The attraction had been potent from day one and had exploded between them last night. So had emotions she had no business feeling. Even if she put his relationship to Sam aside, that didn’t change her reservations.
She and Ryan couldn’t be more different. He was a conservative man with a life and expectations far removed from her own. He lived in a city that was a solid four hours away. And he evoked an intensity of feeling that could cause untold upheaval in a life she was just beginning to reclaim.
Heaven only knew what kind of damage he could cause if she let him into her heart.
Ryan walked barefoot down to the beach, wishing he could share the gorgeous night with Zoe. Instead, he found himself alone. Because it was early evening, the sun lovers had headed inside, but there were still large groups of people hanging out by the water. The frothy waves hit the shore and rolled back, relaxed and easy—unlike how Ryan was feeling at the moment. He rolled his shoulders, but the tension remained.
He was a short time away from achieving everything he’d come to New Jersey for and yet the victory was bittersweet. In getting what he desired, he’d be hurting people he’d come to like and respect. Worse, he was falling hard for a woman who had every right to want distance between them.
He kicked at the sand in disgust, and when his cell phone rang, he was grateful for the distraction.
He pulled the phone out of his pocket and flipped it open. “Hello?”
“Ryan, how are you?”
“Uncle Russ. I’m fine.”
“You don’t sound fine.”
Ryan could picture the scowl on his uncle’s face. “I never could put one over on you, could I?”
His uncle chuckled. “That’s because I’m older and wiser. Now talk to me.”
He told his uncle about Sam, about how much her attitude reminded him of his sister, about how she tried to act tough but had a soft heart for animals and about her relationship with her foster family. “She’s a great kid,” he summed up, knowing that great didn’t nearly cover all Sam’s attributes.
“Of course she’s great. She’s got Baldwin blood running through her veins,” Uncle Russ said, chuckling.
“I suspect she’s great in spite of that fact,” Ryan said bluntly.
His uncle cleared his throat. “Well don’t you worry. I’ll make her feel like she’s part of the family and who knows? Perhaps your parents will come around. Does she know who you are yet?”
“Good question.”
Ryan glanced at his watch. Zoe had called him earlier to say she planned to gather her parents and give them the news. Telling Sam could come later. On the phone, Zoe had been cool and distant, something he both understood and hated at the same time. Though he had no idea whether she’d be in touch with him after she delivered the blow to her parents, his stomach rolled in anticipation.
“Sam should be told soon,” he informed his uncle, taking no pleasure in his own words.
After Sam knew, then the real challenge would begin. Trying to convince her of his sincerity. Trying to get her to appreciate his position as family, not enemy.
“Do you need me? I can come down, you know.” Uncle Russ had always been there to offer his support.
The gesture brought a lump to Ryan’s throat. He might not have much of an immediate family to speak of, but he’d always had Uncle Russ. He hadn’t realized how much he needed to hear a friendly, familiar voice from home, but speaking to his uncle now helped him feel more grounded and cemented to the life he’d temporarily left behind.
He glanced up at the setting sun and closed his eyes, grateful for what he did have and determined to let Sam share in the same things.
“Ryan, are you there?”
“I’m here. No need to visit just yet. Maybe when the initial shock blows over. We’ll see.”
“Well, I’ve got to run. My dinner date is here,” his uncle said.
Ryan grinned. The consummate bachelor, Uncle Russ never had the same dinner date more than a few times, and he wondered who the lucky woman was this evening.
“Have a good time.” Ryan paused, unsure of how to speak his feelings after a lifetime spent keeping them inside. “Before I hang up—”
“Yes?”
“Thanks for being there.”
Silence followed for a moment before Uncle Russ spoke. “You’re the son I never had, Ryan. Always remember that.”
His uncle’s declaration was welcome at a time when Ryan felt adrift from everyone and everything. He hung up and settled into the sand to watch the last of the sun set on the horizon.
