Yoss hastily got to his feet. He and Manny walked away, their voices pitched low. I noticed how Manny continued to look my way as he spoke to Yoss and I felt a knot of alarm coil in my gut.
Yoss looked upset. Angry even. His fists were bunched at his side and for a moment I thought he was going to hit Manny. I had never seen Yoss like that with him before. Most of the time he practically defended the pimp. Or worse, he blamed himself for the choices he made.
Manny put a hand on Yoss’s shoulder and said something that made him sag a little. In defeat.
I quickly put my sweatshirt back on, feeling my own sense of defeat.
Manny followed Yoss back over to our spot and waited as he grabbed his deodorant and cologne.
“Where are you going?” I asked, feeling the anger start to simmer dangerously.
He was leaving?
Why couldn’t he just tell Manny to leave him alone? That he wouldn’t do that shit anymore? That he was done selling his body to those disgusting people?
“I’ll be back later,” Yoss muttered, not looking at me. Never looking at me.
“He won’t be gone too long, Imogen. He’ll be back before you know it,” Manny remarked, pulling a cigarette out of his pocket and handing it to Yoss, who took it and immediately lit it.
I didn’t bother to acknowledge Manny. I got to my feet and moved close to Yoss, my back to Manny so he wouldn’t hear me.
“Don’t go, Yoss. Tell him you can’t,” I pleaded.
Yoss swiped deodorant on his armpits and put it back and then spritzed himself with cologne he never wore any other time. I hated the smell of it.
“I have to, Imogen.”
I grabbed his hand, not letting him walk away from me. “No you don’t,” I snarled. “You can say, right now, you won’t do that stuff anymore. We can leave. Tonight.”
Yoss’s face hardened and the look in his eyes scared me. He finally looked at me, but for the first time I wished he hadn’t. “If my life disgusts you so much, you can leave you know. No one is keeping you here,” he spat.
I recoiled, taking a step back. “I just worry about you, Yoss. I see what this does to you,” I implored, lifting my hand to touch him, but he shook his head.
“I take care of my family. This is what I do. I can sleep a little better at night knowing you and Di and Shane and Bug have food in your bellies. That Manny will keep Karla safe from the guys who raped her when she first showed up three years ago. That Bug doesn’t have to worry about getting his ass kicked every other day because Manny knows they’re my friends so he takes care of them.” He clenched his fists. “I do what I’ve got to do to make our lives a little easier!”
I stared at him, horrified. “No one expects you to do anything like that! To put yourself at risk to make sure we’re okay!” I protested.
Yoss glared at me and I shrank. He had never looked at me that way. As if I were bothering him. As if I were a nuisance.
“Sometimes it’s nice to go and buy food like a normal person. Just so, for at least one meal, you don’t feel like such a fucking drain on society.” Yoss brushed through his hair and dropped the comb on our makeshift bed. “I want to be able to provide for that happily ever after you seem to think we’re going to have. How am I going to do that, Imogen? How the fuck can I take you away from here if I don’t have money in my pocket?”
“You could get a job—”
Yoss barked out a laugh. “Yeah, because there are a lot of employers willing to take a chance on a homeless kid. Don’t delude yourself.”
Were we fighting?
Whatever it was, it didn’t feel good.
“I just don’t want you to leave. Not after what we were about to…you know.” I stared at the floor, feeling uncomfortable with our audience, even though Manny didn’t seem to be paying attention.
Yoss’s face softened and he tucked a piece of hair behind my ear.
“Come on. We’ve got to go.” Manny looked thoughtful for a moment, his finger on his chin. “You could come with us, Imi.” I felt cold. Manny gave me a once over. Starting at my feet and slowly working his way up. “I think that could be a very good idea for both of us.” Manny smiled and my mouth went dry.
“No, Manny, I told you already that’s not gonna happen,” Yoss broke in. He gave me a hard shove so that his body shielded me. “She’s too old anyway.”
I couldn’t see Manny because of the barrier Yoss created but his voice pierced my eardrums and I felt genuine terror. “But she looks so much younger. That can work. Why don’t you let the girl answer for herself?”
