by Vi Carter
Her hand goes to her neck and she fingers the pendant. I’m not sure if she’s aware of it. Her mouth opens and closes as she stares at me. Right now, I hate her. I hate how beautiful she is at this moment—I hate that I can’t kill her.
“Don’t leave this room.” I march from the bedroom and slam the door behind me. I’m glaring at it. Hoping she defies me. I don’t hear a sound. Anger laces its way through my bloodstream and it’s a cruel kind of anger. It’s the kind that I need to unleash and I find myself walking away from the bedroom door because I don't want Scarlett to be the target. I don’t want her to see the ugly inside of me.
Blood drips onto my lips and I re-enter the kitchen and grab a fresh dishcloth to try to stop the bleeding.
I could get rid of her before Gage arrives back with our parents. No doubt he would keep to his promise.
The fucking annoying part was that the woman was never meant to die. I had been paid to kill two men, but my target had sent his wife. She had tried to kill my client and I had pulled the trigger. Job done. I wouldn’t have intervened, only he was a friend of a friend. Now I realize my mistake for not just doing my job. This is what happened when you moved outside the lines of a contract.
I had to make up my mind quickly. I either got rid of Scarlett or told her the truth. I laugh into the sink. The truth? What the fuck was that anymore?
I glance over my shoulder expecting to see her standing there, but the space is empty. What would it be like to have her gone? I didn’t like the thought at all. I’m moving again and this time when I open the bedroom door it hits the wall. She jumps, spinning around. I hate how beaten she looks. I need her gone. I need to erase her. She takes a step back and I wonder if she can see it in my eyes. That I need to turn this off. She turned it on inside me and now I need it turned off before it destroys both of us.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
SCARLETT
Fear skitters up my back. My brain is on a loop that he tried to smother me. His eyes hold violence that I don’t want to be on the receiving end of. I have no idea what’s happened from the man who placed a kiss on my head, to this.
“What’s wrong?” My voice trembles as he steps closer. His gaze doesn’t leave my face and I bite the inside of my jaw. What had I done? I’m trying to think, and my brain scatters in too many directions.
“People are coming.”
I swallow the sob. I knew this would come. I knew he would kill me, but was I being loaned out to people? “What kind of people? Are they going to hurt me?” It’s better to know.
“Just people.” His irritation has him running his hands through his hair, but that didn’t answer my question if they were going to hurt me.
“I’m not sleeping with people,” I say lamely, but the fear of being used is choking me.
He clears the space and I have no idea what’s fueling this anger in him. His hand touches my neck, he doesn’t tighten his hold, but he’s struggling, I can see it.
I blink and tears spill. “I’d prefer to die.”
My words have him pushing me away. I stumble but manage to keep myself upright.
I don’t understand what’s happened. I had thought we were starting to like each other. I feel so foolish. I liked him. I liked the man who kidnapped me. It is more than like.
“It’s three people. It will be for two days.” Dean’s pacing as he runs his hands through his hair.
Three people, two days. Numbers, but no answers. Were they going to hurt me? Was he going to allow them to hurt me? Panic has my feet moving and I step into his path and grab his face. He seems startled as I reach up on the tip of my toes and press my lips against his. His hands grip my face and his kiss is harsh and savage. We are moving, and when I sink onto the bed, I don’t mind getting lost in this moment. My pain alters too quickly and I know his touch burns all the pain away. Dean’s erection prods my stomach and I drag him closer. He breaks the kiss panting, his hot breath fans across my face as he looks down at me. I don’t want him to look at me, I don’t want him to see the struggle that tears through me. I grab his shirt, pull him to me, kissing him again and he returns it, but he doesn’t close his eyes; his kiss is too gentle. I don’t like it. I press my lips harder against his, but he doesn’t get fired up like he had two minutes ago. My teeth sink into his lip and he quickly pulls away. I let him go as he gets off me. His fingers come away with blood from his swollen lip. His gaze bores into me as I lick his blood off my lips.
