I shake my head quickly.
“Dylan.” Oh Mister persistent.
“Nothing’s changed for me but has it changed for you?” I ask quickly, getting out the question I feared the answer to before I can think myself out of it.
“No,” he answers firmly.
“So you still want this?”
He drops his head and it hits the headboard with a loud thump. “Yes, whatever the fuck this is, I still want it. You’re in control here, Dylan. You have all the fucking control.” His eyes are burning into mine with the same intensity they’ve always shown for me. I’m in control? Of what? Of us? I decide not to probe because I’m not sure I want to know the answer. He lets out a forceful breath that warms my face. “If something would have happened to you tonight…” His eyes close tight and the crease in his brow appears. Oh Reese. The man’s mood swings are enough to give me permanent whip lash.
“Nothing happened. I’m okay. I called you and you came for me.” I reach out and stroke his face as his eyes pop back open, green and blazing. His tenseness softens a bit.
“I tried locating Heather and sorting this shit out with her but I didn’t find her. All fucking weekend I’ve been looking.” He grits his teeth. “She wasn’t at her house and she’s not answering my calls.” I swallow loudly and he shakes his head. “I’m fucking dealing with it I just wanted you to be prepared. Fred didn’t deliver that package so just don’t open any that aren’t from him. Okay?” I nod. Jesus. I really don’t want to have to deal with this again. But if Reese is dealing with it then I’m sure it will be dealt with, in a very Reese like manner no less. “But after tonight, Dylan, I don’t want you there by yourself.” His hands grip my waist and pull me closer to him, our foreheads falling together.
“I don’t want to be there by myself either, but I want to keep an eye on my shop. It’s important to me. It’s mine and I’ve worked hard for it.” His hand reaches up and pulls my bun loose, letting my hair fall down my back. “I’m going to have a door installed at the top of the stairs. I’ll call about getting it done along with the window repair and a security system tomorrow. I can’t believe I never thought about having some type of system in place already.” He nods at me but I know that isn’t what he wants to hear. I lean in and kiss him gently. “I’ll be fine, I’ve lived there on my own for three years. Plus, I have you and you’re only five minutes away if something happens.”
His hands brush lightly down my back, playing with the ends of my hair. “It will never take me five minutes to get to you. I think I made it there in two tonight.” I giggle slightly and see his lips curl up. “I might be getting a few red light camera notifications in the mail.”
“Worth it?” I ask, running my hands through his hair.
“Worth it. You hungry?”
I nod frantically and he laughs, the infectious sound pulling me in with him. “Sit tight.” I’m slid off as he hops out of bed, disappearing down the hallway as I watch his glorious backside stride away. Laughing quietly at the realization that he always asks me if I’m hungry after sex, I grab one of his pillows and press it to my face, inhaling deeply as his voice comes down the hallway.
“Do you like your pizza cold or heated up?
“Cold.” Yum. Cold pizza and a sleepover with Reese? Yes please. Glancing around the room, I spot his iPad on his dresser. I scramble out of bed and grab it, flipping it open and turning it on. I have some googling of a certain CPA to do. The screen comes to life. Oh. Oh my. The wallpaper is a picture of me, in this bed. I’m sleeping, curled up on my side with the sheets covering me up to show only a tiny bit of cleavage. My hair is a mess of blond waves that are spilling down my right shoulder and my lips are parted. The camera is mainly focused on my face and I look to be in a deep sleep. I look up and see Reese staring at me, stopped in the doorway carrying our food.
“Umm, you found my iPad I see.” He moves towards the bed and puts the plates down on his nightstand, his eyes only momentarily leaving mine. “Nobody sees that. I would never show that to anybody.”
Placing it down on the bed, I get up on my knees and crawl to the edge where he’s standing, pulling him towards me and wrapping my arms around his neck. After a moment’s hesitation, he wraps his arms around me and relaxes against my body. “You’re not mad? I can take it off.”
