The massage felt good. He pushed his fingers into the knots wedged under her shoulder blades. She tensed briefly as he worked them out, sighing with relief as he finished.
“We haven’t done that for a while.”
“What?” she asked, leaning her body back so she could look at him.
He pulled her into his arms and hugged her. “You haven’t let me touch you, hug you, spend time with you…since you married.”
Aria didn’t know what to say. She believed Mark hadn’t meant that as an accusation, but it had still felt like one. “Hey, I just had stuff to do. We’re still…” She fake-punched him on the leg and watched his normally stoic expression grow into a smile. “Besties.”
He mirrored her action. “Thanks. You know I love you. I’d do anything for you.”
“Yeah, yeah, and I love you, too.” She shook her head. Why was Mark always so serious? He needed to lighten up, too. In all the years she’d known him, he didn’t seem to smile often. Where was Mark’s levity—his laughter and joy? Maybe that was why she was in his life, to get him to relax. Heaven knows he had helped her through the tough spots over the years. She hoped she’d been just as good of a friend to him. “Now, I know you’re just as much of a kid as Jimmy, so go out there and play too.”
“Only if you watch.”
“Always,” she said. If she was truthful, she had invited Mark to come with them so that Jimmy would have a male to bond with, not to make things better between Mark and her. She considered trying to find someone for him. Oddly enough, he had never spoken about liking any one in the entire time they had known each other.
Mark sprinted down the beach, pumping his arms, and then he hopped the first wave, the second and the third. When he reached the spot where Jimmy was hopping them, too, he tackled him into the water. They both came up sputtering and laughing. She couldn’t keep the grin from her face. This was exactly what both Jimmy and she needed…a day off from their life…to laugh.
Digging her cell phone out of her bag, she accessed the camera function and stood. She narrated as she moved toward the ocean. “Hi, Dan. Here we are on the beach, not far from where you proposed and where we were married. We’re enjoying a beach day…and you can see Jimmy and Mark playing in the water.” She zoomed in on them splashing each other and playing chase.
Jimmy spread his arms wide and waved at her. Joy radiated from him as he bounced up and down. Happiness bloomed inside of her, just watching him.
Turning the phone toward herself, she looked at it and said, “Wish you were here. We’re just playing in the sun, surf, and sand. See you soon! I miss you, Dan.” She choked up. “I love you.”
She stopped the recording and sent it to Dan’s phone. A lump was forming in her throat. She hoped he was safe and sound. Dan McCullum was the one decision she had made for herself. She had never told anyone that he was her greatest wish, her secret desire. On the flip side, he had also brought her pain lately. What she should do with both of those pieces of information was absolutely beyond her…
***
Spreading the blanket wide, Aria laid out all of their lunch items and called the boys. Granted, it was a little late in the afternoon, but Mark and Jimmy were having so much fun, she hated to interrupt them. When they waved at her, she pointed at her wrist and they acquiesced, making their way toward her.
A man wearing blue shorts and no shirt paused in front of her. An ID was strapped to his arm. Next to him was a leaner man who mopped his face with a yellow T-shirt. They had to be Team guys—with their six-pack abs and large biceps, she couldn’t imagine anything else. “Aria? Hey, I’m Declan Swifton and this is Harvey Wilson. We were at your wedding and the reception at the Del. We’re Team guys, too.”
“Yeah, I went through training with Dan. Same class.” Harvey put out his hand and she shook it. Heat emanated from his palm and it engulfed her entire hand. “Sorry, we just came back from a run. Is Dan around?”
“No, he’s…uh…” Crap! She didn’t know what to say. Was she allowed to mention…anything?
Declan put his hand on her forearm. “Don’t worry. We get it. He’s somewhere important.” He nodded his head. “Looks like a good spread. Do you have extra?”
She didn’t…but they could still make do. How could she turn away Dan’s friends?
Chapter 11
His head throbbed. Dan had never been a person that had headaches, yet today he felt as if his skull was going to explode.