He needed time to think about the fallout sure to come, and mentally say goodbye to Zoe, the woman he felt certain he was about to lose.
Chapter Seven
With all the family changes on the horizon, Zoe was lured to the wall of photographs going up the stairs in her parents’ home. Though unorthodox, her own childhood had been a happy one, as documented by the assorted pictures facing her. Part of the reason she’d never moved out of her parents’ house was the feeling of warmth and security she found here, something she never thought she could find anywhere else.
Since her old job had kept her on the road sometimes for days on end, she hadn’t missed having a place of her own until recently. And, she admitted, it helped that her parents no longer kept tabs on her and that she liked their unstructured life.
Was there also an element of inability to commit to anyone or anything, as her father said? She shivered and, instead of dealing with the present, she focused on the wall that showed off her past.
The most recent photo added to the collection caught her eye. The picture showed Sam, Spank the monkey, Ari and Zoe together at Zoe’s welcome-home party after she’d returned from her enforced confinement last year. The three of them looked like real sisters. And her parents truly did treat Sam like one of their own children. They’d even become more structured since Sam had come into their lives. Dinner was served at six, and they all ate seated as a family. Sam’s homework had to be completed before television was allowed, and she had a strict curfew.
Though Zoe wouldn’t call her mother June Cleaver, Elena had become more regimented with Sam around because she understood what the child needed. Despite the fact that Elena had become a certified masseuse, she never scheduled a spa appointment after three, and she was home every afternoon when Sam returned from school. All these changes had been made because the entire Costas family loved Sam and wanted her to have as close to a perfect childhood as possible.
“Looking at the wall of shame?” Ari asked.
Zoe felt her twin’s hand on her shoulder and covered it with her own. “That always was your description.” But Zoe knew that Ari had come to terms with her difficulties within their family. “I was just thinking what a great childhood we had.”
“We did. Even I can see that now, especially compared to Sam’s journey through the foster-care system,” Ari said.
“I wanted the same thing for Sam,” Zoe said.
“Maybe Ryan Baldwin can provide it for her. You like him, and that’s no small feat.”
Zoe turned toward her twin. “He’s a good man, but do you know what his family’s kind of life would do to Sam? The rules, the regulations, the criticism that drove her mother to run away.” Zoe shivered, mentally placing herself in that same position of being judged.
Thinking along those lines always sent her into an emotional freeze. Her relationship with Ryan worked only because she knew he would return to Boston and there was no chance of a long-term relationship between them. If not for that assurance, she’d run far and fast to escape, just as his sister had.
“You ready to talk to Mom and Dad?” Ari asked. “Quinn’s waiting with them in the family room.”
Zoe inclined her head. “Let’s do it.”
Less than ten minutes later, the truth had been revealed. Elena sat on the couch, her head bent, and Zoe knelt down beside her mother, holding her hand. Zoe’s stomach was twisted in knots, and she hated
herself for putting her parents through so much pain.
“So to be clear, this Ryan Baldwin isn’t a social worker?” her father asked.
Ari shook her head.
“He’s Sam’s mother’s brother,” Quinn explained again.
“Which makes him a liar,” Nicholas snapped.
Zoe cringed. “Papa,” she said, using the nickname she’d called him as a child. “The lie was my fault. Mom mistook Ryan for a social worker the day of Sam’s party, and yes, he went along with it in the beginning, but I found out that day…and I convinced him to stay quiet.”
While her mother remained uncharacteristically silent, Nicholas let out a litany of Greek profanity that singed her ears. “Why?” he asked. “Why would you do this to your own family?”
Her throat tightened. She rose to face her father in order to explain. “At first I needed to check out if he was who he claimed to be. And then I wanted to make sure he was a decent guy before I revealed anything.”
“And then you fell for the man.” Elena lifted her head from her kimono sleeve for the first time since hearing the news.
