jadyn, end result is I’m not jealous. Whatever works. He signed a six year, $48 million dollar contract. I don’t care if he visualizes himself playing football with a donkey and a naked clown. Hell, I’d blow the picture up and hang it on the living room wall if I thought it would help his game.”
I squint my eyes at her.
“Okay, maybe not, but my point is that I understand your friendship with Danny, and we both value it.”
“So, brilliant wife-to-be, why do you think I should risk my friendship with Phillip by dating him?”
“Because you’re perfect together.” She pauses for effect, “Jade, it’s like you were made for each other.”
“That’s all great, Lori, but I think it may be too late. But you don’t need to hear about my problems, this is your wedding day.” I smile. “We’re only going to talk about happy things.”
“Did something happen between you two last night?”
“No.”
“Oh,” she says understanding, “is that the problem?”
“Evidently,” I say with a roll of my eyes.
Lori and Danny’s wedding is held on the beach at sundown.
We stand beneath a beautiful white archway that’s laden with tropical flowers and smells heavenly. The hotel’s wedding planner must have weddings down to an art, because they say I do and kiss, just as the big orange sun is sneaking below the horizon. It is the most simple, yet most beautiful and romantic wedding I’ve ever seen.
It’s intimate and personal.
I think if I ever find a man crazy enough to marry me, it needs to be on a beach just like this.
I recovered from my massive hangover, and because I had been pampered all day, I have to say I looked pretty darn good at the wedding. Unfortunately, Phillip, who was looking damn fine himself, didn’t seem to even notice. He was cordial and overly polite to me at the reception dinner with eve
ryone.
And, as maid of honor and best man, we did have to dance together and toast the happy couple. But the whole time he was stiff, and I just wanted to cry and beg him not to be mad at me. I even thought about telling him I was sorry, although I’m still not convinced I did anything wrong. I also thought about telling him that he might be right about me being a little in love with him, but I couldn’t. I wasn’t sure he’d believe me.
Before we came here, I had pictured in my mind how much fun Phillip and I would have at our two best friends’ wedding. Needless to say, my picture didn’t happen.
As soon as Danny and Lori left, Phillip said, “Good night,” and walked away.
I thought about going dancing to try to make myself feel better, but I couldn’t.
I thought about going to his room, but I didn’t know what I’d say.
So I went straight to my room and kept hoping he would knock at my door.
Of course, he never did.
I know it’s over between us. It got completely screwed up.
What am I going to do without my best friend?
Phillip basically ignored me for the final day of the trip, so I was pleasantly surprised when we got back home, and he was true to his word.
He acted like it never happened.
I guess what happens in Mexico, really does stay in Mexico.
We still talk every night on the phone. It felt a little forced at first, but we slowly worked our way back to normal.
I moved to Omaha, where I have a job with an engineering firm. Phillip is living at his parents’ house, for now, and working at his dad’s company.
My romantic life is, well, not exactly going the way I’d like it to, mostly because I haven’t figured out what to do about Phillip.
So I’m sort of dating this cute guy who’s in a band.
It’s a perfectly mindless fling.
And perfectly mindless is perfect right now.
The summer flew by with work, and the move, and the guitar player. Soon, there is a chill in the air at night and even though the days are still hot, you can practically feel fall and, more importantly, football season in the air.
I haven’t gotten to see much of Danny lately. He went to Wisconsin for the Chiefs’ training camp and was named backup quarterback. I try to talk to Lori and him every few days and am just thinking about calling them, actually, when my phone rings.
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