“Big Mac, what’s up?” Hammer had been riding his ass since their f’ed-up jump, and Dan wanted nothing more than to smack him upside the brain case and tell him to cool it. Problem was, it would cause more harm than help, so Dan closed his eyes and blocked Hammer.
Leaning against the side of the vehicle, his body moved in rhythm with it until he was lulled asleep.
Aria was moving through the house wearing a clown’s nose and those giant red shoes. She was wearing that adorable blue one-piece, the one with the back cut out.
The day was hot and she was fanning herself with a piece of paper. She turned and saw him. Instead of running into his arms, she held up the paper and said, “You see this. It doesn’t mean anything. I’d used it to dry the dishes, but it doesn’t even do that well. Here, you can have it.”
She held it out for him, waiting for him to take it.
Closing the distance between them, he grabbed the paper and read it. His brow furrowed. “It’s our marriage license. What do you mean it doesn’t mean—?” But he never got to finish his question, as the paper went up in flames. He hurried to the kitchen sink, dropping it in and turning on the water…but he couldn’t save it. The page was reduced to a pile of black ash.
“How could you do that?” he asked.
Aria turned her back on him. He could see that beautiful skin, so exposed to his touch, and he wanted to go to her and wrap her in his arms, but anger was pumping through his body.
Looking over her shoulder, she said, “I didn’t do it. You did. I was just a participant. You orchestrated this whole thing, and I was the idiot who went along for the ride.” She walked toward the patio door.
Suddenly the whole house spun and Aria was really at the front door.
“Wait!” he shouted, but the door was open and she was gone. He fell to his knees and everything around him disappeared until it was he alone in the emptiest place he’d ever been.
“Dan, wake up!” JC’s voice pierced Dan’s dream like a balloon popping, and he was instantly awake. JC’s elbow jamming into his ribs just seemed redundant.
“What?!” asked Dan, staring at his Teammate. He didn’t know what to say. He wanted to ask, “Where are we?” but he didn’t.
“Come on, we’re on North Island. Let’s go.” JC was standing over him. His pack was strapped on and he was holding Dan’s. “I want to get to the car and check on Jen.”
Dan nodded. He took his pack from JC and they followed the rest of the Team out onto the tarmac. The headache was stronger now, throbbing under his sinuses. Stopping at the trash can next to the Air Terminal, he quickly laid down his pack and then leaned over the opening and threw up.
A couple of guys stopped, but JC waved them ahead. “Give me your keys.”
Dan pointed to the pack. He heard JC rummaging around in there and picking up his pack. Lifting his head, Dan watched him walk away.
A meaty paw on his back told him Hammer was there. “Brother, we have to talk. Back up two feet and sit.”
Doing as requested, Dan sat down in a folding chair positioned in the sun. Hammer handed him something to drink and gave him a couple of white pills. He downed them without question and then propped his elbows. His eyes slammed shut. Fuck, he felt horrible!
“Good,” said Hammer. “Now, we’re going to sit here and have a friendly chat while JC figures out how to turn your alarm system off before it wakes the dead at Rosecrans.”
“What?” Dan hadn’t even realized the alarm was blaring. He started to rise and Hammer stopped hi
m, forcing him back into the chair.
“Today was probably the worst jump day of your life, including when you were just learning. Am I correct?” Hammer’s deep bass voice was like a drum in his ear.
“Yes,” replied Dan. Standing up, he raced for the trash can and threw up.
Hammer got up and stood beside him. “Listen, I don’t know whether you have the flu and that’s why you were positioned above JC when he was about to pull or if you have other shit on your mind, but if I see crap like that again then you’re out of the next Op… So fix the shit! Hit medical or whatever needs doing. Got it?”
Bracing his arms on the edge of the trash can, Dan held himself up. “Yes.” Having finally emptied the entire contents of his stomach, he stood. A wave of dizziness lightened his head, and then the headache slammed back into place over his temples and at the back of his skull. He didn’t blame Hammer; as AOIC, or Assistant Officer in Charge of the Platoon, he helped run the platoon and was responsible for issues that arose. Dan’s instincts would force him to do the same thing in Hammer’s position. Teammates had to be at a one hundred percent or they couldn’t do what needed to be done effectively.
