A few hours after we stopped for lunch, Orrean walked next to Colt and asked him, “Can I talk to you for a moment? I might be able to help.”
“Sure,” Colt whispered as he untangled from me.
Orrean glanced at me, then tapped Colt’s arm and said, “Stop here.” I stopped with them, but Orrean looked at me, saying, “Keep following this road. We’ll catch up in a minute.”
Well, I guess I’m dismissed, then. I looked at Colt, silently asking him if he was okay with me walking away, and he just nodded and gave me a small smile. I nodded back and walked up to my brother and the others.
Once I caught up, I looked over my shoulder and saw Orrean standing in front of Colt with his palm on Colt’s forehead. I wondered if he was trying to heal him the way he healed Wesley and me. I sure hoped so.
I kept walking, but when they still hadn’t caught up a minute later, I stopped walking to turn and watch them. Orrean was no longer touching Colt, but it looked like they were having a very intense conversation. Orrean was evidently very upset, but Colt was just nodding and gesturing with his hands.
Cal walked back to me with Mandy on his back and stated, “Orrean’s going to help him.”
“I know,” I responded, unsure why Cal felt the need to say that.
“He’s gonna do everything he can to help him,” Cal added.
I looked over at my friend and saw him wiggling his lips back and forth, clearly deep in thought. I thought about what he just said and decided that Cal had to be talking about more than Colt’s migraine, so I said, “He’s going to be okay.”
Cal looked over at me and made eye contact. His eyes were the exact same color as his brother’s, which was unnerving at times. With a seriousness that was uncommon for Cal, he said, “I know.” As serious as he sounded, he also sounded unsure, like he didn’t quite believe what he was saying.
“He is,” I insisted, “he’s going to be fine.”
Cal started to respond, but Orrean and Colt started walking again, drawing our attention to them. When they got closer, it was clear that Colt was feeling better.
I wrapped my arm around his shoulder again and kissed his temple, then said to Orrean, “Thank you.”
He nodded and did that weird shoulder roll thing that I assumed was the same as a shrug. Then he walked a few feet ahead of us.
“It’s okay, you know,” Colt said as I watched Orrean’s back.
I had to tear my eyes off the alien to look at him. “What is?”
“I know you two have a connection… and it’s okay.” He was speaking very quietly, but I heard him clearly.
“Who are you talking about?”
“You and Orrean, Jeremy. It’s pretty clear you have a connection with him, so just stop worrying about it,” he said a little more forcefully.
I opened my mouth to argue, but snapped it shut when Colt held up his hand.
He said, “Don’t deny it, Darlin’.” He sounded serious, but not angry. After a long pause, he added, “Everything will work out in the end. He’s meant to be here with us.”
I had no idea how to respond to that strange statement, so I chose not to. I just held Colt to me and tried my best to alleviate some of his pain, even though I knew it wasn’t actually possible to do so.
We only walked for a few more hours before it got dark and we had to stop. After dinner, I could tell that Colt was drained from the day, so we crawled into our shared sleeping bag. We fell asleep with him half on top of me and his face against my neck again.
***
I jolted awake when my dream little sister stabbed me in the heart again. I thought it was really happening, though it only took me a few seconds to orient myself when I woke this time, but I gasped when I noticed someone standing over me.
I started pushing Colt off my chest so I could protect us, but then my vision cleared further and even in the darkness, the moonlight shining through the tent’s skylight was bright enough for me to see that it was Orrean standing there.
“What the fuck, dude?” I whisper-yelled at him. “You gave me a fucking heart attack.”
“Are you okay?” he asked. Before I could respond, his hand was on my forehead and he was sending that strange energy through me.
I didn’t know why he was doing that until I thought about what I had said, so before I could get overtaken with his energy, I knocked his hand away and whispered, “Not a literal heart attack, man. It’s an expression… means you scared me pretty badly.”
“Oh,” he whispered back, pulling his hand away. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay, but…” I thought about what I was asking, but decided that it didn’t matter if I sounded rude considering the situation, so I asked, “What the fuck are you doing?”
He flinched back a little at my fierceness and I cringed. I supposed I could have been a little kinder, but, come on, the dude was standing over me while I was sleeping. It was fucking weird.
“You sounded like you were having a bad dream. I came to wake you and check on Colt,” he answered.
Oh. Now I really sound like a jerk. Oh well, it’s inevitable. “I’m fine, thanks,” I mumbled, then added, “Colt’s still sleeping.” I rubbed Colt’s back and heard him let out a deep breath.
“Okay,” he said quietly, “Goodnight, Jeremy.” The way he said my name made goosebumps appear all over my skin and made my breath hitch.
“Night,” I managed to breathe out before he walked to the other side of the tent.
I snuggled down with Colt again, and fell asleep after I heard the alien sit back down for his watch.
***
When we woke the next day, Colt lifted up off my shoulder and looked at me, making me suck in a huge breath and reach out to rub his cheek.
“You’re worse,” I whispered, trying not to let my emotions get the best of me. He had blood smeared above his lip and some dripping out of his nose.
