by Ronica Black
Blake wasn’t comfortable discussing Cam’s personal business, but she was relieved to hear that Sloane and McKenna had not divulged anything about the accident to either Sage or Rylee.
Blake chose her words very carefully. “She’s a very private person, Sage. So, if what you’re saying is true, and she has suffered a tragedy like that, then she would probably want to keep that, especially something like that, very private, along with the rest of her life. You can understand that. Right?”
Sage didn’t have malicious intentions in her quest for knowledge about Cam. Blake knew her well and knew that her motivation was her insatiable curiosity. But she did like to gab, so Blake was trying to appeal to her big heart, hoping it would override her tabloid-like drive to discover and spread gossip.
“Put yourself in her shoes. Try to imagine, if you can, that you’re not an extrovert, but rather someone who is more reserved and introverted. And you’re a writer, which is a very solitary occupation, but you’re good at it and your words reach a lot of people, and those people want to know you. So, you share some details of your life with the public, but not much else, hoping people will respect your need for privacy. Now, imagine you lost a loved one, the person closest to you in the world, in an accident. Would you want thousands of people knowing the details of that, flinging questions at you, flashing their cameras and intruding upon you during your grief? And probably for years afterward?”
“No, I wouldn’t. That would be terrible.”
“If it would be terrible for you, imagine how difficult it would be for someone like Cam. Can you understand now, why she may be so withdrawn, why she’s so private?”
Sage seemed to be thinking over what Blake had said. The usual exuberance that was almost always evident on her face, especially in her cherub-like cheeks, was noticeably absent.
“It did happen to her, didn’t it? No, don’t tell me. I don’t, I shouldn’t know.” She pulled her hands down her face, stretching the skin. “Oh, my God, I feel so bad for her. And I’ve been such a freaked out fan around her.” She didn’t wait for an answer. “I’m just so impressed by her work. I love it. Love her books. And she is hot, Blake. I’m human and I can’t help but notice that. You can deny her looks all you want, but you aren’t fooling anyone. Because like it or not, you’re human too.”
“I haven’t denied…her physical…attractiveness.” Denying Cam’s attractiveness would be an obvious aversion, which would lead them all to suspect something more. She kept a straight face but couldn’t quite manage to sit still under the scrutiny of Sage’s stare. She shifted and Cam’s book started to slide from her lap. She caught it quickly and then fumbled with it and got a glimpse of Cam’s photo on the back. It was a really good photo. She franticly tried to find a more secure spot to put the book. When she couldn’t, she returned it reluctantly to her lap and rested her hands on it.
Sage, apparently, had seen the whole thing, and Blake could tell by the crinkling of her eyes, that she’d seen the very thing Blake was trying to hide.
A huge smile cracked her face and she tossed the pillow at her and laughed. “I knew it! I freaking knew it! You’ve got it for her.”
Blake threw the pillow back at her. “That’s not what I said.”
“You might as well have. You’re so nervous right now, you’d probably faint if you turned that book over and looked at her picture again.”
Blake rolled her eyes. “I would not.”
“Then do it.”
“No.”
“See?”
“I’m not going to do it because it’s stupid. One of your dramatic assumptions.”
“You won’t do it because you know I’m right. You’ll blush like you always do when something gets to you. And Cam…she gets to you.”
“Honestly, Sage, when are you going to give up the drama?”
But Sage moved right on, ignoring her. “We’ve all been wondering what you two have been up to the past few days.”
“Her friend fell off a roof,” Blake said matter-of-factly. “I’m a doctor and I helped out. We both wanted to check on him. I don’t know why you guys are reading more into that.” She couldn’t hold her gaze and instead unintentionally glanced down at the book on the armrest. It wasn’t Cam’s, but she’d been thinking about Cam as she’d been reading the steamy romance. She hurriedly placed it on top of Cam’s book in her lap. But she felt herself blush regardless.
She braced herself, waiting for Sage to notice and say something.
Sloane and Rylee walked in the back door though, saving her.
“Hola, ladies,” Sloane said, tossing a football in the air and catching it with the same hand. She and Rylee had been down on the beach throwing the ball. McKenna emerged from the bedroom where she’d been napping. The noise must’ve woken her.
“Everyone about ready for dinner?” She walked up to Sloane, caught the football in mid-air and gave her a kiss.
Sloane promptly grabbed her ass and pulled her to her. “Mm, I love the way you smell when you’ve been sleeping.” She nuzzled her neck and McKenna squealed. Sloane kissed her again before she answered her.
“We need to set a place for one more,” she said, heading for the fridge for a cold bottle of water. She threw one to Rylee who settled onto the chair across from Blake.
“We do? For who?” McKenna asked.
“Cam.”
Blake perked, as did Sage. Her eyes were wide behind her glasses and Blake knew she was dying to inquire further, but she managed to refrain.
“You’re kidding,” McKenna said. “How did you convince her to do that? We about had to bribe her to get her to come over here the very few times she has.”
“I didn’t. She sort of invited herself.”
“Now you’re really pulling my leg,” McKenna said.
