Defensive Zone

by Catherine Gayle

  I was definitely a sick, twisted bastard.

  And she knew it.

  And she was going to use it against me in the filthiest, hottest way possible.

  Unless I took control of the situation.

  In fact, I got the sense that she was baiting me, trying to goad me into doing exactly that. Like she was trying to get me to spank her again by testing the boundaries, pushing my buttons, seeing how far she could go before I lost the thin rein of control I thought I had.

  She was proving something to me, though. Control? I didn’t have any. None. Anytime I ever thought I’d had control over a situation, it had all been a façade. A big fat lie.

  I couldn’t control a fucking thing. Least of all myself.

  That was the only reason I could come up with to explain why I allowed her to shift her sexy body down the bed, to lower her head so that the curtain of her hair tickled my belly and thighs, to take my cock into her mouth.

  I wasn’t in control of anything.

  Dani Weber owned me.

  She owned every fucking inch of me.

  And it was too late to do anything about it.

  SEX AND SPANKINGS and role play, oh my!

  That was what my life was turning into lately thanks to this fledgling thing I had going with Cody, for lack of a better word. That was more than okay with me, because I’d never had more orgasms in such a short period of time. Orgasms were good for the health, right? I could swear I’d read that somewhere. Maybe in Cosmo. Even if they weren’t, they left me feeling happy and sated, so I had no complaints.

  Cody might want me to call him by his name, but now his status as Dirty Harry was permanently ingrained in my mind. I always called him what he wanted in person or over the phone, but he couldn’t control my thoughts, damn it. The difficult part of it was remembering to call him Harry whenever he came up in conversation, because that was how I’d always referred to him in my life before now…and I was trying to keep up the pretense that nothing between us had changed.

  Ha. Yeah, everything had changed. And thank goodness for that.

  Lately, he’d been busy with training camp, team meetings, gym sessions, physicals, and preseason games. I didn’t mind too much because my fledgling fashion line had been keeping me on my toes. During the day, we were both busy.

  But every night, I basically belonged to him. Even when the team was on the road, my nights were his. We tended to Skype when he was in his room after coming back from the game or having dinner out with the guys—thank goodness he was old enough that he wasn’t stuck with a roommate on the road—and I’d rarely experienced anything hotter. It was like phone sex on crack, mutual masturbation, only we could see and hear everything happening on the other end thanks to strategic placement of our laptops.

  The only thing I enjoyed more than our Skype calls was actually being with him in person.

  Every time I thought about those sessions, I got wet. It didn’t matter what I might be in the middle of, either. Lunch with Mom and Katie, a call to Germany with my brother, a fitting with Bea, a conference with the boutique clothing store manager who was considering carrying my line…

  If he got a boner just as easily as I got wet, he was probably having to do some serious work to keep it hidden from the guys at inopportune moments. Served him right if you asked me, because every time I sat down these days, I was thinking about him. My bottom seemed to be in a near-constant state of ache, both real and imagined, all thanks to Cody and those awful, wonderful spankings. I both loved and hated the reminder. Kind of the same as how I loved and hated the spankings themselves.

  Since Halloween wasn’t too far away, it had been easy for me to stock up on some sexy costumes to wear when he wanted to role play. One night, I’d been a naughty schoolgirl. A couple of nights after that, I’d been a slutty candy striper. Last night, I showed up at his house dressed in a French maid’s costume that was so skimpy I’d had to cover it with a trench coat.

  The role playing brought out a different side of Cody. He really got into it, using different rooms depending on the particular setup he wanted and always staying in character. It was completely adorkable and hot. I couldn’t help but fall for him a bit when he played the beleaguered doctor trying to get the candy striper to do her job or the overworked businessman coming home to a dirty kitchen and a maid who’d been caught stealing food. He tended to spank me those nights, but these spankings were more playful and sexy than that first one. And they were always followed by a few rounds of kinky sex, leaving us both sated and exhausted.

