by Dilly Court
The colour had drained from Bella’s face and, seeing her swaying on her feet, Kitty leapt forward to support her. ‘She’s lying, Bella.’
‘Not so high and mighty now, are you?’ With a disdainful snort, Iris turned to Warner. ‘Get them out of here. Throw them out on the street, where they belong.’
Warner strode to the door and, as he flung it open, George and the maids almost fell into the room. Choosing to ignore their misdemeanour, Warner stood aside. ‘Show Lady Mableton to the door, George.’
Between them, Kitty and George helped Bella through the entrance hall to the vestibule. ‘Thank you, George,’ Kitty said, softly so that Warner could not hear. ‘And I’m truly sorry if I hurt your feelings.’
‘It felt like you’ve been stringing me along.’
‘No, no, I’m really fond of you, George. I just can’t –’
‘Get back to your duties, George.’ Warner’s voice echoed around the marble columns.
George jumped to attention. ‘Yes, Mr Warner.’
The door closed and they were alone in the street.
‘Oh, Kitty,’ sobbed Bella. ‘What shall I do? What shall I do?’
Chapter Seventeen
Kitty sat at the table in the salon, with a blank sheet of paper in front of her, making a huge effort to focus her efforts on a design for a ball gown for the coming out of Mrs Harrison-Cholmondley’s plump, and painfully plain daughter. Picturing the unfortunate Mabel in her mind only made matters worse; it would have been easier to design a gown for a pig. She sighed heavily. Ideas simply wouldn’t come and, throwing the pencil down, Kitty rose to her feet and went to smooth the folds of the blue silk ball gown that lay draped across a chair, ready for collection. It had taken hours of intensive labour to finish off the complicated design, with yards of lace-trimmed frills and intricate embroidery. Kitty frowned as she laid the garment back on the chair; there were two more ball gowns waiting to be finished off, that had to be ready before the first week in August and the King’s Coronation but, without Maria’s nimble fingers, it was going to be nigh on impossible to complete them on time, if at all. It seemed that the whole of London was in a festive mood, celebrating the great event, and yet the house in Sackville Street lay beneath its own dark cloud.
Filled with restless energy, Kitty paced over to the window, pressing her forehead against the cool glass. The silence of the house seemed to close in on her. She had not realised, until they had gone, how much she would miss the noisy presence of the children. At this moment she would even have welcomed the sound of Maggie and Maria bickering in the kitchen or Betty’s constant, cheery chatter, as she worked away on the treadle machine in the sewing room. Dear, brave Betty, who missed Jem and still mourned for Polly, but never complained or made others feel uncomfortable with her grieving.
Then there was Bella who, after days of moping and indecision, had decided to join Leonie at Mableton Manor. Kitty sighed, thinking of the sleepless nights she had spent, lying in her bed and listening to Bella’s muffled sobs from the room above her own. Poor Bella, she thought sadly, so beautiful and talented and yet so unlucky in love.
There had been a fierce argument during breakfast with Maria and Bella screaming at each other. Maria had wanted Bella to stay in London and make it up with Mr Chester but Bella had refused, saying she would rather die. In the end, Maria had come round a bit and had packed her bags, insisting that she would not let Bella travel to the wilds of Essex on her own. Although, Kitty thought, Maria was probably only going so that she could have another try at persuading Bella to take up Mr Chester’s offer of protection. Maria quite definitely had her sights set on a quiet life in a cosy suburban villa. Kitty hoped fervently that, this time, Bella would have the strength to stand up to her mother.
Jem had left the house before breakfast, without saying where he was going. Kitty chewed the end of her finger and frowned. Although he had seemed to be his usual, cheery self, there had been a certain reserve between them since he came home on leave. He had seemed preoccupied and, with so much going on in the house, there had not been an opportunity for a proper talk. For the first time in her life, Kitty didn’t know what was going on in his head and this scared her, but she couldn’t blame him for wanting to get out of a house full of arguing women.
