by Ronica Black
“Good night,” Cam said.
“Good night.”
Cam walked away, but the yearning she had to stay with Blake was so strong it felt like there was a rope between them that was tightening with every step she took toward her house. She couldn’t go back though, no matter how badly she wanted to. Because she knew if she did and she got that close to Blake again, she’d end up wanting to do far more than just snuggle. And that was something she still didn’t quite understand.
Chapter Twenty-eight
Cam killed the engine to her Jeep and climbed out slowly, the dogs right behind her. They bounded toward the side of the house as she paused and stretched her back. She’d spent the latter half of the day helping her friends with some home repairs and she’d grown stiff on the ride home. A nice hot shower was calling her and though she actually had a healthy appetite for the first time in days, she was willing to put off dinner until she had that shower.
She tucked her leather work gloves in her back pocket and followed the path the dogs had taken. Varying shades of midnight blue were creeping in on the twilight, making it easy to see the stark orange of a beach fire not far from the edge of her property. She should’ve gone in the front door, but she’d wanted to let the boys run and play a bit first.
Laughter rang out and became louder as she got closer. She recognized McKenna’s voice and Sloane’s laugh and she was glad that they seemed to be having a good time, but she hoped to slip inside unnoticed. If she didn’t, they’d probably insist she join them, and a long evening of socializing with people she didn’t know very well was the last thing she wanted for her evening after hours of physical labor.
She searched for the dogs as she neared the back of the house, but she’d lost sight of them. When she finally found them, she felt her body deflate.
“Shit.”
The five women from next door were sitting around a sizable fire with her three dogs right there with them, happily eating up some ample attention. She considered leaving them be, to let them hang out with Blake while she showered and made dinner. That seemed to be a solution that had worked lately when Blake went for her morning runs and asked if the boys could tag along. But Cam couldn’t assume it was okay even though Blake had been more than happy to let the dogs join her on her morning excursions. There were others with Blake now and Cam didn’t want to risk the dogs interfering with their fun.
She pulled off her cap and slapped it against her leg as she headed toward the group.
“Cam!” McKenna said. “Just in time.” She stood and hurried to her, clutching her arm and escorting her to the fire. Sloane crawled to a cooler and dug out a beer. She twisted it open and offered it to Cam.
“You look like you could use one of these,” she said.
“You look positively yummy,” Rylee said and Sage laughed and agreed.
Cam gave a quick laugh and awkwardly fingered her dirty tank top, unsure as to why her current appearance seemed so appealing. The new additions to the group, Rylee and Sage, had expressed their avid appraisal of her quite a few times since their arrival, and Cam had mostly shaken it off with a laugh or a wave as she walked by. But tonight she felt differently about their flirtation. Blake was sitting next to them and she had the same look Cam had seen on her when she’d met Rylee and Sage for the first time.
When she met Cam’s gaze, she held it for a long, intense moment as the women chatted around them. There was something that looked familiar to Cam in her eyes, something that looked a lot like pain. Blake turned toward the sea, seeming to prefer to focus on the hypnotic waves rather than Cam or her friends. Her silent but obvious discomfort made Cam feel even more awkward about Rylee’s and Sage’s attention, though she wasn’t totally sure why.
“You sit down right there next to Sloane and I’ll go get you some dinner. You must be starved.” McKenna took off toward the house as Cam was trying to protest.
“Don’t even try,” Sloane said, handing her the beer. “Trust me. I know of what I speak.” She patted the sand next to her.
“I don’t want her to go to any trouble over me,” Cam said, hesitating a second before sinking into the sand.
“She’s a mama bear,” Sloane said. “It’s just who she is. Makes her happy to care for others. And she’s not in there making a gourmet meal for you or anything. She’s fixing you a burrito. Leftovers from our dinner. But had there not been any leftovers, she definitely would be in there cooking for you.”
Cam sipped her beer and relished the iciness of it sliding down and soothing her dry throat. She really had been in need of a cold beer.