I reach around and place my hand over his mouth, silencing him. “I’m not mad. It can stay on there.” Dropping my hands, I scoot back over and reach out for my plate playfully as his smile returns.
“Cold pizza huh? I thought I was the only other person that still preferred it cold to heated.”
I take a bite and shake my head. “I hate heated leftover pizza. The cheese gets all rubbery and gross.” He drops a chilled bottled water in my lap and I yelp. “So, why did you take that picture of me?”
He stops chewing briefly, looking over at the iPad on the bed. “I don’t know. I think I just wanted a reminder of you in my bed, just in case you refused to get back in it.” I laugh and he winks at me. “I watched you for hours before I took it. Do you know you make little noises while you sleep?”
I swallow my bite and arch my brow at him. “Little noises? Like what?”
“Like moans. Tiny little whimpers.”
“What? No I don’t.” I unscrew my bottle and take a big sip while he nods at me. “I do not make any noises when I sleep.”
He turns and places his empty plate on his nightstand. Jesus, the man devours his food in a matter of seconds. “Yes you do. You even said my name a few times.” My mouth drops open.
I place my plate down on the night stand before I trample him. “No I did not. Take that back, Carroll.” I’m poking him everywhere, trying to find a weak ticklish spot on his body and he’s only laughing at me in amusement.
“Reese. Oh Reese. Right there.”
I feel my face redden. “You’re evil.” I scoff before I roll off him and lie back on my pillow, pulling the covers up over my head. Good Lord, I hope he’s joking because if he isn’t, how embarrassing is this?
His laugh shakes the bed and I feel the covers slowly slide down to reveal his face hovering over mine. “Love.”
“What?” I try to pull the covers back up but he holds them down. I’ve never been told I talk in my sleep before or make any weird noises, and I’ve had plenty of sleepovers with Juls and Joey. Of course, I doubt they watch me for hours after I pass out. Humph. He climbs under the covers with me and pulls me close to him so that we’re nose to nose.
“So, I hear we’re going to be paired up at the wedding.” His hand trails down my shoulder to my waist and holds me there as I try to keep my smile at bay. “You okay with that? It will be like a date you know. Rather intimate.” His lip curls up and I give into it.
“I’m okay with that. I have been on a few dates before. Have you?”
“No, well not in a really long time.” A really long time? What classifies a really long time? Why is he so against dating now? I push these questions out of my head and focus on another.
“Have you always been monogamously casual with girls?” This has definitely been on my mind recently. I had initially pegged him as a total player with multiple women at all times but had never dared to ask.
His eyes flick to mine quickly before he drops them. “No.” I reach up and run my hand down his arm, rubbing his shoulders the way he likes and seeing his eyes close slowly. “I’ve never really wanted to be before you.” I stop breathing at his admission. Holy shit. Was Joey right? Am I a game changer? My hand stills on his bicep and his eyes shoot open, locking onto mine. “You make me want different things, things I’ve never wanted before.”
“Why?” I force out and continue rubbing his arm. I need to know the answer to this. I want to know if his reasons are the same as mine. I’ve experienced more before but not in the way that I want with Reese. I want everything with him.
He keeps his eyes on me and sighs softly. “I don’t know, but I can’t stand the idea of not b
eing monogamously casual with you. I have no desire to be with anyone else and the thought of you with another man,” his hand comes flying up through his hair, stopping my massage, “it fucking infuriates me.”
Well, that settles that. Like there’s any other man on the planet that I want to ever be with now that I’ve experienced this one. I scoot in closer and continue working his arm, reaching around towards his back. “I know the feeling,” I reply as his eyes close shut again, his lips quivering into a smile. Silence falls between us and I let my mind wander while I work his back and shoulder. I feel like I’m making progress with Reese, progress out of the casual zone and towards something more serious which I am dying to sprint to. But I know I can’t rush him and he’ll have to do this at his own pace if he even wants to. If I’ve learned anything from the past few weeks with him, it’s that he does everything at his own pace. He likes to be in control, even though he told me that I have it all which completely threw me for a loop. I’m chalking that up to him just worrying about my safety. He was obviously scared for me and when you’re scared, you say crazy shit. He likes to show how much power he has and his authority over situations, as he clearly displayed when he destroyed my dress. So I’ll let him control this, control us because I like the pace he’s taking. As long as he takes me with him.
