by Ronica Black
She covered her mouth and clenched her eyes.
“Like Tomas.” Her eyes opened and they were glossy with tears. “The firemen were pulling me away from her and I—was screaming. At Lexi, at them. I didn’t want to let her go. I didn’t want to let her go. Because I knew, I knew I’d never get to touch her again. I knew she was gone.”
She started crying again, her chin at her chest. Blake held her close and let her cry.
“I’m so sorry, Cam,” she said, wiping away her own tears.
“I didn’t want to live,” she said. “I didn’t deserve to live.”
“Cam, that’s not true.”
“It is true.” She pegged her with a pain-filled look. “It’s my fault she’s gone.”
Blake shook her head. “How is it your fault?”
“Because I was arguing with her and I wasn’t paying attention like I should’ve been. If I’d been paying more attention, I would’ve seen that other driver run the light, I could’ve swerved or—”
“No, Cam,” Blake said. “It wasn’t your fault.”
Cam started to argue, but Blake held her face. “Listen to me. It wasn’t your fault. It was an accident and you had no control over any of it. Do you understand?”
Cam swallowed and more tears trailed down her cheeks. Blake swiped them with her thumbs.
“You have to forgive yourself, Cam. To let go of this self-blame. Your wife…would she want you to do this to yourself? To live like this?”
“No. She’d kick my ass.”
Blake smiled. “I think I would’ve liked her then.”
They were quiet, Blake gently cupping her face and Cam staring into her with her deep, dark eyes. Her gaze was softer than it had ever been and it seemed to be taking Blake completely in. Like Cam was allowing herself to really see her for the first time.
And then Cam leaned toward her. An inch, only an inch, but her intention was clear. Blake wanted to meet her halfway, started to do so, wanting to kiss her just as badly as Cam seemed to want to kiss her. But Blake stopped, pulled back. Cam blinked and then straightened quickly, causing Blake’s hands to fall away.
“Tomas,” Cam said, standing. “I want to get back in case they call.”
Blake stood alongside her and opened the door. Cam walked through and Blake watched as she walked ahead of her back toward the waiting room.
Tomas wasn’t the only one healing this evening.
Cam was too.
And Blake knew it had been a long time coming.
Chapter Thirty-two
Cam sat on the couch and leaned forward, elbows on knees, to run her hands through her damp hair. The hot shower she’d just taken had finally chased off the shakes she’d had for good. Yet she was still cold. Unusually so. She massaged her head and eyed the dim fireplace. She was dressed warmly, in thick, soft athletic pants and matching long-sleeved shirt. A fire seemed to be what she needed, but even just thinking about getting up to start one felt overwhelming.
What is wrong with me?
Her back door eased open and the dogs ambled in, trotting to her with welcome home greetings, though not with their usual exuberance. They seemed to be sensitive to her sadness, like they’d been after her big argument with Blake on the beach. They’d stayed in bed by her side all night long as she’d cried.
“Hello, my boys.” She stroked their heads and buried her face in their fur.
“How are you feeling?”
Blake had stepped inside and crossed the room quietly. She’d gone back to Sloane’s to clean up and to get the dogs after seeing Cam home safely from the emergency clinic. Cam had paid for a cab rather than having Sloane come get them. She hadn’t wanted to come home at all at first and she’d fought Blake on it all evening, until Blake’s reasoning finally penetrated her haze of fear and reached her.
Cam was grateful for her, for everything. And she couldn’t help but smile weakly as Blake came to the couch. She appeared to have showered, like Cam, her hair damp and hanging loose along her face. She, too, was also dressed for warmth, wearing similar pants to Cam’s and a cable knit sweater. Cam could smell the sweet scent she’d noticed on her days before. And it still, despite everything she’d been through that day, jump-started her heart.
“What time is it?”
Blake checked her watch. “After ten.”
“Do you think he’s still all right?” It had been hours since they’d gotten word that Tomas was stable and resting for the night. Blake had even spoken to one of the doctors personally, and Cam still had had a hard time letting go and trusting that Tomas was going to be okay.
