“You could have told me before I came over. Well, I’ll be off then. Night.”
Enough was enough. Being alone couldn’t be more lonely and miserable than being with Duncan. Tomorrow she was going to end it. She had to stop wasting her time with him.
Chapter Two
Alex dressed for work, excited about what she’d discovered this morning over breakfast while reading the tech section of the newspaper. She couldn’t wait to tell Big Red about the messenger app they had mentioned in the article. Checking her phone to make sure the app was still logged in, she closed her front door and started her commute to work. As she sat on the bus, the telltale ding of her iPhone notifying her that Big Red had logged on grabbed her attention.
Amazon Pixy: Good morning.
Big Red: What are you doing online? Are you sick?
Amazon Pixy: Nope. You won’t believe it, but I found a messenger app for my iPhone so I’m available more often for you.
Big Red: Seriously? Fantastic, I’ll download it today and set up my phone. So where are you?
Amazon Pixy: On the bus headed for work, and you?
Big Red: Sitting at my computer battling writer’s block, chatting with my best friend.
Amazon Pixy: You sweetie, you’re my best friend, too.
Big Red: I don’t mean you.
Amazon Pixy: LOL
Big Red: I thought you’d like that. So how is Duncan?
Amazon Pixy: Hmm…
Big Red: That good, eh?
Amazon Pixy: I’m ending it today. I’m telling him tonight. I just can’t continue this charade of a relationship.
Big Red: Honey!
Amazon Pixy: I know. I’ve been having my own little pity party all night. You know the thing that gets me the most is that I know I don’t love the guy. It’s just…I don’t know. It hurts to know I failed again…
Big Red: Of course it hurts. You have a relationship with him, and you didn’t fail. He just wasn’t the one.
Amazon Pixy: Yeah, well, I thinking I’m going to try batting for my own team. Stuff men. I want my love life to be easier.
Big Red: You honestly think batting for your own team makes playing the game easier? Trust me on this, you know I swing the “my team” way, and yes, it is different, but it’s not easier.
Amazon Pixy: I guess you’re right, and there’s nothing as vicious as a woman scorned.
Big Red: You would also have to give up the man anatomy, and from everything I know about you, you’re a bit of a cock lover.
Amazon Pixy: Yeah, I thought I was doing a little bit of the grass is greener on the other side stuff, but God, why does it all seem so hard? Maybe I should just give up and become the cat lady all the kids in the neighborhood are frightened of.
Big Red: Well, that’s an idea, but don’t you hate cats?
Amazon Pixy: Trust you to be so logical.
Big Red: Don’t give up, honey. The right guy may be just around the corner. Just know that I’m always here for you.
Amazon Pixy: Thanks! I’m so lucky to have you. Enough about me, how are you going? How is your hot piece of man love? LOL
Big Red: You cheeky witch, and yes, as always things are great!
Amazon Pixy: I hear a “but” coming…
Big Red: There’s no “but.” It’s just that we both know something’s missing. We love each other dearly, but we both have needs that neither of us can satisfy, not to mention we want to have a family. Okay, there is a “but.”
Amazon Pixy: I never really thought about it, but it must be horrible to want to have a family knowing the options are so limited for you.
Big Red: It’s not just the wanting to be fathers thing. It’s also the…Ah! Don’t get me started I actually have to get work done today, and dwelling is not going to help me.
Amazon Pixy: –Yes, dwelling won’t, but talking to a friend will. Message me whenever, thanks to my new app!
Big Red: Thanks, baby bear. Same to you, and you never know. Mr. Hottie may come in today.
Amazon Pixy: Ah…don’t remind me. Once again, why the hell are all the best-looking men gay?
Big Red: A universal joke on all women.
Amazon Pixy: LOL—cya, papa bear.
Big Red: –Cya, baby bear.
Alex closed the app, knowing that if he messaged her it would automatically reopen again. She knew it made her a bitch, but she liked the fact that Big Red’s perfect life wasn’t perfect in every way. She truly wished him well, but with her life in such a rut, listening to someone talk about how great theirs was made her feel even worse.
* * * *
Alex booted up her work computer, tapping on her desk with the end of her pen. Now that she’d finally come to accept the termination of her unfulfilling relationship with Duncan and with the support of Big Red, she was ready to open new doors and start living the life she should be. Who cared if she was on her own? She was an independent, strong woman. Of course the added happiness she was feeling may have something to do with the fact that Mr. Hottie was coming in today. She had finished the designs for the new catalogue for his sporting goods store.
* * * *
Tyler was directed into the boardroom of the advertising agency. He was here to approve the layout of the catalogue for his new range of camping equipment. He was nervous, his skin felt too tight for his body, and amazingly, his body felt cold, but beads of sweat formed on his brow. He cared about his company and the new advertising, but that wasn’t why he was having a near panic attack. No, he was nervous about seeing the amazing Alex again. In the six years he had been with Ryan, he had never, not once, strayed. He hadn’t even thought about straying until he met Alex. She was everything a woman should be, smart, caring, and sexy as hell, and that body of hers. He knew she wasn’t model material. She was about average height, the media declared her as being a little heavy or a tad overweight, but to him it showed she was all woman. She had a softness and curves that he’d never find in a man or ever want to. Her green eyes were the color of the finest jade, and that hair was to die for, a wonderful auburn color, thick, long, and wavy. He could just imagine her riding him naked with that hair draped over his chest.