He’s glaring at me. “They will be here in an hour.”
I’m scurrying off the bed. People are really coming. I have no idea what will happen to me. I can’t be expected to just wait. I had an hour.
I nod my head, as if I understand that this is how it works.
“Don’t look at me like that!” His bark is loud and he’s moving back to me. His hand once again circles my neck.
“Do it.” I push my body into his hand. “End it for me, because it would be easier this way.”
His eyes trace my face, but he doesn’t move.
My hands connect with his chest. “Do it!” My voice rises and I hit him again. “Do it, you fucking coward!”
He releases my neck and my hand connects with his face. The sound is like a gunshot in the room.
I’m choking on terror and I want it to end, but he stares at me with inky eyes.
“I hate you.” I clear the space and hit his chest again. “I hate you!” I scream louder and lash out again. This time his hand circles my wrist and he drags me to his chest where he holds me and I sob, waiting for the pressure of his hand on the back of my head to come. He’s going to smother me, and some broken part of me welcomes death. All I have to do is think of being shared around. That type of hurt is cruel and not worth the small joys of this world. Not to me, anyway.
“No one is going to hurt you.” Dean’s words break through my heartache and his hand that had been on the crown of my head, strokes my hair. My fists tighten on his shirt and I’m breaking all over again. I’m gasping and trying to stay up right. His hand circles my waist, like he knows I can’t hold up my own weight anymore.
“No one will hurt you.” He keeps repeating the words and it’s funny because they start to calm the hysteria that is building inside me. I’m falling for him. That’s the part that is making me cry harder. Shame burns my body that I want him to comfort me, I want him to hold me.
“You can’t tell them who you are.”
I’m slowly coming out of my cocoon and trying to look up at him, but he keeps me pinned to his chest.
“If you tell them the truth, I’ll have to kill you.” His words are steady, but they hurt so fucking much. I need to remind myself that I’m falling for him; but to him, I’m a means to an end.
“Do you understand, Scarlett?”
Once again I try to look up at him, but he holds me firm.
“Yes.” I bite out the word and clear my throat. Now he lets me go. A small blood spot rises from the puncture wound on his lip and I’m transfixed on it.
“Whatever I introduce you as, that’s what you are.” His lips move.
I nod my head.
“If they ask you a question, let me answer.”
I nod again, because no one will hurt me. He said it himself. That no one would hurt me. I can’t take anymore hurt. “No one will hurt me,” I say, and reach up dabbing at the blood on his lip, his tongue flickers out and touches my fingers that I withdraw.
“I won’t let anyone hurt you.” He holds my chin and I’m falling into his onyx eyes. “I’ll keep you safe.”
Who’ll protect me from you? I nod. “Safe.” What a foreign word. It sounded like the word hope, or faith, or even trust. Words that are thrown around, and yet to fulfil any of them, it takes something that’s close to love.
I drop his gaze.
“Go get showered and cleaned up.” He releases me and I can’t move.
“Dean…”
His jaw is tight as he glares down at me. My fingers automati
cally go to my pendant.
“Yes?” He’s waiting for me to speak, but I can’t. What I want to ask is unreasonable, and I can’t understand why I seek it now. I want him to come with me. I want his touch.
I shake my head, my face darkening from my own stupid thoughts.
“Nothing.”
He holds me in his stare before releasing me with a nod. I quickly leave the room before I say something else that I won’t be able to take back.
The water pours down on my back and I’m ready to cry, only now that I’m alone, no tears come. The fog that Dean’s presence often wraps me in, disappears and reality sinks back in. Maybe this is why I wanted him with me. I didn’t want my own personal thoughts coming back. Closing my eyes, I bow my head and let the water race down my back. I want to feel something other than this turmoil. I don’t know what it is I want. I tighten my fists until my nails dig into my palms; the pain is instant, but it isn’t enough. I clamp down on the inside of my mouth until I release it from the pain. A sob along with a dribble of blood pours from my mouth and I sink to the floor. Pulling my knees to my chest, I sit right under the spray of water.