“No!” Yoss shouted, his hand wrapping around my wrist and squeezing. Hard.
“Imi. What do you say? You want to come with Yoss and me tonight? It won’t take long and then the two of you can come home together. No leaving you here by yourself,” Manny said, stepping around Yoss so that he could see me.
“I don’t think so,” I rasped, nausea bubbling up in my stomach.
Manny cocked his head to the side. “Are you sure? You’re looking very thin, sweetheart. Some money for a decent meal is just what you need,” he said kindly. So gentle and concerned. It would be so easy to do what he wanted. He spoke with soft persuasion. Like politicians and cult leaders.
He was the scariest person I had ever met. Scarier than Tag or the faceless monsters in the dark.
Because Manny hid his evil with a kind face and an easy smile.
“She’s not going anywhere. She’ll be fine. Shane will be by later,” Yoss’s voice held a hint of his own fear. “Let’s go,” he said to Manny. He quickly looked back at me, his eyes bright and his face sad. “I’m sorry,” he said.
I bit down on my lip so I wouldn’t sob. He hugged me tight, kissing the sensitive spot just below my ear, whispering something I couldn’t quite hear.
I clung to him, not wanting to let go.
He pulled out of my grasp.
And then he was gone.
The Present
I woke up to laughter.
It was a strange sound that didn’t quite fit.
Deep and genuine, it filled the room.
I sat up in bed and looked around in a daze. For a minute, it was like every other morning.
Lonely.
But then I remembered Yoss and I had a momentary panic. What if he had left? What if he had slipped out while I slept?
I held my hand over my racing heart and tried to calm my breathing.
Then I heard the laughter again.
It wasn’t just one voice.
It was two.
I frowned and got out of bed, finding my robe and putting it on.
I could smell brewing coffee as I walked out into my living room. I wasn’t sure what I expected to see.
Yoss and Lee chatting in my kitchen was definitely not it.
Yoss was chopping onions with a smile on his face. The kind of smile that I hadn’t seen in far too long.
Lee was standing at the stove, dropping cut peppers into a pan. The smell of cooking eggs and vegetables made my stomach growl.
“I told her that Madonna was definitely not the look for her. She seemed to take it very personally that I didn’t appreciate the cone bra getup she had on,” Lee snickered, flipping the omelet.
“I can’t see Imi in a Madonna costume. Did you take pictures?” Yoss asked, chuckling. It warmed me to hear. Then I realized what they were talking about.
“Actually, I think I have some on my phone—”
“Don’t you dare, Lee Cutler,” I warned, stepping into the room.
Lee looked up and grinned when he saw me. “If it isn’t Sleeping Beauty,” he teased.
Yoss gave me a shy smile, which I returned.
“Yoss, can you get some plates? Imi keeps them in the cabinet by the sink,” Lee instructed, waving the spatula.
“Sure.” Yoss turned to me. “Uh, I made coffee. I can get you some. You still like it with milk and sugar, right?” Yoss asked.
“That sounds great,” I
told him. Lee waggled his eyebrows once Yoss’s back was turned.
I returned his look blandly.
“Yoss said you had a late night so I turned your alarm clock off and let you sleep in a bit,” Lee said, flipping the omelet.
“You turned my alarm off? What time is it? I’ll be late for work!” I checked the time on my phone and saw that it was only seven thirty. I had plenty of time.
Lee rolled his eyes. “Chill out, the world won’t fall apart if you’re a little late. You need to work on loosening that rigid control you have over every aspect of your life.”
I noticed Yoss was watching the exchange between Lee and me with interest.
“You’re making a mess in my kitchen,” I pointed out.
“And your house is a pigsty. What’s your point?” Lee volleyed back, not bothered in the least my gruff attitude. “Yoss and I have been having a great talk. I came over to bring you some happy eggs that Kevin brought home last night. You know they’re called happy eggs because the little hens get lucky. No artificial insemination for them. Nope. It’s just them and the rooster and a whole lot of hot poultry action.”
