“Both of our sons are in, and they will be for two weeks, so stop making excuses not to be here,” she mumbled as she looked up at me from the seat. “Well, come on, I have a husband laid up on the couch that wants to be petted after his surgery so let’s make this quick.”
“I brought Gus,” I went on.
“He’s fine.”
I ran around and got into the passenger side seat. “I wouldn’t have come if I knew I’d be bothering you guys,” I said again as I buckled up.
She started the car and grunted. “Stop. You’re still trying to make up every reason as to why you shouldn’t have come to see me today but guess what, Grace?” She was grinning as she pulled out of the driveway.
“What?”
“You came anyway.”
“If there’s something you want to ask me about Noah, ask away,” she said softly. “We have a few minutes before we get there.”
“Where are we going?” I asked.
“The garage.”
Now I really was nervous. “Why? Is Noah there?”
She turned and smiled at me. “Why are you being so nervous? He’s the reason you came all the way to see me, right?”
I wiped my face nervously and placed my palm on my knee and held Gus with my other hand. “I came because you said there was something you wanted to show me.”
“And I am,” she replied with a smirk. “Noah’s never stopped waiting for you despite knowing that you were trying to run from everything you had with him.”
I glanced at her apprehensively. “It sounds like he’s told you everything.”
“You’re not the only one that felt horrible about the way your mom passed away, Noah felt the same things you did, and with you pulling away from him, he needed someone to listen.”
“Noah… he felt the same way I have?” I asked quickly. “He never…”
“Because you were clinging onto it so hard, he knew that if he did too then neither of you would fight for your love because you’d both be trying to figure out if you should blame yourselves for your mom being out that night.” She went on, “I’ll tell you the same thing I told him and what I told you yesterday… let it go. I never met your mother, but some things you just know, and she wouldn’t want you this way no matter what reason she was out on the road that night. It’s crazy the way humans will cling so hard onto the bad things than focus on the good ones.”
“You don’t understand,” I muttered. “My dad has been steadily pushing me away since she died, and no matter what anyone says, I feel like he blames me and can’t even stand to be around me. He loved me so much… and just like that, he can’t stand me. I hate it! This man that I’ve loved my whole life suddenly being cold to me. What if the same thing happened with Noah? What if one day he was so disappointed in me that he became the same way?” I shook my head violently. “There’s no way I could handle that, I’d rather live with this guilt and leave him than for him to one day look at me the way Dad does!”
Janet slammed on the brakes, and I looked up to see that she had pulled off beside the road. She looked so sad when she faced me that I placed my face in Gus’s fur so I didn’t have to face it. She pulled me into her arms and I stiffened. “You’ve been having all these thoughts without anyone to talk to?” she whispered. “You must miss her so much. I still miss mine, they were always the ones we could go to when things were tough, whether it was with life or just the thoughts inside our heads. Sometimes a girl just needs her mom.” With her words, I broke down and cried into her shoulder.
Janet’s shoulder was so comfortable that I found myself crying for the longest time before I finally settled down. I had so many tears, so many emotions, so many choices, so many things I wanted that I thought I couldn’t have, and things I wanted but was afraid of one day turning uglier than I felt now.
I finally pulled away from her when I felt better, also a bit drowsy now that I had cried to my heart’s content. “I understand why you’re hurting but believe me, there’s nothing you can do that can ever disappoint Noah. The worst thing you could have done to him, you already have by leaving him, and he still hasn’t lost sight of you.” I wiped my face. “Time to let it go, it’s time to live,” she said before getting back on the road.
I cleaned my face up but it was still obvious that I had been crying. I felt strangely better, but still nervous because I didn’t know what I was doing. “I’m not much, and I know you don’t know me well enough, but that can change and I can always be a listening ear or shoulder to cry on… Never let yourself suffer alone, you were only eating yourself on the inside.”
“Sorry about that breakdown,” was the only thing I could say to her. Twice in two days. Maybe I tried too hard for so long and kept it bottled away to the point that I truly was falling apart.
