I hadn’t stopped thinking about her over the years, even though I probably should have so I could move on. But maybe there was a reason there hadn’t been anybody else for me. I could have fallen for any of the men or women I was with during the time when Lauren was out of my life, yet I hadn’t. I hadn’t even allowed myself to get close enough to do that. Just as she had said she had walled herself off to heal and figure out who she was, I had done the same thing. I had pushed everybody away from me so no one could hurt me again. Sure, I had found friends, had grown close to those at the shop, but I never let anyone else into my soul, into my heart. That place was Lauren’s. And I hoped to hell she’d let me show her that.
“You should come inside,” I said after a moment, not knowing what else to say. “I promise I won’t touch you, promise I won’t make you make any promises you don’t want, but it’s a little too chilly out for you to be sitting on a bench when my place is right behind you.”
She turned at the sound of my voice, her eyes wide. Thankfully, though, there were no tears running down her cheeks. I wasn’t sure I could handle it if she were crying. I’d never been good with Lauren’s tears. I could handle anyone else’s sadness, and was actually one of the ones at the shop that was good for hugs and consoling, but I couldn’t handle it when the love of my life cried. That was probably a fault in my case, considering I’d just thought of her as the love of my life. If she let me, I’d find a way to make it work. If she allowed it, I’d find a way to make everything work.
“I ran again.” Lauren winced, but I didn’t move closer. There were two feet separating us, a large enough space that I couldn’t feel the heat of her, but close enough that I could see every reaction on her face, every bit of the tension in her shoulders and the tight clench of her fists. “I didn’t mean to run. I promised myself that I would never run again. And yet, an hour with you, and all I could do was go back to my old habits. What does that say about me that I did that so quickly?”
I frowned. “There’s nothing wrong with you. I’m going to have to make sure you get that out of your head if we are going to keep talking.” I did my best to put a mock-scowl on my face as I said the words, and her lips quirked up into a small smile. I would count that as a win.
“Since you sound so stern, I guess I should believe you.” This time, a single tear tracked down her cheek, and I couldn’t help but take a step forward and reach out to brush it off her face.
“Don’t cry. I can’t take it when you cry. I don’t quite know what that says about me, but it’s something I can work on. Come inside? Let’s just talk. I promise, we can just talk.”
“Will talking really help? Because what I said at the end there, what I said the whole time…that hasn’t changed in the last five minutes. All that has is me sitting on this bench, wondering what to do. I hate the fact that I ran away again. That’s not me anymore. Yet I went right back to my old ways without even blinking.”
I sat down next to her on the bench, not liking that I was hovering over her. I was already so much bigger than she was, but I tried not to make my size an issue. She was just so tiny compared to me, fragility wrapped up in strength. I’d always thought that, and now hearing about how she had spent the past six years, I thought it even more.
“The fact that you told me everything you did and didn’t break down, not even once, tells me that you didn’t resort back to type—whatever that means. Because, Lauren, I fell in love with a strong woman, and you’re even stronger now. I understand that having me in your life, even if it’s just in passing, could bring back those bad memories, but I really hope that you can take my presence for just a bit longer so you can hear what I have to say.”
She gave me a strange look and then stood up. “I guess we should go back upstairs, because I’m really not in the mood to air all of my dirty laundry to the entire city.”
“Sounds like a plan.” I stood up as well and took her hand. When she didn’t pull back, I once again counted that as a win. If things kept going like this, before I knew it, I’d have a whole jarful of wins.
Soon, we were standing in my living room again, and I didn’t even bother to get her a glass of water. It should have felt awkward, yet just having her near me soothed any anxious nerves I might’ve been feeling. That alone told me that we were here for a reason, and I needed to make sure she understood that.
“I get that seeing me hurts.”
She shook her head. “No, it’s not that. Seeing you just reminds me of who I used to be and everything that I went through.”
I frowned. “I get that, I really do. But isn’t it the same as you looking in a mirror and seeing who you are now? Because every time we look at ourselves, we see the people we have become and those we were in the reflections. And I know that sounds awfully deep, but seeing you again just makes my mind go in a thousand different directions, and all those memories assault me over and over again. Yet I need that. You are the best thing that ever happened to me. Even after all these years, you are still the best thing that has ever happened to me. Maybe that’s saying something about the lack of what I’ve had in recent years, but maybe it’s saying more about what we had when we were together. I know it sounds crazy, and I never used to believe in destiny and fate of all that, but you walked into my tattoo shop for a reason. Of all the places in the world you could’ve gone, you walked in right in front of me. And I can’t take that for granted. I have to believe that it happened for a reason. And because of that reason, I don’t want you to run away again. I don’t want to lose you, have you disappear from my life when I just got you back. And I’m not talking about forevers or promises or anything more, I’m talking about us in general. In this moment. I’ve only had you back in my life for a little over an hour, yet I don’t think I could deal if you left again. I don’t think I could handle it if I were the one to walk away. Because that’s what I would do, Lauren. If you needed me to go because it was too much, I wouldn’t force myself into your life. I would be the one to walk away this time so you didn’t have to. That’s how much I care for you. Before and, frankly, that love never went away. I don’t know what this means, I don’t know what’s gonna happen in the next ten minutes let alone the next ten weeks, but I want you to take a chance on me. I don’t want you to leave. Please, don’t leave.”
