‘Okay then. Thanks.’
They jumped on the tube and travelled one stop to St Pancras, joining the fast moving crowds milling through the turnstiles and out onto to the main road.
Lula looked up at the majestic clock tower of the red-bricked gothic revival building and whistled. ‘Nice one, Tristan, that’s quite a find.’
‘It helps to have friends with high places,’ he quipped.
‘Very droll,’ she said, her eyes flashing with amusement.
He let them in through the glass-fronted entrance and they walked up to his apartment. He tried not to watch her tidy behind as she climbed in front of him on her customary heels, her hips swinging in a mesmerising motion right in his field of vision.
She had such a neat figure. So perfectly formed.
He smiled at her gasp of astonishment as he opened the front door to reveal the apartment in all its glory. It really was magnificent, with its ten-meter-high ceilings, exposed brickwork and one whole wall dedicated to an enormous bookcase, filled with the brightly coloured spines of hundreds of books. She moved around the place, running her hands over the sleek modern furniture, the exposed beams, the wrought iron spiral staircase that led up to the mezzanine where the master bedroom was located.
When she turned back to him her eyes were bright with wonder.
‘Why on earth doesn’t your friend still live here? God, if I owned this place I’d never want to set foot outside, let alone allow someone else to rent it.’
‘His wife wanted somewhere bigger after they got married. She made him give this place up.’ He rolled his eyes skyward.
She smiled down at the floor. ‘Is that a hint of disdain I detect?’
He shrugged. ‘He had a good thing going here. Now he’s living like a zombie in the burbs and kowtowing to a wife who barely allows him out in the evenings.’
‘Hmm, definitely disdain.’ She ran her fingers over the back of the sofa, her gaze focussed on the undulating motion.
He slumped down onto the sofa opposite and watched her walk around the rest of the apartment, moving into the small kitchen diner, then back out to the living area again.
She sat down on the sofa opposite and looked at him, her brows drawn up into a frown. ‘You know, maybe you’re different to your dad? Maybe you’ll find you like the idea of getting married once you’ve found the right person.’ There was a lilt of hope in her voice as if she couldn’t bring herself to believe that he was fine as he was. What was it with the women he met? Why did they always seem to think he needed fixing?
He gave her a tolerant smile. ‘Maybe, but I doubt it. I’ve just come out of a relationship with a woman who I thought was a perfect match for me, but I never felt the urge to marry her.’
Her face seemed pale under the bright overhead light and her gaze slid away from his. ‘Why did you split up with your girlfriend?’
Even though he didn’t want to talk to Lula about the mess his life had become, he didn’t want to lie to her either. She’d asked him a direct question so he should give her a direct answer. ‘She left me for my brother.’
Her mouth dropped open in surprise. ‘No! That’s so tacky!’
He’d expected pity, so was heartened by her outrage. He smiled, attempting to keep things light, even though his whole body was hot with discomfort. ‘Yeah, tacky and humiliating.’
‘I can’t believe your own brother would do that to you.’
‘Well, that’s Jon.’ He huffed out a laugh. ‘It wouldn’t have been so bad if I hadn’t carried the bastard for so many years.’
‘What do you mean?’
He frowned, realising he wasn’t going to get away with just giving her vague details; she was more savvy than that. ‘After our mum died, my father went to pieces so it was up to me to keep our lives on the rails. I made sure Jon had what he needed for school and that he turned up to classes.’
Lula was sitting forwards now, a look of keen interest on her face.
He leaned back against the hard back of the sofa and rubbed a hand through his hair, strangely relieved at the prospect of getting all this off his chest. ‘And then, when my dad became more interested in chasing women than running our family business I stepped in to keep it going after I finished University. I really wanted to set up my own thing, I had grand plans, but I couldn’t see the business that had been in my family for fifty years sold off or go to ruin. My brother said he’d help me with the running of it, but he hardly ever turns up for work. He has no qualms about taking his wage and dividends though. And then stealing my girlfriend out from under my nose.’
She was looking at him with such incredulous indignation he almost reached forward to touch her in gratitude.
The air between them throbbed with tension as they stared at each other in the pause.
She broke eye contact first and smoothed her skirt down over her legs.
He bristled as he realised he must have made her uncomfortable by treating her like a sounding board.
‘Hey, I need to ask you something,’ he said, standing up and walking over to the bookcase to straighten one of the spines, giving her a moment of grace. He’d got too personal and she was evidently struggling with how to respond to his embarrassing admission.
‘Apparently there’s a Radio Industry networking event next Thursday, which Jez was meant to be attending. It’s a good opportunity to shout about Flash and maybe sniff out some more sponsorship. Assuming I haven’t found anyone to take over managing the station by then, I’d appreciate it if you’d come along with me. I could do with an expert on hand to deal with the specific radio industry questions.’
When he glanced back she was frowning. Was it because she didn’t want to have to spend another evening in his company? Had he blown his cool image by telling her all his dirty secrets?
The thought irked him, which is why his next question came out sounding so accusatory. ‘Surely you anticipated there’d be some out of hours demands on your time?’