“I’m sorry I’m late, gentlemen,” Alex said as she entered the room, stumbling as she sat in her chair.
“As I was saying, Mr. Daniels, we have strategized the new campaign.”
The rest of what his account manager, Michael something, was saying disappeared into background white noise. Pretending to listen, he took the chance to steal a quick glance at Alex. She looked happier today than the last time he’d seen her, like a light had been turned on inside. God, he hoped that loser she was dating hadn’t asked her to marry him or anything. What am I thinking? It doesn’t matter. She is not for me anyway. Think about Ryan, I must stay faithful to Ryan. I love Ryan. I can’t live without Ryan. Take a bite of forbidden fruit and I will lose Ryan, the man I love. Over and over he repeated his inner mantra of fidelity. Too bad his body wasn’t listening to his head. Adjusting himself in the chair to make a little more room for his throbbing erection, he missed a question asked of him.
* * * *
After the meeting had ended and Alex returned to her work station, she thought back over the meeting with Mr. Hottie, aka Tyler Daniels. She had felt his gaze on her like a physical blow, so much so that she’d stumbled slightly as she took her seat. She huffed at the frustration of spending forty minutes in a room with Mr. Hottie. Why, oh why are all the good ones gay? Maybe she was asking God himself for the answer. Ah…get back to work, girl, you still have to meet with Duncan tonight. At that thought, she sobered, and the lust boiling in her blood dissipated faster than a speeding bullet.
* * * *
“Honey, I’m home,” Tyler called. It had been a long day, but business was good. He stood in the entry, flicking through the mail he’d picked up on his way up to the apartment.
“Hey, darlin’, hard day?” Ryan answered from his desk.
“Yeah, but
no big issues. I approved my new ad campaign, just a few changes to be made, which should be ready tomorrow. Hey, there’s a letter for you.” Ryan wandered out of his office and over to him and took the formal-looking, thick envelope. He watched as Ryan turned it over and stared at the sender then ripped the envelope open with a rush. He was surprised by first the apprehension and then the sheer joy on Ryan’s face.
“I won…I won the National Book Award.” Ryan jumped for joy.
He had finally done it after all the hard work and long hours.
“That’s fantastic, babe. I knew you could do it,” he replied as he watched Ryan’s big grin and the excitement gleam in his eyes. He was so proud of him. He watched as Ryan folded the letter and moved away.
“Where are you going?”
“I’m going to tell Amazon Pixy. I can’t wait for her reaction,” Ryan replied.
Jealousy and anger warred in his blood. He was sick and tired of this. He knew he shouldn’t be jealous of Ryan’s online friend, but Ryan should want to share and celebrate this with him, not someone else he’d never actually even met.
“I can’t handle this anymore! I’m going out,” he said, seething.
“What…What’s wrong?” Ryan replied, shocked.
“What’s wrong…What’s fucking wrong? I’ll tell you what’s wrong. You care more about your fucking online friend than you do about me anymore. Once, you couldn’t wait to tell me things and celebrate with me. Now it’s all her,” he screamed, his voice much louder than he would have preferred, but he’d lost control of his temper. “Just tell me, are you in love with her?” he prayed that the answer wasn’t yes, but he had to know.
“I have never even met her. She’s just a friend. I don’t even know her real name. You know that. Why are you so upset?” Ryan asked, worry etched on his face.
“I don’t know what to think anymore. I’m out of here. See you later.”
Tyler flinched when he heard the front door slam shut behind him, although part of him was satisfied at the violence in it. He walked for what felt like hours but knew would have only been minutes. He found himself out front of one of his favorite bars. It served quite good food and had a relaxed atmosphere. What the heck? He needed a bite to eat and a few drinks to calm himself down. As he entered, he walked straight into a woman standing just inside the door. He was so preoccupied he didn’t even see her.
“I’m so sorry,” he stuttered.
“Don’t worry about it. No harm done,” she replied, and that deep, feminine voice was the same one he’d fantasized about all day.
“Alex?”
“My God. Mr. Daniels?”
“Please, I’ve asked you so many times before, call me Tyler,” he said.
“Sorry, Tyler.”
“Well, fancy meeting you here.” He looked her over, and she was wearing the same suit that she’d had on today.
“Yeah, I’m meeting my boyfriend, Duncan,” she said.
A pang of disappointment settled over him.
“Romantic dinner for two?” he asked, trying to make small talk.
“Not likely. I’m actually telling him it’s over, and I can’t wait. Any advice on the best method?” she asked.
A twinge of hope sparked in Tyler, and he shook his head. What on earth was he doing, being happy that her relationship was ending.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to involve you in my personal dramas. You must think I’m horrible, being so flippant about breaking up with my boyfriend. It’s just that in my head I left him months ago”
“No, no I wasn’t shaking my head at you. I was thinking about something else.” He chuckled, trying to lighten the mood and show her he wasn’t upset with her
“Oh, Okay. Well, there he is. So I had better face the music,” she answered.
