"Yes, you've said that a couple times. I'm not a prize to be won you know. What if I wasn't a doctor?" I asked.
"But you are a doctor! So why even entertain that line of thinking?" he asked, pulling his phone from his pocket for the umpteenth time.
"Would you still date me if I was—say—a file clerk or a waitress?" I asked a little irritated.
"Why would you even ask that? Why would you want to be a waitress or a file clerk?"
I shook my head. "You don't get it."
"You're a doctor, so there's no reason to be having this conversation. I don't want to fight with you during the little time I have to offer you today," he said with irritation in his tone.
Offer me?
At that moment I felt like I did in high school, insecure, and not good enough for him. All the negative feelings that I tried so hard to forget came flooding back, and the fat girl I tried to melt away in the sauna, sweltering in a plastic running suit, sat down right next to me and screamed in my ear, "I'm back!"
I began to play with the ends of my hair, a nervous tick that I had in high school whenever I was feeling anxious. Cooper never made me feel like that. He always accepted me for who I was, and he always seemed to know my full potential even if I didn't know it yet.
I looked at Jay, disappointed at the direction the conversation had taken, and as I opened my mouth to say something else, he put his finger up to my lips to cut me off. His phone had begun to ring, and he wanted to answer it.
"Hello—okay—yes," he said over the phone.
"Your office?"
"Yes. I'm so sorry; my staff is getting ready to burn it down if I don't head back right now."
"No problem," I said, relieved that we wouldn't have to continue the awkward conversation.
"Did you need a ride? It's no trouble at all," he asked.
"Oh no. Thank you for the offer. I'll walk."
"Okay, but only if you're sure?" he asked, already halfway out of the bleacher section.
"Yeah, I need to walk off the hot dog anyway," I said with a smile, motioning him to leave.
His phone rang again as he ran up the stairs. I shook my head, watching him leave. He wasn't all I had imagined him to be, but that wasn't his fault. How could I ask anyone to live up to my fantasy, when I couldn't even live up to my own.
Chapter Nine
Cooper
I moved around the empty apartment, reminiscing about all the good times. To think I was so scared to make the first move, fearing I might lose her, when in reality—I never had her in the first place.
I knew what I had to do, but I didn't want to admit it to myself, let alone her. There was a jiggling at the door that caught my attention.
The door creaked open. "Hi," I said.
"Hi," Ella replied softly.
"I was just leaving."
"No. I'll be in my room. I'll leave you alone," she said, heading to her room.
ELLA
Quickly, I grabbed onto my door knob, when the doorbell rang.
Oh my goodness. Please don't be Jay.
I tried to get to the door first, but Cooper beat me to it.
He opened the door to find a messenger standing on the other side with a manila envelope and a clipboard, which he handed to Cooper, and said, "Please sign for this."
Cooper signed, took the envelope, and read the writing on the front. "It's for you," he said handing me the envelope.
Slowly, I pulled the flap open and pulled out a plane ticket. The note that came with the ticket read:
Please say yes. Love, Jay
I quickly stuck the note back into the envelope, hoping that he hadn't seen it.
"What is that?" he asked.
"Nothing," I whispered.
"That's fine—it's none of my business. You are none of my business anymore," he said, scooping up his duffel bag.
"But—"
"Oh, and I'm moving out," he said sternly, grazing past me, headed to his room.
My jaw dropped at the news. Monster snuggled up to my legs, purring as I stood there paralyzed.
How could I be so naïve?
I wanted to run to Cooper's door and beg for his forgiveness…for another chance. But before I could, my phone rang.
Slowly, and still looking at Cooper's door, I pulled it from my purse. "Hello?"
"Hey beautiful, I have an hour before my next meeting, can I stop by to pick you up?"
"You don't have to. I know what a busy schedule you have," I whispered, hoping Cooper wouldn't hear.
"No. I want to."
Anxiety filled me, wondering if I should go or stay and try to hash things out with Cooper, who apparently wanted nothing to do with me.
"Yeah, I'll be outside in a few minutes," I said, deciding that I was going to tell him it wasn't going to work out, and that I wasn't going to Paris.
I picked up the ticket and my purse, and hurried downstairs.
As I waited for Jay's limo to show up, I looked up at Cooper's bedroom window, wishing I knew what to say to get him to stay. A tear rolled down my cheek, which I wiped away before Jay showed up.
A few moments later, the limo pulled up to the curb and Jay popped out of the back before his driver could even put the car in park.
"Hi," he said, leaning over to kiss me on the cheek.
"What did you wanna do?" I asked, smiling, trying to hide my hurt.
"Let's go take a walk in the park. I haven't been there since high school, and since I'm leaving tomorrow, I wanted to stop by and see the old place," he said, grasping onto my wrist, leading me into the limo.
The drive over to the park was short and palpable. At least for me, it was. I spent the entire ride over wondering what I would say. The driver dropped us off at the curb, and after getting out, Jay put his arm around me, which felt surprisingly uncomfortable. This was the man I had always wanted, and his touch alone made me feel like I was cheating on Cooper.
"Did you get the ticket I sent you?" he asked.