A door opened in front of him, and Dan slid into the passenger’s seat.
“You look like hell, my friend,” said JC. “What did Hammer want?”
“Just riding my balls, you know how it is.” Dan grumbled.
“Want me to drop you off at home? I can pick you up in the morning or drop your car off or whatever?” JC seemed anxious to get home.
“Drop me at the base. I want a shower before I see Aria.” Dan took in shallow breaths. Christ, he didn’t want to throw up again. “Jen okay?”
“Yeah, she had some false labor. It’s going to happen anytime now.” JC drove the car through the base, taking a shortcut and heading out a less-traveled gate. Dan looked at the ocean. It was like glass. He longed to swim and float. But it would be cold, and there would be more questions from JC and any other bud he saw than time to relax.
Seeing the Del brought back a whole mass of memories with Aria. His head was close to breaking open. Buildings zipped by and soon enough they were at the Amphib Base. They went through the gate and JC stopped in front of the Platoon Building.
A few vehicles were parked out front, meaning a couple of the guys would be inside. Thank god Hammer wasn’t anywhere to be found. He didn’t want to have to deal with another confrontation.
“Do you want some company? I could call Jen.” JC’s message was clear. He was concerned about Dan and at the same time eager to be with his wife.
Dan shook his head. “What? With a stinkpot like you! I’ve smelled your feet when those boots come off.” Withdrawing his pack from the trunk of the car, Dan hefted it onto his back. “Nah, get out of here. Keep the car until I call you.”
As he watched JC drive off, he thought, Perhaps someday I’ll learn to do it like you do. JC and Jen had a rocking chemistry and an easy way of being together. Whenever they hit a speed bump, they’d laugh or hug their way through and enjoy being out the other side.
“I want that,” he murmured. If he was honest with himself, that’s why he’d gotten married.
Dan walked to the building and keyed in the code. Climbing the stairs felt as if it were taking a million years. When he reached the floor for the cages, the door was propped open and he went inside. A couple of guys were walking out, and they gave him shit about losing his cookies.
The door slammed shut behind them, locking into place. He laid his gear in front of his spot and then stripped his clothes off. Heading to the shower, he kept telling himself he’d be fine.
The tile was cold beneath his feet. He hit the spray and heat pummeled his body. Slowly his muscles began to relax. Filling his hand with liquid soap, he rubbed it over his head and body, washing away the crappy, frustrating day.
***
Showered, shaved, teeth brushed, and wearing clean clothes, Dan felt better. He’d found a couple of Propels and some vitamins in his locker, and the potassium was helping his body as well as giving him some hydration. Adding in a dark-chocolate granola bar, he was starting to feel human. Grabbing his keys and cell phone, he closed the locker, made sure all of his gear was stowed properly, and then turned to leave.
Stopping at the mirror, he stared at himself. “You’ve got it pretty good, Dan, my man.”
He walked out the door and down the stairs. As he was leaving the building, the cold marine layer bathed his skin with tiny drops of salty mist. Stars were attempting to shine through the cloudy wet layer, and he could see one now and then, but for the most part…it was just him and the darkness.
His phone suddenly vibrated with messages he’d missed during the day. He withdrew it from his pocket and looked at it. Playing the messages from Aria first, he watched the videos of Mark and Jimmy and his wife. There were several. Then he read the messages from Declan and Harvey asking who Big Bird—ah, they remembered Mark from the wedding—was and why he was so friendly with Aria.
Dan’s gut clenched. He refused to get sick again. He was feeling better, he told himself.
Quickly he answered his buddies, telling them all was well. Mark was just a friend.
They sent a few snide comments back.
In Dan’s opinion, it was in his own best interest to ignore them, but there was a seed of doubt there. Several seeds, if he was honest. Was there a man alive who could be friends with a woman without wanting to have sex with her? Unless, of course, the man was dead! The way Mark looked at Aria, it was obvious that Mark Anders was a living, breathing man and his wife was completely unaware of her effect on him.