“I can’t stay long,” Cam said, noting Rylee’s and Sage’s continued focus on her. But more unsettling was Blake’s lack of interest at all. She was still lost somewhere out beyond the sea.
“Were you working on a house today?” Rylee asked. She was a petite woman with short, messy, blond hair and a playful smile. She seemed to be buzzing with energy twenty-four seven and Cam wondered if she ever closed her lively eyes to rest. She had her arms around her knees and her ankles crossed, but she didn’t seem to be as bothered by the night air as her friend Sage. Sage was dressed in head-to-toe sweats, complete with socks and shoes as well as a hooded jacket. Completely opposite of Rylee who had on a pair of long cargo shorts and a T-shirt.
“Yes,” Cam said. “I was helping a friend with some repairs.”
“That the house you were telling me about yesterday?” Sloane asked.
Cam pulled the beer from her lips. “No, that’s another friend. He lives closer to town. We’ll be starting work on his roof soon.”
“You work on roofs?” Blake said, tearing her gaze away from the ocean.
“Sometimes.”
“That’s dangerous—” She stopped just as suddenly as she started.
“I’m careful,” Cam said.
“You’re thinking about Susan?” Sloane asked, looking at Blake.
Blake nodded.
“One of our friends took a bad fall last year while she was repairing her roof. She got hurt pretty bad. Broken back, head injury. She’s just now getting back to her old self again.”
“That’s terrible,” Cam said.
“So, Blake’s a little uneasy about roof work. What happened to Susan scared us all.”
“It’s not just Susan,” Blake said. “I’ve seen more injuries than I’d like from falls like that. Even…a death.”
“Ugh,” Sage said. “Where, in the ER?”
Blake began explaining and Sloane gave Cam a soft nudge. “She cares about you,” she whispered. “She’s worried for you.”
Cam wasn’t sure what to say. But Sloane just nudged her again and winked. She looked up at McKenna as she came to sit on Cam’s other side.
“Here you are. One nice big chicken and bean burrito. With all the trimmings.” She handed Cam the plate and set a couple of napkins in her lap.
“McKenna, this is too much,” Cam said, examining the big burrito.
“You can take what you don’t eat home.” She held up a large storage bag with rolled aluminum foil inside, all set for Cam’s leftovers. She placed that on a towel and placed a fork on Cam’s plate. “Just in case you don’t want to eat it with your hands.” She touched Cam’s shoulder as if to reassure her. “Just eat what you can. You look so thin.”
Cam thanked her and took a bite. It was a wonderful mix of shredded chicken, refried beans, pico de gallo, and a bit of guacamole. Cam nodded her approval and took another bite as McKenna smiled.
They talked for a while, mostly about old times, laughing as they recalled shared memories. Cam soon relaxed and became rather amused as they relayed stories about Blake. Apparently, she’d had her first lesbian experience at college and they kept bringing up the hickeys she’d been left with.
“It gets less and less funny the more you guys bring it up,” Blake said.
“Not to us,” Sage said.
Sloane looked at Cam. “Blake’s embarrassed. She doesn’t like to
kiss and tell and now she’s pissed because I did it for her.”
“I’m not pissed,” Blake said. She shoved her hands into the front center pocket of her hoodie. “And I’m not embarrassed. You guys are just being ridiculous over it now. It’s old news.”
“Not to Cam,” Rylee said. “I’m sure she’d like to hear the whole story so she can laugh too.”
“Cam…she’s probably tired,” Blake said. “And she wouldn’t be interested.”
“Just tell us what it was like,” Sage said. “And where you guys went to get it on. Or did it happen at the party?”
“Why would you want to know that?”
“Why wouldn’t we want to know that?” Rylee asked. “Those are the juicy details, the cream filling of the donut.”
“And it’s you, Blake,” McKenna said. “No one ever gets to hear your juicy details. Well, other than Sloane, and you don’t always tell her everything.”
“Yeah, so spill it,” Sage said. “Give us some excitement.”