I’m crawling across the shower until I reach my clothes. I glance up at the door and when no one enters, I tug on my top and trousers. It’s hard enough getting into them, but I manage to. I’m grinning like a lunatic as I step back under the spray of water. My body trembles from the sudden warmth and I spin, as I visualize soaking myself under the spray of rain. I sit back down on the floor and let the rain soak my clothes. My hands tap on the ground to a beat that pulses in my body. I want to shout to the sky. I want to tell everyone who sees me to fuck off and keep walking. A laugh bubbles up my throat as I picture them, rushing past me wondering what the crazy girl is doing. I’m not crazy, am I? Small puddles of water are gathering as I sit on top of the drain. I splash and some part of me is elated at the noise. Red wellie boots spring to mind. Maybe I had a pair once. I had no idea, but the more I splash, the more my excitement grows.
“What are you doing?”
I scream as I open my eyes. Dean is looking down at me. I stop splashing and wipe water from my eyes. “Taking a shower.”
I get up off the ground.
“In your clothes?”
“I…” I trail off. He wouldn’t understand what I was doing. “I like the rain.” I shrug.
“You need to be honest with me, Scarlett.”
I nod like I’m always honest. Don’t laugh. I swallow the laughter that wants to bubble up my throat.
“Are you okay?”
I can’t stop the laughter that keeps pouring from my mouth. It keeps coming and each time I look up at Dean to tell him to give me a minute, I can’t speak as laughter silences my words. My laughter changes without my permission and I’m sobbing. I turn my back on him and bury my face in my hands, I don't want anyone to see me like this. Sobs render me speechless again, and I want him to go. I need to tell him I’m okay, it’s just a moment, one small moment in the expanse of my life. How many moments had I lost to this pain? Too fucking many. Arms circle me and Dean’s touch manages to break me further. I want this so badly, I hate how much I need him. I turn and he pulls me into his chest, where he lets me unleash all my pain.
I want to pin down this pain and be done with it, yet it just won’t leave me.
“Scarlett, I need you to keep it together.” Dean’s words smash through my pain and I’m leaning out so I can look at him.
“You don’t make it easy.” I’m staring up at him.
A ghost of a smile touches his swollen lip. “I know.”
His acknowledgment has me pulling myself a little bit more back together.
“I’m trying.” I admit but I’m struggling. He places a kiss on my lips and it’s too gentle.
I try to grab him and pull him to me, but he encircles my wrists with his long fingers. His gaze bores into me and he doesn’t say anything. All I can hear is the running water that soaks his back. I want to touch him, I want to run my hands into his beard, but he releases me and steps back. His brows draw down. “Get dressed.” His command isn’t delivered with his usual heaviness.
I nod and he leaves me. I step forward and return to the spray of water. I visualize what I always visualize. All the pain and anger is covering my body. The black substance starts to wash away under the spray of water. I help it by pulling off my clothes and letting it go down the drain, washing it all away. As I step out of the shower, I wrap myself up in a towel, and take several deep breaths. I need to keep it together. The sound of an alarm has everything in me freezing.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
DEAN
I can’t meet my dad’s black eye. Gage helps mam down the steps. I can see the uncertainty that crosses her face. She looks older.
“You will be safe here.” Gage smiles at her and she clutches his arm. White pearls around her neck look larger than I remember, or maybe she’s smaller. My dad glances around the living space.
“It’s nice.” He declares while nodding his head. Purple bruises blossom on the back of his neck and I can’t meet Gage’s gaze. He’s staring at me, but anger fills me far too quickly.
“Sit down.” I’d never had them in my home, so I wasn’t exactly used to hosting. “Can I get you a drink?”
Dad sits down and the pain that crosses his face, tells me that they didn’t leave much of him untouched. The gray peaky cap, he pulls from his head.
“Anything strong?” His smile has me nodding as Gage helps mam to the couch.