Jem had sent his mother a telegram announcing his arrival and Betty had replied by return, promising to come home as soon as she could leave Mableton Manor, but the old house had been in such a filthy state that it was taking much longer to make it habitable than she had anticipated. Although it would be lovely to have Betty back home, Kitty dreaded telling her that, without Bella’s financial help, they would be unable to afford the rent on the house in Sackville Street. They would have to move to a less salubrious area, maybe Highgate, Bloomsbury or even Islington, and begin all over again.
With a determined lift of her chin, Kitty walked out of the salon, closing the door behind her. This was just a hiccup, a temporary setback; she would not give in to despair. After all, she was young, she was fit and strong, not afraid of hard work, and she must look after Betty, who had taken her in and cared for her when she had fled from Sugar Yard. Her stomach rumbled, reminding her that she had not eaten anything since the previous evening and now it was past midday. No wonder she felt weak and weepy. All she needed was some food and a cup of tea and then everything would look a lot brighter. She was just about to go down to the kitchen when the front door opened and Bella walked in.
‘Bella! I thought you were going to Mableton Manor.’
‘I couldn’t do it,’ Bella said, stooping to pick up the morning post that lay strewn all over the doormat. ‘When it came to it I just couldn’t face going back to that awful house.’
‘But why? I thought you wanted to go for Leonie’s sake.’
‘I do – I mean I did. I stood on the platform with Mother and then, as the steam engine came chugging towards us, I knew that I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t bury myself in that hateful house, with all the ghastly memories, and I’d die of boredom if I had to live in the country.’
‘But, Bella, you’ve waited all this time to be with Leonie. You can’t mean to throw that away just because you have bad memories of Mableton Manor?’
‘Of course I want to be with Leonie and I will, when the time is right.’
‘I don’t understand what’s going on. Where is Maria?’
Bella waved her hands vaguely. ‘She caught the train. She said she would look after Leonie until I was settled.’
‘So you’ve decided to make it up with Mr Chester?’
‘Never! Not in a million years.’
‘But, Bella, he’ll see to it that you can’t get work in London, he said so.’
‘Leave me alone. I know what I’m doing.’ Bella stalked past Kitty and ran up the stairs, still clutching the bundle of letters.
Kitty stood watching her, too shocked to move, until a hot wave of anger washed over her. Selfish, she thought bitterly, selfish Bella, acting as usual out of self-interest, without a thought of how they were going to live, or for Leonie’s welfare. Kitty raced up the stairs, following Bella into the sitting room and slamming the door behind her.
‘Just what do you think you’re doing?’
Standing in front of the wall mirror, Bella yanked the pin from her hat, turning her head with a look of blank surprise. ‘What’s the matter, Kitty? I thought you’d be pleased to see me.’
‘Pleased? For goodness’ sake, stop and think what you’re doing for once.’
Bella’s lovely mouth drooped and trembled like a sad baby. ‘Don’t talk to me like that, it’s not fair after everything I’ve been through.’
Kitty threw up her hands. ‘You, you, you! It’s all you, isn’t it? You never stop to think that there are other people in the world.’
‘That’s so cruel,’ Bella said, her blue eyes swimming in tears. ‘I’m always doing things for other people and now I’m going to do something for myself.’
G
laring at her, Kitty felt her rage evaporating. Bella was impossibly selfish, but there was not an ounce of malice in her whole body. ‘Please don’t cry.’
Bella sniffed and swallowed. ‘I’m not crying and I do think about other people.’
‘All right, forget what I said.’
‘I’ve made up my mind, Kitty. I know what I have to do now and no one is going to stop me.’
Kitty sank down on the sofa. ‘I’m listening.’
Bella gave her a brilliant smile, blinking away the tears that trembled on her long eyelashes. ‘I lay awake all night thinking things over and I realise now that I was just living a dream thinking that Edward still loved me. I think I always knew, deep down in my heart, that he wouldn’t have gone away if he’d truly cared for me.’
‘I expect you’re right,’ Kitty said, watching Bella riffling through the post, tossing letter and circulars on the floor as she searched for something.
‘I knew it would have arrived.’ With an exultant cry, Bella held up a postcard. ‘There’s always a card from Giles on a Wednesday. Do you see what’s on it?’
Squinting at the sepia tint, Kitty nodded. ‘It’s a windmill.’
