That pure feeling that surrounded my heart came back, as did the memory of her lips on mine.
When that happened that was it. I had to have her.
In that moment I felt like I had to have her. I was desperate for her.
I’d never wanted anybody more than I wanted Phoebe last night.
Fuck. She had me jacking off in the shower just to get her out of my damn head. I’d had about an hour’s sleep. My emergency hour. It was how I trained my body from back in my Marine days. One hour’s sleep to rejuvenate myself and give me the energy to get through the next day. It was bad practice and I didn’t just run on an hours sleep. Only in emergencies like last night.
If I hadn’t stopped feeling her tits up, which felt seriously amazing, I would have taken her right there on the beach.
What stopped me?
Candace.
Damn it. Why was I such an idiot? Yesterday at the café I should have set her straight and told her that I actually didn’t see a future for us and I wasn’t likely to change my mind.
Now I didn’t think I could just do that because in my head I hadn’t given it any thought and I felt I hadn’t been fair to her.
I didn’t want to make any decisions I’d regret later. All because I was bamboozled by Phoebe.
Phoebe the girl who plagued my mind for a majority of my life.
Literally the girl who got away.
She’d been a fantasy to me, one I couldn’t entertain and that made me want her more. No one had ever looked at me the way she did. It was a look I couldn’t describe, other than by saying it was magical. Her eyes would grow large and liquid, sparkling with the tenderness of adoration and passion.
But it was for me. Just for me.
That was how she looked at me years ago, and last night.
Maybe I really was an idiot to think that it was just for me, but that’s what I wanted to believe.
The magical look and her damn gorgeousness would be the death of me.
Fuck, how was I going to work with her and not touch her?
But, after last night I was pretty certain that touching her would remain a fantasy.
When I took her back to Akito’s, she handed me the helmet and rushed inside the house, completely pissed. No goodbye—she just left.
I couldn’t blame her. It was my fault.
I got into work early. Coffee gave me some additional energy, giving me the chance to finish up the reports. Once again, I sat my ass down in the archives room. Needed to be alone for a while.
I was in there for just over an hour when Akito came in, smiling like he’d just gotten some good news.
“There you are. Thanks for checking on the girls last night.”
I wished I really had just checked on them. I wouldn’t be in trouble now and I definitely wouldn’t be walking around with a hard-on.
“No problem.”
“I was hoping to speak to you before you got busy.” Akito smiled.
“Talk away. I’m all ears.”
“You okay?” He looked me over with concern.
“Sure.” Lies.
I was far from okay. Especially since I should feel worse for kissing Phoebe when I told Candace I’d think about giving her another chance. And, I most assuredly shouldn’t regret not getting the chance to get a good feel of Phoebe’s ass.
The tits would have to do for now although I had vivid visions after of me feasting on her hard nipples. I was stupid—I should have at least looked.
Fuck. I was fucked. I’d have to move down to archives for the time she was here.
“I have some exciting news, Tai.”
“Cool, what’s up.” I rested against the edge of my desk.
“That idea I had panned out. The board of education want to talk to us about setting up a teaching facility. They’ve noted that we have very specialist people here and they want to talk to us about sharing what we know. They want to give us a grant of whatever we need to extend the building to accommodate future students and staff.”
“That was fantastic.” And just the sort of thing I saw in the cards for me. “Would this all be classroom shit?”
He frowned at my use of language.
“Stuff?” I amended.
“No, which is exactly why it’s exciting. It means excursions, revisiting places others have been to because they didn’t have the specialist skills we have to fully investigate. It means adventures. You up for it?”
“Oh I most definitely am.”
“Good, because I want you to lead it. Run it. Have it eventually.”
I narrowed my gaze at him.
“Say that again?” I must have misheard.
“I’m not getting any younger, Tai. I’m sixty-five. I’m not going to be much good out there in a few years. I suspect I’ll still be able to accompany you on a number of travels but as for climbing mountains and whatnot, not so much.” He chuckled.
“I see your point. But me?”
“You.” He pointed at me.
“Thanks, Uncle.” I owed a lot of thanks to this man. Theoretically, I probably didn’t have all the required field experience a lot of people in our line of work had, but Akito knew me and my skill set. I’d learned from him, and he was the best. That was all I needed. Nothing more.
This new idea of his sounded amazing. It fit right in with this new direction I was taking my life. I liked the prospect of new possibilities.
Anything could happen. That part was exciting.
“I’d like us to meet properly and discuss it as soon as. And, if it’s okay with you I’d like to include Phoebe. Her ability to read dead languages is astounding. We could use someone like her.”
“Yeah sure.” I meant that. I genuinely meant that.
Hearing her name, however, got me worked up again.
“Let’s see how this project all goes. She seems excited about it, and I’m glad to have her here. We haven’t worked together like this before.”
He was proud of her and proud to have her here. All reasons why I couldn’t fuck things up.