"Yes I did, thank you."
"Well?"
"Umm, I'm still trying to figure out if I wanna go," I said as looked out at the grassy hills.
"You don't know? What's holding you back?"
I didn't reply.
"It's Paris. Who wouldn't want an all-expense paid trip to the most romantic city in the world?"
I stopped walking and turned to him. "I don't think it's the place; I think it's the person," I said, looking at the ground.
"I don't understand. I thought we had something going on? Is there someone else?"
"Well—there wasn't—but now there is."
"Since yesterday?" he asked, understandably confused.
"It's my roommate, Cooper."
"The rheumatologist?"
"No, he's just my roommate, and I need to come clean. He's the doctor, and I'm just a file clerk," I said, awaiting his reaction.
"So you lied to me?" he asked, looking away from me toward the street.
"Yes, but—"
"Is that why you asked about being a waitress?" he asked, interrupting me mid-sentence.
I nodded.
"I thought we had something special. Why would you think that you needed to lie to me?" he asked, still looking toward the street.
"When you mentioned that the help was easily paid to do anything you wanted, I didn't wanna tell you that I was a file clerk, so I lied and said the first thing that came to my mind… a doctor."
He shook his head.
I continued trying to explain my actions. "I had this grand idea of you in my head ever since high school—that you were this perfect man, and no one would ever come close to you. It has blinded me from what I already had in my life. Someone who loved me unconditionally; someone who I just realized I loved, too. I just never knew it."
He put his hands in pockets and shifted his gaze back over to me. "Do you know how hard it is for me to open up to somebody? Like really open up?"
"I'm so sorry for lying to you, but I was ashamed,
and I didn't think you would accept me as is," I said, shifting my gaze toward my feet in shame.
"When we danced at the reunion, I didn't know if you were a doctor or a janitor, I was attracted to you—not a letters attached to the end of your name. But you shouldn't have lied to me. Lying is the one thing I have a hard time getting past. I guess we'll never know if we could've worked out," he said, visibly upset.
"I understand," I said, pulling the ticket out of my purse, handing it back to him.
"No you keep it, consider it a gift," he said, pushing the ticket back toward me.
He wiped away a tear rolling down my cheek. "You know, I looked you up in the yearbook, and I finally remember who you are."
"You do?" I whispered, looking down at my feet again, the insecurities rolling in like a tidal wave.
"You're not that girl anymore. You need to leave her behind. You're so beautiful, and whoever this Cooper is, he's one lucky guy."
I wiped away a tear. "He won't even give me the time of day now. He's been around all these years, and when I finally realize that I love him, what do they say—a day late and a dollar short?"
He chuckled. "You know men and women aren't that different. We all have feelings, and those damn things get hurt. I'm sure he'll come around. I know I would."
I looked up at his beautiful smile, and couldn't help but smile myself.
He pulled his phone out of his pocket and looked at the time. "I'm late! I have to go, are you going to be okay?" he asked, taking a step toward his car.
"Yeah, yeah, I'll be fine," I said, patting him on the chest.
He grabbed my hand and pulled me in for a tight hug. "I'm going to miss you, Ms. Anderson. It was so good to see you, and who knows, maybe we can give it another go at our twenty-year reunion—if the rheumatologist doesn't work out, that is," he said as he kissed the back of my hand.
"I'm gonna hold you to that."
He leaned in and kissed me on the cheek.
"Now go, before your staff has a heart attack."
"Yeah, especially now that I know you can't give them CPR." He chuckled.
"Funny!" I said sarcastically.
I watched as he jogged back to the limo, pulling the ringing phone out of his pocket. After he jumped into the backseat, we made eye contact one last time as he pulled off. I waved, watching him disappear around the corner. And with that, I finally had closure to that chapter in my life.
Chapter Ten
Cooper
"Is everything okay, Dr. Johnson? I saw you walk in upset today and—" Jada, my nurse, asked before I interrupted.
"Yes, of course, everything is okay. Just roommate issues."
"No offense, but why do you still have a roommate?"
"I won't for much longer; I'm moving out. It's time to get my life going," I said, clearing my throat.
"Speaking of life," she replied as I stared at my computer screen, trying to hide my watering eyes.
"Yeah?"
"I've meant to ask you if you weren't busy or anything—I was wondering if you'd like to grab some dinner?"
"Yeah sure, we can go grab food after work."
"No. I mean a real dinner, with real plates and silverware. You know, with real clothes that don't require drawstrings," she said, tugging at her scrub pants.
"Oh," I replied, caught off guard by her offer.
Apparently, I was oblivious to other women's flirtatious advances, having been blinded by my love for Ella. I hadn't flirted with a woman in so long; I probably wouldn't have seen a naked woman lying in my bed holding up a welcome sign.
"I mean if you're seeing someone." she said, holding up her hands, backing up toward the door.
"No, no. I'm not seeing anyone. No one at all."
She stopped mid-step.
"Let's meet tonight at this great little Indian restaurant I know of. It's on Furman Avenue."
"Okay, great. Say eight?"
"Yeah, eight sounds good," I replied, walking around the desk toward her.