When we arrived at the garage, I immediately knew that it wasn’t the same. My eyes took in the new name and I was completely speechless. In italicized gold lettering, Prissy Auto Repairs and Services was plastered on a sign at the entrance and again on the newly painted garage. Black and gold paint job, this place looked amazing.
“What?” I finally mumbled.
Janet was grinning. “Dean sold the garage to Noah.” I looked over at her. “It was time, he was ready to rest and he knew Noah would be the perfect choice. Neither of our sons wanted it and they don’t live around here anyway.”
I looked at the garage again. “You’re grinning,” she informed me as she watched me. “Are you that happy about Noah getting himself a garage or is it something else?” She knows.
Of course, I was. My skin felt like bursting. The only boy I ever loved was now a man who made his garage’s name the nickname he called me. After a good cry, all of these good feelings were hitting me as I stared at the title, and there I was smiling again.
“I can’t go in there with the way I feel right now,” I said immediately as I clung to Gus in my arms. He knew the car was parked so he was restless to get outside.
“Why not?”
“Why did you bring me here?” I dragged out a sigh. “Why did you show me this?”
“I brought you here because with him is probably where you want to be, but you don’t want to admit it because of this pointless guilt and fear. I knew if I brought you here, you’d be left without a choice.” She touched my arm. “I brought you here because Noah’s my family now, and there’s this other thing I’m doing.”
“What?” I met her eyes.
“I’m saving Grace,” she answered, “I’m saving you, from yourself.”
“Wait, Janet,” I whispered quickly as she opened the door. Noah stepped out of the open garage doors wiping his hands on a rag as he saw her and smiled. He took my breath away even greased up, maybe even more so. He was so handsomely sculpted, and it wasn’t just his appearance that was rich and vibrant.
“What are you doing here?” he asked her then when Gus started barking, his eyes fell on us.
I was so fidgety and nervous for some reason as he smirked at Janet before walking over to my window as I rolled it down. He peered down at me with a smile. “Might as well get out,” he told me as he opened my door.
“We can leave if you’re busy,” I rambled as I got out and stood beside him anyway.
“I’ll never be busy enough when it comes to you,” he said effortlessly, and I looked away, lowering my gaze to the ground instead of at his alluring smile.
“Come inside, it’s a little cooler,” he told me as he grabbed my arm and pulled me forward. “There’s a little office inside, I’ll show you.”
I smiled, thinking that he might be anxious and a tad excited to show me the garage that was his now.
“I like the name you picked out,” I found myself saying.
He turned and cocked an eyebrow at me before grabbing his neck and smiling almost like he was embarrassed. “I thought you’d like that.” Then he turned back around as we slipped inside. Two other men were inside working and they nodded and grinned at us as we walk
ed past them. “It was only a matter of time before I went and got you and brought you home myself to show you.”
Home. Where was that for me anymore?
I thought I heard Janet’s car starting up and pulled away from Noah as I ran back toward the garage door. Noah took Gus from my hands as he moved beside me as we watched Janet drive away. “She left me,” I muttered.
Noah laughed. “Guess you’re stuck here with me until I bring you home.” He turned back around and I followed, silently thanking Janet for taking my choice away but at the same time, the fear kept me on edge, reminding me of the guilt.
He took me to a back room which was a small office. His office. I eyed the rolling chair right before he said, “Go ahead and sit down.”
“What time do you get off?” I asked as I plopped down in the chair and started spinning myself in it.
“Are you going to play at your teacher’s desk when you start teaching as well?” he asked, leaning against the desk with his arms folded as he watched me. When I tilted my head back at him, he added, “You might have tried your hardest not to find out about me, but I tried very hard to keep up with you the last few years. You’re suited to be a teacher.”
I started spinning again. “You never posted much online, so of course, I never knew what was going on in your life.”