Sloane drank her water and then shook her head. “I’m not, babe. She’s really coming and she really invited herself.”
Blake had seen Cam in passing yesterday and today, but someone had always been with her when she had.
They hadn’t been alone together in over forty-eight hours, and Blake knew Cam’s request to come to dinner was in light of that fact. It seemed the urge to be together was wreaking havoc on her as well, and Cam was probably thinking that if they couldn’t be alone, then at least they’d be together over dinner, face-to-face and able to interact.
Blake’s skin burned uncontrollably as she imagined Cam walking through the back door. She knew she had to be as red as a beet. She gathered her books and headed for the bedroom, hoping no one would see her. But McKenna called after her.
“Blake, you okay with Cam joining us for dinner?”
Thankfully, McKenna’s question threw her off kilter and the heat in her face dissipated. She turned and found McKenna behind her.
“Of course, why wouldn’t I be?”
“I just wanted to be sure.”
“Why are you asking me now when you never have before?”
“If I’d asked you before, you’d have protested or made yourself scarce. Tonight, however, I thought there’d be a good chance you’d say it was fine. And I was right.” She smirked a little, wiggled her eyebrows, and turned to head back to the kitchen.
Blake retreated to her room, closed the door, and started digging through her clothes for something to wear. McKenna’s probing hadn’t surprised her. She’d been on her like white on rice since the night she and Cam had returned home from the hospital without returning their calls or texts. They hadn’t forgotten that, and they hadn’t forgotten that she and Cam had ended up alone at Cam’s without letting them know they’d arrived.
They knew something was up and McKenna had been stuck to her like glue, wanting to walk with her in the mornings and the others wanting to hang with her the rest of the time. In all the madness, Blake hadn’t been able to get to Cam. Even her attempt to sneak out at night had failed when Rylee had woken from her slumber on the sofa bed as Blake had slipped outside to go “sit under the star
s.”
Being away from her this long was wearing on her nerves and Blake had even considered sneaking out her window later that evening when everyone was asleep. She was that desperate to be with her. She needed to touch her and hold her. Now more than ever. She didn’t have much more time, and she desperately needed to talk to her about that. The pain of having to do so had made staying away today easier than it normally would’ve been.
She just didn’t want to do what it was she absolutely had to do.
She dressed in a daze and pushed her thoughts back to Cam and the evening at hand. She wanted tonight to be special and she wasn’t going to let dread ruin it.
She wondered whether or not they’d be able to hide their powerful attraction over dinner. She had to downplay everything, even her outfit, so she wouldn’t appear to be overdoing it. But she also had to show interest in Cam, just as any friend would and engage in casual conversation. She could do that, sure. She could do that standing on her head. She just didn’t think she could do it while looking at her. Would anyone notice if she spoke to her while looking elsewhere? There was a strong possibility that they might.
She applied some makeup, made sure it wasn’t too noticeable, and then eyed her bottle of perfume. Should she? That would be noticeable and McKenna would definitely wonder why she’d put some on for a casual dinner at home with friends. But Cam did seem to like it. A lot actually. The way she devoured her wrist and neck, like she couldn’t get enough of her. If Cam liked it that much, then she’d most definitely notice it and that was all Blake focused on as she sprayed a little on her wrists and on her neck just below her ears. Where Cam liked to kiss her. She wondered what kind of reaction Cam would have when she caught the scent. Would it be too subtle for Blake to see? She hoped not.
She spent the next half hour thinking about that as she sat on her bed, taking turns tracing the letters of Cam’s name on her book and staring at her author photo on the back. She opened the pages to read once, but then decided not to. She wanted plenty of time and plenty of peace when she sat down to do that.
At the moment, those two things were seriously hard to come by.
Chapter Forty
After checking herself over in the mirror one last time, Blake emerged from her room for dinner. As she walked into the living room, she listened closely, wondering if Cam had yet arrived. She found her answer as soon as she reached the living room and could see out the windows. Cam was on the patio, with Sloane, Sage, and Rylee, holding a bottle of beer as she listened to Sage, who, from what Blake could tell, was very animated in whatever tale she was sharing.
Blake hurried on to the kitchen, to where McKenna was, and tried to behave as if it were any other evening, and Cam wasn’t standing just outside the window in a black sweater and tight, faded jeans that ended in rolled cuffs at her shins.
She cleared her parched throat as she stood next to McKenna at the stove.
“What’s on the menu tonight?” Blake asked.
McKenna was stirring a big pot of creamy noodles. “Shrimp fettuccine Alfredo.” She stole a glance at Blake and then stared at her fully. “Ow, look at you.”
“What?” Blake said, already feeling the flush beneath her skin. She ran her hands over her camel-colored sleeveless sweater and dark jeans, worried that she’d overdone it.
“Nothing,” McKenna said lightly.
“No, really, what?” Now she was worried she didn’t look good enough.
McKenna stirred the noodles after pouring in the steaming shrimp.
“Do I not look good? Is it the sweater?”
“You look fantastic.” She sucked some Alfredo sauce off one of her fingers and then dumped the contents of the pot into a big serving dish. She winked at Blake as she picked up the dish with both hands. “Get the door for me?”