She nodded, her eyes big with distress. ‘Yes, of course.’
From the tone of her voice you’d have thought he’d asked her to perform an operatic duet in top F with him. Or maybe she just felt uncomfortable about being seen on his arm.
‘Look, we don’t have to go for long and I’ll make sure I mention to everyone we speak to that you’re not sleeping with the boss.’ He gave her a jokey raised-eyebrow-and-smile combo.
She barely broke a grin back.
Hmm, perhaps it was inappropriate to keep making those kind of jokes. His heart sank in his chest. He’d been enjoying clowning around with her this evening and elated by how close they were to stepping over the line she’d drawn, but clearly it was time to get serious now.
He walked over to her sofa and sat on the arm. ‘Look, I need to be honest with you, Lula. The station needs more sponsorship if it’s going to survive. Jez has pretty much bled the reserves dry and it’s going to take a serious injection of cash to keep it viable.’ The look of shock on her face made his stomach turn over. ‘I’m sorry to have to tell you like this, I never thought it would take this long to find someone to take over the managerial position. I was expecting they’d be the one to tackle the problem of the financial shortfall.’
Her face had taken on a ghostly white pallor. ‘I had no idea things were so bad.’
He held up a placating hand. ‘It’s salvageable. But we need to put on a confident outward appearance or the sponsors will start getting worried that they’re backing a dead duck.’
Lula drew her shoulders back and her chin up. ‘I’d be happy to go with you and represent Flash. I’ll do whatever it takes to keep the station running,’ she said, her voice now dynamic and businesslike. ‘I love that place. It’s got the potential to grow into something amazing. I couldn’t bear to see it die a death.’
The panic in her eyes propelled him forwards off the arm and onto the cushion next to her and he put a reassuring hand on her arm.
She glanced down at where his fingers pressed against her soft skin, then back into his face, her eyes wide and dazed.
They stared at each other, their bodies closer than they’d been since that fateful night. His blood raged through his veins and he became acutely aware of how hard he was, how easy it would be to push her down onto the sofa and kiss her, how much he wanted to be inside her.
‘I’d better get going and leave you to the rest of your evening,’ she murmured, the breathiness of her voice doing crazy things to him.
Before he could respond, she stood up and spun on her heels, walking quickly away from him towards the door. Pulling it open, she stepped out into the hallway. She paused and turned back, fixing him with a tight smile. ‘Thanks for letting me see your place, it’s amazing.’
He had a sudden wild urge to ask her to stay, to try to reassure her that everything would be okay if she did, but before the words would come out of his mouth she’d turned and walked away.
SEVEN
‘Good grief, Lula, you look awful. Please tell me it’s down to a wild night with a hawt man.’
‘Not exactly.’ Lula gave Emily a pained smile as she dropped into the hard wooden café seat opposite her.
They were having their customary Saturday brunch in a little place in Crouch End they’d frequented since meeting at UCL, whilst doing a Media Studies degree together.
Emily took a bite of the cinnamon swirl the waitress had just placed in front of her and raised a questioning eyebrow, waiting for Lula to spill the beans.
‘Hold up, let me order some carbs and caffeine first,’ Lula said, giving the waitress a grateful smile as she waited patiently for her to choose what she wanted. ‘I barely slept last night and my brain isn’t functioning yet.’ She placed an order for a bran muffin and a large Americano and slumped back in her chair, only to find her friend glaring at her, impatient for gossip.
Lula sighed. There was no way she was going to get away with keeping Tristan’s continued existence in her life from Emily. Her friend had a way of sniffing out trouble and strife. ‘It’s a long story, Em.’
‘I have all the time in the world right now,’ Em said, taking a sip of her café latte and gesturing for Lula to continue.
So she started at the point where Emily had left her with Tristan in the pub and filled in the blanks up till the present, her heart racing and her whole body so tightly wound she thought she might break into a million pieces if anyone so much as touched her.
‘Whoa,’ Emily said as Lula ended her monologue by describing the unnervingly intense dream she’d had in the early hours about walking around Tristan’s flat naked while he looked down on her from the mezzanine.
‘No wonder you look so frazzled. That’s some serious sexual frustration you’re dealing with,’ Emily said, flipping her a grin.
Lula put her head in her hands. ‘I’m an idiot, pure and simple. What the hell was I thinking, agreeing to go back to his flat? I’ve just made everything so much worse.’
‘Maybe, subconsciously, you were hoping something would happen?’ Emily said, making it clear in her tone that was exactly what she believed.
Lula nodded into her hands. ‘I told myself at the time that I wanted to see this amazing place he was staying in—and I did—but that wasn’t really it.’
‘Clearly.’
Lula raised her head and gave her friend a sorrowful grimace. ‘I wish I didn’t know all those personal details about him—especially about his evil ex-girlfriend leaving him for his lazy brother. It makes it so much harder to be indifferent when he makes me care about him like that.’
‘Understandable.’
‘I came so close to leaning forwards and kissing him, Em. When he touched my arm it felt like my whole body exploded into this big fiery ball of need. It took everything I had to stand up and walk out of there.’