“He’s been stable for hours and none of his injuries are life threatening.”
“That could change,” Cam said. “Anything could happen.”
Blake knelt before her and made a move to touch her hand, but stopped. “It’s not likely, Cam. The surgery on his leg went well, he doesn’t have any major damage. There aren’t any signs of traumatic brain injury or spinal injuries. He’s hurt badly, but his broken wrist will heal, along with his bumps and bruises. His prognosis is good. And considering that fall, and that rebar, this is good news. He was very lucky.”
Again, she started to reach out to her and stopped. “Please, try to relax now.”
Blake was being so thoughtful and kind and she’d already done so much for Tomas and for her. She’d even sat and held her when she’d completely broken down and told her about Lexi and the accident. And now she was with her again, after spending hours with her at the clinic, waiting for word on Tomas. She was there checking on her when she should be in bed herself.
“He was lucky you were there,” Cam said. She glanced down at Blake’s hand. Blake had been careful not to touch her since their time together in the room at the clinic.
When I tried to kiss her.
She felt a fool and wanted to blame it on the emotion of the moment. But there was more to it than that. So much more.
“Thank you, Blake.” She choked up a little, her gratitude sincere. She managed to smile, and Blake slowly raised her hand and this time followed through and skimmed her cheek with her fingertips. Cam inhaled quickly, her touch like lightning. Blake stood, as if she’d been struck too.
“How about a fire?” She was already at the fireplace tossing in logs. She got it lit and going strong before she faced Cam again. “Are you hungry?”
Cam shook her head. “I’m good.”
Blake didn’t seem to like that answer and for a moment she seemed at a loss as to what to do.
“Are you sure you don’t want something hot to eat? You’ve got to be starved.”
“Blake, no. You’ve done…so much. I had a peanut butter sandwich. I’m okay.”
She finally came and sat next to Cam. “What I’ve done doesn’t matter. I’m not keeping score.”
Her eyes were like sea glass being shone upon by the sun.
“If you need something more, I’ll get it. Don’t hesitate to tell me. Okay? It’s been a rough day for you. Tomas’s fall, your memories of the car accident, you’ve got to be exhausted.”
“I am.”
“Then we should get you to bed.”
Cam straightened, the words taking on a different meaning to her than they obviously had to Blake.
“No.”
“Why not?”
“I can’t. Not with you here.”
Blake’s face fell and Cam hurried to explain. She gripped her leg when she tried to move and Blake stilled, obviously startled by her touch.
“You’re taking that wrong,” Cam said. “Just like you did the night we helped Alberto.”
Blake glanced down at her leg where Cam held her.
“If you can’t sleep with me here then I should go.”
“I don’t want you to go.”
“You need to sleep.”
“I don’t want to sleep.”
“I don’t understand. What do you want?”
Cam couldn’t answer. She didn’t have the words or the c
ourage to say anything. She just didn’t want her to leave. She didn’t want to stop looking at her or smelling her or having her so close to her she could almost feel the heat of her body.
“Cam?” Her breathing had quickened and her gaze was more alert and seeking than it was concerned.
“Don’t go.” She had the urge to kiss her again, lured by her parted lips, those beautiful bow-shaped lips. She began to lean in, drawn, pulled to her mouth.
“Cam,” Blake breathed.
“Do you want to go?” Cam asked, pausing. She saw Blake swallow.
“No.”
And before Cam could move again, Blake’s eyes hazed over and she came at her, pressing Cam back into the couch. She slid her hand along the side of Cam’s face and singed her lips into Cam’s, branding her with aggressive, hungry kisses that framed and tugged and sucked, like Cam was the best thing she’d ever tasted.
Cam relented, helpless, shocked, and so overwhelmed it took her a few seconds to catch up. When she did, she groaned at the feel of her plump, ripe mouth and the mind-spinning nectar of her taste. Cam pulled on her leg, urging her closer and Blake stopped suddenly and stared into her.