  What I loved most about our secret arrangement was that he wasn’t cautious with me, whether it was during a spanking or when we fucked. Not at all. He didn’t treat me like I was some fragile flower and he had to be careful not to break me.

  Nope, everything between us was wild. He fucked me with abandon. He spanked me like a barely contained beast. It was glorious, particularly when I thought about my previous sexual partners. Really, there was no comparison.

  But keeping our non-relationship relationship quiet in order to follow Cody’s rules was proving to be more difficult than I’d imagined.

  I was honestly trying. I mean, now that I’d gotten him to give in, he’d proven to be better than anything I ever could have imagined. There was no way I wanted to put his position with the team in jeopardy, even if I wasn’t in agreement that my father finding out about us would accomplish that.

  I wanted him here. With me.

  We weren’t really a couple—more like kinky fuck buddies—so if he got traded, it would be awkward for me to follow him to wherever he ended up. That might cross the line between pseudostalking and actual stalking. But good gourd, there were way too many ways for me to possibly let something slip. Even if I did, it would be purely accidental.

  Take Bea’s fitting today, for example.

  I’d finished the sexy dress I’d promised to make her, and once she had it on, even Bea agreed she was the bomb. Her ta-tas were on display like a freaking boobtastic smorgasbord, and if she put on the pair of killer boots I wanted her in, her legs would be totally hot.

  Seriously, I’d do her.

  But since Cody and I weren’t being seen together in public, we couldn’t exactly go on a double date with Bea and one of his teammates. Hell, I couldn’t even get Cody to convince one of the guys to take her out on a blind date, because doing something like that would bring up too many questions about why he was trying to hook up someone he only knew through me. So, I’d had to resort to getting Jamie involved. Because Bea was going on a date, damn it, whether she wanted to or not. And there was no good reason it shouldn’t be with a hot hockey player.

  Jamie’s first suggestion had been Koz, mainly because the guy was a total fuckup, and as the team captain, my brother-in-law could pretty much force the guy to do whatever he wanted as penance for Koz’s sins against humanity. I’d nixed that one in a flash, because A) Koz was way too young for Bea, B) Koz was a freaking douchenozzle, and C) hell to the fucking no.

  The problem was there weren’t too many other guys on the team these days who weren’t practically as young as Bea’s students and who also weren’t already taken.

  Personally, I was leaning toward Hammer. Chris Hammond was a freaking grown-up and didn’t pretend otherwise. He had kids, so he didn’t act like he was a kid himself. And he was hot. Not as hot as Cody if you asked me, but Hammer couldn’t help the fact that he wasn’t a ginger. No one had control over their own DNA. And he looked good as a blond, anyway.

  Jamie tried to work his magic, but Hammer couldn’t do it. Something about his daughters and their bitch mother (my word for her, not his) and whatnot. The more I heard about Hammer’s ex, the less I liked her…and I’d never even met the woman. She’d better hope it stayed that way, too, because I wasn’t very good at keeping my thoughts to myself. Katie was always telling me I had diarrhea of the mouth. My sister was probably right, at least about this.

  My next thought had been Luddy. Bu
t apparently Luddy had a girlfriend now. He’d met some chick while he was in the hospital after getting shot in the leg during a riot last postseason, and now they were a thing. Damn him. But I supposed there was something to Cody’s whole candy striper fantasy, after all, and Luddy was the proof. Granted, I didn’t know if she’d been a candy striper, but that wasn’t the point.

  Anyway, Jamie ended up deciding it needed to be Dylan Poplawski to do it, after it came down to either him or Cole Paxton. And Colesy was gay, so that suggestion was met with a big hell no, too. I mean, I didn’t think that would be fair to either Colesy or Bea. Not a solution, thanks, brother-in-law. So that was how Poplawski won Jamie’s vote.

  The problem was, I didn’t really know the guy.