‘Why did you walk? I wouldn’t have done. I’d have got my rocks off and left a satisfied woman.’
Lula snorted. That was just like her friend. ‘I don’t have the ability to keep things unemotional like you.’
‘It’s not about being unemotional,’ Emily said tartly, ‘It’s about putting yourself first for once.’
‘And look what happened when I tried that before. I’ve been pretending to be someone I’m not the whole time I’ve been around him. I think he believes I’m actually like Louise. If he found out I’m not really like that he’d lose interest pretty damn quickly.’
Emily twisted her mouth into a grim smile. ‘Don’t be daft, Lu.’
‘It always seems to happen though, Em. As soon as I relax and start being myself they lose interest in me.’
‘That’s because you’re picking the wrong men and expecting too much of them. You’ve got this crazy idea that there’s some perfect individual out there, but there isn’t, Lu. Everyone’s messed up in their own sweet way. To be blunt, you’re living in a dream world if you think you’re going to find someone who you can absolutely guarantee will never leave you. Most of the men I’ve met are only out for themselves.’
‘Tristan isn’t like that.’ Her tone came out snappier than she intended and Emily gave her a knowing smile.
‘Then maybe it’s worth giving it a go with him?’
She shook her head. ‘I don’t think he’d respond too well to me telling him I’ve been pretending to be this confident, outgoing woman the whole time. Look how quickly he shut me down when he thought I’d been using him to keep my job.’
‘Yeah, well, I guess being dumped for his brother has to have had an impact on his self-confidence. It’s not surprising he’s so paranoid. Not that it sounds like he exactly fought you off that night. The dawg.’ Emily wiggled her eyebrows and gave one of her show-stopping smiles.
Lula couldn’t rustle up a return smile this time. ‘He did seem to be genuinely into me. At least I thought so at the time.’
‘And he’s definitely not interested in a relationship now?’
She shook her head. ‘Nope. He’s made it pretty clear he’s heading back up to Scotland as soon as he’s found a new Station Manager.’
‘And your reasoning for not having a hot fling in the meantime is...?’
‘If anyone at the station found out I was sleeping with him my credibility would be less than zero. It was awful when everyone found out about Jez.’
‘That’s because Jez was awful.’
Lula gave her friend a pained look and took a sip of her drink.
‘He was a smarmy little twonk, Lu.’
She nearly snorted coffee out of her nose. ‘Nice insult.’
Emily frowned. ‘Lula, the only person who thinks you don’t deserve to be happy is you. Your bloody parents have a lot to answer for,’ she said, swiping some crumbs from her muffin off the table, her expression unusually serious. It wasn’t like Emily to get heavy with the semantics and it brought Lula up short. Tears pressed at the back of her eyes and she took another long sip of coffee to cover her loss of cool.
Another horrible thought struck her. ‘He’s probably still in love with his ex-girlfriend anyway. He told me he’d thought she was the perfect woman for him. There’s no way I want to get caught up in a rebound thing and then left behind when he’s had enough.’
‘I hear you,’ Emily said, polishing off her coffee and motioning for the waitress to bring her another one.
‘The last thing I need is to fall for my boss right now,’ Lula continued, warming to her theme now. ‘I should be putting all my energy into making a success of my Breakfast Show, not mooning around after someone who doesn’t give a fig about me.’
Emily was looking at her with a baffled expression. ‘If you say so.’
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‘I do,’ Lula said resolutely, picking up her muffin and taking a large bite.
She was putting Tristan out of her mind once and for all. From now on her energy was going into working and friends only; everything else would have to take a back seat.
* * *
After spending Saturday morning in a state of restless sexual frustration, Tristan called up a couple of old Uni friends and arranged to meet up with them over the weekend. He needed a distraction from the slow, sinking feeling that he’d made a total balls-up of his last interaction with Lula.
She seemed to be able to wreck his hard-worked-for control with just the glimmer of a smile and it made him jumpy.
‘You okay, Tristan? Something on your mind?’ his friend Alex asked as they stared out across the spectacular view of the city from the top of the London Eye.
‘Just work stuff,’ Tristan replied, unwilling to get into the whole mess with Lula. He couldn’t even get how he felt about her straight in his own head, let alone explain it to someone else.
‘Business okay in Scotland?’
He nodded at his friend. ‘Fine. Same as usual, but it’s good to have a break from it, to be honest.’
‘Was it right after Uni when you took over there?’
‘Yeah. Ten years ago now.’
He was actually shocked to realise it had been that long. No wonder he was feeling jaded about going back to it. Being at the radio station had made such a refreshing change.
‘Didn’t you used to have some great schemes and plans for setting up something by yourself? I thought the idea was only to learn the ropes at the family business, then move on.’
Tristan sighed. ‘It was, but I got stuck there. My dad totally lost interest in it and my brother doesn’t give a toss about it either, so I stayed. It’s been good though. It’s a profitable business.’
‘But dull as hell?’
‘Yeah. It’s not the most scintillating industry to be in, but it pays well.’
Fired by Her Fling Page 11