“I can’t do this. You’re so vulnerable right now, Cam. I’m concerned—worried that—Oh, God.” Her eyes widened and then narrowed as Cam lifted her hand and began kissing her fingertips. Slowly, delicately, deliberately awakening each and every nerve.
“I’m okay,” Cam said, trailing down to her inner wrist, kissing and breathing upon her skin. Taking in that new sweet scent of hers.
“You’re—”
“I’m fine.” She was better than fine. A sudden surge of energy was coursing through her now, fueled by desire. She extended her tongue, traced her way up into her palm. “Stay.”
Blake shuddered, and with a fiery look that burned into Cam, she pushed her back again and crawled on top of her. But instead of kissing her, she reversed the hold Cam had on her and brought Cam’s hand to her mouth where she began kissing her fingers just as Cam had done hers.
A hot shockwave rushed between her legs. She lost the ability to breathe and actually struggled, as if she’d never taken in air before.
Blake was watching her, grinning ever so slightly as she continued to tease her fingers with breath, lips, and tongue.
“Is this making you as wet as it did me?”
Her words hit Cam as powerfully as her touch, sending another shockwave through her, only this time it not only settled between her legs, it pulsed. “Yes.”
“Good,” she said and kissed Cam with lips that somehow seemed to burn hotter than her gaze and Cam felt the piercing of all those tiny arrows she’d imagined Blake’s kiss to bring. Every single one was laced with Blake’s own sweet elixir and Cam could feel it pushing through her veins like heavy, potent venom.
Cam had to touch her, had to have her just as vehemently as Blake was having her.
She slid her hand into Blake’s hair and returned her kiss, using her tongue to hungrily devour her. Blake moaned as if she approved and straddled her legs. And Cam, desperate to feel her, fumbled with her sweater, finally finding the hem to shove it up over her breasts.
They were bare and the warmth of them skimming her hands as she tried to remove the sweater sent Cam into overdrive. And when Blake tore away from her and pulled off her sweater and looked at Cam with a flushed face and a wildly aggressive need, Cam knew that what Sloane had said about resisting an attraction was true.
This was their long denied desire coming to light and Cam knew it was going to be an explosion.
Chapter Thirty-three
“Touch me,” Blake said, taking Cam’s hands and placing them on her sumptuous breasts. Cam cupped them, almost closing her eyes at how wonderful they felt, so soft and full. But she kept her eyes open and watched Blake’s face as she began grazing her nipples with her thumbs. Blake pressed her lips together, made small noises and began to move her hips. She was searching for connection, trying to rub herself against Cam’s thigh. But Cam was too turned on to assist her by moving her leg. Too turned on to have to watch in sweet agony as Blake ground herself against her thigh.
Cam wanted to feel her now. She quickly lowered her hand and gave Blake what she was after. She pressed her hand directly between her legs and found the heat of her through her sweats.
“Cam, oh—yes.” She gripped her wrist and gyrated slowly, but then, like Cam, seemed to lose all patience and control. She began to move faster, trying to control Cam’s hand.
“You want more?” Cam moved up to her waistband.
“Yes,” she breathed. “Hurry.” She tried to push Cam in she was so desperate.
Cam was just as desperate to appease her and she hurriedly dipped her hand inside her pants and found her heat once again. Her blessedly hot, silky heat. They both cried out as she slid her fingers into her flesh and began to stroke her along her shaft.
“Oh, Christ you feel good,” Cam rasped.
“Mm, Cam. So do you. God, so do you.”
Cam fell into rhythm with her, giving as Blake eagerly took, gliding and groaning. Cam continued to tease her nipples, awakening the rosy centers, loving how they bunched and hardened, demanding more.
Blake seemed to love it too, calling out twice as she jerked her hips harder and faster, looking at Cam like she was going to eat her alive.
“Don’t stop,” she said. “Just—keep going.” She grabbed fistfuls of Cam’s shirt and lifted it only enough to get at the waistband of her pants. “I can’t come without feeling you. And I’m really close to coming. Oh—God. Jesus. Cam, can I touch you?” Her fingers were teasing her skin just inside her pants.