“Yeah, yeah, I get it. Thanks,” I interrupted.
Lee glared at me before going on, “Anyway, I came over and Yoss answered the door. He tells me he’s on old friend of yours and you’re letting him stay here. I told him that the Im I know isn’t one for spontaneous house guests, so he must be special.” Lee gave me a significant look that demanded an explanation.
Yoss put the plates on the counter and Lee filled them with his egg concoction. We all sat down together at my kitchen table. It was beyond odd having them both there. My past and my present lives crashing into each other over omelets.
“So old friends, huh? I’ve never heard you mention a Yoss. Unique name. I would have remember that one,” Lee pestered, taking a bite of egg.
“Where’s Kevin? Shouldn’t you be at your couple’s yoga class this morning?” I asked my friend, evading his questions with a less than subtle change of topic.
Lee made a face. “Kevin decided he wanted to take his mother to breakfast instead. And I wasn’t going to subject myself to an hour with the in-law. If it ain’t a holiday, I’m not doing it.”
“That’s very selfless of you, Lee,” I replied blandly.
“It’s called self-preservation, Im,” Lee corrected. “I’m sure Yoss understands what I’m talking about.”
Yoss moved his food around on his plate, not eating. “You could say that.” Yoss put his fork down and stood up suddenly. “I’m going to get a shower, if that’s okay? I was too tired to get one last night.”
“Oh, of course. I warned you about the girly shampoo and I think there’s an extra toothbrush in the medicine cabinet,” I said.
“Okay, thanks.” Yoss turned to Lee who was watching us with that analytical shrinky way of his. “Lee, it was nice meeting you.”
“Sure. It was nice meeting you too, Yoss.”
As soon as Yoss was gone, Lee pounced. “What the hell, Im? Who is that guy? Is he really an ‘old friend?’ Or did you pick him up somewhere? Is he some illicit one-night stand that hasn’t left yet? He’s ridiculously hot, so good for you if he is. Though that doesn’t sound like you at all, which disappoints me greatly.”
“No, I did not pick him up. What he said is the truth. We’re old friends. I knew Yoss when we were teenagers.”
“So, what? He called you and said he’s coming to town and could he shack up with you?” Lee asked incredulously.
“No, he didn’t call me to ask if he could shack up. Who does that anyway?” I scoffed, pushing the eggs around on my plate. I checked the time on my phone again. The thought of going into work filled me with disquiet.
I loved my job. Most days it was the thing that got me out of bed.
Not today.
“Earth to Imogen!” Lee waved his hand in front of my face and I narrowed my eyes. He pursed his lips and looked irritated. “What’s going on? This is incredibly out of character for you. Perhaps you’re not coping with the separation from Chris as well as I had originally thought.” Lee seemed worried. I put my hand on his arm.
“This has nothing to do with Chris. Though he did show up here last night,” I told him.
Lee’s eyes widened. “Chris came here last night? Why?”
“He wanted to pick up his bowling shoes.” Lee gave me a look of disbelief.
“What kind of bullshit excuse is that?” my friend asked.
“Well, whatever, he got his bowling shoes and left. He never saw Yoss. Which is just as well.” I dropped my fork onto the plate and drank the rest of my coffee.
“It’s obvious moving on will be harder for some than others,” Lee remarked pointedly.
“I already feel like a heartless bitch where my ex is concerned, don’t make it worse.” I winced.
Lee put his arm around me, squeezing my shoulder. “You’re not a heartless bitch, Im. I think you were trying to capture something with Chris you had felt before. Maybe with a certain dark-haired man taking up temporary residence in your house.”
I pulled back and looked up at my friend. “Someone’s wearing their shrink Imogen pants today.” I made a face and Lee pinched my cheek as if I were a five year old.
“I’ve shared a room with you and Yoss for all of twenty minutes and I could pick up on the under current between you. He’s your second chance, isn’t he?” Lee asked softly.
“I’m hoping,” I admitted, knowing the words were safe with him.