Tears flowed freely down her face now, but I didn’t help her wipe them away. I did hold her hand and lowered my head, though. I rested my forehand against hers, and knew I had rambled far too much. Hopefully, she’d been able to glean at least a fragment of what I was feeling from the words.
“I just said a lot.” I let out a laugh and shook my head slowly. “We can take everything I said in shifts if you want, to try and figure out exactly what I meant. But in a nutshell, I loved you then, and that feeling never went away. I just hid it really well because I missed you so damn much. But since you’re back in town, I would love to get to know you again. I would love to figure out who you are and let you figure out who I am. What do you say, Lauren? Do you think you can do that?”
I stood there in silence, waiting for her to finally speak. When she opened her mouth, a laugh rang out, and warmth filled me. She wasn’t laughing at me. There was too much heart in her eyes. No malice or anything else that could break both of us.
“You really know how to lay it all out there, don’t you, Brandon?”
“I try. You should ask my friends. Sometimes, I just don’t know when to shut up.”
She smiled widely then, and the tension in my shoulders eased. “I’d like to get to know you. I want to find out who you are. And you’re right, every time I look into a mirror and see myself, I know what I’ve been through. Looking at you doesn’t bring me back to the pain, looking at you brings me back to the fact that I ran. But the thing is, I needed to run. I needed to become who I am now so I could figure out how to live this new life of mine day by day. My only regret is that I hurt you in the process.”
“Never regret doing what you had
to do to heal. I could say I forgive you for running away, but then I’d have to ask for your forgiveness for pushing you away at the same time. Because we both had our faults. We are both to blame for what happened back then. But now that you’re back, I want to learn who you are. I want to figure out who we could be together because I missed you, Lauren. I missed you in my life. I want you to meet my friends, and I want you to stay. I don’t want to run away, and I don’t want you to run away either.”
“So, what do we do next? Because I feel like we’re going about this backwards. Because I still love you, even though that love should have faded long ago. It couldn’t. It can’t. But I also want to take things a little slow because I wasn’t prepared for you, Brandon. Wasn’t prepared six years ago, and I’m damn sure not prepared now.”
“Well, that part is easy. How about we go to one of the many coffee places that happen to be on every corner of every block in the city and sit and talk? Because I want to know where you’ve been, what you’ve done, and why you’re back. And I’d love to know why you walked into Montgomery Ink.”
She blushed, and I couldn’t help but remember exactly how she used to blush like that when we were together. Because my Lauren had blushed all over. And I’d done my best to lick up every inch of that rosy skin.
“First, stop thinking about sex, Brandon. You’re making it really hard to think when you’re giving me that look with those darkening eyes of yours.”
I held up my hands, caught. “Sorry.”
“Sure, you are. And second, I wanted a tattoo on my side with a few flowers and vines that never break. Because I didn’t break, even if I wanted to.”
“I’m doing your tattoo,” I said quickly. “I know you probably came because of Austin or Maya since they’re the famous ones in the shop, but no one else is touching your skin but me.”
She raised a brow, but she didn’t look angry at my outburst. “You always were possessive.”
I shrugged. “Of course, I am. It’s what I do.” I moved forward and cupped her face again, loving the way she melted into me.
“I want you to do my tattoo, Brandon. I don’t know if I could have gone through with it if I hadn’t seen you at the shop. You were always my artist, you know. Always will be, no matter how many years have passed.”
I didn’t think anything could have made me love her more than I did in that moment. So I did the one thing I’d wanted to do since I saw her walk into Montgomery Ink.
And when she sank into me, I knew that no matter how slow we went at first, no matter how many steps we would need to take to figure out who we were now, I had found my person, my woman.
Finally.
Epilogue
Brandon
Some time later….
I’d known the moment I met Lauren all those years ago that she would be important to me. I just didn’t know how important. I didn’t realize that it would take being apart longer than we were together for me to realize the depth of my feelings for her and the breadth of who we could be together.
We took six months to get to where we were today, and I wouldn’t change any hour—any second—of any of those days. We went slowly like she asked, not touching except to kiss and learn each other’s new lives. Until three months into our new relationship. Making love to Lauren would always be one of the most treasured experiences of my life.
Making love to my wife…well, now, that was something I would never forget until the end of my days—and perhaps even after.
Because, somehow, this woman with all of her strength and grief had agreed to become my wife. That morning, we had spoken our vows, promised our bonds to one another with her new friend Callie by her side, and Derek by mine, and now, we were husband and wife.