God, when she kissed me last night, she kissed me like she needed me. I’d never experienced that feeling before and in the end, I basically dropped her off on Akito’s doorstep, knowing she was pissed off at me, and fled away into the night.
I definitely felt like a prick for doing that.
“It’s good to see her, it’s been a while.”
“Yes, more than a while for you two.” Akito tilted his head to the side.
“I know, so spare me the lecture I already got from Mitsuke for not staying in touch.” I held up my hands playfully, although deep down I doubted that I would ever forget Patrice Walker looking at me like I was some sort of filthy scum trying to defile her daughter.
She’d called me a tattooed freak with no ambition.
I figured she must have felt like that for years, the whole time, every summer when she saw me. Must have put her best face forward just for her husband.
That day when she caught me with her precious daughter, she’d erupted volcanic style.
“You know I hate lecturing you young people. Mitsuke thinks I lived in a different time and people don’t live that way anymore.”
I was inclined to agree and if he’d known what I’d gotten up to with Phoebe last night, although really it was nothing, he wouldn’t have been happy with me.
“Mitsuke is a wise woman.” I chuckled.
Akito frowned and then shook his head. “Come on, let’s go see if Phoebe’s in. I’d like to give her a heads up on this new idea.”
Whoa, I kind of wasn’t ready to see her yet, but if I protested it would look weird, especially with what we just talked about.
“Good idea.” I beamed.
We left the library and headed to the office. Akito filled me in with some more ideas on the way. One stuck out to me, it was that of trying to expand the business to other countries.
When we got inside the office, I saw Phoebe straight away.
Sh
e was on the upper level sitting at her desk. There were at least ten massive journals before her and she seemed completely engrossed in what she read.
I didn’t expect her to be in so early, and damn, did she look sexy.
That gorgeous hair was down again today, but she had the velvet tresses swooped to the side with the wavy ends gracing the edge of her waist. I liked her hair this length. I remembered her mother had always insisted on it being no longer than shoulder-length. Now it was a truly sexy waist-length that added to the fantasy.
Rather than looking like she was dressed for work, she’d looked more at home on the cover of a fashion mag.
A pink gloss shimmered on her lips and complemented the baby pink camisole top she wore that seemed to shimmer too in the morning light.
“Phoebe, you’re here,” Akito boomed.
She lifted her head at the sound of his voice and smiled.
“Morning.” Her smile waivered when she looked at me, but she still kept it up.
She stood up and made her descent down the stairs, giving me a full view of her smooth, golden legs in that wrap skirt.
Legs I could imagine wrapped around me as I pounded into her.
Fuck, I had to get a grip of myself and not let everything remind me of sex.
The worst thing in the world that could happen to me now to embarrass myself was another hard-on for this woman.
My theory was this—I never got to have her the way I wanted. Never mind the emotional side of things, and the way she made me feel with one look.
I never had her. Never had the chance to truly be with her.
Now she was here, back in my life. So my curiosity was getting the better of me.
And it grew worse with each second that passed. Temptation rolled into the beautiful package of her with a beauty the shined inside and out.
Akito started talking, but I zoned out and found myself staring at Phoebe.
We talked last night, a lot. But there were points in our conversation where I felt she’d held back. It made me wonder what her life had been like over the years.
What it was like and who she’d been with. A woman as beautiful as her must have had a ton of men after her.
The thought made me uncomfortable.
I could imagine the preppy types she must have gone for too, anything to please mommy dearest.
But listen to me. I was a hypocrite. I was the same with my father. Neo was the favorite no matter what anyone said. We were both what people would call rough around the edges and definitely not clean-cut, but I was the rebel. I simply rebelled because I wanted to do what I wanted to do.
Phoebe didn’t rebel and to give my dad credit, he never went around with a stick shoved up his ass, acting like he was better than anyone. He was just militant strict, and despite me jumping on the train of woe and calling my brother the favorite, my dad would soon set me straight about that.
Phoebe glanced at me when she felt my eyes on her.
Akito babbled on.
“Tai, this is definitely our year,” Akito said. I had no idea what he said prior to that, but I returned the smile he gave me.
“Looks that way.”
“Let’s wrap this project up as best as we can and see what we may be able to achieve while Phoebe’s here, or better yet.” Akito looked at Phoebe now and beamed like he just got the most brilliant idea ever, “try to convince her to stay.”
Yeah right.
I really doubted that my tactics would have worked on her. Or, maybe they would I just couldn’t even attempt them because… my tactics involved her butt naked bent over that table with me inside her.
She laughed and did the daintiest thing by resting her hands on her heart.
“Akito, you are working overtime to get me to stay.” She blushed.
“Can you blame me? Let’s talk later.” A sure look was on Akito’s face, which meant my uncle was serious. “I’ll leave you guys to work.” He backed away as he spoke, and then with a final smile turned on his heel and left.
I watched him until he walked through the double doors we’d come through before I returned my focus to Phoebe.