Sloane drank from her beer. “Face it, B. You’re the crème de la crème of donuts and everyone’s dying to squeeze out your filling.”
The women laughed, and Blake made a face showing just how crazy she thought they were being.
“I think even Cam would agree with me on that. I bet she wants to know just as badly as the rest of us do,” Sloane said.
Cam swallowed a bite and felt all eyes on her. Blake was staring at her intensely, and Cam couldn’t tell if she wanted her to agree or disagree. If she disagreed, Blake might not share any more details and it would probably be very difficult to get any of them out of her later. And Cam had to admit, she wanted to hear those details.
“I wouldn’t mind hearing,” Cam said.
The women cheered and Blake’s mouth fell open. Cam gave her a helpless shrug and grinned.
Chapter Twenty-nine
“Okay, so tell us,” Sage said. “What happened at the party?”
“If I tell you, do you all promise to leave it alone from now on?”
“No,” Sloane said. “I’ll tease you about it until the end of days. You know that.”
Blake sighed. “Damn, Sloane, come on.”
“We’ll tease you about it,” McKenna said. “But we won’t ask you for any more details. How’s that?”
“You won’t ask me anything about it at all,” Blake added.
“Fine,” McKenna said.
Blake stared into the fire and cleared her throat. “Her name was Penny. She was a year ahead of me and we met at our mutual friend’s dorm that night as you know. I noticed she was staring at me, but I wasn’t sure what to think about it if anything. I had kissed a couple of girls before, but not anything more, so I was a bit of a novice. Eventually, she started talking to me and she helped me with my costume and she smiled the whole time and seemed to only be interested in talking to me. I was flattered, and she was, you know, really cute.”
“What did she look like?” McKenna asked.
“She was about my height, slender, with short, dark red hair. Her haircut was kind of similar to Halle Berry’s. Her eyes were a really deep green and she was as outgoing as I was introverted. And she was, I don’t know, kind of a rebel. Well, compared to me anyway. She was extroverted, wanted to teach drama and direct plays, and she wore whatever the hell she wanted. I remember that night she had on ripped jeans, purple Doc Martens, and a Rage Against the Machine T-shirt that she’d cut into a sleeveless crop top. And I couldn’t stop staring at her belly ring.”
She laughed.
“Sloane, at some point, gave me a look letting me know that this girl was really into me, and when Penny said she wanted to come to the party with me, that pretty much confirmed it. So, we went and I proceeded to get very drunk on Jaeger shots, which I still can no longer stand the smell of, and I totally relaxed and started dancing with her. We were surrounded by people, crammed in with them, but all I could see was her, and the way she looked at me and the way she moved against me. I don’t know how long we danced before she pulled me tighter, whispered in my ear that she wanted me, and started grinding against my thigh. I just know I dug my fingers into her back at how incredible her mouth felt against my ear and soon my neck. And then the next thing I knew, we were on the move, hurrying from the house.”
She paused, seemed to be lost in the fire.
“She led me by the hand and kept smiling back at me telling me to hurry. It wasn’t long before we were back on campus and she was tugging me down the hallway of her dorm. And then we were in her room, her tiny little room that she lived in alone because she was an RA. She grabbed me and kissed me as soon as she closed the door. Well, I had never been kissed like that before and I was just completely helpless at how turned on I was, and she pushed me down on the bed and had me undressed before I could even contemplate what was happening.”
She paused again, and Cam set aside her burrito, lost in her story, lost in her. She could see it all in her mind, like a movie, and she was hanging on every word, desperate for more, wishing like hell she had been Penny and had been the one to take her to that place for the very first time.
“What happened next?” Rylee asked, breathless. They all seemed to be hanging on edge.
“I—” She shook her head.
“Blake!” Sage said. “Jesus, don’t stop now. You’re killing us.”
“You don’t want to share anymore?” McKenna asked gently.
“Can you give us just a little?” Rylee asked. “Just a smidge? So we don’t tear our hair out?”