‘It’s the Moulin Rouge, a famous nightclub in Paris. Giles told me all about it and he made it sound so exciting that I’ve always longed to see it for myself. He promised me that one day I would sing and dance there in the cabaret.’
‘Sorry,’ Kitty said, shaking her head. ‘I don’t understand.’
‘This postcard, it’s his way of telling me that he’s in Paris. Giles doesn’t waste time with words.’
‘Surely you’re not …’ Kitty stared at Bella, shocked. ‘You wouldn’t?’
Clasping the postcard to her bosom, Bella perched on the arm of the sofa, her eyes shining. ‘Giles is the only man who has never let me down. I know he’s a gambler and a rogue, but he’s always loved me, Kitty. He loves me.’
‘Are you sure of that? You’re not just upset because of Edward Mableton marrying some heiress?’
‘Giles rescued me from a life of poverty and debauchery. He was good to me, only I was too young to realise it at the time. I’d never have left him if it hadn’t been for Maria.’
‘But Bella, she is your mother, maybe she had your best interests at heart.’
‘She left me with my brute of a father when I was only twelve. She only came back when her fancy man deserted her, and by that time, I was living with Giles. Well, to be more exact, I was alone in the hotel in Dover waiting for him to come back from Paris. I’d never have left if she hadn’t persuaded me that it was the right thing to do.’
‘But you said he abandoned you.’
‘Not quite, I may have exaggerated a bit.’ Bella rose to her feet, pacing the room. ‘He went to Paris for a special card game, leaving me in a hotel in Dover. He said it wasn’t the proper place to take a young woman.’ Bella sighed, clasping her hands to her breast. ‘But I wanted to go to Paris and I hated being left on my own. I was really, really furious with him for leaving me behind.’
‘It sounds as though he did it for the best,’ Kitty said, grudgingly.
‘I didn’t think of that at the time. Anyway, Maria arrived at the hotel. She’d been searching for me for weeks, or so she said. She had no money and I was sorry for her, so I got her a room next to mine.’
‘And then?’ prompted Kitty, as Bella seemed to go off into some sort of daydream.
‘It was there that I met Desmond. He courted me with champagne, flowers and expensive gifts. Maria persuaded me that Giles had deserted me and wouldn’t be coming back.’
‘But you’d promised to wait for Rackham. Didn’t that matter to you?’
‘My head was turned by Desmond’s attentions and Maria insisted that I would never do better. It was her idea that she pretended to be my maid, making out that I was a respectable young woman abandoned by a feckless fiancé. When Desmond proposed, she said I would be mad and wicked not to accept him. I was young and foolish, Kitty, but I’m neither young nor foolish now. If I’m to be any man’s mistress then it’s going to be the man I truly love.’
‘You love Rackham? But you always said you hated him.’
‘Love and hate – they’re not much different, Kitty. Sometimes I do hate Giles, but at other times he’s the most exciting man I’ve ever met. He’s never intentionally cruel and he’s never dull.’ Bella’s eyes shone and a pink blush tinted her pale cheeks. ‘I do love him and I’m going to find him and tell him so.’
Kitty angled her head, her mind racing. ‘You can’t intend to go to Paris on your own?’
‘Indeed I can and I will.’
‘And abandon Leonie? I can’t believe you would do that.’
‘I’m not abandoning her. Don’t say that. Leonie is with people who love her and will look after her. Maybe I’m a bad mother, but I need to be loved. I need Giles.’
‘He might have changed his mind.’
‘For all his faults, and I admit they are many, Giles is loyal and I trust him.’ Bella swooped on Kitty and seized her by both hands, holding her gaze with a piercing look. ‘Loyalty and trust are the two most important things in a relationship. I have that with Giles and I believe you have that with your Jem. Don’t throw it all away as I almost did, Kitty. Don’t throw it away.’
Bella went to her room to pack her belongings and Kitty couldn’t wait for Jem to come home to confide her anxieties in him.
It was late in the evening and Bella, who said she was completely exhausted, but more than ever determined to travel to Paris next day, had gone to bed. When she heard Jem’s key in the lock, Kitty flew out of the sitting room, running down the stairs to meet him, pouring out half of the story before he had even had time to hang up his hat.