Cam swallowed, her own flesh beating as hard as her heart.
“Please? Oh, God, Cam, please let me. I want to feel you.”
“Yes,” Cam said.
“You want me to?”
“Yes, touch me.”
Blake slipped farther into her pants and Cam opened her legs a little, anticipating as she felt her fingers blaze a trail down to her center. And when she found her, when her miraculously warm fingers found her, Cam rocked back.
“Oh, God!”
“Yes,” Blake said, eyes narrowing again. Deviously. “You are—so wet. Dear God, yes.” She leaned forward as she began to rub her, quickly locating her most sensitive spot and plying it with heavy attention.
“Fuck,” Cam said, easing down farther on the couch, opening herself more, feeling like she absolutely, could not possibly, get enough.
“Do you want me to stop?” Blake asked, grinning, voice heavy with seduction.
Cam felt her own pleasure come over her and she answered with a voice that rivaled Blake’s. “You know I don’t.”
Blake laughed.
Cam watched her beautiful body dance against her hand, so fucking hot and slick, and she watched her beautiful face as it succumbed to the pleasure she was both giving and receiving. Cam looked down to where Blake’s arm disappeared into her pants and watched the movement of her hand beneath her sweats, touching her, pleasing her, getting her off.
Cam bit her lower lip, it was all so fucking good she wanted to get completely lost in it forever.
“Do you want to come?” Blake asked, her eyes heavy lidded but wild. Cam had never seen anything sexier in her life.
“Fuck, yes, I want to come.”
“You don’t want to wait? To—go slow?”
Cam shuddered and her hips jerked. “No fucking way. Do you?”
“Nuh-uh.”
Cam moved her hand from her breast and cradled her face. “Then come here.” She urged her closer and stared into her.
“Hurry, Cam. I’m—close.”
“You want to come?”
“Oh, Jesus, yes.”
“Then kiss me. Kiss me while you come.”
She tugged her to her and Blake’s mouth met hers in a fierce collision of hunger and need. Cam plunged her tongue into her and Blake answered with her own and they stroked and danced
there just as their hands did between their legs.
Their kiss fueled their fire and they both began to quiver as they moved and gave harder and faster. They moaned and made small cries, all of them muffled by their feeding mouths. They were fused in pleasure, refusing to part until they were satiated, until they had gotten what they so desperately needed.
And it happened for Cam first, a sudden, deep groan, and a melting of bones as her entire body opened up and allowed the pleasure to flood in. Blake jerked, made her own cry, and joined Cam in absorbing all the ecstasy they could, before the gate closed and the pleasure was suddenly too much, sending them into spasms that were, first reacting to sensitivities, and then, a split second later, hungry for more. Causing them to tear away from their kiss and attack each other’s neck instead, like vampires thirsty for a vein, while their bodies convulsed, saturated and chaotic with the onslaught of pleasure.
“Blake,” Cam said, unable to get enough of her skin in her mouth. She dug her fingers into her back and lowered her head to go after her breast. Blake grabbed her hair and called her name as Cam sucked, taking as much as she could of her into her mouth.
“Cam!” More spasms shot through them both, rocking them, insisting they take it all in fits of throaty cries and hungry, last second attempts to devour each other with mouths and hands. Until at last, they grew still, breathless, and wrapped together, Cam slowly massaging her nipple with her tongue, Blake grazing her nails through her scalp.
“I didn’t think it was ever going to stop,” Blake whispered. “So fucking incredible.”
“I didn’t want it to stop,” Cam said, resting her cheek on the pillow of her breast. “And I don’t want to move my hand.”
“Mm, me neither.”
“If I could walk around with my hand in your pants, I would.”
Blake threw her head back and laughed.
“But someone might notice,” Cam said.
“They might.”
“Right now, I’m thinking I wouldn’t care.” She closed her eyes. She felt so warm, so relaxed, so right. She wanted to fall asleep in that position, her face resting against Blake’s heartbeat, breathing in her sweet skin.