"Well, okay then, it's a date," she said with a smile, turning to reach for the door.
"Here, let me get that for you," I said, putting my hand on the small of her back, grazing against her to open the door.
"Such a gentleman, thank you," she whispered next to my ear.
I hadn't been this close to another woman for so long, and I must admit, I liked the attention. She walked out backward, giving me a little wave before she turned to proceed down the hall.
I closed the door and exhaled, walking back to my desk. "A date. Wow! A date," I said to myself.
This probably wasn't the most opportune time to be testing out the waters, but I didn't owe Ella anything. I had already given her too much of me, and I'd be damned if I was going to give her anymore.
I gathered my things off my desk, picked up my duffel bag and headed out of the hospital to get ready.
Twenty minutes later, I found myself slowly walking into the apartment, my eyes darting around the room to see if Ella was home. Realizing she was probably still out from earlier, I rushed into my room. I knew if I saw her, I would lose my nerve to go out with Jada. Even though I knew we weren't together, I still felt a little guilty for bringing another woman to our restaurant. Quickly showering, I threw on a pair of jeans and my go to white V-neck tee shirt and flew out of the apartment and down the stairs just in time to meet Jada at the curb.
"Wow, you look beautiful," I said, after opening up the door to the cab for her.
She stepped out, wearing dark blue skinny jeans, a tight white tank, and a form fitting brown leather bomber jacket. Her hair was out of its normal bun, done in long loose waves which flowed over her shoulders like a waterfall.
"Hey, we kinda match!" she exclaimed.
I looked down at my outfit and laughed. "Yeah, we kinda do."
"Well, it was meant to be," she said, slipping her arm through mine before we walked toward the restaurant.
I opened the door for her, and said, "You're going to like it here."
"I already do," she said, looking up at me, rubbing my arm.
I looked down at the hand rubbing on my arm and smiled. I laid my hand on hers, getting ready to lean in and give her a peck on the cheek when I caught a glimpse of Ella standing across the street watching us.
I paused, unable to take my eyes off her. "Hey, is everything okay? The waitress is seating us," Jada said, waving her hand in my face.
"Huh, oh yeah, let's go," I stuttered, shifting my gaze toward the waitress.
As we were led to our table, I looked back out through the glass door and watched Ella as she made her way to the stairs of the apartment building, where she stopped and glanced over her shoulder at us before disappearing into the building.
I felt awful. I knew how she must've felt, having watched her date other men for the last ten years. I was torn. Even though I felt she deserved to see how the shoe felt on the other foot, I by no means wanted to hurt the woman I still loved.
"Is that your roommate?" Jada asked, looking toward the door.
I shifted my gaze away from Ella. "Yeah, that's her."
"Hmm…"
"What?" I asked.
"Oh, nothing," she said, shaking her head as she took her seat.
Damn! I forgot to pull out her seat.
The rest of the evening was a blur as we ordered and chatted about nothing in particular, but the superficial conversation we were having was just background noise to who my mind was really on. Ella looked so hurt, and I couldn't get the image out of my head.
"Cooper!" Jada said sternly, snapping her fingers in my face.
I shifted my gaze from the door. "Did you say something?"
"Are you with me?" she whispered across the table.
"Why do you ask that?"
"You've been playing with your food for the last half hour," she said, pointing at my plate.
I looked down to see all my food smashed together in an indiscernible pile. "Oh, I guess I wasn't that hungry." I chuckl
ed.
"Do you wanna leave?"
I thought you'd never ask!
"Um, yeah. If you don't mind, I'm kind of tired from all the surgeries," I said, motioning to the waitress for the check.
I wasn't tired—far from it. I just wanted to get back to the apartment to check on Ella. Jada gathered her things and started for the door, walking briskly in front of me. Once on the curb, she stretched out her hand to hail a cab; her movements were deliberate and frantic, and it seemed to me she was in a rush to leave.
Feeling the change in her mood, I asked, "Hey, is everything okay?"
"You know, I thought that you were a good guy. But this date—why would you even bother to go out with me?"
"What do you mean?" I asked, grabbing her hand, pulling her toward me.
"Maybe you should just tell her," she said, pulling away.
"Tell who?"
"Your roommate. The beautiful woman waiting across the street."
"You can tell?"
"Aliens in space can tell," she replied sternly.
"It's not that simple," he replied.
"You obviously love her—how much simpler can you get?" she asked as a cab pulled up to the curb.
She was right, and I felt awful for stringing her along. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have…"
"No! You shouldn't have," she snapped, as she slid into the cab.
She shot me a cold death glare as the cab sped off down the street, leaving me alone on the sidewalk. I shook my head and put my hands in my pockets, realizing I would still have to see her at work.
I took a deep breath and headed across the street.
ELLA
He zipped through the door and headed for his room. "She's really pretty, Cooper."
"Jada? Yes, she is."
"Replaced me already?" I murmured, pretending to watch the television.
Cooper stopped in his tracks, replying sternly, "I never had you, Ella."
My head whipped around from the television—from anger—from frustration—maybe a combination of both.
Addicted To You: A Last Chance Romance (You and Me Series Book 2) Page 7