“Then tell me who he is. Be straight with me, Im. It’s hard to miss the old bruises and scars on his face.”
Lee was my only genuine friend, even if at times it was very one-sided. I didn’t give him much and he knew that.
However, self-imposed isolation was highly over rated.
“I told you about my time as a teenage runaway,” I began and Lee nodded.
“Very briefly. Getting you to talk about anything is akin to pulling teeth,” Lee chastised good-naturedly.
“I know I haven’t been the easiest person to be friends with—”
Lee ruffled my hair in a platonic gesture. “Loving you is very easy, Im. It’s getting you to love back that’s the hard part,” he said softly.
That hurt. More than it should. But he was right.
“Yoss and I were together. When we were teenagers. When I was on the streets,” I explained, feeling strange about sharing my story. Even with Lee.
“So, Yoss was homeless too?” Lee asked, wiping his mouth with a napkin and getting up to take the dishes to the sink.
“Yes. He took care of me. He protected me. And then we were together. I loved him. He loved me.”
Lee turned around and leaned against the counter, his arms crossed over his chest. “That had to make the experience very intense. First love is profound enough without throwing in the whole trying to survive part of it. What happened to the two of you? What happened to him?”
I listened to see whether Yoss was coming out of the bathroom, but all was silent. I made sure my voice was low when I answered Lee. “We were going to go away together. Leave town. That was the plan. Things had happened…” I trailed off, fisting my hand over my steady, thumping heart. “Anyway, we were going to meet underneath the Seventh Street Bridge. The usual spot. Where all of us hung out. He had to take care of some things before we left. He had promised he’d be there. I knew something was off about him but I was young and naïve and refused to see what was right in front of my face.”
Lee snorted. “We’ve all been there. Love makes even the smartest of us incredibly stupid.”
I gave a half smile that I didn’t really feel. “He never came. I went looking for him…”
“Did you find him?” Lee prompted when I didn’t rush to finish the story.
“I found him,” I whispered. Remembering. I couldn’t tell Lee that part.
“And?” Lee asked.
“And nothing. We never went anywhere. I decided
to go back to my mother’s and I never saw him again. Until ten days ago when he showed up at the hospital, nearly beaten to death.”
“You are leaving out some pretty big pieces. There’s more than you’re telling me.” Lee took a drink of his coffee, peering at me over the rim. Then his eyes widened as he made the connection. He put the cup down and smacked his hands on the table. “Wait a second. Is this the new case you mentioned? The one you said was complicated?”
I nodded, swallowing. “Do you see why?”
“So, he’s homeless now. Well not now because he’s staying with you,” Lee deduced. “Is that why he’s here? Because I should probably point out how unethical the whole thing is. Him staying with you like this. Considering you’re his social worker and all.”
“He’s sick, Lee. Really sick. I owe this to him. To make him comfortable. To make him happy. He deserves that.”
“But, Imogen, I don’t know—”
“I know how this sounds. I know what you’re going to say. But Lee, how could I not? I found him in that hospital bed and I just knew this was my chance. His chance.”
Lee took my hands and looked at me intently. “It sounds like what you and Yoss experienced together was hard. It occurred during an unstable time in your life and you clung to each other and your relationship. It makes sense that, because you had a lack of closure, you’d want to reconnect with him. To reestablish a connection you once had. But, be careful. This has all the earmarks of a tragedy, Im.”
There was an audible cough from behind us and I startled. I glanced over my shoulder to find Yoss standing in the doorway, his hair wet and sticking out on top of his head. The growth on his chin was becoming thick again. He needed another shave. I didn’t like his face being covered up like that.
How much had he overheard? It was hard to tell. His face was unreadable.
“How was your shower?” I asked him. How was your shower? What sort of question was that?
“Wet,” Yoss said, giving me a wry smile.
“Oh, well that’s good,” I replied lamely. “I mean who likes a dry shower? Is there such a thing? I don’t think so.” I chuckled. I sounded idiotic.
One Day Soon Page 25