Her mother’s words slammed into Zoe with the force of a Mack truck. “Untrue,” Zoe protested too quickly. “I just didn’t want to cause complete panic until I had more facts. You know how much I love you all. You know I adore Sam. I had everyone’s best interests at heart.”
Her father strode forward and claimed her in a reassuring bear hug. “You, I have faith in. That man, him I don’t trust.”
Despite understanding her father’s side, Zoe wanted to defend Ryan. She told herself it was for Sam’s sake that she needed to redeem him in her parents’ eyes, but her rapidly beating heart and the wave of emotions sweeping through her told her that her motives were more self-serving.
“Ryan’s a decent man, Papa.”
“Bah.” Nicholas folded his arms across his chest.
“Ari? Quinn? What do you think of Ryan?” her mother asked.
“You don’t need to ask them.” Zoe’s voice rose, this time in her own defense. “I’m the one who’s spent time with him and can judge his character. And I can tell you that he’s as much a victim of circumstance as we are. Ryan loved Sam before he ever met her. He came here with the best intentions, to find his niece and give her a good life.”
“She already has a good life,” her father said, gesturing with his hands to the four walls of the home he’d provided for his family.
“But he didn’t know that!” Zoe clenched her fists in frustration.
“Everyone needs to calm down,” Quinn said, stepping between them. “This is a shock, so let’s take some time to let it sink in before we tell Sam.”
“Sam already knows.” The object of their discussion walked in from the kitchen, pig in her arms, eyes wide with shock. “That stuffed shirt is my uncle?” she asked, her voice shaking.
Zoe had no words to reassure her. Sam was a smart kid and she’d probably already assessed the situation and realized the possibility of yet another upheaval in her life.
“What are you doing back from Michelle’s?” Elena strode forward, taking control while everyone else stared in mute shock.
“She got sick, and her mom dropped me off on the way to the pharmacy.”
Elena wrapped an arm around Sam’s stiff shoulders, but the young girl remained remote and withdrawn.
Watching them, Zoe’s heart was close to breaking.
“Don’t jump to any conclusions or panic, squirt. We’ll get this figured out, okay?” As always, Quinn attempted to be the voice of reason.
“Yeah, sure. Whatever.” Obviously, not even Quinn’s strong presence seemed to reassure Sam. She snuggled the pig tighter against her chest, ignoring Ima’s squeals of protest.
Then, without meeting anyone’s gaze, Sam stormed out of the room. Nobody dared call Sam on breaking the rules of bringing the pig upstairs. The teen deserved some form of comfort, something nobody else seemed able to give.
Stomp, stomp, slam, Zoe thought, echoing Sam’s actions in her mind. The walls shook when she slammed the door, leaving the adults to stare helplessly at one another.
What could they say? There was so much more at stake than just the possibility of Ryan taking Sam back to Boston. Sam’s actions proved it. She’d already begun the process of withdrawing emotionally to protect herself from being hurt. Not only had she been handed unexpected and painful information, but she’d heard it through eavesdropping. By the family holding this meeting without her and getting caught, they’d reinforced her biggest insecurity—that she wasn’t wanted here, anyway.
And Zoe feared that reaching past Sam’s defenses this time would be not just difficult, but impossible.
A few hours later, Ari and Quinn had gone home, while her mother and father had retreated to their bedroom to discuss and absorb the news. Zoe had heard her mother knock on Sam’s door and the loud go away she’d received in response. She guessed Elena hadn’t pushed the issue because she wanted to let Sam settle for a bit before she forced her to talk.
Zoe figured she’d try and see Sam before she turned in for the night. She paused outside her closed door and knocked lightly. “Sam? It’s me.”
“Go away.”
“No. I’m coming in,” she warned. She knew better than to leave Sam alone for too long. With her active adolescent mind, she’d conjure up all sorts of proof that the Costases wanted her gone, anyway.
No, Sam needed to feel the love.