Chapter 12
Night had fallen. It had been a long day, and Aria was pleasantly exhausted. The tea had been a real eye-opener, and she was happy that she’d gone. She looked forward to getting to know the SEAL wives better. They were different than she’d thought they’d be—funny, relaxed, and very human. There’d been no one-upmanship or cattiness. Instead they felt more like…sisters, or what Aria thought sisters should be like.
One of the stories had astounded her…about a house flooding and the husband being deployed and having three kids under five to keep track of while the wife called the plumber and simultaneously strapped them into a car with a movie to watch and then tried to stop the waterfall coming from her bathroom. These women were remarkable…ingenious. Could she do it, too? Be that on the ball and capable?
Yes, she told herself. Hadn’t she raised her brother and helped her stoic uncle as well as gotten herself through school with practically straight As?
Of course, the news that had been toughest to deal with was the Haussey death. Nothing could prepare her for it, she knew it, but she didn’t want to lose Dan. Making dinner for him, spending time together… It was the best she could do to tell him stay alive, stay safe, and come home to me—always.
She sliced a cucumber so that the pieces were extra thin, almost see-through, and then she arranged them on the plate next to the baby carrots, sugar-pea pods, broccoli, and the big bowl of full-fat ranch dressing for the dip.
Checking the clock, she realized it was time to turn off the roasted chicken with homemade corn-bread stuffing and the ears of roasted yellow corn. She knew it was Dan’s favorite. It had stretched their food budget a little, but it was worth it.
Breathing in the scent of a home-cooked meal, Aria knew Dan would appreciate it. Things had been a little rocky lately, and she wanted to soothe the sore spots. She missed the calm way they interacted. Where had that gone?
The sound of his key in the lock brought a smile to her face. She walked to the door, feeling the swish of her silk robe against her legs with every step. She hoped he’d like the green silk panty-and-bra set.
The door opened and she beamed at him. She began to move toward him and then froze.
“Aria.” The way he said her name was as if he was suspicious, or worse, angry.
“Dan. Welcome home.” She smiled, smoothing her w
ild hair away from her face, trying to figure out what was going on. Had she done something? Her mind ran through a list of activities, and she couldn’t imagine a single one that would give him pause. On the contrary, he should be proud of her for getting to know some of his Teammates’ wives.
Hanging his jacket on the knob of the front door, he said, “I got your texts. Interesting movies.”
Aria turned back toward the kitchen. She wanted to check that dinner wasn’t going to burn. “It was great, wasn’t it? We had the best afternoon. A couple of your friends joined us for lunch, too. Declan and Harvey.”
“Yeah,” he said, his tone flat and cold. “I got a couple of texts from them.”
She turned to look at him. Dan seemed off, and she didn’t like it.
He spoke again. “So Mark is spending a lot of time with you…”
What was this…was Dan jealous? If he was, should she soothe him or kick his ass for being such a numbskull? “No. Not really. I mean I invited him to spend the afternoon with Jimmy and me. As a matter of fact, Jimmy is staying at Mark’s apartment. You know…for a guy’s night.” Her husband was seriously bursting her bubble. Didn’t he notice the home-cooked meal, the sexy nighty, et cetera? She had been happy before he arrived.
Dan crossed his arms and leaned against the wall. “He didn’t need to do that. We’re a family. We can make it work.”
Aria frowned at him. “I know that. I just wanted us to have a little ‘alone’ time.”
“Roger that.” He pushed off from the wall and came toward her. “What’s all this?”
She looked behind her at the candles and the lovely display of veggies. “I wanted to arrange a treat. A memory.”
“Why? What did you do?”
Her formerly pleasant mood melted into a pool of anger. “You think I did this because I’ve been up to something?” She poked her index finger into his chest like a spear. “You better take that back this instant, Dan McCullum, before I really get angry.”
Once a SEAL Page 14