They crossed to the back door and Blake snuck a peek at Cam. She was smiling, and her hair was being teased by the breeze. Blake slid open the door for McKenna and forced herself to keep her eyes on the task at hand.
“Cam’s here,” McKenna said just before she stepped through to the patio. “But I’m pretty sure you’re already aware of that.” She winked at her again and set the dish down in the center of the table.
Blake wanted to retreat to the kitchen, needing a brief reprieve to get herself together, but the table was set, complete with everything, even drinks. And before she could come up with another excuse, Rylee saw her.
“There she is,” she said. “The evening’s complete now.”
Blake smiled softly as everyone looked at her. Including Cam, who had lowered her beer and stopped laughing. Blake didn’t keep her focus on her long. But it had been long enough to see Cam’s eloquent eyes openly take her in.
“Where you been, B?” Sloane asked.
“Just in the bedroom. Why? Am I missing something?”
“Other than entertaining our guest? No,” Sloane said.
“I didn’t realize everyone was out here.”
“I don’t think she heard me call her the first two times,” McKenna said. “But she’s here now, so let’s eat.”
They all sat around the table and Cam took the seat one over from Blake, with Sage in between. It was an optimal spot in which to see each other completely, but Blake grew nervous for that very reason. She could still feel Cam’s heavy stare, and when she looked at her, she felt the full weight of it from across the table as Cam continued to study her.
Blake tried to hide her nerves by offering Cam a warm smile.
“It’s good to see you again, Cam. How have you been?” She grabbed her beer and drank, her voice sounding too high-pitched for her liking.
“I’ve been all right,” Cam said. “How about you?”
She sounded surprisingly calm, given the intensity of her stare. But cool and casual was what Cam did best. Little did anyone know the magnitude of passion she had hidden inside.
“Not too badly,” Blake said, trying casual on for herself. It sounded completely contrived to Blake, but no one seemed to notice. Cam, however, grinned slightly and then wound some noodles around her fork.
“This looks great, McKenna,” she said. “Thanks for having me.”
“It is great,” Rylee said after swallowing. The others agreed.
McKenna seemed pleased. “I’m glad everyone likes it. And, Cam, we’re thrilled to have you.”
“And we love that you just up and decided to join us,” Sloane said. “Anytime you want to come over, feel free.”
“Thanks,” Cam said.
“So what have you been up to?” McKenna asked her.
Blake forked a bite of shrimp and noodles and ate as Cam answered. She wanted to appear busy as she took her turn in consuming Cam with her eyes. The black sweater wasn’t snug, but it was fitted enough to show off her lean form and small, taut breasts. The color of it set off the rich cobalt of her eyes and the thick waves of her dark hair. And her skin looked more appetizing than anything Blake had ever eaten.
“I’ve mostly been out visiting Tomas. He’s doing really well, but he’s having a hard time accepting that he can’t do much for a while.”
“Have you been writing?” Rylee asked. She lowered her fork when Sage burned her with a stare. “Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean to pry,” she said.
“No, it’s fine,” Cam said. “I have been writing. Quite a bit actually.”
Sage squealed and gave a tiny, controlled clap. “Can you tell us about it? Or do you want to? I should ask.”
“It’s different,” Cam said. “Something new for me.”
“It’s not science fiction?” Sage asked.
“Not this one.” She took a sip of her beer. “This one is more emotional, more dramatic. It’s about the dynamics between people as they experience love and loss and life together.”
McKenna sighed and looked wistful. “Sounds good to me.”
“Are you going to publish it?” Rylee asked.
Cam swallowed a bite of food. “I haven’t really thought abo
ut it. I’m just so glad to be writing again.”
“You’re enjoying what you’re doing,” Blake said.
“Very much so,” Cam said, meeting and holding her gaze.
“That’s the most important thing,” Blake added.
“It is.”
“You must be very happy then.”
“Thank you, I am.”
“Well, you definitely look happy,” Sloane said.
“Can I ask what inspired you to write this new piece?” Sage asked.
Cam covered her grin by quickly bringing her beer to her mouth.
“Frustration,” she said, returning the bottle to the table. “Anger. Pain. Longing. Desire. All of it. I hadn’t felt those things in a very long time, and I’d forgotten how powerful they are and how you aren’t really living if you aren’t allowing yourself to feel them.”
“You’re feeling them now?” McKenna asked.
Cam was staring into the tabletop, her fingers playing with the sweat on the beer bottle. Blake was sitting on edge, heart fluttering and skipping beats. Could everyone else understand what Cam was saying? Or was it just her? She gripped the edge of the table, waiting.
“I am,” Cam said.
There was a long silence and Blake’s pulse was so high she worried she might grow dizzy and fall from her chair. Cam was talking about her. About them. She was sure of it. And she was sure her friends knew it too. How could they not? Their cover was probably blown but she realized she didn’t care. At that moment, she was so moved by Cam’s words, so overcome with emotion and desire, she was ready to shout out her feelings for Cam to the world. And after she did that, she was going to shove everything off the table and crawl over to her and ravish her right there in front of everyone.