  He’d only joined the team last season, so… Yeah. Third line winger. Not too hard on the eyes but nothing to write home about, either. Kind of a jokester, but that should work well for Bea, since she was constantly making cracks about herself, despite my numerous reminders that she wasn’t allowed to pick on herself anymore, damn it. I didn’t have a bad feeling about him, but I didn’t get the sense that he was the right guy for Bea, either. Maybe he’d prove me wrong.

  But whatever. I wasn’t trying to get her married off and making babies and shit. The point was, homegirl was going on a date, and she was going to look like a million bucks when she did it. And Jamie had promised to threaten Poplawski to within an inch of his life if the dude didn’t do everything humanly possible to be sure Bea felt like a million bucks, too.

  Yeah…um…where was I going with all that? Oh, right. Keeping the seekrit relationship that wasn’t a relationship a secret. So, she was at my place for the final dress fitting, and I was telling her all about her blind date with Pops. (And that was another strike against the guy, not that it was his fault. But seriously? Pops? Made him sound like somebody’s grandpa, even though he was only in his early thirties. If I were him, I’d demand the guys come up with something better.)

  I nudged Bea and twirled my finger to get her to turn in a slow circle while I took a step back so I could examine the whole picture. “So you’re going to wear this with those boots we found last week, and you’re going to do your hair in that twisty up-do thing like you had that day,” I said.

  “That messy bun?” She rolled her eyes. “That was my just-finished-the-longest-week-ever-and-I-don’t-care look.”

  “Whatever. It was hot. You’re doing it.”

  “My mama will kill me if she finds out.”

  “So don’t tell her.” I rolled my eyes. Why on earth would her mother ever need to know how she’d done her hair on a date? Mama needed to butt out, much like my father needed to do when it came to his offspring.

  “Hmph,” she replied. But she pulled her silky black hair up off her neck, twisted it a few times, and held it in a halfway decent imitation of the ’do I was talking about. “And what are you wearing?”

  “My pj’s, since I’ll be spending the evening on my couch watching an Outlander marathon,” I said, keeping my expression as neutral as possible. Because hell no, I wasn’t wearing my pj’s that night or watching TV, even if Outlander featured another hot ginger. I’d either be in some naughty role-play outfit or—preferably—nothing while Cody bent me over his knee and spanked me. Or fingered me against the door. Or handcuffed me to the bed and licked my pussy until I screamed his name. Or bent me over the banister and fucked me senseless.

  Or maybe all of the above. Yeah, that sounded like a good plan. I’d be on board.

  “Oh, no you don’t, mamacita.” She even gave me a finger wave in combination with a head shake. “You said this was going to be a double date with you and your redheaded hottie. That was the only way I agreed to do this. You aren’t staying home and sending me out with some guy I’ve never met before.”

  “That’s kind of what a blind date is,” I hedged. “It’ll be good for you. You can meet new people. Show off your new body. Try new things. Expand your horizons and whatnot.”

  “I don’t need to expand anything. Expanding was my problem.” She patted her belly, as if that proved her point. But in this dress, it looked nice and smooth, just like it did in all the clothes I made for her.

  I rolled my eyes. “Was. Past tense. You’re a gorgeous woman with an amazing personality. It’s time for you to get out of your shell, and if I went with you, you’d use me as a shield.”

  “Your tiny, perky ass couldn’t shield my big ass from anything.”

  I gave her my best glare. “Mine isn’t tiny, thank you very much. It’s about the same size as yours, but you’re still wearing your Fat Glasses when you look in the mirror. They’re skewing your reality. Enough with putting yourself down. You’re going. You’ll enjoy yourself. End of story.”

  “Just come with me. I’ve at least met Harry before, so you two can be my buffer if this guy’s a dud.”

  “He’s not going to be a dud. Besides, Cody and I can’t do that. We can’t be out together with his teammates.” Shit. The words came out before I thought better of them. Back to that whole diarrhea-of-the-mouth thing…

  “Cody?” Bea hitched a brow in question, a sly smile brightening her face so much she might freaking blind me. “Since when do you call him Cody and not Harry? And why can’t you two be out with his teammates?”

  That woman was devious, and I’d do well to remember it. “Ignore me. I’m just being stupid.”