Nineteen
After giving him a decent one handed massage and enjoying all of his tiny little moans of pleasure, Reese flips on his back and pulls me on top of him. He scoots up so that his back is against the headboard and we’re chest to chest. All the tension in his face is gone and the only thing bothering me anymore is my now stiff hand from his drawn out rub down. His hands wrap around my waist, tightening their grip and I feel him, his desire for me growing against my backside.
“Missed your face,” I whisper and see his lip curl up in the corner.
“Just my face?”
“Never.” I move in slowly and capture his mouth with mine; licking along the seam of his lips until he opens up for me, which only takes half a second. I relish his minty flavor and moan into his mouth. His tongue strokes mine in a way that sets my skin on fire and I’m desperate for him. Tangling my hands in his hair, I pull him closer to me and rub my chest against his. His hands run up my back, tickling along my spine and grazing around towards my front. I’m not sure what he’s better at, touching or kissing. Both send me into a frenzy where I feel like I’m going to combust at any moment. His callused hands expertly squeeze my breasts. “Mmm, right there.” I kiss him along his stubble jaw and towards his ear. “I need you.”
His mouth runs down my body between my breasts, kissing and licking every inch of me. “Dylan, I want to do something.”
My lips pull at his ear and I release it enough to reply, “Anything.” Because I would do anything with this man. It’s obvious to everyone at this point. I feel his hot breath on my chest and he hesitates, causing me to lean back and brings his face up to mine. “Anything,” I repeat. His adam’s apple rolls in his neck and his lips part.
“I want to make love to you.”
I gasp, completely shocked and unprepared for this request. I was honestly expecting something along the lines of anal play which I was totally up for with him, even though I’ve never done it before. The thought of anal sex terrified me once but this, this request that he’s just thrown out between us? I’m not sure there’s anything more terrifying. But I want to, and I can at least try right? For him, for Reese Carroll, for the look he’s giving me right now, yes. I can at least try.
My heart constricts so much that I reach up and place my hand on it, making sure it didn’t just beat for the last time. He wants to make love to me. Love. Not fucking. My mind is scrambling for words. He’s studying me, waiting for my response. I know I’ve been silent for at least several minutes and I’m sure it’s killing him inside but he’s not showing it. His face is soft and pleading, eyes searching mine and conveying that we can do this. That I can do this.
“Okay,” I say finally, and I think we’re both shocked that I actually spoke. “I just need to use the bathroom first.” He grins wide, my favorite lines appearing and kisses me quickly on the lips as he lifts me off him. Without a glance back, I scurry into the bathroom and close the door behind me.
Shit. I’m about to make love to a man that I’m struggling to not fall in love with? What am I insane? I stare at myself in the bathroom mirror and quickly comb my fingers through my hair. My cheeks are flushed, my nipples are hard, and I’m beyond ready for him between my legs. Everything about me is ready for this right now, everything except for what’s burning inside my chest cavity. I can’t even begin to imagine what making love to him consists of. Fucking him is intense and borderline intimate as it is. And that’s definitely all we’ve done so far. If I didn’t know it before, his request just confirmed it. So what exactly am I in for? Have I ever even made love before? I think long and hard about that as I quickly use the toilet. No, no way. Not with Justin. I’m not even sure he’s capable of making love to anyone. He was always so distant when we were having sex that he barely kept eye contact with me. And making love consists of eye contact I’m sure. I hurriedly wash my hands and try to mentally prepare myself for what’s about to happen as I exit the bathroom and return to his bedroom. I’m halted in my tracks. Oh God.
I’m stopped in the doorway by the sight of candles lit and covering both nightstands, providing an amber glow throughout the room. Reese is messing with his phone as he places it on the docking station on his dresser when he turns to me, seeing my expression and straightening instantly. “Too much?”