Colt touched the blood and looked at his fingers. He didn’t look particularly surprised, and when he looked into my eyes I could see his acceptance of the situation. All he said was, “Yeah. I guess I am.”
I pulled him back to me, hugging him tight and closed my eyes to prevent myself from crying. He hugged me back and made a little humming sound in his throat, then whispered, “I don’t wanna leave you, Jeremy.”
That almost had me crying, but I was able to push the emotions back down and whisper back, “You’re not allowed to, Babe.” After a few minutes, I heard some of the others moving around, so I told Colt, “Come on. We gotta get you to that camp.”
He lifted his head and squinted, clearly bothered by the light. He said loud enough for everyone else to hear him, “We’re not going to make it in time, Darlin’.”
“What?” I felt like he punched me in the gut. “Don’t say that. We’re going to make it. Let’s go.” I started to sit up to do just that.
“Jeremy,” he said, grabbing my shoulder and stopping me from getting up. “You need to be prepared. We’re not going to make it there in time, Sweetheart, but it’s going to be okay.”
“In what world would that be fucking okay?” I asked as the tears I’d been holding back for days finally caught up to me. I felt them in my eyes, but I tried to keep them back.
“You will be okay. You will go on living and—”
“No, Colt, we both will. Now shut the hell up and get off me so we can get going,” I said angrily.
He stared at me for a moment, but let me go. I grabbed my backpack, but didn’t bother helping with the sleeping bag because I was too pissed. I stormed off and out of the tent, but only about ten feet from the farthest person—Cal—and just stood there, waiting for everyone else to get their shit together. How can he fucking say shit like that?
I angrily wiped some tears off my cheeks, and as soon as Orrean walked past me, I started walking without looking back. I could hear the others talking to one another, but they all knew not to bother talking to me unless they wanted their heads bitten off.
E
ventually, my need to be with Colt, especially when I knew he didn’t feel good, beat out my need to be pissed at him, so I walked back to him and held his hand. Neither of us said anything for a long time.
That entire day passed with us barely speaking, but staying connected somehow—except when we were fighting Ferals. Unfortunately, I could tell that Colt was feeling even worse because his fighting had become more sloppy and slow. Every time we stopped, Orrean would place his hand on Colt’s forehead with that little healing tool thing—the one he let Cal use the first time we met him—for a minute and every time Colt would seem to feel better, but the migraine always came back.
The next three days went on like that. And every single day, Colt seemed to slow down a little more, even in his walking. We still had at least a month’s worth of walking to do, but I kept hoping and praying for some kind of miracle.
When we sat down for dinner and bed one night, I just happened to look at Orrean, who was on the other side of Colt. When I noticed dark red blood dripping out of his nose, I thought I might lose my mind. They’d told me this would happen. That keeping the Qiren at bay would take its toll on Colt’s body, and eventually on Orrean’s, too. That they’d start bleeding from their noses, eyes, and ears. But I hadn’t listened. I didn’t want to know, because we were going to save him. There was no other choice. I looked over at Colt, who also had blood dripping out of his nose, and I realized he had noticed Orrean’s blood, too.
Colt grabbed my hand and stood up, pulling me with him. “Let me talk to you for a minute,” he said.
He led me only a few feet from the others, but kept his voice quiet so they couldn’t hear, “Promise me you’ll listen to what I have to say without interrupting, or getting pissed and walking away.”
I didn’t want to make that promise. I didn’t want to hear what he had to say. But I owed him that much, at least. I couldn’t deny him anything right then, anyway, so in a soft voice I said, “I promise.”
“Thank you.” He placed a chaste kiss on my lips before he continued, “I know you don’t want to hear this, but I need to say it.” He took a deep breath and blew it out. “I’m sorry I never approached you before this shitstorm happened.” I opened my mouth to respond, but he held up his hand to stop me. “No, just listen. Even though I was a fucking idiot for the past couple years, I am eternally grateful that I got to spend these past few weeks with you.” He kept taking long blinks, which made it obvious that he was in pain and speaking wasn’t helping any. “Even through all this madness, I still had a little light.” He nudged my foot with his toe and smiled at me. “Anyway, after everything… happens… I want you to know that it’ll be okay for you to move on. You don’t need to feel guilty.”
“Colt, no—”
“It’s still my turn. I know we care about each other deeply, J, but you’re going to go on living and I want you to be happy… no matter what.”
I grabbed him and pulled him into a hug. I didn’t want to think about it. I refused to believe it, refused to accept it. I cared for him, was falling for him—had already fallen for him—and that was the only thing I could think about. Everything else was just too much.
After holding each other for god only knew how long, we joined the others for dinner, then climbed in the tent and into our sleeping bag to sleep.
***
We had been running low on supplies, so we’d spent the day walking through the suburbs of some town I’d never been to or even heard of. We collected as much food and fresh water as we could throughout the day, and when it came time to settle down for the night, we decided to squat inside a house for once. We were unequivocally cold from being outside in the freezing weather all day, so it was nice to get out of the wind. We had been lucky that it hadn’t snowed yet.
I had seen Colt hug just about everyone else at least one time throughout the day. His actions were making me fidgety and anxious, but I just ignored it and kept pushing for us to move forward.