  “You’re many things, my friend, but stupid is not one of them.”

  “Well, I’m saying things I shouldn’t, which is stupid. So just…” I let out a frustrated sigh, wishing I’d kept my big, stinking mouth shut. But since I’d already opened it, that served as a good reminder about something else, anyway. “Look, you’re going. And you’re going to have a great time. But promise me something?”

  She narrowed her eyes. “What kind of something?”

  “Don’t say anything about me and Harry when you’re out with Dylan, okay?”

  She glared at me for so long I thought she was going to demand I tell her more. But finally, she said, “No can do, chica. You two have to come with us.”

  I let out a pent-up breath. “You’re being impossible.”

  “That’s why you love me.”

  She had a point. I scowled to let her know how I felt about it. “Fine. I’ll figure it out.” Don’t ask me how I would manage it, but I would.

  Somehow.

  “You need to make me something else with one of these corset things.” She turned to the side and checked herself out in the floor-length mirror. “Because you were right. It makes my boobs look like normal boobs, not flapjacks.”

  That was definitely something I could do. I grinned a mile wide. “Deal.”

  “On second thought, maybe two more things.”

  “Does this mean you’re planning to go out on more dates?” I asked, trying to keep my amusement in check.

  “I don’t know…but it wouldn’t hurt to be prepared, right?”

  “Never.” Just like I always tried to be prepared for whatever Cody might throw at me. Which was why I’d gone back to one of the Halloween stores this morning to get another costume for tonight. One for each of us, actually. And the store happened to be one of the adult-themed costume shops, complete with all sorts of things that had nothing to do with costumes and everything to do with fun times between consenting people of appropriate ages.

  I wanted to surprise him. I just hoped he liked what I’d bought as much as I thought he would. Because there wasn’t a doubt in my mind that I would love them.

  LATE THAT AFTERNOON, after I’d finished up all my work for the day but still had an hour to kill before I expected Cody to text me the all-clear, I headed next door and let myself into Katie and Jamie’s house through the back door.

  Oreo greeted me by trying to wind her way through my legs, so I bent over to scratch her behind the ears. Giving her what she wanted was the best way to avoid Death by Tripping Over Stealthy and Demanding Cat.


  “Hey, stranger,” Katie said, coming around the corner with a bunch of sheet music in her hands.

  “Hey, yourself. What do you mean by stranger, though?”

  My sister shrugged. “You just don’t seem to be coming over to raid my kitchen as much except for when the team’s on the road.”

  Yeah…because Cody had been making sure I was fed when he was in town. I wasn’t being very covert, apparently. “It’s crazy. I’ve discovered these amazing stores,” I said, sarcasm dripping out of my pores with every word. “They sell groceries. Food on every aisle! Who knew?”

  “Mm hmm.” My sister wasn’t buying it. Damn her. “You also haven’t been obsessively asking Jamie every tiny little thing he could ever have possibly observed about Harry’s habits. In fact, since that night we had the party, you’ve hardly mentioned Harry at all. Don’t tell me you’ve given up. I’ve never known you to give up on anything. Not even in Monopoly when you were clearly beat. You sold off all your properties, but you refused to concede.”

  The radio silence about Cody was intentional, of course. Because I didn’t want to accidentally slip up and say more than I should. But maybe I was taking things too far, rousing suspicion in an effort to avoid that very same suspicion.

  Good gravy, what did I have to do? This was a lot more difficult than I’d anticipated. I supposed I should look for some sort of healthy balance between spilling the beans and neurotically pseudostalking, whatever that might look like.

  “I haven’t given up,” I said, hoping she wouldn’t see right through me. I’d never been a very good liar, so I didn’t usually try it. “I’m just giving him a breather so he can come to his senses and realize I’m the best thing that’ll ever happen to him.”

  Katie sat down in the armchair in the living room, spreading her sheet music out on the coffee table in front of her. “Bullshit.” She didn’t even bother to look up at me when she said it.