She was already staring at me with curiosity in those ocean blue eyes of hers.
That curiosity was always the trigger to set me off. It was like I wanted to show her that she was right to be curious, and I wanted to shock the princess.
Even though I knew I should leave well enough alone.
Chapter 11
Tai
“You’re here early.” I broke the silence.
“Lot’s on my mind.” She shifted from one side to another.
“Looks like you’ve been doing lots of reading.” I gestured to her desk and the books on it.
“Had to, I’m kind of stuck.”
“Really?” I narrowed my eyes.
“Stuck, probably as intended.”
“What do you mean?”
“It think the samurai purposely wanted to confuse people.” She pressed her lips together.
Well, at least she was talking to me.
“So you can’t read the journal?”
“I can read most of it and fill in the blanks for the other stuff, but I’m at a part where everything is jumbled with all the languages. I’m worried I’ll lose the meaning.”
I didn’t envy her. That was the part of this gig that I didn’t want to get involved in. With the way how I used to love archeology and learning from Akito, I could have followed suit and joined him in the academics behind it too, but I wasn’t cut out for it.
Too boring for me. Simple as.
“Maybe you’re thinking about the wrong things,” I pointed out.
She pushed out her full lips. Lips I knew were as soft as they looked. “Really, like I got the wrong idea?” Double meaning that I didn’t miss.
While she frowned, I couldn’t resist the smile that tugged on my lips.
Then she had to torture me further by folding her arms under her breasts. The motion drew my attention straight there.
She noticed and flushed, but she kept the pissed off look going.
“Here’s me helping.” More like me trying to not be in her bad books. I would have hated to start our working relationship on the wrong foot. “If our samurai’s trying to be confusing, maybe there’s a reason for it.”
“Can’t think what that would be.”
“Well maybe when we go back to the cave you’ll get some clues.” We planned to go Monday.
“Sure.” She looked me up and down then turned to go back up the steps to her workstation.
Of course my eyes landed on her curvy ass in that skirt as she took the steps. When she turned back to look at me, she caught me watching.
Caught again and I wasn’t going to pretend that I wasn’t looking.
With the trap set, I moved to follow her, thinking up things I could talk to her about.
She bit back a smile when I stepped up the last step and walked up to her desk. My eyes locked on to the way she ran her fingers over the row of journals. Slow and purposeful. I thought of her hands on my chest last night while on the bike.
That touch had set me on fire.
She had changed. Of course she would. I was thinking of an inexperienced eighteen-year-old who was shy and under her mother’s thumb.
The woman who stood before me moved with confidence, sure of herself, sure of her beauty. Sure she had my attention.
“How long do you think it’ll take to translate?” I pushed past the lump in my throat.
“Not sure. Could take a while. I have to look up some of the characters and the meanings they’ve carried during the time our guy lived.”
She scanned the journals.
This didn’t feel natural. We weren’t these people who talked business, and it was awkward.
She found what she was looking for and took down a few volumes. Her moving in that skirt, bending over slightly to put the journals on the desk, sent my eyes straight back to her ass.
I got
lost staring, and lost thinking about what she must do to work out. That ass came from running and climbing. Plenty of squats.
“Tai.” She whirled around and shot me a glare with her perfect lips parted. It was the way she said my name, like she’d said something else before.
I didn’t hear a thing. Same thing happened yesterday.
“Princess.”
“Where you looking at my ass? Again?”
Caught, again.
Fuck it. What did I have to lose? This was Phoebe, I’d thought about her for years, and her she was. Not a dream or a fantasy. She was the real live version. Here, inches away from me, all ass and tits.
I stepped closer and smiled.
“Yes.” Best to be honest.
She placed her hands on her hips and shook her head.
“We’re working together. Can’t you take anything seriously? Lieutenant.”
I liked the way she said lieutenant. I loved it yesterday and it seemed to carry more weight today.
“Call me that again, baby.”
“Call you what?” she toyed with me.
I stepped closer and closer. She backed away, taking a step back with each one I took towards her.
When she came in contact with the wall and saw there was nowhere else to go, she winced.
I stepped right into her personal space and rested my hands on the wall on either side of her, blocking her escape.
And there it was… the look.
I had to take the moment to absorb it, commit it to memory, and check that I really was seeing it.
Yes it was there, sparking before me like sunlight. Definitely not a figment of my imagination.
For eleven years I stored her away in the back of my memory. The enchantment of this woman who could reach a place inside me where no one else could.
I would have never admitted this to anyone in my younger days, but I used to live for that look. Live for seeing Phoebe every summer and having her look at me like I was the best thing she’d ever seen in her life. Me, the rebel who everyone thought was bad news with my tattoos and badass attitude. Me, the rebel who used to get in all sorts of shit both in Japan and back home in LA.
Reckless, out of control, and wild. That was me.
Blossoms of The Heart Page 9