Finishing the telling over mugs of cocoa in the kitchen, Kitty waited for Jem to agree with her but he merely shook his head.
‘It’s her life, she must do what she thinks best.’
‘Jem, you can’t let her travel abroad on her own.’
Cocking his head on one side, Jem raised his eyebrows and grinned. ‘I think she’s perfectly capable of looking after herself.’
‘Something awful could happen to her.’
‘Not much worse than being forced to live as a kept woman with old Chester, I shouldn’t think.’
‘How can you be so heartless?’
Reaching across the table, Jem grasped her hand in his. ‘There’s only one girl I care about Kitty, and you know who that is.’
Kitty snatched her hand away, unable to control the blush rising to her cheeks as she met his intense gaze. ‘Don’t start all that again. I can’t think about that now.’
‘Say you don’t care about me and I’ll shut up and not mention it again.’
Fingering the chain around her neck, Kitty dropped her gaze. This wasn’t how she had imagined the scene when she finally admitted her deep feelings for Jem and she was suddenly nervous and shy. ‘I don’t want to talk about it.’
Gently, Jem hooked his finger around the chain, revealing the half-sovereign, and held it in the palm of his hand. ‘You still wear this, though.’
The warmth of his hand so close to her skin made Kitty’s heart beat just a bit faster and her cheeks stung with the heat. ‘Of course I do,’ she said, attempting to pass it off with a laugh that sounded false even to her own ears.
‘You needn’t be scared of me.’
Kitty couldn’t meet his gaze. She knew what he said was true, and she did trust him, but the thought of being intimate with any man brought back memories of Sid and his vicious assaults. Her feelings for Jem were a puzzle in her head that never quite fitted together; he was the other piece of the gold sovereign that, with her half, made one. He had been part of her life for as long as she could remember and Jem had his special place in her heart, but that might all be destroyed and lost forever if she could not get the grisly phantom of Sid out of her mind. Jumping to her feet, she turned away, covering her hot cheeks with her ha
nds, shaking her head. ‘I know that, and I’m not scared of you. I do care about you, Jem.’
‘Enough to tell me what’s really bothering you?’
‘I don’t know what you’re talking about.’
‘Yes you do,’ Jem insisted, jumping up and taking hold of Kitty by the shoulders. ‘And it don’t take a genius to work it out. You can’t afford to keep this place on without Bella’s money, now can you?’
‘Oh! That!’ Fearing that he had read her thoughts, Kitty could have cried with relief. ‘It’s my problem, not yours.’
‘If it concerns you and my old lady, then it’s my problem as well.’ Jem shook her gently. ‘Look at me, Kitty.’
Reluctantly, Kitty looked up into his candid blue eyes.
‘Now I’ll tell you what I’ve had in mind ever since I found out that Ma lost her home. I’m coming ashore for good and I’m going to take care of you both.’
Kitty gasped as the full force of what he had said hit her like a slap in the face. ‘But, Jem, you can’t do that. The sea is your life.’
‘I want you to be my life, Kitty. I’ve seen the way George looks at you and, even if you don’t care for him, there’ll be other men who’ll make a try for you. I won’t leave you to struggle on your own. I love you, Kitty.’
Her thoughts reeling, Kitty stared at Jem, seeing for the first time, the man and not the boy. ‘I don’t want anyone else. I never promised George anything. I do care about you, Jem.’
‘I want more than that, and I’m not going away again and risk losing you,’ Jem said, holding her so tightly that she could scarcely catch her breath. ‘I know you love me, deep down; I just want you to face up to it and we can work the rest out together.’
‘You’d give up your dreams for me?’
‘And what about your dreams? You’ve spent all your time looking after everyone else and I’m not going to stand by and see you lose everything you’ve worked so damned hard to get.’
Looking deeply into her eyes, Jem took her in his arms, claiming her mouth with a kiss that sent Kitty’s senses soaring out of control. For a moment, she tried to push him away, but his embrace was steel, softly padded with velvet, his lips demanding and yet tender. Giving way to the firestorm of sweet sensation flowing through her veins, Kitty closed her eyes and the taste of him was sweet as pineapple; the scent of him was musk and Christmas spice. Jem’s lean body was hard, as hers was soft and pliable.