I bite my lip and shake my head. It’s perfect, he’s perfect. “No, I like it.” I settle on the bed, kneeling and resting back on my heels as I watch him continue playing with his phone. He’s looking for a song and I’m almost one hundred percent sure I know what song he’s looking for. Damn it, I need to look up those lyrics. But that’s not what starts playing as he walks over towards me. “Look after you” by The Fray pours through the speakers. I’m familiar with this song and its lyrics that will surely rip my heart out if I he’s not trying to tell me something with this selection. “This isn’t cliché is it? Candles and music?” he asks as he runs his hands through his hair and down his face.
I smile playfully at his nervousness. “No, there’s nothing about you that’s cliché.” This is completely true. I’ve never met a man like him before and I doubt I ever will. Reaching out to him, he slips his hand in mine and allows me to pull him towards me. “Make love to me, handsome.”
I see it, the layer of anxiety drop in front of me as he crawls onto the bed and pushes me onto my back. Settling between my legs, he begins kissing me in the gentlest way possible. There’s tongue, because with him there’s always at least some tongue, but it’s different. I’m used to the rough, quick strokes of his against mine, against my lips, but these strokes are much more unhurried and tender. Groaning softly into his mouth, I’m quickly melting around him and I’m suddenly not sure what kind of Reese kissing I prefer. His hard I want you now kisses are insanely hot but this, the let me make love to you kisses are radiating through my body, sparking something untouched. He slowly works his way down, kissing every part of me with the same gentle mouth I just personally got very acquainted with. The song begins to play again. He’s put it on repeat? I feel his hot breath between my legs and arch up into him.
“Yes, God yes.” The first long lick causes me to fist the sheets tightly between my fingers. I pull my bottom lip into my mouth and bite it hard as he works me.
“Look at me,” he pleads and I immediately drop my gaze, meeting his green eyes. He’s watching me, capturing my every response to his movements and I’m not holding anything back. His tongue laps in and out, around and between every fold and dip. He’s even somehow making this more intimate with his unrelenting stare. His strokes are soft but carry the perfect amount of pressure. I don’t want to come yet so I concentrate on the lyrics of the song to give m
e a distraction. Like that’s possible. The man’s mouth is a machine.
There now, steady love, so few come and don't go
Will you won't you, be the one I'll always know
When I'm losing my control, the city spins around
You're the only one who knows, you slow it down
Damn these lyrics. I’m not sure about him but they are definitely pushing every emotional button in my body. He moans against me and my eyes roll back into my head, the sensation moving through me like a current. His lips pull my clit into his mouth and I cry out, unable to hold back any longer. “Reese.” I’m panting and moving my hips against his mouth as I come long and hard. His tongue laps up every ounce of my arousal, slowly and tentatively, keeping me on the brink of another orgasm. Gradually releasing me, he places sweet kisses on the insides of my thighs as I stare down at him.
“Come up here.”
He crawls up my body and settles between my legs, gazing down at me as he positions himself at my entrance. I feel him, right there and know that the slightest movement will plunge him into me. But he doesn’t move. His hands hold my face and I stare up at him, hearing the beginning of the song and smiling.
“I like this song.”
“Me too,” he whispers, bending and trailing kisses to my ear. With a slow push, he’s in me and I grip his back tightly, gasping and clinging myself to him. “Fuck,” he says into my ear before he leans up and holds himself above me. Keeping my gaze, he begins moving slowly, his hips thrusting gently into mine. I stare at his chest as it tightens with each push, the muscles in his abdomen rippling with his movements. He’s never been this unhurried with me. This is different, way different than what we’ve done before. The intimacy is pouring straight out of him into me and I feel him everywhere. His eyes are soft and warm, penetrating mine and conveying unspoken words that I pray I’m not misreading. I want to tell him so many things in this moment as he lovingly strokes me, in and out, but I don’t. I wrap my legs around him and let myself feel it.
Sweet Addiction Page 23