Blake’s eyes sparked with the reflection of the fire.
“I remember I felt like I should stop her, like I should get up and leave. But…that wasn’t what I really wanted. I didn’t want her to stop. I didn’t want to leave. And as soon as she put her mouth on my body, there was no fucking way I was going to stop her or was going to leave. I didn’t care about being the good girl, the one who always did right and whatever it was my parents expected. I didn’t care. And it felt so God damned good, that did. Not as good as her mouth did, but pretty close.”
The others laughed, but Cam was quiet, riveted, her body burning hotter than the fire right in front of her. What she would’ve given to be the one in that room with her that night. She was in disbelief at how intense this longing was. And she expected guilt and shame and fear to find their way in to kill it. But they didn’t and she could think of nothing else. Only Blake. In that bed, totally nude, her body being awakened for the first time.
“I had my first taste of freedom that night,” Blake said softly. “Penny set me free.”
“How many times?” Rylee asked.
Blake smiled. “I lost count.”
“Did you stay with her all night?” Sage asked.
“Yes. Well, most of the night. I stumbled back to my dorm close to dawn. Penny had said if I didn’t leave she’d hold me captive forever.”
“That sounds like a punishment I’d gladly accept,” Sage said.
“It was true,” Blake said. “We had a hard time parting every time we got together. It was a very fiery affair. And it made studying all the more difficult to say the least. She was on my mind constantly. It was…life changing.”
“Why did it end?” McKenna asked.
“She left. Well, she moved. Off campus, miles away. I saw her a few times at her new place, but she had roommates and we were rarely alone. Things just kind of fizzled.”
“That sucks,” Rylee said.
Blake laughed. “It did, but on the other hand, I might not have graduated had it continued.”
“It was that intense, huh?” Rylee asked.
Blake met her gaze. “Yes.”
“That explains so much,” Sloane said. “I wish I’d known at least some of it, maybe I could’ve helped or been more supportive. Or given you guys some time alone in our room.”
“It was pretty good the way it was,” Blake said. “I don’t have a single regret.”
“That was better than some
of my books,” McKenna said.
The others agreed and, after a long silence, Sage looked at Cam with huge eyes and pointed.
“Oh, my God, that’s it! That’s how I know you!”
Cam stiffened. Oh, fuck.
“You’re her.” She snapped her fingers at her. “Oh my God, you’re Camille Cruz.”
“Camille Cruz?” Rylee asked.
“You know,” Sage said, looking at Rylee with excitement. “The book series I love. The dystopian ones. She’s—she’s—you’re her, aren’t you?”
Cam couldn’t breathe. Her cover was totally blown. She couldn’t deny it. It would be pointless and she didn’t like lying. People had recognized her before when she’d lived in the States, but she’d hoped no one would stumble upon her here, in her private beach haven.
Fuck.
“Yes,” she said simply.
She felt McKenna touch her arm, heard Sloane and McKenna both say things, heard the same from Rylee as Sage continued to carry on with excitement about her books. But Blake didn’t say anything. Not a word. She just looked at her with a blank expression, as if she hadn’t really heard or made sense of what Sage had said.
“I need to get home,” Cam said, standing.
They all protested, all except Blake. Sage asked her about autographs, McKenna had questions, though they were kind and more concerned with how she was feeling. Sloane asked her to stay, to hang out, obviously sensing her discomfort. She even said they wouldn’t bother her about the books if she did.
Cam thanked them, for the food and the kindness. But she said she was tired and needed to call it a day. She bid them good night and headed home, the dogs finally doing her a solid and giving in to follow her right away. As if they somehow knew that tonight, she wasn’t up for trying to corral them home.
As if they somehow knew that tonight, everything had changed.
Chapter Thirty
“I thought you’d be more excited,” Sloane said as she and Blake walked through the village to meet Alejandro and Javier. They were going to do a walk-through of the building and get the estimated costs of repairs. Alejandro had said that he’d asked Tomas to come to give his opinion as well.