She then moved off toward the bar and waved to a wiry-looking man who he knew must be Duncan, the soon to be ex-boyfriend.
“Hey, is your partner coming to meet you? I would love to finally meet him,” she called back as she was walking away.
“No, we’re not in a great place right now,” he replied.
“Look, stay here a while. Once I get rid of Duncan, you can drown your sorrows and tell me all about it,” she said.
“Okay, it’s a date.” She smiled and walked away.
Tyler could only think that his night was looking up. Although a sense that he was betraying Ryan niggled at his conscience.
It was an hour later when Alex finally returned, and she looked miserable and happy at the same time. “How did it go?” he asked as she took the seat next to him.
“Good and bad. He didn’t care, which is good. He didn’t love me either, which is bad. It’s also bad that I wasted so much time on him.”
“Well, at least you didn’t waste more time on him,” he said.
“You’re right, so that’s good.” Waving her hand, she got the bartender’s attention and ordered a drink. “So spill. What’s the problem?”
“It’s nothing,” he responded.
“Really?” she questioned.
“Okay, it’s something, but I don’t want to talk about it.” Taking another gulp of his beer, he looked at her. The lust, the need for her burned and smoldered in him, and before he knew what he was doing, he slid a hand through her hair to the base of her head and pulled her lips to his. The heat and softness of her lips as he rubbed his against hers was incredible. He licked her bottom lip, and as she gasped in surprise, he thrust his tongue deep into her mouth. He stood and raised her to her feet and then pulled her hard against his body. His cock throbbed, pained with his desperate need for her. Rubbing his steel-hard cock against her, he wanted, he needed her, and he had to be inside her. At that thought, he suddenly pulled away. “I’m so sorry.” Quickly, he turned and rushed out the door. What the hell have I done? Ryan…one word, one person, he had betrayed Ryan and their relationship.
Chapter Three
Tyler walked into the apartment feeling like he was walking toward the gallows. He’d decided to admit to Ryan what he’d done and beg for forgiveness. Ryan was sound asleep in their bed, and the angelic look on his face made his guilt even worse. He could wait until morning to explain to Ryan what he’d done. Ryan deserved a good night’s sleep. He deserves so much more. He deserves someone much better than me.
Sunrise finally arrived for Tyler. It had been an endless night for him as he lay beside Ryan, fully dressed, watching him sleep. The whole night, all he could think about was Ryan and what his life would be like without him. He was devastated at the pain he was about to cause him, and his fear of a life without Ryan tore through his heart like a physical wound. The worst thing of all was that he could still remember the passion and desire he felt as he kissed Alex. His body was betraying his guilty mind, and he could feel his erection just thinking about that kiss.
* * * *
“Good morning,” Ryan said with closed eyes, still snuggled under the covers.
“Morning,” Tyler replied.
His ominous tone made Ryan’s eyes snap open, instantly awake. Something was wrong, much more wrong than a little fight. He could feel the vibes emanating from Tyler lying there fully dressed and having obviously not slept. Panic raced through Ryan.
“What’s happened?” he asked. Tyler bit his bottom lip, and it looked as though it was trembling.
“Ryan, I have to tell you something,” he finally said.
Ryan’s heart was beating one hundred miles a minute, and his mouth was dry.
“Last night I kissed someone. I was so angry, I just…I’m so sorry Ryan. I ran into Alex, and it just happened, but nothing more,” Tyler stammered.
He felt his heart stop beating, and his body froze. He couldn’t breathe. He rolled out of the bed and walked toward the bathroom.
“Ryan, please!” Tyler begged.
“Not. Another. Word. Just leave the room! I need to think,” Ryan said between clenched teeth, his shock and anger fighting for control.
“
Ryan, please, look, I didn’t mean it to happen. It just. Look…I have desired Alex for a while, a long while, but I would never betray you and I never have. I messed up this time, and I’m so sorry, please forgive me?”
Ryan couldn’t believe it. Here he was last night thinking of how he’d let Tyler down. That he’d been neglecting him and causing him to be jealous of his friendship with Amazon Pixy. And Tyler, he, he was, he was kissing another man, someone he had wanted for a long time. “God,” he called out as pain lanced through him. He bent over panting with pain. He needed help. He needed Amazon Pixy.
He reached over to the table beside the bed for his phone. He logged on, praying that Amazon Pixy was online. He needed her right now more than he needed air to breathe.
Big Red: Baby bear, I need you!
* * * *
Alex was walking down the aisle of her favorite grocery store doing her normal Saturday-morning food shopping when her cell phone dinged. Opening it she saw Big Red’s message.
Amazon Pixy: What’s wrong, papa bear?
Big Red: My whole world is crumbling. God, it hurts so much!
Amazon Pixy: What’s happened?
Big Red: He told me he kissed some guy last night. We had a fight, and he kissed some other guy. I’m really scared, Pix. I can’t imagine my life without him, but he…He…
Online Ménage Page 2