He kicked his foot out and stopped me from spinning. I swallowed as his gaze heated me up with a smirk. “So, you were curious?” he asked. “You could have just called, even better, you could have come home to me already.”
He pulled me closer with his leg until my knees hit his legs. “Why do you keep expecting me to come back when I said, ‘don’t wait’,” I whispered, trying to dispel the mood between us. It wasn’t working, and with the heavy-lidded gaze he was caressing my body with, it only seemed to have made him worse.
“You’re here, aren’t you?” he caught me with his question. “How did you end up with Janet? You drove, didn’t you?” He leaned over me, placing his hands on the arms of my chair. I leaned back, trying to make myself a part of the chair. “You’re asking to be caught, Priss. No, you’re begging me to keep you… you just don’t realize it yet, but don’t worry, I’m not letting you go this time.”
He loomed closer, his azure eyes calling me in as his breath fanned my neck. I shuddered and leaned away. He followed until his lips were at the pulse thrumming in my neck, a single light kiss made me shiver. I placed my hand between his mouth and my skin. “What are you doing?” I mumbled.
He didn’t pull away and it was killing me. “It’s been a long damn time since I’ve had your body right here for the taking, instead of my hand, Grace, and I’m coming unglued because of it, especially with you right here stuck in my office…”
I let my head fall back as I closed my eyes. “It’s been so long,” I agreed.
I gasped when he scooped me up unexpectedly and tossed me onto the desk. I looked at him stunned as he placed his forehead against mine. “You haven’t even been with anybody else, have you?” It wasn’t a question—he knew. “I know just what I created inside you when we were only thirteen, why didn’t you sleep with anyone else?” he whispered into my neck. “I can tell, I just know. You keep giving yourself away.” I’d been exposed beneath the heated gaze and his long eyelashes.
I pushed him barely. “This is inappropriate.”
“I’ll be inappropriate every damn time I’m with you for the rest of our lives because I’m going to keep you by my side and smother you with all this you’ve made me hold onto for the last few years.”
He cupped my cheek and met my eyes. He kissed my nose, my forehead, my cheeks, and my chin. By the time he was finished, I was shaking with this strong, intense emotion and breathing hot against his face. I grabbed his hand and leaned in.
“Noah, whoa,” one of the other workers said as he stepped into the room then immediately covered his eyes. We weren’t doing anything, but Noah was standing between my legs and an inch from my face when I coughed and shoved him away slowly. “We got someone out here wanting you to do an estimate… I didn’t know you’d be busy,” he said, winking at Noah.
“I’ll be right there,” Noah said, and the worker walked away from the doorway. He looked back at me when he was gone. “Are you hungry? I can make one of the guys go out and get you something, it’s gonna be a few hours.”
I nodded. “I’m fine. Go on and work, I’m gonna stay in here.”
He smiled at me. “Everything’s right with the world again.”
He surprised me so I said, “What?”
“Having you by my side again.” He didn’t give me the chance to say anything as he slipped out the door. I stared down at the jacket beside me and picked it up. Noah’s name was on the tag, I brought it up to my neck and sighed.
That comfort I felt with Noah always reminded me of Nyquil, his presence had a way of making me content with life and everything to the point that I was drowsy. Before I realized what I was doing, I laid down and cradled myself atop the desk and drifted to sleep and hoped when I woke, it wasn’t the guilt that greeted me.
____
When I woke, I knew it was Noah’s arms that carried me. The stream of light hit my eyes and I brought my hand up to shield them from the sun. “Finally awake?” Noah asked as he opened his truck door with me still in his arms.
“See ya tomorrow,” someone called out to Noah, and I raised up and tapped his shoulder so he’d place my feet down. I wiped my eyes and mouth as I climbed into the driver’s side.
“Bye,” Noah said as he waved.
“Gus?” I asked, and he picked him up and placed him inside the truck with me.