I never would have thought that after a long day of working on a tattoo where I had thought that one piece of art would be the sole reason for my good day could lead to this. Everything we had gone through had led to this moment, and I was still blown away by the depth of the feelings I had for this woman.
My Lauren.
My wife.
She stood in front of me, her long hair flowing around her shoulders as she tugged at her wedding dress. The guests had long since left for the evening, and now it was just the two of us in a fancy hotel room about to make love for the first time as husband and wife. I wasn’t going to freak out, not really, but I was damn close to doing so.
“Why did I get a dress with so many buttons?” Lauren wiggled in her dress, trying to reach them, but it only made her breasts jiggle and almost fall out of the top.
I was pretty sure my cock would end up with zipper marks soon if I didn’t get her out of that damn dress.
“That’s what husbands are for,” I said, my voice low and a bit rough.
“Oh, yeah? That’s all you’re good for?”
I growled and made my way to her in three strides, my hands sliding down the back of her dress. Keeping my eyes on hers, I undid the pearl buttons on the back, one by one.
“You’re pretty good at that,” she breathed. “Have a lot of practice, do you?”
My fingers fumbled with a button, and we both let out a nervous laugh. “I was doing okay without practice until you mentioned in.” Unable to hold it back any longer, I kissed her, hard, and finished undoing her dress.
The silky material fell around her, and I helped her step out of it. She wore some sort of corset thing, and I went to my knees right in front of her in thanks.
“Dear God. I think I could come right here, just looking at you.”
“Always the romantic,” she teased, then leaned forward to kiss me.
She’d taken off her shoes already since they were pretty but she’d said they pinched her feet, and she wasn’t all that much taller than me while I knelt.
I cupped her ass, bringing her closer so I could deepen the kiss. Then, somehow, we were on the large, king-sized bed with rose petals scattered beneath us. I kissed down her neck, over the generous swell of her breasts, and along her corset-covered stomach. I kissed her scars constantly, trying to show her in both actions and words how much I valued her—loved her. Now, she didn’t shy away from me like she had the first time.
But that was behind us, as were all of our histories. Every single moment of our time together and apart had been to strengthen what we had together now. I would always remember that, even if some of those memories still hurt. I pushed those thoughts to the side for now and kept kissing her.
“I need you. I need you inside me. We can go slow after the first time, but I don’t want to wait.”
I swallowed hard at Lauren’s words and nodded before moving up to strip out of my clothes. Together, we took off her corset and stockings, each of us wanting to be bare for our first time as man and wife. We would play with those things later, I knew, but for now, I wanted skin-to-skin, and I knew Lauren needed it.
I sucked and licked at her breasts, my hand between her legs as I brought her closer and closer to the edge. She was already so wet and ready, and my cock was hard enough that I knew I’d go quickly, so I didn’t wait.
We’d both been tested and forgone condoms since the beginning of our new path, so it didn’t take long for me to position myself at her entrance.
“I love you,” I whispered, lowering my mouth to hers but not fully kissing her yet.
“Love you back.” She arched up into me as I entered her, her inner walls tightening around me with each gentle thrust.
We’d made love, fucked, and had gone against walls and doors in the past, and I knew we would do all of that again soon, but for this first time as man and wife, we would go slow.
We would just be.
Something we hadn’t been able to do before she walked into Montgomery Ink and back into my life.
Her hips rose, meeting mine thrust for thrust, and when we kissed again, we both came, our bodies far too needy to make this first time last more than a few moments. I didn’t care, knowing there would be extended times in the fut
ure, but for the first time as a true us rather than whom we once were? I would take it.
As she ran her hands down my back, I did the same to her side, my fingers tracing over the lilies, roses, and vines I had tattooed on her. It had taken two sessions, and I’d hated seeing her hurting in any way, but in the end, her ink was the most important piece I had ever done in my entire life. I was as deep in her skin as she was in my soul.
She’d given me something special, and not just her heart.
“I’m so glad I came back.” She played with the ends of my hair that I’d kept long just for her. “It’s as if I never left, and yet those years are what made us who we are now.”
I nodded, too choked up to speak until I cleared my throat. “Crazy to think of everything that’s happened, but I’m so damn glad you’re mine.”
She smiled then, her face pure happiness without any hint of the shadows I’d seen six months before. “And you’re mine, Brandon. Forever.” She waved her hand, the light glinting off the diamond and rubies I’d put there.
“I’ll take that.”
And I would until the end of time. Because while I had thought I was happy before, I now knew that I’d only been at a rest stop in my life until she walked back into it—before trying to run away again.
And with another kiss to my wife’s gorgeous lips, I set about showing her exactly what she’d walked into that fateful day at Montgomery Ink.
Fate and ink had given us a second chance, and no matter what lay in front of us, I wouldn’t take that for granted. Ever.
A Note from Carrie Ann
Thank you so much for reading SECOND CHANCE INK. I do hope if you liked this story, that you would please leave a review! Reviews help authors and readers.
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