She stops me and I struggle to meet her gaze. Her small hand touches my beard. “You need to shave.” Small blue eyes that waver stares up at me. She’s getting smaller. I feel like a giant beside her. My mam’s gaze swings to Gage and she touches his face that has some stubble on it. “You too.”
Gage nods and smiles at her. “I will, Mam.”
For the first time I meet Gage’s gaze and he raises both brows. “Where’s your guest?”
“Getting dressed.” I bite out.
“Oh, you have someone here?” My mam’s interest has Gage smiling, but my insides rock and I push it down.
“Yeah.” I leave them and pour out a brandy that I knock back before refilling it. I pour my dad a drink. Mam has never drunk a drop of alcohol in her life. When I hand dad his drink, he’s glancing around the space.
“Why do you live underground?” He asks while taking a sip of his drink.
“Frank, not now.” My mam tries to wave off his question. Gage removes his gray, long, coat before sitting down. He’s enjoying this far too much.
“My job has me keeping my location a secret.”
“A secret?” My mam’s eyebrows rise into her hairline. “Yeah, I do secret things.” I ramble and walk back to the kitchen area.
“He works for the government.” Gage fills in my bullshit story as I make my mother a cup of tea. I knock back the glass of brandy before pouring out another. Gage is up and walking around. I want to tell him to sit the fuck down.
“Why didn’t you come home for Christmas?” My mam asks the moment I place the tea in front of her.
“I got called away for work,” I lie.
Her small eyes fill with understanding.
My dad is watching me. “You look good,” he says.
My stomach squeezes as Gage makes his way out of the room. “What are you doing?” I ask.
He stops walking. “Just curious.”
“Scarlett is getting dressed. Give her some privacy.”
Gage holds up his hands, but his eyes flash with a question. “She’s taking her time.” He doesn’t think she’s here.
“That’s a lovely name.” My mam sips the tea and I can see the wheels turning in her head. Gage grins as he comes back to the couch and I want them all to leave. I can’t do this. There’s too many people.
“Hello.” My dad speaks and I look up. Scarlett is standing in the kitchen area and she looks startled. Her gaze darts around everyone before they land
on me. The pulse in her neck is visible, but I don’t need to see it to know she’s afraid. I walk to her, cutting them off. I’m hoping the warning in my eyes is enough that she doesn’t start screaming. I clamp down on my own fear and twine our fingers together. Her small hand is damp in mine as I bring her to the couch. Once this part is over, it will get easier, I tell myself.
“This is Scarlett.” Gage and my dad are focused on our joined hands. My mam is beaming up at me.
“This is my brother, Gage, whom you’ve met.”
Gage nods his head and his eyes are filled with questions. I skip ahead to my mam.
“This is my mam.”
I glance at Scarlett and she looks up at me with surprise on her face. I can see it in her eyes, the questions too. My mam rises off the couch.
“It’s so lovely to meet you.”
I release Scarlett’s hand as she steps into my mam’s embrace. “It’s lovely to meet you, too.” Scarlett’s voice wobbles a bit, but she’s doing good. My dad is watching me and I wait until my mother releases Scarlett.
“This is my dad.” My dad approaches Scarlett. I don’t think she’s aware of what she is doing. Her hand reaches back and tightens around mine. I move her close to me. My dad reaches out his hand.
“Lovely to meet you.”
Scarlett takes his outstretched hand and gives it a quick shake. “You too.” Her voice is low, like she’s tired after a day of socializing. I pull Scarlett back towards me, my gaze going to Gage, who hasn’t taken his eyes off me. His jaw is clenched.
“Can I have a word?” He asks.
I wasn’t leaving Scarlett here with my parents. “Not right now.” I try to pass it over.
Gage stands. “It will only take a minute. Scarlett can keep our parents company. She can tell them how you met.”
Is he fucking serious? Is he trying to jeopardize everything?
Scarlett releases my hand and I feel the loss straight away. “It’s okay.” Her words are soft and I don’t trust her for a second. I’m ready to threaten her, but I can’t with everyone watching.