Orrean and Colt had spent an unusual amount of time together all day, too. They seemed to always be in deep conversation, but as soon as I would get close, they’d stop talking or change the subject. As everyone finished eating, Colt stood up and nodded at Orrean, who nodded back. Then Colt walked over to me with his hand held out. I took it, and he and Orrean led me out the door and into the house next door that we had already checked out and cleared. I didn’t know what they were up to.
Once we were inside the kitchen of the house, Colt dropped my hand, picked his hat off his own head and placed it on mine. Then he made a face as if he were in pain, stepped away from me and grabbed his head, bending over and groaning.
“Colt?” I said, taking a step closer to him.
He kept groaning, and when he finally looked up at me, he had blood coming out of his nose, ears, and even his eyes.
I stepped back shaking my head. “No,” I whispered in desperation.
“I’m sorry, Sweetheart,” he whispered back, “But I can’t… ahhh.” He bent over, groaning in pain again.
I grabbed onto him and pulled him up, resting his head on my shoulder and holding him as he started to shake. “No… no… Colt?”
“I love… you,” he mumbled.
“I love you, too,” I said as I felt tears run down my cheeks.
“Promise me…” he was panting and having trouble talking, “that you will… move… on.”
“No, Colt… Babe, I need you,” I insisted. I couldn’t accept what I knew, deep down, was happening.
He pulled back to look at me. He had blood and tears running down his face. His beautiful blue-green eyes were starting to look foggy. “Promise me,” he whispered.
“I promise,” I said, even though I really didn’t want to.
He looked past me to Orrean, who I forgot was even there, and said, “You will keep… your promises?”
“I swear it,” Orrean said.
Colt nodded slightly at Orrean then refocused on me. “Don’t be mad at him… I made him… promise.” He closed his eyes tight and groaned again, then reopened them. “Give him a chance.”
“Wha… what?” I didn’t understand.
Colt couldn’t answer, he just started groaning and clinging to my arms. I pulled him into my arms and held him as tightly as I could, whispering, “I love you. I love you,” over and over.
He started screaming in pain and sobs racked my body as I tried to hold him and offer him any kind of comfort. I couldn’t stand knowing he was in so much pain and there was nothing I could do to help him. Tears were running down my face, and my chest physically hurt from hearing his pain and knowing I was losing him. I felt like my heart was literally breaking apart inside of me as I held my love in my arms, knowing there was nothing I could do. How could this be happening? Colt was the most beautiful soul, why did he have to suffer like this?
All I could do was tell him how much I loved him as he screamed and cried and clung to me. The pain he was experiencing made me feel so helpless. Baby, why can’t I save you? My heart just kept shattering further and further the longer he screamed in pain.
His screaming went on for what felt like an eternity, but then, it suddenly stopped.
Colt stood up straight, pulling out of my arms, and he started chanting in Taoree, repeating the same thing over and over again as I tried to pull him back into my arms. Then I was being pulled away from him. Being pulled away from my boyfriend… my boyfriend who needed me. I tried to get away from the arms holding me, but they were too strong.
As I was pulled out the front door, I understood part of what Colt was chanting in Taoree, “…kill all humans. No humans left alive. Taoree will…” The front door was slammed shut in my face, cutting off Colt’s voice.
The arms around me loosened up a little bit, so I spun around and pushed Orrean back with all my might. I couldn’t even see anything because tears were streaming down my face, but I knew it was him, so I punched him in the chest.
“This is all your fault,” I screamed a
t him, punching him over and over. “You did this. You could have saved him, but you didn’t.”
He didn’t fight back, he just circled his arms around me and held me up as I beat on him.
I didn’t even care, I just kept hitting him. “You let him die… you let him die.” I punched and yelled, wanting him to fight back, wanting him to do something to stop me. But all he did was stand there, holding me up. “You didn’t save him,” I cried out as I lost my momentum. I stopped hitting him and completely lost my will to remain standing.
I slumped forward and Orrean caught me, pulling me to his chest as I sobbed even harder. I fisted his sweatshirt in my hands as he held me tight, hugging me. I cried for so long I felt like my heart was going to explode out of my chest.
When I finally settled down enough, I blinked my eyes until I could see a little, then I pushed off of Orrean and started walking back to the house where the rest of my family was waiting. My chest was filled with so much pain that I thought I might fall over, but I tried to ignore it. When I walked into the house, I felt everyone’s eyes on me, but I refused to look at them. I knew they were crying, I knew they knew what had happened, but I just walked past them, not making eye contact. I pulled out my and Colt’s sleeping bag and climbed inside. I pulled the sleeping bag over my head and breathed in Colt’s calming scent. Only this time, it made me cry even more.
I lay there, hiding from the world for a long time, until I knew everyone else was lying down, too. I kept replaying everything Colt had said to me as those things, those fucking Qiren, started destroying his brain. I kept trying to think of what he could have meant when he told me not to be mad at Orrean, but then it suddenly hit me, and I flew out of the sleeping bag and ran to the front door. I threw it open, and when I saw Orrean walking up the porch steps, I knew I was too late.
Taoree: Taoree Trilogy #1 Page 23