Zoe walked inside. She glanced around, taking in the touches Sam had added that marked the room as hers. The Orlando Bloom stand-up poster from the party, the stuffed animals and the typical clutter accumulated over time. Except in Sam’s case, all the stuff had been gathered over the short period during which she’d lived with Zoe’s parents.
She’d arrived from her last foster home with little in the way of personal items except for the keys around her neck, and she seemed surprised each time someone—Ari, Zoe, Elena, Nicholas or even one of the aunts—bought her something just because they wanted to see her smile.
Sam sat on her bed.
Zoe joined her. “You can’t keep your feelings inside.” Counseling was Ari’s forte, but Zoe tried, anyway, for Sam’s sake.
Sam pulled her knees up to her chest and leaned back against the headboard. “I’m not. Ryan Baldwin is a liar, and I don’t want to be related to him. You knew about the lie, so you were probably helping him to get close to me so you could get me out of your house and have your parents back all to yourself.”
Zoe rolled her eyes. “I’m thirty years old. What makes you think I want my parents’ attention all on me? I saw this one coming, but I thought you’d come up with a better story than that lame one.” She nudged Sam’s leg with her elbow.
And got a grudging half smile in return. “Okay, then why did you lie?” Sam asked.
“Because I needed time to find out if Ryan was telling the truth. I wanted to know what kind of man he really was before turning everyone’s lives upside down. Can you try to understand?”
Sam shrugged. “Maybe.”
She was trying valiantly to show no fear, but Zoe saw her trembling lips and wide eyes, the scared little girl beneath the facade.
Since nothing could make this nightmare go away, Zoe opted to try and make it easier. “And maybe you can find out a little about your uncle? Maybe Ryan can tell you some more about your mom.” Zoe prodded her softly, wanting Sam to realize there were benefits to having Ryan in her life.
Sam fingered the keys around her neck but said nothing.
Zoe tilted her head and scooted a little closer. “You never talked about her. Do you want to? With me?”
Sam shook her head. “I just want to go to sleep.” A single tear dripped down her cheek. She ignored it, didn’t bother to wipe it away.
Zoe desperately wanted to pull Sam into her arms, but she sensed how much the teen valued her composure. Even at this young age, Sam knew how to keep it together, a function of growing u
p in foster homes with no one who truly cared.
In her heart, Sam had to know everyone in the Costas family loved and respected her. Enough to give her the space she needed.
“I’d just like you to remember one thing,” Zoe said.
Sam reluctantly lifted her gaze. “What’s that?”
“We love you, whatever happens.” Some words had to be said, Zoe thought, in order to be both felt and remembered.
And then, though Sam had curled into a ball, Zoe pressed a kiss to the top of her head before slipping out the door.
She leaned back, hands flat against the wall and exhaled hard. Despite it all, she felt torn. On the one hand, she wanted to kill Ryan for putting Sam through this pain and on the other hand, she wanted to show up on his doorstep and fill him in on everything that had happened tonight. And then she wanted to let him hold her, make love to her, and ease the pain. She felt that close to him.
What irony. Because if not for Ryan, she wouldn’t feel so gut-wrenchingly bad right now.
The sun peeked through the curtains on the window, but Ryan didn’t need daylight to tell him it was morning. He hadn’t slept a wink all night.
When he hadn’t heard from Zoe by midnight, he resigned himself to not hearing from her at all. Unable to sit still in his small motel room, he’d headed out to a local bar and nursed a couple of drinks. He’d thought he’d consumed enough to put him out for the night, but instead, he’d stared at the ceiling, tortured by the memory of Zoe’s enthusiastic moans, groans and earth-shattering climax. A climax she’d had at the same moment he’d come inside her.
He felt as though those memories were some kind of punishment, though he hadn’t done a damn thing wrong except be related to Sam. He ran a hand through his hair and rose from the bed, determined to take his and Sam’s fate into his own hands.
After a quick shower and shave, he dressed, ready to head over to the Costas home and have this discussion with all interested parties present.
Summer of Love (Costas Sisters Book 2) Page 11