I scooted to the middle and waited for Noah to climb in. I grabbed my phone from my pocket and checked the time. It was after four which meant I slept for a few hours. No wonder my neck was so sore. I rolled my neck and shoulders.
“I don’t see how you slept on top of a desk,” he muttered as he climbed in and shut the door. “Only you.” He smiled.
“My neck is killing me,” I admitted as I glanced at the garage again and smiled. “Are you getting off now?” He nodded as he pulled out. “My Escape’s at Janet’s,” I told him. “Do you still live with them?”
“No,” he answered. “I’m taking you home. I want you to see it.”
“You have a place too?” I asked, amazed. “I just finished college, how do you manage to have your own garage and place already?”
I could easily afford my own place with my savings, and all I had to do was find a teaching job, so maybe we weren’t so far apart or at least I hoped.
“It’s called being in debt,” he said with a smirk, and I smiled. “Honestly, if it hadn’t been for Dean and Janet, there’s no way I would have gotten this far. Running the garage is a lot more of a pain than it had been just working there, but I enjoy it despite the headaches that come with it.” I nodded.
“What about your dad?” I asked casually.
“I had to cut ties with him,” he answered. I couldn’t believe it. “He gave me no choice, he wasn’t going to change, and I know somewhere deep down, there’s a part of him that loves me, but he’d rather use me than love me.”
“I don’t know what to say,” I told him as I searched his face as he drove. “I’m sorry, I had liked John despite everything. Even as a kid, I thought he looked like a parent some days when he helped us, it just wasn’t enough to make up for the bad things he put you through... I think that was the right choice.”
He looked at me sadly. “Why didn’t you tell me he was harassing you for money?”
My eyes widened. “It was only a few times.”
“Fuck, Grace, you’re my sun, you’re my moon and stars; my world revolves around you no matter how much you want to deny it. Do you know how sick I felt when I found out that he’d bugged you while we were together, it’s embarrassing and I can’t stand the thought of you putting up with that because of me.”
“I didn’t tell you because I knew
you’d end up giving him whatever he wanted so that he would have left me alone, and I didn’t want to see that happen either. I hated to see him take advantage of you.”
“It’s the same for me… That’s what made cutting ties with him so easy.”
“Noah… you can’t just make choices because of me. You can’t just cut your dad out of your life because of me.”
“I did it for me, Priss, so that I could be with you comfortably and without the burden of him making our life hard. You know I love him despite everything he is, it’s like it’s in my DNA to love him, but I love you more—I want you, our future, our happiness more than anything else, and I’m not going to feel sorry for it either.” He looked away from the road again to look at me. “It’s that easy, Grace, to be happy.”
He placed his hand on my knee and I glanced down. I was letting him pull me in, I felt it, the rattle in my chest, the need for him burning into my very existence.
He pulled into a long driveway and my eyes took in the two-story house. It was beautiful. Simple, nothing at all grand, but it stirred the longing somewhere deep inside me. The yard was big, I could already picture him cutting the grass as I planted flowers. I could see myself on the swing on the porch, my feet propped up in his lap as we read together like we always did growing up. I could see us leaving in separate cars every morning with a goodbye kiss and smile before going to work. I saw everything so perfectly that it stung my eyes and I had to look down once again.
“Well, what do you think?” he asked. “It’s us, right?”
I finally covered my eyes. “Why are you doing this?”
“Why did you come to me?” he asked back. I looked up from my hands as he placed the truck in park and met my eyes with resolve. “You came this far by coming to me today, it’s time to come the rest of the way.”
Noah’s words were magic and chaos to my heart and body.
“Come back to me all the way,” he whispered beautifully.
Then he opened the truck door, climbing out and pulling me with him. I let him lift me up slowly before he placed my feet on the ground. Static was between us as I let him take my hand and lead me. Gus followed behind us as we walked to the backyard. Noah pointed to the huge beech tree in the yard. “And that is the main reason I bought this house so that I could build a treehouse for old times’ sake and for our future kids.”
Fall From Grace Page 24
